The Reasons Behind the Sex Toys Craze

If you key in the words Sex Toys on any search engine on the Internet, it will give you thousands of results. Starting from blogs discussing the use of toys, websites primarily reviewing the newest gadgets around, to online stores selling their sexual wares, the Internet is full of information about toys.

Thousands of websites offer sex toys on the Internet, ready to be delivered at the click of a button right at your door step. This is the age of the Internet after all. Sex toys have increasingly become popular over the years. It may be because the sexual tastes and desires of people have evolved. It could also be because of the hype from adult movies.

Whatever the reason may be, the toy industry has become an overnight billion dollar empire to be reckoned with.

One may be surprised to note the large numbers of people that have indulged in toys to enhance sexual pleasure for masturbation as well as for intercourse with a partner. Many people are avid collector of all kinds of toys that the markets have to offer. Sharing these toys with friends and partners makes some people feel that they have an edge over the others. Such toys can make one feel responsible for one’s own pleasure, as well as have a claim on the pleasure of one’s partner.

Overall, toys have become rapidly popular because they fulfill the sexual need of many people. It does not have to be because of a partner’s inadequacy; it could simply be a way to satisfy deep yearnings.

Sex Toys Spice Up Intercourse
Though many perceive that toys are meant for solo sex, a lot of couples use such toys to enhance foreplay and the sexual experience. Sex toys help people to do certain things that they might not otherwise be able to. Some vibrators could manage to provide the perfect clitoral stimulation while there may be penis rings that prolong erections for more sexual pleasure.

Many once-floundering couples say that sex toys changed their lives when they started being used to prop up the relationship. The toy has often been credited with improving relations between couples. What once was a dull sex life turned into steamy bed scenes when pleasure tools came into the picture.

Sex Toys Set the Atmosphere
The toy makes foreplay more pleasurable. It warms up both partners, readying them for the act itself. It can set the mood for wild and exiting sex. Introducing toys can ignite one’s imagination and can set the mood for a great sexual experience with one’s partner.

Sex Toys Help You Break Out of a Routine
Sex toys help couples or singles to break out from the usual. Normal masturbation through clitoral stimulation with the fingers has become almost obsolete, thanks to the introduction of multifunction vibrators. Dolls, masturbation sheaths and fake vaginas allow men and women to vividly simulate intercourse at any time.

Sex toys have become the answer to the many quests that couples make to find the secret to the ultimate love making.

Source: Quality articles on Sexuality - ArticleMuse.com
Author: Teeja Hivsbob

'Love+Sex with Robots': Our future?

His prediction: Falling in love with and making love to artificial but remarkably human-like robots will become a socially accepted alternative.

Never thought of C-3PO as a sex slave? A roll in the hay with Arnold's ripped T-850 Terminator bot?

Hints of Stepford-wife lusting are foreplay in an overly researched thesis that argues plausibly but way too enthusiastically for stranger-than-fiction bedfellows. And you thought Furby was just for fun?

The London-based author of the robot-industry primer Robots Unlimited, Levy insists this isn't sci-fi. He started this book as an oh-wow academic conference paper, which explains why the first two-thirds reads like an academic conference paper. He builds his argument laboriously, citing endless psychological studies as evidence that future humans and robots will find genuine companionship leading to bliss between the sheets.

The book's smart look at the evolution of robotics over the past century, arriving at today's lovable robot toys and humanish servants, is fascinating, but Levy requires large leaps of logic as he progresses through each step of his attraction-desire-love-sex continuum.

Starting with the basic truth that people fall in love with people, he moves to why people fall in love online, to why people love their pets, to why people love inanimate objects, etc. Then, why not people falling in love with robots? And, logically for Levy, why not people having carnal knowledge of their robot — and vice versa?

Whether you think that idea is creepy, amoral or aesthetically icky, or you think it sounds like a rollicking good time, if you don't buy it as the inevitable future, Levy considers you a flat-Earther standing in the way of progress. After all, he suggests, wouldn't an emotion-enabled, lovemaking robot programmed with the sexual know-how of the Kama Sutra be the most sophisticated sex doll ever?

Think robo-ho. Levy does. His argument for robot sex goes way beyond the "dream girl" relationship Ryan Gosling's character has with a blow-up sex doll in Lars and the Real Girl. More like Jude Law's automaton gigolo in A.I., only better.

But look, some people are willing to boink anything. Is that a good thing? Levy predicts with tomorrow's sensual robots it will be.

Pregnant Women Have the Best Sex, Better Orgasms

Few think “orgasmic” when they look at a pregnant woman in all her budding — or bulging — belly beauty. Yet pregnancy is amongst the most sensual, sexual times in a woman’s life. Unbeknownst to most of us, pregnant women often top the list of the lustfully libidinous, with many expectant mums expressing increased sexual appetite and fervor, much to their partner’s delight or bewilderment, with every ripening day.

Consider, after all, what’s going on with the hot mama’s changing form. First, the hormones of her time with child are blessing her with better skin and hair, making her feel more gorgeous than ever.

While some women, especially the toilet-bound, feel anything but sexy during their pregnancy, many are literally glowing from their expectancy, and love their bodacious body as never before.

Second, whether it’s her first or second trimester, some women experience increased sexual urges, at levels exceeding pre-pregnancy. During the second trimester in particular, many feel hot to trot for reasons far beyond their control. The vulva seems to have a mind of its own. Mother Nature is revving up a pregnant woman’s sex drive with increased vaginal lubrication, larger breasts, and increased vasocongestion (the flow of blood to the genitals) for heightened vulval sensitivity and a swollen, often to the point of aching, clitoris. A woman is literally a hot mama passion playground for her — and her partner — to enjoy.

Third, during pregnancy, a woman’s dreams may increase and become more sexual in nature. Expectant women have reported more erotic, physical, and varied dreams during pregnancy, with a lighter sleep cycle making it easier to recall the visions and her subsequent nocturnal orgasm(s). Sharing her scintillating nightly visions with her partner can make for even more sizzling real-life action, with many couples fascinated, turned on, and even amused by the thoughts being conjured up during this time.

Given her sexual metamorphosis, all of these changes add up to a much more orgasmic woman! Between feeling sexier, increased genital blood flood, greater vulval sensitivity, and unexpected fantasies, many women experience their first orgasm or multiple orgasms during this time, spontaneously or while love making. This increased ability to reach climactic heights is why many couples work to put aside any discomfort they have with the idea of sex during pregnancy.

Many couples have also learned that sex is a way to stay renewed and connected both physically and emotionally during pregnancy. This is crucial given that research has found that while relationship satisfaction tends to increase slightly during pregnancy, with many couples feeling closer, mutual happiness tends to decrease post-birth, with sexual intimacy the most vulnerable area. Couples who remain intimate, in any of its forms, up through the third trimester, report reconnecting more easily post-partum.

With mother-to-be primed for better sex, many couples have some of their most intense lovemaking experiences during pregnancy, surfacing from the experience stronger than ever. Only Mother Nature could come up with such a perfect plan.

For more information on sex during pregnancy, check out Fulbright’s co-authored book, Your Orgasmic Pregnancy: Little Sex Secrets Every Hot Mama Should Know.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

By Yvonne K. Fulbright

FOXNews

Hugh Hefner Can't Satisfy Girlfriend!

Hugh Hefner's girlfriend Kendra Wilkinson says the Playboy founder can no longer satisfy her sexually.
The 22-year-old Playmate, who is one of three of Hugh's live-in lovers, admits she has to rely on sex toys to fulfil her needs because the 81-year-old leaves her wanting more in the bedroom.

She said: "I'm 22 and still have my whole sex life ahead of me. I still have a lot of sex years ahead of me. But all girls need a vibrator!"

Kendra also confessed she is jealous of Hugh's relationship with his other girlfriend Holly Madison, and their growing closeness has left her and Hugh's third live-in lover, Bridget Marquardt, in a difficult position.

She told Britain's OK! magazine: "We all love Hef and everything, but we realise that things are starting to become more Hef and Holly. I'll be honest with you, it's kind of confusing to me how it's becoming more of Holly and Hef.

"I'm kind of confused with the way things are right now, and where we stand."

Sex Files 2007: The most stimulating health stories

The year 2007 contained plenty of eye-opening news about sex, with juicy, never-before looked-at details about who is doing it and why. It also contained some rather frightening news about sex trends, pills and vaccines. And then there were a few of those "Did someone actually spend money to fund that study?!" kind of studies.

There were lots more stories in the world of sexual health and not-so-healthy sex than this list could fit, but here's a compendium of our favourites.

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The 'Who knew?' file

Many of us were surprised to learn this past May that the human papillomavirus -- HPV, the virus that is blamed for almost all cases of cervical cancer -- can also be transmitted during oral sex. Researchers reported in the New England Journal of Medicine that the virus is a key cause of a growing rate of oropharyngeal (throat) cancer.

The study found that participants who reported having oral sex -- fellatio or cunnilingus -- with six or more partners were at the highest risk of developing throat cancer -- 8.6 times more likely.

What isn't clear is whether getting the HPV vaccine will help prevent oral cancer as well as it appears to prevent cervical cancer.

Link: Oral sex linked to throat cancer: study, May. 10, 2007

Also in the "who knew?" file, was a report in the NEJM in August that found that a lot more seniors have sex than likely any of us suspected.

The survey of more than 3,000 U.S. men and women found that more than a quarter of those up to age 85 reported having sex in the previous year.

The study did find that sex, and interest in it, fall off as people age. But the drop-off had a lot to do with a lack of a partner, especially for women. By the time they were 75 to 85, only 37 per cent of women had spouses (compared to 71 per cent of men).

The study also found that older people often have trouble with sex (such as erection and vaginal dryness problems) and that many hadn't talked to their doctor about it. But some must have gone to see their doctors because the survey also found that one out of seven men used Viagra or other substances to improve sex.

Link: Seniors having more sex than you may think: survey, Aug. 22, 2007

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The 'Duh! That's pretty obvious!' file

After exhaustively compiling for five years a list of the 237 reasons why people have sex, researchers came to the not-too-surprising conclusion that young men and women do the "horizontal hula" for pretty much the same reason: lust.

According to a peer-reviewed study in the August edition of Archives of Sexual Behavior, men and women share 20 of the top 25 reasons for having sex. While "expressing love" and "showing affection" were on the list for both men and women, they both took a back seat to the clear No. 1: "I was attracted to the person."

The authors noted that their study was conducted only among college students, when "hormones run rampant.'' They expect there would be marked differences if older groups of people were studied.

Link: Both genders agree: lust is top motivator for sex, Jul. 31, 2007

Other stories this year that made us say "Well, duh!" included a study by Ontario researchers that found that men who spend a lot of time on the Internet are much more likely to click on sexually explicit spam, unsolicited email, and pop-ups advertising sex sites.

The results of the study "suggest that males were very receptive to receiving this kind of material," the authors said, and that women showed little interest in online sexual content.

The authors speculated that those who spend a lot of time online may become desensitized to the content of such spam over time and this, in turn, may make them curious enough to explore the sites further.

The study generated a good deal of response from CTV.ca readers with one reader named "Steve" wondering: "I would like to know how much public money was spent funding this study, whose conclusions are something any 14-year-old in puberty could have told you."

Link: Men more likely to click on online sex content, Sep. 20, 2007

The 'That's a bit scary' file

Two reports this summer from the Sex Information and Education Council of Canada contained both good news and bad about teen sex.

One study found that teen pregnancy and abortion rates in Canada are at their lowest in more than a decade, dropping from 49.2 pregnancies per 1,000 in 1994 to 32.1 in 2003. But another study found an increasing rate of sexually transmitted infections (STIs), that include chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, human papillomavirus (HPV) and HIV. The chlamydia rate, for example, rose from 1,095 infections per 100,000 in 1991 to 1,379 in 2002.

Experts speculate that serial monogamy may be to blame. SIEC research co-ordinator Alex McKay says younger teens take safe sex very seriously. It's when teens get older and involved in more serious relationships that condoms are replaced with birth-control pills. And Stephanie Sersli, manager executive services at Options for Sexual Health in Vancouver, noted that once teens use oral contraception, they fail to get regularly tested for STIs.

Links: Teen pregnancy rates down but STIs rising, Jul. 19 2007

Among other scary sex news this year was a warning in the Canadian Medical Association Journal from a group of Canadian public health professionals who insisted that the universal HPV vaccination program in Canada "is premature and could have unintended negative consequences."

They noted that there are many gaps in knowledge about the vaccine, including questions about how long the vaccine will be effective; whether a booster shot will be needed in later years; and questions about the effectiveness of the vaccine when given at the same time as other immunizations.

They noted that relatively few girls aged 9 to 15 years were enrolled in the clinical trials of the vaccine, even though that's the age group that will be the priority target population for vaccination.

The editorial opened up a debate that continued all year and likely will for some to come.

Links: Experts raise worries about HPV vaccine, Aug. 1, 2007
Worries remain about HPV vaccine side effects, Sep. 11, 2007

And lastly among the scary sex health news this year were a number of recalls of so-called herbal remedies for erectile dysfunction and sexual enhancement.

Although the pills promised a blend of rare Asian ingredients, many actually contained unregulated versions of the very prescription medications they are supposed to replace.

The pills pose a serious danger to men on common heart and blood-pressure drugs called nitrates. Popping one of the pills could lead to a stroke, or even death because the combination of the nitrates and the pharmaceuticals can slow blood flow catastrophically.

Health Canada also released warnings about dozens of other so-called Chinese medicine herbal products for other ailments such as joint pain after the pills were found to contain undeclared prescription-strength medication.

Link: Herbal sex pills pose hidden dangers, Nov. 13, 2007

Updated Fri. Dec. 28 2007 8:04 AM ET

Angela Mulholland, CTV.ca News Staff

Shoppers irked by dancing vibrators

STOCKHOLM, Sweden, Dec. 24 (UPI) -- Two department stores in Stockholm have learned Swedish Christmas shoppers aren't impressed by mechanized dildo displays and self-pleasuring rabbit vibrators.

Most recently, the PUB Corp.'s Oups concept store took down a window display that featured a mannequin whacking a snow shovel on fake snow banks from which dildos and vibrators popped up at random, the Svenska Dagbladet reported.

Store manager Tommy Johansson said it was popular with tourists, but evidently not with locals.

"It's like this game you see at amusement parks, where woodpeckers pop up and you have to try to club them," he said. "It isn't meant to be taken too seriously."

In another incident late last month, the NK department store was embarrassed when a mechanical display featuring a rabbit broke, and complaints suddenly poured in that the rabbit appeared to sexually pleasuring itself.

The display was dismantled within minutes, the newspaper said.


© 2007 United Press International. All Rights Reserved.

Cindy Margolis sex marathon

Cost of coitus: Male monkeys pay for sex

Selling sex is said to be humankind's oldest profession but it may have deep evolutionary roots, according to a study into our primate cousins which found that male macaques pay for intercourse by using grooming as a currency.

Michael Gumert of Nanyang Technological University in Singapore made the discovery in a 20-month investigation into 50 long-tailed macaques in Kalimantan Tengah, Indonesia, New Scientist reports on Saturday.

On average, females had sex 1.5 times per hour.

But this rate jumped to 3.5 times per hour immediately after the female had been groomed by a male -- and her partner of choice was likely to be the hunky monkey that did the grooming.

Market forces also acted on the value of the transaction.

If there were several females in the area, the cost of buying sex would drop dramatically -- a male could "buy" a female for just eight minutes of nit-picking.

But if there were no females around, he would have to groom for up to 16 minutes before sex was offered.

The work supports the theory that biological market forces can explain social behaviour, the British weekly says.

"There is a very well-known mix of economic and mating markets in the human species itself," said Ronald Noe of France's University of Strasbourg.

"There are many examples of rich old men getting young attractive ladies."

AFP

Published: Wednesday January 2, 2008

Play Safe!

While people are understandably upset by recent announcements about lead paint in children's toys and other dangerous chemicals making their way into their kids' bedrooms, has anyone wondered what kinds of chemicals go into adult toys?

Yes, it's true: Sex toys can potentially be as hazardous to your health as a lead-painted block in the mouth of a two-year-old. Maybe even more dangerous, when you consider the electrical parts involved in many sex toys, combined with a total lack of government regulation. So what's a savvy consumer supposed to do when she hears about the latest gadget that'll get her off?

Ladies and gentlemen, you've come to the right place.

If you've ever used one before, you probably have some idea what it is you like about sex toys. Maybe you've never put it into words exactly, but there are ideas about what works and what doesn't. Batteries dying in the middle of your session? Fail! Anything that requires a manual to operate? Wrong! A long, hard plastic piece that may not be federally approved for use in children's toys, much less insertion into a sensitive area of your body? Whoa, boy!

In terms of materials, silicone and rubber are both friendly ones for sex toys to be made out of - especially when used with water-based lube. PVC, on the other hand, is not. Releasing toxins called phthalates, PVC products can potentially cause liver and kidney damage, and Greenpeace recommended they be banned from use in both sex toys and children's toys in 2006 in the European Union.

Here in North America, Realskin products (not to be confused with Cyberskin) are still made from PVC, as are any "jelly" toys. Be sure to check the label on bullet-style vibrators too, as they're often coated with jelly materials. While the Cyberskin website claims that their toys do not contain any PVC and that they are completely toxin-free, sex toy sellers Come As You Are recommend using a condom with any faux-flesh toys like Cyberskin, just in case.

If you've got a latex allergy, you should definitely beware of older sex toys that may still be on the market. Additionally, if you've already got sex toys made from latex at home, know that the material breaks down over time and is harder to clean than silicone, which may in turn give you a yeast infection - or worse.

WHAT'S IN THAT LUBE?

Aside from checking the box your toy comes in to see what the heck it's actually made of, have you thought about what's in that bottle of lube? Lots of commercially produced lubricants have chemicals whose names are difficult to pronounce, stuff you may not want to be slathering all over your nether regions. Once again, check the labels and make your own decisions, keeping in mind some of the following information:

Water-based lubes are best, since they won't react with your toys or your body parts. However, silicone-based lubes last longer since they've got no water that will eventually dry up. According to the Come As You Are website, silicone-based lubes are hypoallergenic, paraben-free and glycerin-free. Glycerin tends to cause yeast infections, while parabens tend to cause allergic reactions, hence some people's preference for silicone-based lubricants. If that wasn't confusing enough, you'll want a thicker lube for anal play, so you'll probably want a silicone-based lube, but make sure you're not using it with silicone-based toys!

As for the flavoured or warming lubricants, if you've got allergies or concerns about yeast infections, I'd stay away. Just the thought of having to directly apply a tiny droplet of a certain clitoral stimulation gel only to my clit, as the directions warn that smearing it elsewhere may cause a burning sensation, doesn't really make me want to try it, no matter how awesome it may feel. I don't exactly have a surgeon's steady hands, and I doubt most people do.

Whatever you do, I figure the best bet is to just get out there and stand in the aisles of your local sex shop or pharmacy, reading labels and asking questions of any shopkeeper nearby. The surest way to fight off potential sex toy disasters is to get as much information as possible so that you can make informed decisions. The Internet is also a fine tool for tracking down ingredient listings of products that interest you, as well as any of their ingredients' potential side effects. Now go out and play!

Laura Roberts
lroberts@hour.ca

How to have sex like a porn star

Several years ago I heard about this book by some porn star that was yet to be written: It was "How to Make Love Like A Porn Star" by Jenna Jameson. The brainchild of Judith Regan and Jameson, the book was, at first, going to be a sex guide from the most famous porn star in the whole wide world. A big hit, for sure.

At the time, I worked closely with a number of other sex educators and sexologists, and we all felt the pain when the book was announced. Here was yet another porn performer, one of those who do athletic and unsafe sex for a living, telling the world to use spit instead of lube (which Jameson did, notoriously).

The book then had, I suppose, an identity crisis; from what I heard it chewed through a couple ghostwriters, yet came out as one of the more fun, trashy, tabloid-style bios I'd read in a while. A sex guide it wasn't (phew!) but it was like a year's worth of Defamer-lite and a bag of chips, so I enjoyed it. I read it in three days.

While Exotic Erotic East ... I mean the AVN Awards, is gearing up for its expo in Las Vegas this weekend, don't you wonder what it would be like if someone really wrote that book? I mean, how to really "do it" like a porn star. It's so glamorous, and men's magazines are always trying to teach the fellas how to trick their girlfriends and wives into being more like porn stars in bed, and kids these days ... well, where else are they gonna learn about sex?

I hate to break it to you, but first, the title would be a misnomer. Porn stars don't "make love" — except maybe to the camera. They make the sex, and they get the paycheck.

Porn performers occupy the small end of the gene pool: They don't look anything like you or me, and that's why they got the job. They don't need to cuddle before or after sex, they are extremely limber and can withstand holding difficult positions under hot lights for extended periods of time. They wax their balls, asses, vulvas, chests and backs. They get surgeries you've never even heard of to plump or sculpt everything from labia to breasts to calves. They have sex with total strangers every day, and the successful ones make it look like it's not a job. Studios like local Kink.com know that what their models do is an extreme sport (and at Kink, accent on the "extreme" part), thus they treat their performers and models like Olympic athletes.

The films are edited to make it look like everyone's having a good day; there's no PMS, no periods, no birth control, no STDs (and miraculously, no safe sex!), no headaches, no farting, no meltdowns and no disabilities. The condom exception is on gay porn sets where they're handed out; in straight porn condoms are laughably optional as the pool of straight performers rely on their AIM test results as their ticket to perform.

But wait — if you have sex like a porn star, women orgasm from the slightest stimulation! Girls, want to kiss like porn star lesbians? Just lick tongues, it fools everyone. On camera, anyway.

How to be penetrated like a porn star

Dana DeArmond boiled it down for me in one succinct sentence: "Wash it and f-." Stop trying to turn me on, Dana. Vaginal douches are standard — and douching is really not good for the vagina, at all (it strips out all the helpful, protective bacteria). Sure, cleanliness is the basic wish we all have when we hook up, but for professional on-camera sex work, it's a lot more involved than taking a shower before your date. For instance, say you wake up on Sunday morning and think you might try a little anal sex with your sweetie. You get up and discreetly use the restroom and wash, maybe do a little prep with a finger and some lube to relax the muscles. It's not like porn where they're "always ready" for the baseball bat or fire hydrant to pop right in there. Right.

But if you want to do it like a porn star, how does an early Sunday morning 6-7 quart enema sound? Pretty hot, I know. (Before church! Just getting that one out of the way for the comments.) Most of us are like, "You want me to put what, where?"

Tristan Taormino politely tells us, "Each porn star has his or her own ritual to prepare for an anal scene. It usually involves a nice deep-cleaning enema either the night before or the morning of the scene. Some will also do a little "rinse" right before the scene. Some people won't eat at all until after their scene, others will only eat a light meal."

But being penetrated in porn, no matter your gender — whether it's vaginal, anal, or oral — is "bottoming." Jack Shamama from San Francisco's GayPornBlog.com, who has been on more gay porn sets than there are boobs at AVN — from the top studios to amateur and everything in between — explains the details:

"If a guy is going to bottom in a porn, they must — with no exception — douche about an hour before their scene. On every set I've ever been on, a private place is set up for the bottom to collect his thoughts and hose himself out — usually a bathroom stocked with Fleet Enemas. In (production name redacted), the producer appointed the bathroom of my hotel room to be the doucheatorium, which was both gross and inconvenient. During this time, a bottom might warm himself up with a dildo, but for the most part they're experienced at bottoming and they don't require much warming up before the scene starts filming.

More disciplined and/or self-conscious bottoms will also limit their food intake for 24 hours before their scene (which has the added bonus of making them appear slimmer on-camera). Some merely pop an Immodium. I once witnessed a group of bottoms threaten to walk off a set en-masse because craft services only served bran muffins.

As a group, gay guys tend to be a pretty self-conscious and tidy bunch so they tend to show up to a set trimmed, waxed and polished to sparkling clean. Three times I saw hygiene-related problems arise, all involving straight or 'gay for pay' performers during their initial foray into gay porn, including one very famous male star doing his first J/O for a gay studio. Sort of makes sense, since porn produced for straight men tends draw focus away from the male body, often cropping as much of it out of the frame as possible. It's embarrassing and painful for everyone involved when the director has to stop filming and send a model to the bathroom to clean up because he flashes a 'brown eye.'"

As for giving oral sex like a porn star — well, personally, before fellatio, I sing arias from Puccini, Verdi and Wagner (respectively), practice swallowing my own fist six or seven times, then I gargle with a quart (no less) of Pennzoil. Oh, and I don't eat for three days beforehand, especially not bran muffins. Or Kamut. I don't know how the porn stars do it. Think they're natural born sword swallowers? They're not. But boy, are they like oral Cirque du Soleil stars, or what?

How to f- like a porn star

Male porn performers are just like any regular guys. With unusually large penises, the ability to maintain an erection and poke things with it in weird spread-legged positions for hours, and to ejaculate copiously, with distance and target-based accuracy. In front of a camera crew who are bored and hope to get home on time, while slaving over a hot starlet who is also probably bored and hoping to get home in time for "America's Next Top Model" or her mani-pedi appointment, and waiting for the director to tell him when and where to come. Yup, it's easy. Any guy can f- like a porn star.

Jack, who apparently knows his way around Dick, informs us:

"It's rarely discussed openly, but ED meds (Viagra/Cialis/Levitra) have become de rigueur on most sets and are usually dispensed as causally as condoms and lube (I should point out that it's always up to the model whether or not to take them — I've never seen or heard of anyone being "forced" to take them). Some models rely on more drastic measures and show up to sets with Caverject — a hardcore ED treatment that pre-dates Viagra, and requires an injection directly into the penis. Caverject is extreme: it tends to cause a numb but rock-hard erection lasting as long as 10 hours. Despite some horrible side effects (and downright terrifying application!) some guys insist on using it because, unlike Viagra, they don't have to think about it — they just stay hard for hours and hours."

And you thought it was about romance?"

Violet Blue, Special to SF Gate

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Want to get healthy? Have sex

We all know that regular sex is an important part of a healthy, happy relationship, but did you know that regular sex is also an important part of a healthy, happy body? Indeed, sex is more than just a pleasurable activity — it is a big part of who we are, both emotionally and physically.

A recent Newsweek article found that regular sex has six amazing health benefits — it can increase a youthful appearance, it can promote the production of germ-fighting antibodies, it can strengthen a woman’s pelvic floor, it can burn calories, it can stabilize a woman’s menstrual cycle and it can offer natural pain relief in the form of orgasms.

While a healthy sex life can contribute to a healthy body, an unhealthy body can also contribute to an unhealthy sex life. If your sex life has been lackluster or sub-par lately, the reasons might be more obvious than you might think:

    * Poor nutrition: Fast food not only does a number on your waistline, it can also do a number on your sex life. This is particularly true as we age and reach menopause. During menopause, estrogen levels get out of whack, which causes insulin levels to increase and thyroid levels to go down. Thus, women end up eating more food and burning fewer calories, which causes weight to accumulate. Healthy food choices are imperative during this time, as is daily exercise. (Don’t forget to take advantage of Newsweek’s findings — sex is a cardiovascular exercise, so trade it in for the stationary bike and you can still burn up to 300 calories an hour!)

    * Stress: Expanded waistlines can also be due to another hormone: cortisol. Otherwise known as the stress hormone, cortisol can lead to all kinds of health problems, including excess abdominal fat. Cortisol is also a known libido-killer, so it is no wonder that sex is the last thing on your mind after a bad day at work. Exercise and meditation can decrease cortisol to a healthy level, which can improve your blood pressure and your love life. Another good way to decrease stress is to keep a “gratitude journal” — researchers have found that people who express gratitude and appreciation daily feel less stressed out than people who do not.

    * Lack of sleep: Insomnia is often a vicious cycle, beginning with a caffeine overdrive in the morning, and ending with exhaustion in the evening. Most Americans would agree that they barely have the energy for sex at the end of the day! Improve your sleeping habits — and consequently, your sex habits — by cutting back on caffeine throughout the day. Substitute your giant cup of a coffee with a small cup of tea, and snack on foods like almonds throughout the day — they give you a natural burst of energy without the sugar dip that comes from a candy bar.

      Last but not least, get the television out of your bedroom! A recent study found that the blue lights emitted from TV can disrupt sleeping patterns and restfulness throughout the entire night. And, finally, if you really just don’t have the energy for sex in the evening, make an effort to rise a little early in the morning in order to have time for sex before work.

Good health and good sex go hand-in-hand. And, since most of us are making resolutions to be healthier in 2008, it is good to know that regular intercourse is a big part of being in tip-top shape. Finally, a resolution that will be fun to keep!

Dr. Laura Berman is the director of the Berman Center in Chicago, a specialized health care facility dedicated to helping women and couples find fulfilling sex lives and enriched relationships. She is also an assistant clinical professor of OB-GYN and psychiatry at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University. She has been working as a sex educator, researcher and therapist for 18 years.

By Dr. Laura Berman
TODAYShow.com contributor
updated 1:20 p.m. ET, Mon., Jan. 14, 2008

Porn euros being passed off as real

Fake porn euro notes being sold as a gimmick in Germany are being successfully passed off as real cash.

The notes, in 300, 600 and 1,000 euro denominations have a ring of 12 hearts instead of the usual EU stars and feature hunky men and big-breasted nude women.

Instead of the word 'Euro' being printed in the corner these notes have 'Eros' - the Greek god of love.

But despite these differences - and the fact that the only large euro notes currently in circulation are 100s, 200s and 500s - police say they are being passed off as the real thing.

Cologne newsagent Bernd Friedhelm, 33, accepted one of the fake 600 euro notes from an unknown customer who bought two cartons of cigarettes and walked off with 534 euros in change.

Friedhelm said: "He told me it was a new type of note and I just figured I hadn't seen one before."

A spokesman for the Cologne police said: "You can tell straight away by looking at it that it's fake.

"There aren't even any 600 euro notes anyway. But anyone trying to pass it off as real, even as a joke, faces prosecution."

Copyright © 2008 Ananova Ltd

http://www.ananova.com

Sex toy mistaken for a bomb

A SWEDISH parking garage was blocked off after a suspicious package was found there, but upon closer inspection they discovered the bundle held a sex toy, not a bomb.

"A man found a package in a parking garage (in the southwestern city of Gothenburg). It was taped up and it was very suspicious. It was vibrating," local police spokesman said.

Police sent four patrol cars to the spot and blocked off the area before technical personnel cautiously opened the package.

"There were no explosives. Just a sex toy ... A dildo," he said.

18 January 2008
Gulf Daily News

Majority of Swedes accept same-sex marriage, report says

Stockholm - As Sweden's centre-right government is wrestling with how to draft new legislation allowing same-sex couples the right to marry, a new poll published Monday suggested strong public support for the concept. A poll commissioned by the Svenska Dagbladet newspaper suggested 71 per cent favoured allowing same-sex couples to marry, 24 per cent were against while 6 per cent were undecided or doubtful.

Polling institute Sifo polled 1,000 people during January 14 to 17.

"The proposal has convincing support but is strongly opposed by Christian Democrats," Toivo Sjoren of Sifo was quoted as saying.

Prime Minister Fredrik Reinfeldt recently said the government would draft legislation "but not this spring," despite the opposition from the Christian Democrats, one of the four parties in his coalition.

The opposition Social Democrats, Green Party and Left Party also support same-sex marriages and have indicated they were preparing their own proposal if the government does not move.

Last year, the government asked various organizations and bodies to comment on proposals to change current legislation.

A week ago, the deadline for comments ended, signalling the next phase in the legislative process.

Among the bodies that have commented on the matter was the Church of Sweden, a Lutheran church.

The central board of the church said it would accept pending changes of marriage laws that would offer same-sex unions the same legal status as traditional marriage.

However the term "marriage" should be reserved for the union between man and woman, the board - elected by the Church Assembly, the highest decision-making body in the church - said.

Same-sex couples have since 1995 been able to form a union in Sweden via registered partnership which later was amended to allow them to adopt children.

Mon, 21 Jan 2008
earthtimes.org

Oops: Phone company mixes up numbers for governor, sex line

Posted by Mike Carney at 02:35 PM/ET, January 23, 2008 in Local news
http://www.usatoday.com

Med students get more sex

A survey of more than 1000 students at Cambridge University found those studying medicine had an average of eight sexual partners in their lives so far.

Student union president Mark Fletcher told student newspaper Varsity the results came as no surprise.

“It’s obvious that the mathematicians haven’t found the winning formula yet,” Mr Fletcher said.

“But it’s good to see that doctors and nurses is still a popular game.”

The poll, which was carried out by the newspaper, found theology students had the fewest number of sexual partners with two.

Political science students had seven, while those studying history had six partners.

Those enrolled in language courses averaged five sexual partners.

But don't worry if you are not the brightest student - the survey found poor performers tended to have a higher than average number of sexual partners.

About 25 per cent of respondents said they had tried sado-masochism and 40 per cent said they had had a one-night stand, but more than 60 per cent said they had never been checked for sexually transmitted diseases.

news.com.au

January 28, 2008 11:44am

Why Most Women Prefer Chocolate To Sex

Most women would rather eat chocolate than have sex - because chocolate "never disappoints", it has been claimed. A poll by Cadbury revealed that while nearly nine in ten men would shun the sweet stuff in favour of something more saucy between the sheets, 52% of women would prefer to tuck into the sugary treat.

It quizzed more than 1,500 UK adults, and quoted one fan as saying that chocolate provides "guaranteed pleasure... Chocolate never disappoints".

Both men (57%) and women (66%) were aware that chocolate enhanced their mood.

The chocolate manufacturer highlighted research from the University of Wales, Swansea, into links between chocolate and endorphins, mood-enhancing chemicals  which produce feelings of pleasure.

Cadbury said more women than men (53% versus 38%) knew that chocolate releases endorphins.

Paul Hebblethwaite, the firm's global science director, said: "It's not just the endorphins that makes chocolate so enjoyable.

"As it melts in the mouth at body temperature, chocolate's creamy texture and unique aroma hit all of the body's senses, heightening the sensuality of the experience."

The region which would generally rather get their kicks from chocolate than sex is the East of England (40%).

Most Londoners prefer sex, the highest of any region at 79%.

 

news.sky.com

Updated:05:50, Tuesday June 05, 2007

New York will recognize and honor same-sex unions and marriages from elsewhere

Although lesbian and gay citizens of New York cannot marry, those who marry elsewhere in the world will be supported by the state.

According to The New York Times:

"...the appellate court in Rochester held that a gay couple’s 2004 marriage in Canada must be respected under the state’s longstanding marriage recognition rule..."

Filed by the New York Civil Liberties Union, it's the first appellate court decision in New York - and the first known decision in the country - to hold that the state must recognize a same-sex union certified elsewhere.

The case, Martinez v. County of Monroe, was filed in 2005 in State Supreme Court on behalf of Patricia Martinez , an employee of Monroe Community College in Rochester, seeking health care benefits for her female partner whom she married in Canada in 2004.

“This is a victory for families, it’s a victory for fairness and it’s a victory for human rights,” said Donna Lieberman, executive director of the N.Y.C.L.U. “Congratulations to all same-sex couples validly married outside of New York State: You are now husband and husband, wife and wife. Now we need to work toward a New York where you don’t have to cross state or country lines to get married.”

February 3, 2008
proudparenting.com

Cyber-sex stimulating hi-tech development

Surfers seeking sexual thrills are helping to inspire new and innovative technologies, according to a cyber-sex expert from the University of Portsmouth.

Dr Trudy Barber, an expert on cyberspace and sexual subcultures, made the claim during the Royal Society of Medicine's Sexual Pleasures conference this week.

Fetishism and sexual deviation are helping to change the way people use new technology, according to Dr Barber, and can even influence the invention of new technologies.

"People are inspired by their own sexual inclinations which results in some innovative uses of technology," she said.

"Nothing shocks me now, although I'm frequently surprised at how ingenious people are in order to obtain sexual satisfaction."

Dr Barber, who lectures on media studies, cyber-cultures and social theory at Portsmouth's School of Creative Arts and Media, defines cyber-sex as "computer mediated sexual contact" or "technologically mediated intimacy".

This can include anything from phone sex to someone using an attachment connected to a personal computer through which others in cyber-space can provide sexual pleasure.

"Computer technology touches so many aspects of our lives that it is really not so surprising that it infiltrates and influences our sex lives," said Dr Barber.

"In contemporary Western society sex is for pleasure and for entertainment and computers will have an increasing role to play."

Dr Barber's research took her to sites such as Second Life, where she found people quick to adopt sexual practices from their regular lives into their online personas.

"The role of deviation as a key to innovation must not be overlooked as it will contribute to our understanding of new intimacy, culture and the future of developing information and communications technologies," she concluded.

Written by Ian Williams
vnunet.com, 05 Feb 2008

Heal your sex life with heels

LONDON: The sight of stilettos may shoot up a man's libido. But, if a study is to be believed, wearing the high-heel shoes can boost a woman's sexual desire.

Researchers in Italy have found that wearing higher heels actually improves a woman's pelvic floor muscles, thereby boosting her sex life.

"Women often have difficulty in carrying out the right exercises for the pelvic zone and wearing heels could be the solution. It's good to know they have potential health benefits," according to lead researcher Dr Maria Cerruto.

Cerruto, a urologist at the University of Verona, said that she conducted her tests because she wished to tackle "bizarre" non-scientific theories blaming high heels for a range of ills, including schizophrenia.

During the study, the researcher studied 66 volunteers aged under 50 and measured the electrical activity in the pelvic muscles of the women. She discovered that women who held their feet at a 15-degree angle to the ground, the equivalent of a 7cm heel, showed up to 15% less electrical activity in their pelvic muscles.

The research, to be reported in the journal European Urology , involved measuring electrical activity in the pelvic muscles of women when they held their feet at different angles.

The results suggest the muscles are more relaxed when women wear higher heels, increasing their strength and ability to contract.

"Women often find it difficult to complete their exercises. This may prove a solution," Cerruto said.

"As a woman who loves heeled shoes, I tried to find something healthy in them. In the end I achieved my goal. Heels affect pelvic floor activity, reducing pain and improving your health. We now hope to prove that wearing heels during daily activity may reduce the need for pelvic exercises," Times Online quoted Cerruto as saying.

However, Gill Brook, a women's health physiotherapist in Britain, stressed the study did not suggest that stilettos were a good thing for those keen on improving their pelvic floor function.

"But for women who like a slightly higher heel, these are reassuring findings - although we haven't yet done away with the need for regular exercises to maintain what is such an important part of the female body," the BBC News portal quoted her as saying.

Matt Roberts, a personal trainer whose clients have included Madonna, Naomi Camp-bell, Natalie Imbruglia, Mel C and John Galliano, said: "A woman wearing high heels will hold the muscles tight to compensate. When you are standing on tiptoes you have to clench the buttocks, the inner thighs and the pelvic floor muscles. It would potentially give them a short-term tension and toning. But the negative effects can outweigh the positive."

He added: "The knees and metatarsals are put under strain, the hips are out of position. It can lead to long-term health risks."

The pelvic floor muscles are an essential component of the female body. As well as assisting sexual performance and satisfaction, they provide vital support to the pelvic organs, which include the bladder, bowels and uterus.

But they often weaken after pregnancy and childbirth, and as the woman gets older. An official guide to better sex, provided by UK's NHS Direct , advises women to become more aware of their "pleasure muscles" - pelvic floor muscles - and advises them how to exercise them to aid sexual arousal. The NHS recommends that women, particularly before and after pregnancy, should do pelvic floor exercises up to five times a day.

High heels have been a fashion item since the 1600s but over the past 50 years they have been blamed for a variety of health problems ranging from bunions, stress fractures and knee pain to an increased risk of arthritis.

7 Feb 2008, 0305 hrs IST , AGENCIES
The Times of India

Hiss, boo, bah: Sex workers' art show raises southern ruckus

The Sex Workers' Art Show — an "eye-popping evening of visual and performance art created by people who work in the sex industry" — has been touring cities and campuses nationwide the past month without much ado.

Making sex toys in Happy Valley

Mark Ricketts, 37, and his wife, Susan Donald, 35, are the most unlikely couple to be making sex toys for a living. Wholesome is the word that springs to mind upon meeting the former Welsh sheep farmer, who immigrated here six years ago, and his soft-spoken wife, a Montreal native.

Their Happy Valley company, run out of their 200-year-old farmhouse outside of Peterborough, Ont., is the leading manufacturer of silicone sex toys -- butt plugs, dildos and vibrators -- in Canada.

Their profession came as a surprise to neighbour Thomas Aitken when he first met the young couple from up the road. They had come knocking about a pottery wheel he had for sale. The couple was coy about what they wanted it for, but Mr. Aitken, a potter himself, says he didn't think much of it at the time.

Many people in the rural area about two hours from Toronto make their living commuting to the General Motors plant in nearby Oshawa. And just as many run some sort of business out of their homes. There are furniture makers and other artisans in the area, even one of the few bassoon repairmen in the world.

It wasn't until Mr. Aitken spotted a curious-looking plaster molding at the pair's 40-hectare farm a few months later that he figured out what they were up to.

"I thought they were this young couple trying to get on their feet. They had this old farmhouse. They had this cat," Mr. Aitken recalls. "And then all of sudden you walk into this room full of dildos."

Much like the current consumer revolt against cheap Asian plastics used in products like water bottles and children's toys, there is a trend in the sex-toy trade away from dodgy manufacturers and materials, according to Sarah Forbes-Roberts, an owner of Toronto's Come As You Are, a boutique sex shop,

"Our customers are certainly a lot better informed than they were 10 years ago," she says. "People are asking more questions and they want to know what products are made out of and how they're going to work."

Many of her customers have turned to glass or naturally sealed wood dildos, even metal vibrators as an alternative to cheaply made plastics models from China. But silicone is by far the most popular alternative to plastic because of its skin-like feel and non-toxic nature.

You can even put silicone sex toys in the dishwasher, Mr. Ricketts says.

But silicone is difficult to source and hard to mechanize and manipulate, so there are only a handful of small sex toy manufacturers in the United States, Britain, Germany and Australia using it. That has created quite a demand for Happy Valley's sex toys.

The company produces 25 different toys sold in boutique sex shops across Canada, the United States, Europe and Japan. The couple makes up to 50 a day in their farmhouse studio, selling a couple hundred a week, and their silicone toys command a premium price.

"It took customers a little while to get to the point where, rather than spending $20 on a rubber dildo, they will spend $70 on a silicone one," Ms. Forbes-Roberts says. "It's because the quality is so much better."

The couple acknowledges accidentally falling into the business after a particularly bleak first winter on their farm in 2002. In order to supplement their living, Mr. Ricketts, who also has a background in carpentry, began making wood cutting boards that he sold at local farmer's markets.

The region where the pair lives and works is typical of most rural Ontario communities, with Country Style doughnut shops and snowmobile tracks lining the highways. But nearby Peterborough is also home to the fetish shop Leatherbeaten, one of North America's premier makers of hand-crafted whips, floggers and leather spanking paddles, and Black Kat Enterprises, which at one point published the S&M magazine Whiplash, and now puts on the travelling trade show Sexapalooza.

"One of the people I was talking to about my chopping boards very discreetly asked what other kind of wood work I would be willing to attempt," recalls Mr. Ricketts. "I found out what they wanted was some paddles," he says.

Making the ash paddles for fetish play was just another job to him, though not nearly as lucrative as he had hoped. "I was making them too high quality, spending too much time making them and not charging enough money," he says. "I was steadily driving myself into poverty."

Through his new customers, he and his wife spotted a hole in the Canadian market for silicone sex toys.

The couple spent the better part of a year teaching themselves how to work with silicone, trying to source the best materials and to come up with their own designs, which they say strive to strike a balance between beauty and functionality.

Ms. Donald had a fine arts background and had worked with pottery, clay and wax in the past. So sculpting a phallus for a sex toy was an easy transition.

Demand is now so strong for Happy Valley's products that the couple is having trouble keeping up.

"If we wanted to put the time and the effort in, we could be very rich within five years, but the other aspects of our lives would suffer," Mr. Ricketts says. "We're not millionaires, but we're not starving."

On a recent visit to their farmhouse, the couple were just as quick to show off their flock of sheep and their pedigree goats as they were to show off their sex toys. And they have become fixtures in their rural community, despite what they do for a living.

"It's a good thing to make a living at something you're proud of, and making something that makes people happy," says Mr. Ricketts.

Scott Deveau, Financial Post   
Published: Monday, February 11, 2008

The foods of love

Can You Use Sex Toys in More Than One Relationship?



Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for four months, and we're crazy about each other. He's been slowly introducing me to butt play. Last night, we were verbally playing out an anal scenario. He asked if I'd be OK using a strap-on with him, to which I replied, "Of course!" Then he said that he had a harness and dildo in the closet. I balked. This brought up two specific issues for me.

(1) What is good sex-toy etiquette? Can you use sex toys in one relationship and then in the next one? Also, when I've been with women, it was NOT OK to reuse sex toys. They died with the relationship. Is it different with heteros?

(2) Can you recycle sex toys with your recycling like you would other plastic products?

He said he'd be happy to buy new sex toys if it bothers me so much. But we're both eco-friendly and don't want to cause a lot of waste. —Willing To Bend Over Boyfriend

A. "Lesbian sex-toy etiquette is pretty clear," says Claire Cavanah. "Dildos and harnesses don't survive the breakup."

Cavanah is the co-founder of Babeland, a woman-owned, totally righteous, continent-spanning sex-toy colossus, and a lesbian herself, and I typically defer to her on matters of lesbian sex-toy etiquette. But when asked why sex toys have to be discarded after a lesbian breakup, Claire could only offer this dyke-ass mumbo-jumbo: "A lesbian couple's dildos become suffused with the energy of the sex in the relationship and end up symbolizing the sexual connection the poor doomed couple had. They belong to the relationship."

Like I said, I'm going to defer to Claire. But it's interesting that lesbian dildos become fatally suffused with the energy of failed lesbian relationships and therefore must be discarded, but lesbian hairstyles do not. Moving on . . .

"In the straight world," Claire continues, "there's a whole lot less attachment to specific toys, so reusing a dildo and harness is probably more common and acceptable."

So, should you suck it up and use your boyfriend's dirty ol' sex toys? Of course not, says the owner of a sex-toy shop.

"WTBOB, trained in the lesbian tradition, needs to speak up and get new toys," says Claire. "You love this guy, and you want to give him every inch of YOUR love," not the love someone else banged his ass with, "so go get a new rig."

How best to dispose of the old rig?

"Treehugger.com says that silicone and latex are recyclable," says Claire, "but that doesn't mean you can toss your old dildos into your plastics bin and expect them to live again in the form of a park bench. You'd have to summon all your courage and take them to a special facility." Most people won't do that, says Claire, "so most toys end up as landfill."

If you can't bring yourself to hand over those old dildos at a special silicone- and-latex recycling facility, WTBOB, and the thought of your boyfriend's used sex toys clogging your local landfill upsets you, perhaps you should mail them to Kandiss Crone at WLBT 3 News in Jackson, Mississippi.

Crone is a teeveenewz reporter in a state where it's against the law to sell sex toys. Twice last year, the Jackson Police Department busted a local sex shop, Adult Video and Books, for the crime of selling "three-dimensional devices." But those busts didn't put a stop to Jackson's three-dimensional-device crime wave, it seems, because recently Ms. Crone got a hot tip: Adult Video and Books was back in the three-dimensional-device business!

To protect the citizens of Jackson from the imminent threat of three-dimensional devices (we wouldn't want the smoking gun to take the form of a mushroom-headed dildo), Crone went undercover for a very special "3 on Your Side" investigative report. Crone slipped into Adult Video and Books—in disguise, lest she be recognized—and purchased a purple vibrator. Then Crone went back in with a camera crew and confronted the store's owner. And since no teeveenewz report about crime is complete without a statement from the authorities, Crone asked the Jackson Police Department for a comment. "The adult store is not a priority for our vice and narcotics officers," the Jackson Police Department said in a statement. "Citizens would rather see us using our resources to get drugs and prostitutes off our streets and work to decrease violent crime." (No word from the JPD on why it used to be a priority.)

Police negligence! The books are full of deeply silly, sex-phobic laws that are rarely enforced, of course, because cops have better things to do than bust people for the "crime" of selling vibrators to teeveenewz reporters. But when an enterprising teeveenewz reporter goes to all the trouble of conducting an undercover operation to get a dangerous purple vibrator off the streets, why, the least the police can do is arrest the culprits! And provide that enterprising teeveenewz reporter with some B-roll footage of the cops hauling the store's owner away in handcuffs!

Now, cynical readers might assume that Ms. Crone, like so many other teeveenewz reporters, was using sex to attract viewers and then exonerating herself and her viewers for their salaciousness by persecuting the owner of the sex-toy shop. And some cynical readers might argue that Ms. Crone is only pretending to be scandalized because she's a sophisticated, professional, modern woman, and like many sophisticated, professional, modern women, Ms. Crone is likely to have owned and operated a sex toy or two. And if Ms. Crone hasn't, then certainly other folks at WLBT—management, anchors, other reporters, editors, cameramen, sound techs—have used three-dimensional devices. They're all grownups, right?

Some will want to believe all that about Ms. Crone and WLBT because that would prove that Ms. Crone and everyone else at WLBT are hypocrites for going on the teevee and playing to the prejudices of small-minded, sex-negative assholes while at the same time making folks who do use sex toys—or sell them, or work in places that do—feel ashamed of themselves.

But I don't like to think ill of people. I'm certain that Ms. Crone and the whole gang at WLBT in Jackson, Mississippi, sincerely believe that sex toys are a threat to the health, safety, and morals of the general public. As that's the case, I'm certain Ms. Crone would be only too delighted to receive your boyfriend's old sex toys in the mail, WTBOB, and used sex toys belonging to other Savage Love readers. Ms. Crone would, no doubt, take great satisfaction in personally disposing of all the dangerous three-dimensional devices she could get her hands on. So, ship those old sex toys to: Kandiss Crone, c/o WLBT 3 News, 715 South Jefferson Street, Jackson, Mississippi, 39201. Don't have a sex toy to dispose of? E-mail Kandiss at kandiss@wlbt.net and let her know what a great job she's doing for the community.

Deep Inside the World of Porn

Porn has been threatening to go mainstream for quite some time now. Time magazine warned of it all the way back in 1998. But this year, they have finally achieved their much heralded objective. The Adult Video News (AVN) Awards, considered by most to be the Oscars of porn, were covered this year by the CBS program, Sunday Morning. Sunday Morning! If you aren't familiar with the show that's probably because it's a news magazine program watched exclusively by people over 60. Not to knock Sunday Morning or Bill Geist's humorous report; I just use this to highlight that if my grandmother knows who Tera Patrick is, porn has most definitely arrived.

Preceding the yearly AVN Awards is the yearly AVN Adult Entertainment Exposition, known to most as the Porn Convention, but to insiders as the AEE. Originally a small subsection of their annual neighboring convention, the Consumer Electronics Show, the AEE grew large enough that AVN had to step in and start an independent expo. According to the show guide, this changeover happened in 1998, but don't expect most people to remember that date. The porn industry is historically very fuzzy with numbers. AVN reported that in the year 2000, revenue from sales and rentals of adult videos topped four billion dollars, but that number has never been independently confirmed. An article in Forbes from 2001 quotes Adams Media Research as giving $1.8 billion a year as a "most generous" estimate. For comparison, Adams estimated the yearly mainstream video market at $20 billion in 2001.

But in the seven years since that report, porn has exploded. With the combination of high-speed internet, bit torrent technology and a pop-culturizing of the adult film industry, porn is more accepted than ever. Jenna Jameson graces best-selling book covers, Ryan Gosling dates sex dolls in adorable romantic comedies and the famed million-dollar porn movie, "Pirates," has become a bona fide cultural touchstone for millions of college students. But the world of porn is still a mystery to most, and offensive to many. The AEE is a perfect place to explore the inherent dichotomies of this industry. Men in suits offer contracts to women in platform heels and skimpy outfits. Note that no nudity is allowed at the AEE. Well, no "real" nudity. Fans waiting in line to meet their favorite stars can watch the women perform all manner of sex acts on the hundreds of flat screens populating the convention floor, but if her nipple slips out of that low-cut top while she's leaning in to sign an autograph, she could be hit with a big fine.

The AEE isn't all boobs in booths, though. There's plenty of business going on at the convention, too. Sex shop managers wander the AEE perusing all the new video titles ("Pirates 2" coming soon!), the newest video camera technology and exercise balls with attachable sex toys. What the AEE offers to people who work in porn is an invaluable business resource and a sense of legitimacy in an oft-derided industry. What it offers to everyone else is total sensory overload: thousands of people milling around the booths with telephoto-lensed cameras hoping to close-ups of their favorite stars, performers eating lunch while wearing naught but panties and pasties and booths offering everything from tooth whitening to 3-D televisions. Words, even photos, cannot do justice to the overwhelming nature of the porn convention.

Abbywinters.com

Guilt free porn? Maybe not, but there is something different about Abbywinters.com. Their booth was certainly the surprise hit of the 2008 AEE. In stark contrast to the heavily made-up, tarty porn stars at most booths, Abbywinters.com took a simple, stripped-down approach. A dozen or so girls wandered around a sloping, Astroturfed area smack in the middle of the convention, wearing jeans with white T-shirts and/or bras. They eagerly and enthusiastically engaged fans in conversation or games of speed chess. At the same time the girls weren't afraid to start snogging halfway through a yoga session. The entire experience felt somewhat like an after-hours party on the set of "Teletubbies," with all the cute girls from your Writing 1 class-if all the girls in your class were Australian. It wasn't just the booth, but the product they were promoting that was in stark contrast to what ruled the rest of the convention. Marigold, a long time model and speed chess fiend, describes it best. "Abby Winters.com is an Australian adult Web site with young natural amateur Aussies having fun in our own environment, usually in our own homes in our own rooms in our own clothes no makeup, full bush, everything natural and real." And then of course there's the fact that there are no boys. While this site certainly isn't a clean alternative to porn, there's something refreshing about seeing girls actually enjoy themselves in a natural environment while they explore their voyeuristic side.

High Tech Sex Toys

From the OhMiBod, the vibrator that pulses along with your Ipod to the Fleshlight, a flashlight-shaped, dishwasher-safe device men can pleasure themselves with, sex toys are becoming high tech and a big business. The inflatable woman has evolved into the silicone sex doll with realistic flesh and customizable features. The simple vibrator now comes with the option of remote controls and various attachments to enhance pleasure. Many blend form with function, attaining a modern artistic sensibility or successfully disguising themselves as normal household items. My personal favorite was presented to me by a Taiwanese man who spoke little English. The business end of the device seemed like any motorized dildo, one with a substantial base that can thrust itself. But then he showed me the electronic brain behind this ersatz phallus: a silver briefcase filled with dozens of lights and knobs. It seemed to be the sex toy of choice for James Bond. Despite its retro appeal, the toy seemed to feature too many functions. But Pussy Galore would have loved it.

XXXChurch.com

Billing themselves as the number one Christian porn Web site, xxxchurch.com actually features no porn whatsoever. "People ask if we have naked nuns; sorry no porn," founder Craig Gross jokes. "We want to help people that are struggling with porn. We don't want to shut it down, we don't want to picket it, we don't want to get in a fight. If you look at too much porn and want help, we're here. If you look at just a little porn and you want help, we're here." For just over six years (the church celebrated its birthday during the convention) xxxchurch.com has been offering services to people who want out of the industry. Their agenda is not political, and not even aggressively religious. They hand out Bibles emblazoned with their motto, "Jesus Loves Porn Stars," at porn shows around the world. "Right wing Christians are saying, 'Lets make everyone do things our way. Lets take (porn) out of hotels. Lets ban it. Just stop buying it.'" Gross isn't exactly porn friendly, ("God's plan for sex is a beautiful thing, but we've twisted it,") but he is porn star friendly ("Jesus loves porn stars just as much as he loves pastors"). He tries to focus on letting women know that they don't need to accept pornography if they don't feel comfortable with it. "So many girls on college campuses, now, are into porn. I don't think they're as visually turned on as the guys but they think they need that to get the guy."


Brad Stitt
February 13 2008
studlife.com

Selling Sex Toys Now Legal In Texas

Feeling lonely in the Lone Star State this Valentine's Day? You'll be glad to know that the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals has just overturned a statute outlawing sex toy sales in Texas.

According to a law on the books since the 1970s, the sale, promotion, donation or lending of "obscene devices" was punishable by up to two years in jail. And all it took to "promote" was a goodie drawer of six or more.

The statute was seldom enforced. But the owners of two Austin sex shops, as well as a retail distributor doing business as Adam & Eve, claimed it hindered their business and deprived potential customers. The state argued that it had a moral basis for maintaining the law, "discouraging prurient interests in autonomous sex and the pursuit of sexual gratification unrelated to procreation."

The 5th Circuit, however, found that sexual privacy supersedes that morality. The court cited Lawrence v. Texas, the 2003 U.S. Supreme Court decision that struck down bans on consensual sex between same-sex couples. The 5th Circuit, siding 2-1, said it is unconstitutional to punish individuals selling sexual devices, since those devices are typically used in the privacy of people's homes.

Alabama and Mississippi now remain the only states where sales of sex toys is illegal, though several other states have restrictions. The defenders of those laws say it would be dangerous to make sex toys more easily accessible. They note that sexual addiction is a recognized mental disorder, and they worry that sex toys may encourage that.

So has Texas opened up a Pandora's box here? Or has the Lone Star State simply opened its mind?

By Emil Steiner  
February 14, 2008; 10:30 AM ET
washingtonpost.com

If it's great sex you want, it may be time to pray

A FLYER promising "the best sex you'll ever have" wouldn't normally lead straight to church, but that's the invitation 25,000 households around Eltham and Montmorency received last week.

Last night Riverside Church launched a four-week series on sex, marriage, adultery and pornography.

The flyer features two pairs of feet — belonging to Riverside pastor Andrew Newbold and his wife Megan — protruding from under the sheets. It says sex is supposed to be fun, so why does it feel like everyone else is having all the fun? It's not supposed to leave you feeling guilty, frustrated or empty.

"Lots of people have asked, 'why would the church want to talk about sex in the first place?' That's a ridiculous question because everyone else is talking about it, and it's something God created," Mr Newbold says.

"At Riverside we deal mostly with young adults, who have been more exposed to sexuality than any previous generation, but that doesn't mean they are handling it well. There's a lot of confusion out there."

He rattles off statistics: people are having sex younger, with an average age of 15.8 years at first encounter, and relationships are getting shorter, at an average of three months. The largest consumers of internet pornography are children aged 12 to 17.

In America, he says, 90% of eight to 16-year-olds have viewed online pornography, 80% of that hardcore. One in six Australian men has paid for sex, while 26% of women and 8% of men say they have been forced or frightened into unwanted sexual activity.

So a teaching series on sex is needed, Mr Newbold says. Last night he talked about the link between human sexuality and God, next week deals with affairs and adultery — "how to affair-proof your marriage, because it doesn't begin when you book a hotel room," he says — week three is on sex and singles, and week four asks what's the big deal about pornography.

Riverside Church, launched five years ago in Montmorency with a congregation of 16, now attracts about 350 people to its Sunday service.

Previous teaching series have dealt with relationship baggage, identity and finances. The next, later in the year, is on secrets.

Barney Zwartz
February 18, 2008
theage.com.au

Pastor tells flock to have sex - every day

A Florida church leader is challenging married members of his congregation to have sex every day for a month.

The challenge for single parishioners is slightly different, though - to abstain from sex for 30 days, reports Sky News.

Paul Wirth, head pastor of the Relevant Church in Ybor City, said the marathon undertaking could help cut high divorce rates.

He said: "Couples across America are struggling in their relationships, both married and single people.

"For married people it seems like the sex is great up front but then for some reason life happens.

"But when you're single it's like you're always thinking about it and you're like, man I'd like to have it as much as possible.

"And sometimes that prevents them from having a great really healthy relationship later on when you do get married."

The Relevant Church describes itself as "a casual, contemporary Christian church" and says its services are designed "specifically for urban professionals and young families".

Mr Wirth's previous sermons have included using hit film Shrek The Third to explain "what happens when we trust God".

February 19, 2008
ananova.com

New York condoms, Texas dildos: When sex toys are legal and contraceptives are free, are we not doomed?

Is it a good day in America? Is it a good time to be in this broke, disgraced, sexually bewildered country when the lumbering and lost state of Texas finally crawls, lurching and sputtering and blinking hard, into the 19th century as it finally, against its will, is forced by the courts to allow sex toys to be sold to adults, thus leaving only Alabama and a bit of Georgia to stare into the void of their own unused genitalia and scream in abject terror?

Is it, furthermore, a better and brighter day for all Americakind when the lumbering and lost Federal Communications Commission still wants to fine ABC Television $1.4 million for showing a glimpse of a naked female butt on an episode of the now-defunct "NYPD Blue" five years ago, even though all the little kids who were ostensibly traumatized by said ass are now about 12 years old and into ultraviolent video games and hooking up on MySpace and choking each other to death, and the FCC's move is not considered a distressing, dire prediction of oppressive things to come, but rather a forgettable trifle, a shrug, a silly little footnote?

Is it not, finally, good to know that you now can, when in New York City, stroll into any number of bars or fine urban locales and grab yourself a free, official NYC condom or five, and also a nice packet of lubricant, all on the city's dime?

And what's more, not only are they complimentary and available citywide, and not only is there an impressive accompanying ad campaign for the second year of the groundbreaking program (TV, print, subway billboards, Web site) hawking said latex fun-sheaths and encouraging you to "get some," but the packaging is actually created by a semi-famous industrial designer (Yves Béhar) and the campaign itself actually isn't insulting or shy or demeaning as it dares to suggest that young adult Americans might actually enjoy sex and therefore, oh my God, wouldn't it be fun to get some today? The horror.

I am here to say yes, yes indeed, it is all quite good, refreshing, even a little promising, even if you don't really notice, even if it all seems minor and insignificant, overshadowed by looming recessions and lost wars and the bleak, bleak, bleak BushCo End of Days.

See, there was a time, just a handful of miserable years ago, when it all felt dour and sad and pathetic, when John "anoint my feet in oil" Ashcroft ruled the porn-obsessed Justice Department and worthless abstinence education was being forced down the throat of the educational system and the fundamentalist Christians were stabbing at the culture like unhappy vultures tearing at a carcass.

It was a time when major media was eating its own tail in fear of getting fined for allowing the slightest illicit or sexually suggestive infraction, as Michael Powell's Bush-controlled FCC went on the warpath, behaving like some sort of gnarled sexually uptight Megatron who hated women and never masturbated, desperate to crack down on the slightest naughty infraction, from Bono saying "f-" at the Golden Globes to Howard Stern talking dirty to porn stars for the benefit of his audience of overweight frat guys and lonely cab drivers.

It was quite a ride. From Ashcroft covering the nipples of Lady Justice with heavy cloth to the massive, insane outcry against Janet Jackson, it all culminated in 2005, in the Republican-controlled Congress ramming through the inane Broadcast Decency Enforcement Act, which increased tenfold the penalty the FCC could impose on broadcast media, to $325,000 per violation.

But now, oh, now how quaint it all seems, the Bush administration's dark and sexually repressive cloud actually proving to be nothing but a sticky mist, a passing pink puff of rancid gas, so many of the fundie Christians/congressmen proving to be secretly gay and the nation itself proving very quickly to be rather sick of the entire gaggle of Jesus-terrified henchmen.

What's more, the FCC's ominous threats suddenly feel moot and meaningless, especially given the upsurge of shows like "The L-Word" and "Californication" and "Tell Me You Love Me" and who the hell cares if they can show nipples and butts on network TV? The landscape is changing, far faster and more powerfully than any hypocritical conservative movement could ever comprehend, much less contain.

The signs are in place. The tone is shifting. Despite a misogynistic Supreme Court, despite the Christian right's desperate attempt to instill Taliban-grade prohibitions and constrictions around sex for the past seven years (well, more like 2,000 years. But that's another column), Texans can now buy dildos to go with their Sunday sodomy, condoms and lube are free all over New York City, abstinence education has proven to be a massive failure and the flatulent bout of Christian-led sexual hysteria has, at least for the moment, largely passed.

Oh, there will still be blips and triggers. There will still be Christian rock and "True Love Waits" and cute little Web sites extolling the virtues of teen virginity, of making nifty little pledges not to have sex until you're married and/or no longer a Republican or no longer absolutely horrified at the notion of your own vulva.

And yes, broadcast media will remain terribly uptight for a while longer. There will still be, for example, the producers of this year's bland-as-death Grammy Awards, who actually asked Amy Winehouse to please cover up the nipples on the bare-breasted pinup girl she has tattooed on her arm because some Americans might be confused and offended. (In response, Winehouse simply took some black eyeliner and drew a nice "bra" over the nipples, and middle America breathed a huge sigh of relief because oh my God, nipples. Our great national scourge.)

What's more, many issues remain volatile. The gay marriage war, for example, is far from over, though it now seems the most difficult battle has been won. The hull has been breached. The rainbow-colored cat is very much out of the bag. Wail as the fundamentalists might, the feeling now is that gay marriage — like women's suffrage, like interracial marriage, like the notion of a black or female president — is no longer a matter of if, only when.

This is the feeling. The straps are loosening. The legs are parting. The repressive sexual ideology of the right has, quite naturally, failed. So please, America, go buy your dildos in Texas and grab your free condoms in NYC, safe in the knowledge that the temperature of the national body, once frigid and clenched, appears to be warming up.

Can you feel it? Won't you do the right thing, and "get some" yourself?

By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
www.sfgate.com

Is Ricky Really a Sex Offender?

Germans discover world's oldest dildo

German scientists are tickled pink after unearthing one of the world's oldest sculpted phalluses - 20cm of polished siltstone lovingly created around 28,000 years ago.

The stone schlong was discovered in Hohle Fels Cave near Ulm, Swabia, by a Tübingen University team. Professor Nicholas Conard, from the university's snappily-named department of Early Prehistory and Quaternary Ecology, explained the excitment to the BBC thus: "Female representations with highly accentuated sexual attributes are very well documented at many sites, but male representations are very, very rare."

Indeed, although other examples of male genitalia - from France and Morocco - predate the Ulm member, to have "any representation of male genitalia from this time period is highly unusual".

There may be a good reason for this - the German sausage bears the scars of having been used to knap flints, and was reassembled from 14 fragments. Despite this abuse, and in a delicious leap of imagination, Conard speculates that the life-size member may have been used as a prehistoric sex toy. As he suggestively notes: "It's highly polished."

Those interested in the sex lives of our distant ancestors will be able to cop an eyeful of the Hohle Fels phallus when it goes on show at a Blaubeuren prehistoric museum exhibition entitled "Ice Art - Clearly Male". ®

originally reported  27th July 2005

Lester Haines
theregister.co.uk

Report: Physical Therapy May Alleviate Painful Sex for Women

In a time when sex is no longer a taboo subject, many women are harboring a secret — they suffer from chronic pain due to sexual intercourse, according to ABC News.

It is reported that at any given point, about 16 percent of women are experiencing pain due to sexual intercourse, said Dr. Elizabeth Stewart, director of the Vulvovaginal Service at Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates and an associate professor at Harvard Medical School who wrote “The V Book” on the subject.

These women report “a stinging, a stretching,” or feel “like it’s ripping you apart,” after having intercourse, ABC News reported.

Even the best gynecologists are struggling to find answers as to why chronic sexual pain persists.

However, physical therapy could be the answer to a woman’s painful problem, according to the report.

Raquel Perlis, a physical therapist based in Wellesley, Mass., treats 10 women a day for this very problem, it is reported.

Her patients and their partners learn how to stretch and massage their pelvic floor muscles. Another form of therapy that Perlis uses includes biofeedback.

February 25, 2008
FoxNews.com

Mac owners officially sexier than Windows

Computer users argue over many statistics, but when it comes to sex toys: Mac users spend more on adult recreation than Windows users; but it's Linux users that invest the most in enhancing the pleasures of the flesh, an adult toys website claims.

Adult toy seller Lovehoney has published its Google Analytics logs, which show the system platform preferences of its sensation-seeking customer base.

As reported by Reg Hardware: "Mac users spent an average of five minutes 56 seconds on the site, just ahead of Linux users' five minutes 16 seconds and Windows folks' five minutes 14 seconds."

The report claims Linux users spend on average £48.55 when they shop on the site, Mac users £40.38 and Windows users £35.90. iPhone users are also reportedly purchasing hanky-panky products using their device, spending slighly less than Windows users do on average, £34.59. iPod touch users spend £31.76.

This report into the sexual significance of operating systems emerges scant days since the publication of new research from the University of Portsmouth.

Cybersex expert Dr Trudy Barber (who doesn't reveal which OS she uses) earlier this week delivered a Royal Society lecture during which she disclosed that fetishism and sexual proclivities are helping change the way people use technology.

Dr Barber, an expert on cyberspace and sexual subcultures, has spent years researching how people's sexual choices help shape new technology, including the internet, which she likens to the development of video players which brought pornographic films into the home in the late 1970s.

"Computer technology touches so many aspects of our lives it's really not so surprising that it would infiltrate and influence our sex lives. In contemporary western society sex is for pleasure and for entertainment and computers will have an increasing role to play," she said.

She observes: "The role of deviation as a key to innovation must not be overlooked as it will contribute to our understanding of new intimacy, culture and the future of developing information and communications technologies."

Wednesday, 06 February 2008
Jonny Evans
MacWorld.co.uk

How Do I Dump a Submissive Who Does My Dishes and Gives Me Blowjobs?

Q: At first glance, I am the guy your mother wants you to marry: successful, sweet, clean-shaven. Below the surface, I am the guy your mother warned you about: pierced tongue, tattoos, a ton of kinks. A couple of months ago, I met a woman who wanted to be a sex slave. We talked about relationship expectations, and because of a few deal-breakers—she is older than me, she has kids from a past marriage, our career goals differ—we said that this wasn't going anywhere beyond a temporary fling. Now she comes to my house a couple of times a week, puts on lingerie, blows me, does my dishes, blows me, gets tied up/spanked, picks up my dirty laundry, blows me again, and then leaves. Needless to say, I am quite happy with the situation.

Now I have met a great woman whom I like, and am looking to start a "normal" relationship with (read: still hot kinky sex, just no need for her to crawl on all fours when she enters my house, as fun as that is to watch). She has been hurt before and wants to spend a long time "getting to know each other" before we move toward anything physical. We have both acknowledged that we are interested in pursuing a relationship, just not yet. Given my situation, i.e., all those blowjobs from the submissive, I have no problems waiting as long as girlfriend material wants before we start something physical.

My question is on dom/sub slave etiquette. Assuming that things with this new woman work out, at what point should I break up with my sub? Should I tell her about the other woman? Should I tell her in advance we are ending ("Your next visit will be our last"), or should I just ask her to come over and break up then ("We both knew this was only going to last so long")? Do I help her find a new dom? This isn't a regular breakup, so I'm not really sure how to do it. My sub loves to serve, so would it be cheating on my next girlfriend if I let her keep doing domestic tasks for me, but nothing sexual? Should I tell my next girlfriend that I had a sex slave for a while? —Deciding On Method

A: Hmm. My mother never warned me about guys with piercings, tattoos, or kinks. My mother did, however, warn me about guys who think a hidden tattoo or a discreet piercing somehow makes them more interesting than they actually are. "Those guys are always douchebags," my mother used to say. Still does. But, hey, my mom isn't the guest expert you need.

"The fact that you're having a dominant/submissive relationship with this older woman is immaterial," says Mistress Matisse, a pro dom, expert flogger, and prolific blogger (mistressmatisse.blogspot.com). "It's an intimate sexual relationship, so forget d/s in your handling of this. It's clear that you'd be happy to continue on with them both, at least for a while, so the question is more polyamory skills than BDSM etiquette."

So what does Matisse think you should do? "Tell both women exactly what's going on, immediately," Matisse continues. "Your girlfriend-to-be wants to get to know you? Well, if she can't handle the fact that you've been having a d/s relationship, you better find that out now. Her response will certainly give you a clue as to how kinky your future sex life with her might be. But full disclosure, pronto, is best. Anyone who has been 'hurt before' is apt to be touchy about discovering perceived dishonesty down the road." And what about your sub? "Your submissive is also deserving of your honesty," says Matisse. "She may decide she wants to end your relationship, or she may be willing to continue in a nonsexual arrangement if that's offered her. If you are extremely lucky, your submissive and your GF-to-be may decide they can co-exist in some fashion, at least for now. God knows I've dated men who really needed someone to pick up after them, and I sure as hell wasn't going to do it."

And how does one properly break up with a submissive, if it comes to that?

"Make a date with your submissive and respectfully inform her that you are ending the relationship," says Matisse. "Wish her well and say goodbye—no last blowjobs for the road. And do not offer to find her a new dominant—trust me, she'll have no trouble at all finding another dominant to accept an arrangement like the one you've described."

Sex Toys at Spencer's

DURHAM (WTVD) -- A story about morality at the mall. Local parents are upset that a chain of stores is selling sexually provocative items at malls all over the Triangle.

Parents are so fired up, they've gone to the Attorney General, police and now Troubleshooter Diane Wilson. This isn't just one parent outraged, it's literally dozens and they're on a mission to keep adult items out of the reach of their children.

The stores in question are Spencer's Gifts. It's a national chain that's always been a bit edgy. When you go to Spencer's you know you'll find gag gifts, whoopee cushions and things you wouldn't find anywhere else in the mall. But things have changed. Spencer's now sell sex games, sex manuals even sex toys. Jay Peters is one of the upset parents. He tells Troubleshooter Diane Wilson, "To know that he can walk into Spencer's and buy something like this is very alarming." These parents were so fired up actually brought us a bag full of sexual items that they say they bought at Spencer's. Carol Shepard says, "I went in to see for myself and it was disgusting." She adds she was in a local Spencer's a year-and-a-half ago and witnessed two teens buying an oral sex enhancer. She says she was so offended she confronted the clerk. She says, "I said would you sell these to young kids and he said oh yeah the only thing we can't sell them is lighter fluid." Laura Hall says she got the shock of her life when she and her kids went in to buy a gag gift for her husband's birthday. She adds, "My 11 year old walked up with a sex toy and asked what it was."

Some of these parents have been on this crusade for more than two years. They even took a video camera in to a local store to document just how graphic they say some of the stuff is. When they tried to post it on YouTube to educate others, it got flagged as inappropriate and restricted to people 18 and older. Virginia Dirschl adds, "So the question to me is how is this to the YouTube standards pornographic but in our town of Durham, NC is it ok?" Some of these parents even took their fight to the Attorney General's office and police, but say they got nowhere. Will Hodges says, "I think there's laws out there. There's clearly a law of what's pornographic or not, it's just the enforcement of it. It just seems like this falls between a crack if they AG won't address it, and the police force won't address it unless there's a victim."

So we decided to see for ourselves. With their parents' consent, we sent three girls ages 13 and 14 into the Spencer's at Durham's Northgate Mall. The girls were armed with a hidden camera to see what they could buy. The girls checked out sexually explicit greeting cards and they played with a necklace made of beads and toy penises. They even picked up a phallic-shaped cup. Then, they went to check out the selection of vibrators and other sex toys. A sales person asked them if they were 18. When they answered no, she said you can't be back here. But when they went to check out, they had no problem buying three things many would consider adult items. They were able to buy a penis neckalce, a birthday card with a pop up penis inside and 'also Boinkin' Bunnies. The "Boinkin' Bunnies are two toy rabbits that vibrate, moan, and simulate sex. On the box it says 'For Adults Only' and 'ages 18+' right on the box. These girls were only 13 & 14.

To be fair to Spencer's, we sent different teens to a different mall to see what they could buy. This time, our undercover subjects were boys ages 15 and 16. With their parents' okay they went to the Spencer's at Durham's Streets at Southpoint. The boys roamed the store freely checking out explicit items including the selection of dozens of vibrators. But, when they went to buy the vibrator and a sex game the clerk asked if the boys were 18. When they said no, she said they can't buy them. Unlike the girls, they left with nothing.

This is a small consolation for the parents who don't think the kids should even be able to see them or pick them up in the first place. Lynne Mourman says "They need to put it behind the counter, where they have to ask for it, where they can't look at it, where they have to show id, we consider it pornographic items that should be sold to people who are over the age of 18." The parents are happy that the first clerk confronted the girls, and the second clerk denied the boys. But they still can't believe the kids were able to see what they saw, touch what they touched and in the girls' case, buy what they bought. They say they don't have a problem with Spencer's selling adult items, they just think they should only admit 18 and older like other adult stores in the triangle. They say they won't stop fighting until that happens.

As for Spencer's Gifts, they responded to Troubleshooter Diane Wilson with this statement.

"Since 1947, Spencer's has been committed to creating an exciting, entertaining and unique store experience for our core 18 to 24 year-old guests. Within our broad, eclectic mix of merchandise, a small percentage has an adult theme and has been available in Spencer's for decades. By policy, Spencer's management and associates have had an obligation and responsibility to the community to discourage the sale of items with an adult theme to persons under the age of majority. Spencer's understands its obligation to maintain an environment of trust appropriate for the over one hundred million guests annually who patronize our six hundred stores nationwide. In every location, Spencer's informs its guests, before entering that a small portion of adult-themed merchandise is on display in the rear of the store. In this way, Spencer's will continue in its sixty-year tradition as the authentic destination for fun, humor and unique merchandise targeted to our core 18 to 24 year-old guests, while respecting the interests of all individuals who visit our stores."

By Diane Wilson
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
abc11.com

'100 000 Years of Sex' opens in Germany

Trier, Germany - Erotic carvings and excavated Roman artefacts connected to sex will go on display on Saturday in Germany's best-preserved ancient Roman city, Trier.

The temporary exhibition, 100 000 Years of Sex, comprises 250 items, mainly archaeological.

They date back to the Stone Age and show how our ancestors experienced lust and procreation, said Mechthild Neyses-Eiden, deputy director of the museum.

Devised in the Netherlands and first mounted in 2003 in another museum, the exhibition is being supplemented at the Rhenish Museum in Trier with about 50 local Roman-period artefacts recovered by archaeologists.

Trier - called Treveris by the Romans - has several well-preserved buildings, such as a town gate, an arena and a church, from the time when it was a principal northern city of the late Roman empire.

The original exhibition includes primitive objects representing feminine charms, explicit pictures on Greek vases, a medieval chastity belt and an 1813 item described as the world's oldest condom.

The show, inaugurated with a party on Thursday evening, runs from Saturday till June 22. It will be repeated for the last time in the German city of Heilbronn in July 2009.

Neyses-Eiden said it was important to study past attitudes to sex in a neutral way. She said the show illustrated how different historical periods had differing attitudes.

"Things we regard as normal now were regarded as revolting in medieval times," she said. Referring to child sex, she noted that some things allowed among the Greeks were taboo or illegal nowadays. - Sapa-dpa

February 29 2008
www.iol.co.za

A Not-So Scientific Study on Spanking and Sex

Spanking Kids Increases Risk Of Sexual Problems As Adults.

Spanking Children Causes Sexual Problems Later in Life.

Researchers have uncovered another damaging consequence of spanking: risky sexual behaviors, or even sexual deviancy, when the child grows up.

Those are three headlines about a new study by long-time spanking opponent Murray Straus. All are nonsense.Straus’s study, which does not appear to be available yet but which is described at the links, surveyed "14,000 university students in 32 nations."The basic finding is that survey responses about being spanked in childhood are correlated with verbally and physically coercing someone into having sex as an adult.

Need I shout it from the rooftops?Correlation does not imply causation!

Here is a simple alternative explanation of the data.Bad kids are spanked a lot.Bad kids turn into bad adults.

I bet MR readers can suggest several other explanations as well.In addition, there are a number of other oddities with the study including some which lend support to my potential alternative explanation, I’ll mention a few of these in the extension.

By the way, I’m not a proponent of spanking.

Here are some more oddities about the study.According to this report:

"the study found that 29 percent of the male and 21 percent of the female students had verbally coerced sex from another person....The percentages of those who physically forced sex were much lower: 1.7 percentof the men and 1.2 percent of the women...."

Don’t these percentages seem very high? Especially for the women?

And get this,

"Straus found that 15 percent of the men and 13 percent of the women had insisted on sex without a condom at least once in the past year.

Using the four-step corporal punishment scale, Straus found that of the group with the lowest score on the corporal punishment scale, 12.5 percent had insisted on unprotected sex. In contrast, 25 percent of students in the highest corporal punishment group engaged in this type of risky sex."

13 percent of the women insisted that the man not use a condom?

More importantly, I believe that there is a causal connection between child abuse (rather than spanking) and later problems of violence but to me a connection between the kid being spanked and later engaging in risky sex is especially suggestive that the connection is a risk-loving person.Children who take a lot of risks, like running out on to the street a lot, are going to get spanked more.Later these same children also engage in risky activities.Not having seen the data I would be willing to bet that spanking is also correlated with skydiving, not wearing your seatbelt, gambling, and many other risky behaviors which are plausible not caused by spanking.

Finally, how about this for a non-sequiter of the day:

"because over 90 percent of U.S. parents spank toddlers, the potential benefits for prevention of sexual and relationship violence is large,” Straus says."

March 3, 2008
http://www.agoravox.com

More Japanese cutting out the middleman with dating sims and sex toys

"Sex is just way too much trouble," a 35-year-old man tells Shukan Asahi (3/7), confessing that ever since he used a masturbation aid at age 19 he's never wanted to be with a woman again. "As long as I have a sex toy available, I don't need women. I can't come when I have sex, and you've got to put a lot of emotion into dealing with women. Self-pleasure is a hell of lot less demanding than trying to please somebody else."

Young Japanese are becoming mixed up about sex. Just a few years ago, people worried that the young were developing a practical enjoyment of sex at too early an age, now they're getting steamed up because growing numbers of youths are showing little or no interest in the subject.

"There has been a definite increase in the number of men showing signs of vaginal ejaculation dysfunction disorder, which includes such afflictions as premature and delayed ejaculation. There are physical reasons believed to be behind this, including prejudice against women, past trauma and overuse of masturbatory aids so that a vagina is unable to provide sufficient stimulation," Dr. Tsuneo Akaeda, head of the Akaeda Clinic in Tokyo's Roppongi entertainment district, tells Shukan Asahi.

"Some of the masturbation aids coming out nowadays are absolutely incredible. Guys become used to using these and there is no doubt that many men are unable to obtain the necessary satisfaction from a female vagina that they need to ejaculate."

At least the do-it-yourself handymen, so to speak, are showing some interest in the pleasures of the flesh. Figures from the Japanese Association for Sex Education, which has been surveying students at schools and universities nationwide on an annual basis since 1974, show that there has been a dramatic decrease among young Japanese people's interest in sex since 1999.

"That was the year by which just about every Japanese home had a personal computer and nearly all students had their own mobile phones. With young people dramatically increasing their use of these two pieces of equipment, it led to the bipolarization of their sexual activity," Nario Kaneko, head of the association's secretariat tells Shukan Asahi, noting that those who favored mobile phones tended to be more outgoing and sexually adventurous, while people who pounded away at a mouse and keyboard in front of a monitor were withdrawn and less sexually active.

Perhaps that has inspired the massive popularity of "otome" games, role-playing dating simulation games for women where the object is to win the heart of the computer-generated man they desire. Otome games occupied seven of the top 20 best-selling computer software game titles in Japan last year.

"Otome games are more than enough when it comes to love," one 21-year-old woman says. "I've already decided I'm never going to have sex in my life. I do like watching dirty stuff, though. I've studied adult movies and erotica, so I know about the kind of sex that pleases guys."

Some guys, though, can't be pleased by any sort of sex at all. Take the Zenkoku Dotei Rengo (Japan Cherry Boy Union). It was formed in the watershed year of 1999 by a small group of virgin men who wanted to join together to find effective techniques they could use to lose their virginity. Membership has swelled since then to over 600. But the dynamics of the group have changed, with divisions arising among the rank-and-file among those who are actively pursuing sex and the "conservative faction" whose members advocate a kind of "Cherry Boy Power" and militantly advocate lifelong chastity.

One such member can relate to the women driving otome games to the top of the software hit charts.

"Games are magnificent when it comes to love," the 30-year-old militant virgin tells Shukan Asahi. "The characters are all beautiful and have great bodies. Their voices are sexy, they're kind and gentle and show plenty of understanding. And they never hurt you. I'd say that when it comes to looks, at least, you can't beat the world of virtual reality. Some people say that love in the two-dimensional computer world is all about imagination and misguided dreams, but isn't that what love in the real world is all about, too?"

March 4, 2008
Ryann Connell
http://mdn.mainichi.jp/

 

Short sex is best say experts

THE best sex should last just seven to 13 minutes, and even three-minute sex is "adequate", sex experts say.

But Australian sex therapists commenting on the new research say most men Down Under wanted it to last considerably longer while most women were "not bothered" if it was over with fast.

The sex study is the first to review what the experts believe is the ideal length of time to have penetrative sex, with the random sample of Americans and Canadians labelling seven to 13 minutes most "desirable".

Intercourse lasting between three and seven minutes was deemed "adequate", but anything less was "too short" and beyond 13 minutes was "too long".

The study, published today in the international Journal of Sexual Medicine, is designed help calm couples' unrealistic beliefs that healthy sex should last a long time.

US studies show Americans expect penetrative sex to last between 15 and 20 minutes, even though self reports indicate it is over in less than half this time.

Lead researcher Dr Eric Corty, from the Behrend College in Erie, Pennsylvania, said this was a situation "ripe for disappointment and dissatisfaction".

"In the fantasy model of male sexuality, men have large penises, rock-hard erections, and can sustain sexual activity all night long," Dr Corty wrote.

"It appears that many men and women hold this fantasy.

"The results from the present study, by providing a realistic not a fantasy model of sexuality, are useful both in treating people with sexual concerns and dysfunctions, and, with wider circulation, in preventing the onset of sexual dysfunctions."

Dr Jane Howard, a Brisbane-based medical sex therapist, said there was a dearth of data on Australians' expectation of sex.

Anecdotal evidence suggested most Australian women would be happy with the therapists' "adequate" time of three to seven minutes, while men would not.

"There is a major gender difference in this area," Dr Howard said.

"Usually women are quite happy with short intercourse, and are not bothered about prolonging it at all, but nearly all men want it to be much, much longer."

She said it was important not to obsess over the length of intercourse, with time often suspended during the act anyway.

"I mean really, who's counting?" the expert said.

March 05, 2008
http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun

Not all Marys are virgins — Christian sex toys

A gem of a find on NPR: Book22.com

This site specializes in “marital aids” for Christian couples hoping to avoid all the other smut that goes along with shopping for vibrators and ticklers and whatnot, either in stores or online.

So now you can buy a “Screaming O” jelly ring or a “Tongue Dinger” under a banner head quoting Song of Solomon, “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.”

Here’s a link to NPR’s story.

What about equally devout Muslims or Buddhists who don’t want to sort through “Facial Blast Fiasco” to get to their wholesome dildo?

In India, the Hindus don’t seem too happy with sex toys at all. A condom called the Crezendo, which vibrates, has attracted the wrath and scorn of public officials.

Crezendos, released nationwide six months ago, advertise themselves as “your passport to the Republic of Pleasure”, promising “a 20-minute joyride through the realms of vibrating pleasure”.

“Condoms should be used for family planning,” said Kailash Vijayvargiya, the public works minister for Madhya Pradesh, which is governed by the Hindu nationalist Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP). These are sex toys to be used for sexual satisfaction,” he told The Times. “I’ve instructed government officers to check if there is a law against such things. If there isn’t a law, we’ll make one.”

Muslims seem to say no too. But men can poke their slaves.

QUESTION

    Is the usage of sex toys (i.e. replicas of men’s & women’s genitalia, etc.) between a man and his wife considered to be permissible? [1]

    ANSWER by Shaykh Wasee Allaah ‘Abbaas, lecturer at the Ka’bah, instructor at Umm Al-Quraa University in Makkah

    The woman has no need for such a plastic device, so long as she has her husband with her, and I really do not understand exactly how such a thing would be “used” between spouses!

    Anyway, it is not permissible for anyone to engage in sexual activity in other than the ways allowed in the Sharee’ah. Since it is not permissible for either of the two spouses to reach an orgasm using their own hand, so then how could such devices be permissible?!

    The principle to be applied here is what is found in Allaah’s Statement [2]:

    ( And those who guard their chastity well, except with their wives and their right hands’ possessions (slaves), there is no blame upon them. And whoever seeks beyond that, then they are the transgressors. )

And definitely don’t name your sex toys after Mohammed …

Furious Muslims have blasted adult shop Ann Summers for selling a blow-up male doll called MUSTAFA SHAG.

They complained that the novelty sex toy insults the Prophet Muhammad � who also has the title al-Mustafa.

The High Street chain�s jokey £15 mustachioed doll has a 7in manhood and is targeted at hen parties.

Talk about intolerance! At least our fundamentalist evangelicals are alright with a little hanky-panky. But again, toys and bible verses? Is it still taking the Lord’s name in vain if you yell “Oh God?”

March 6, 2008
http://truffulaseed.ccpblogs.com

Doing dull chores could improve sex life, US experts say

WASHINGTON (AFP) — American men have doubled the amount of housework they do and may be having better sex because of it, experts have told AFP.

"By and large, the more men do around the house, the happier women are," sociologist Scott Coltrane of the University of California, Riverside, a co-author of a report published in synopsis form on the website of the Council of Contemporary Families (CCF) said late Thursday.

"When men do more of the housework, women's perceptions of fairness and marital satisfaction rise and the couple experience less marital conflict," the report says.

The reward for menfolk who help out around the house could be more sex.

"We sociologists generally don't go there, but therapists say there's a direct correlation" between men doing more housework and the frequency of sex, said Coltrane.

In a comment posted on the CCF website, psychologist Joshua Coleman agreed that sharing household chores "is associated with higher levels of marital satisfaction -- and sometimes more sex, too!"

"Wives report greater feelings of sexual interest and affection for husbands who participate in housework," Coleman, who is a senior fellow at the CCF, said.

In addition to doing more boring chores around the home, American men spend three times more time with their kids today than they did in 1960, the study said.

The time women spend with their children has doubled, it said, speculating that both mothers and fathers have set higher parenting standards for themselves.

But all that time spent parenting could have a negative effect on a couple's intimate relationship.

"The increase in parenting hours on the part of both husbands and wives may pose some threats to the couple relationship since many couples have increased their time with their children by eliminating or greatly reducing time for romance," Coleman wrote.

Happily, though, the phenomenon of men chipping in around the home appears to be global, Coltrane said, citing work by co-author Oriel Sullivan, a woman, who is a professor of sociology at Ben Gurion University in Israel.

"Men everywhere are doing more," said Coltrane.

"Even Italian men and Spanish men are doing more ... not huge amounts but more than they used to," he said.

The report praised American couples for the "remarkable progress" they have made in sharing out the responsibilities of working and family care.

Even if men still lag far behind women in terms of what they do around the house, they are moving in the right direction and the gains are unlikely to be reversed, the report summarized.

"Men are still only doing half as much as women do, but we see the bar inching up and we think the process is irreversible," said Coltrane.

The hard-earned gains have been made in spite of the poor social support system for working families in the United States, the report said.

"The US guarantees no paid leave for mothers in any segment of the work force, leaving it in the company of only Lesotho, Liberia, Papua New Guinea, and Swaziland," the report said, referencing a study published last month.

The full report on men and women sharing household tasks is to be presented at the CCF's annual conference next month in Chicago.

March 7, 2007
AFP

Half of UK men would swap sex for 50 inch TV

LONDON (Reuters Life!) - Nearly half of British men surveyed would give up sex for six months in return for a 50-inch plasma TV, a survey -- perhaps unsurprisingly carried out for a firm selling televisions -- said on Friday.

Electrical retailer Comet surveyed 2,000 Britons, asking them what they would give up for a large television, one of the latest consumer "must-haves."

The firm found 47 percent of men would give up sex for half a year, compared to just over a third of women.

"It seems that size really does matter more for men than women," the firm said.

A quarter of people said they would give up smoking, with roughly the same proportion willing to give up chocolate.

(Reporting by Peter Apps, editing by Paul Casciato)
Reuters

Britney Spears Has A Dildo-Fanatic Stalker

Britney Spears has all the luck. Not only is she rich and in possession of all her marbles, but now a stranger keeps sending her parcels full of dildos too, the lucky cow.

It's been reported that Britney Spears has somehow managed to pick herself up a stalker. Not just any stalker either, but one who keeps sending her packages of sex toys, threatening porno letters and mutilated pictures of himself squirting an unidentified yellow liquid into his mouth.

The details of Britney Spears' alleged stalker have now been passed on to the FBI, which seems like an odd thing to do. After all, he sounds like a better catch than Kevin Federline.

Stalkers aren't normally known for their good judgement - call us old fashioned but we wouldn't employ someone if they handed us a CV with 'throwing bags of screwdrivers over John Cusack's fence' or 'composing songs about the time I fucked Alec Baldwin in his ass' in the Hobbies And Interests categories. Because, really, John Cusack and Alec Baldwin? That's just weird.

But stalking Britney Spears? Actually, we can see that. After all, Britney Spears isn't just vulnerable to the point where she needs psychiatric evaluation these days, she's also got a proven history of having sex with creepy people that follow her around all the time. And when you're a stalker, that's just an unbeatable combination.

So it's no surprise that Britney Spears has apparently picked herself up a stalker. And, as stalkers go, Britney Spears' one seems like quite the generous chap. Rather than constantly trying to run the object of his affection over, or hand-drawing pictures of them digging his grave while he walks along a knife, Britney Spears' stalker keeps sending him all the mechanical sex aids she could ever wish for. OK! reports:

"It started about six weeks ago with just letters being sent once a week," a source who has seen the packages reveals to OK!. "And then it quickly escalated to larger packages that now arrive two to three times a week — always to the same L.A. address, but never to one of Britney's homes… The first thing you see when you open the box is a huge, lavender-colored, battery-operated sex toy," the source tells OK!. "Still with the price tag on it." And alongside the mechanical apparatus are two letters — one handwritten and one written on a computer — both threatening and pornographic in nature.

See? That's how you know it's real love - when a stalker sends you a dildo and keeps the price tag on it. If we were stalking Britney Spears, we'd want her to know exactly how much we were spending on nightmarish, oddly-coloured dildos to win her over, too. 

Not that Britney Spears has seen any of this, that it. In her fragile state, a box with a massive vibrator in it is the last thing she needs to see. Instead, the stalker's packages are being sent to the FBI, who shouldn't have a very difficult job in tracing him because a) he's sent a photo of himself and b) he's also politely included a return address on all the parcels. Which we can all agree is jolly lovely of him.

But even if those details weren't included in the parcels, it wouldn't have been too hard to identify Britney Spears' stalker. Apparently the letters he sent Britney were angry, incomprehensible, full of threats and written entirely in capital letters.

March 10th, 2008
Stuart Heritage
http://www.hecklerspray.com

1 in 4 teen girls in U.S. infected with an STD

The first U.S. national study of four common sexually transmitted diseases among girls and young women has found that one in four are infected with at least one of the diseases, American health officials reported yesterday.

Among those who admitted having sex, the rate was even more disturbing – 40 per cent had an STD, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention which released the results yesterday as part of the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey.

The overall STD rate among the 838 girls aged 14 to 19 in the study was 26 per cent, which translates to more than 3 million girls in the United States.

Some experts suggested the high figures might be a reflection of abstinence-only sex education – a funding priority for the George W. Bush administration – as well as teens' own sense of invulnerability.

Nora Gelperin, who works with the teen-written website sexetc.org., said the "alarming" numbers reflect "the sad state of sex education in our country."

March 12, 2008
New York Times
Associated Press

David and Victoria Beckham stock up on sex toys

David and Victoria Beckham stocked up on sex toys after visiting a sex store at the weekend.

The couple visited the Pleasure Chest adult superstore in Hollywood, where they reportedly bought massage oil, personal lubricant, a Cyberskin vibrator, a leather braided cane and a padded black collar and restraint.

A source told British newspaper The Sun: “David grabbed a small shopping basket and stocked up on some goods. Victoria was very vocal, cracking jokes constantly.

“They seemed to know exactly what they wanted and after asking an assistant where items were, they grabbed what they came for.”

By Owen Williams
Mar 13 2008
Showbiz Spy

Finally, Dutch say animal sex illegal

Sex with animals and making "animal pornography" now carries a penalty of up to six months jail.

Current Dutch law only forbids bestiality when animals are found to have been mistreated.

The pro-business VVD party and the Party for the Animals opposed the Bill but voted in favour anyway.

March 15, 2008
news.com.au

Woman avoids jail for sex toy assault

A young woman has narrowly avoided a jail sentence today for trying to sodomise an Australian Army trooper with a sex toy.

District Court judge William Groves accepted that Nicola Clunies-Ross, 21, had been acting under the control of violent former boyfriend Peter Gurdulic, who was also charged but later committed suicide.

Miss Clunies-Ross was jailed for 2½ years but the sentence was suspended.

After a trial earlier this year, Miss Clunies-Ross was convicted of depriving the trooper of his liberty, attempting to sexually penetrate him with a sex toy and assaulting him by punching him.

The offences occurred in her East Perth flat in October 2006.

Evidence was given that she and Mr Gurdulic, who was also in the army, lived together in Darwin.

But when he was sent away on a course, she started a relationship with the 20-year-old trooper.

Roy Gibson
17th March 2008
thewest.com.au

Kristin Davis Sex Tape Scandal?

Kristin Davis has reportedly been snapped in her very own celebrity sex tape.

The pictures have spread like wire fire across the internet, adding to speculation that the brunette in the video is Kristin Davis.

The so called sex tape alledgedly captures the alleged Sex (Tape) And The City star in a somewhat of a private act'!

Undeniably the brunette in the photos holds a remarkable resemblance to Davis, who plays the quiet and innocent Charlotte in Sex In The City.

Kristin has denied claims that she features in the video. ‘This is not a photo of Kristin Davis,’ a rep for the actress told OK!. ‘ There is no sex tape.’

However the whole stunt is rumoured to be a marketing ploy for the up and coming Sex and City movie, which is due to hit cinemas in May.

Good news for Kristin, bad news for those who thought Kristin would join the other Sex Tape celebrities Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian and Pamela Anderson.

March 18, 2007
mtv.co.uk

Girls, Girls, Girls: Are We Done With The Sex Scandals Yet?

Has it gotten to the point with all these sex scandals that we just can't imagine the news without them? Last Monday, with front pages on Hillary Clinton and New York's noisiest neighborhoods seems like ages ago. But are we starting to get a case of sex-scandal fatigue? If you looked at the front pages of the Post and the Daily News, you'd think not, but the subway freebies amNY and Metro New York have clearly moved on.

The Daily News's problem today is that it has an embarrassment of riches. Juan Gonzalez's exclusive interview with Gov. Paterson that ran yesterday means that the tabloid needs to follow up with the sex scandal. Unfortunately this pushes their coverage of the Nixzmary Brown verdict off the front page. It's a shame because the News has been dogged about covering this tragedy, and it probably would have made page one on a "regular" news day. The only papers to put the manslaughter conviction of Cesar Rodriguez on the front were the Metro and Spanish-language paper Hoy.

The News dedicates pages 8 and 9 to the case, including a story outlining how the News has covered this case since the beginning, from its investigation into how the city's child-welfare system failed young Nixzmary to the trial. Columnist Jane Ridley's piece outlines her argument for why Rodriguez deserves the maximum sentence for his conviction. Ridley also tears into the jurors for bringing "injustice" by not convicting Rodriguez of murder. Scott Shifrel, Mike Jaccarino and Tracy Connor's roundup of the verdict includes the info that a lawyer on the jury led the vote against the murder charge. The Post has a short story on the verdict on page 15 with an accompanying photo of community activist Awilda Cordero holding a picture of the little girl, looking forlorn.

So, instead of Nixzmary's face on the front page, we get more Gov. Paterson and his "GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS!" ( Post) and "THE OTHER WOMAN" ( Daily News). You've got to give it to the News for their little knee-slapper in the subhed, "New gov's ex-girlfriend works for the state's Office of Intergovernmental Affairs ( Boy, you can say that again!). That's something my dad would tack on to a comment about this scandal. It's an awesome "old-man" joke.

What is interesting here, though, is that both papers have different women on their front pages. The Post has Olympic gold-medalist Diane Dixon, who claims that Paterson got her a state job after they became friends. She also claims to have secret recordings of her and Paterson, yet maintains that she and Paterson were just friends. Frederic U. Dicker's story on Dixon includes illustrations of the e-mails she sent the Post and paints her as someone who wants it both ways: to have insider info on the new governor, but supposedly not really wanting to have her name in the papers. (It doesn't help her case that she seems really "posed" in the accompanying photos by Post photog Spencer A. Burnett.) Much of the coverage of the Paterson "GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS!" scandal in the Post reads like the paper is just salivating at the potential of Joe Bruno being sworn in as governor should Paterson have to resign. Oh, and Andrea Peyser? Will you please stop it with the TGI Friday's references to Jim McGreevey? They are incredibly nauseating to read first thing in the morning.

The other woman in the News' coverage is Lila Kirton, who is the director of community affairs in the aforementioned Office of Intergovernmental Affairs. (You can say that again!) While the Post skirts around the resignation issue, the News has a "man-on-the-street" story asking if Paterson should resign. A few said he should, including a reader pictured on page 4. Paterson's "stunning frankness" is commended by Juan Gonzalez in his column today, where he notes that the governor "was more forthcoming than any politician I've interviewed in 30 years."

Oh, and just when you think it's over, Post gossip columnist Cindy Adams today hints that another sex scandal is about to break, albeit one not in New York. Her coy blind item reads like when a teenage girl is keeping a secret from her best friend, in that annoying, "I know more, but I can't share it, but I'll try to get you to tease it out of me" kind of way.

Meanwhile, some presidential candidate gave a speech about race. Barack Obama's bound-for-the-history-books speech on race in America might have gotten front-page play any other day of the week (and it did, on the Metro), but we're too concerned with what our current governor did in his bedroom a few years back. (And yes, I get the hypocrisy of only bringing up the Obama speech this low in the column) Mike Lupica of the News calls the speech "one for the ages." Charles Hurt's column in the Post is confusing at best, as he claims that Obama broke through the racial barrier "with the deft silence of a cat springing onto a sunny windowsill" and includes the nice dig of "It's how a black man with a Muslim name managed to roll up massive victories in blindingly white Kansas and Nebraska and Idaho and Iowa." Did you really have to bring up the "Muslim" name?

In other news Both papers report that Ashley Alexandra Dupre appeared in Girls Gone Wild when she was 18. Remember her? Girl seems like old news at this point.

The News has an exclusive on a female cabbie whose pals thwarted an attack against her. Neeru Singh was chatting on her cell with two friends when her fare tried to mug her. The pals called 911 and other cabbies fled to the scene. And you thought your cabbie was only chatting about when he was getting home?

Oops! The Daily News reports that the Post's front-page story on Tiger Woods $65 million Hamptons home purchase is false. The buyer wishes to remain anonymous, but the realtor says it is not Woods.

Oh, and finally, today marks the 5-year anniversary of the start of the Iraq War. Neither of the major tabloids mentions it in their news sections. You'll have to grab a copy of amNY for that.

Heather Muse
March 19, 2008
http://blogs.villagevoice.com

It's not just sex: A look at why the oldest profession is still flourishing

High-definition pornography is a mouse click away. Assignations with multiple partners are advertised on Craig's List. And if celebrities are any indication, underwear is strictly optional.

Sex, it seems, is everywhere. It's on the Internet, in chat rooms, in "Girls Gone Wild" buses and hotel rooms and governors' mansions. It's come a long way from darkened peep shows and plain brown wrappers.

So in this hyper-sexualized time, one might wonder: What's the point of going through the elaborate, illegal and stigmatized motions of hiring a prostitute?

Eliot Spitzer's alleged choice to partake in "the hobby," as men who solicit prostitutes call it, cost him his governor's seat. Why will some men risk everything for secret trysts with sex workers?

The answer may seem obvious, but experts say it's not just about easy sex. Some might be drawn to adventure. Some are attracted to the level of secrecy they think will come with a paid prostitute. Others are looking for a sense of control.

"It could say that they don't know how to be intimate," says Bev Smallwood, a psychologist in Hattiesburg, Miss. "It could say that they have a sexual addiction, that they have become desensitized to sex within a more appropriate context and they're seeking one more thrill of the chase."

For some "clients," there's a rush in knowing you're doing something you're not supposed to do, experts say.

"There is an appeal to colouring outside the lines," says Smallwood. "Certainly (Spitzer) was a risk-taker or he never would've gotten where he got in life. ... But sometimes the thrill of that risk can be extremely destructive."

The difference between merely enjoying sex and having an unhealthy obsession with it is that with addiction, a person pursues something he wants despite the extremely damaging consequences that can come with it, says Smallwood, who wrote, "This Wasn't Supposed to Happen to Me: 10 Make-or-Break Choices When Life Steals Your Dreams and Rocks Your World."

"We all have temptations, but people who are more responsible or conscientious look at a temptation and see it for what it is," she says.

Men who use prostitutes might be drawn to the position of power it can afford in the sexual encounter, according to some experts.

"It's self-serving," says Douglas Weiss, the executive director of the Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colo.

Himself a former sex addict, Weiss has worked with hundreds of men who use prostitutes - almost all of them married - and says such rendezvous provide clients with "object-related sex," where the man can direct the situation on all levels. "You give her a script, she plays it," he says.

There's little threat of rejection with paid sex. If you want your wife to behave in ways that push certain boundaries, you might get turned down. If you pick somebody up at a bar and try to ease her out of her comfort zone, you might get "partial results," Weiss says. But with a prostitute, generally you get what you pay for.

In some cases, it's more than just sex that clients are looking for. Online message and review boards for "escort" services reveal many conversations where customers are seeking a GFE - a "girlfriend experience" - which can mean anything from showing extra affection the way a girlfriend might to not wearing a condom.

Encounters with prostitutes might be a temporary boon to a man's self-esteem, says Weiss, who wrote, "The Final Freedom: Pioneering Sexual Addiction Recovery."

"You've got the psychological reinforcement," he says. "That message is, 'I want you.' ... Prostitutes know that the male psyche wants to be wanted. They want to be wanted, and so the prostitute will communicate it during sex. That sends the man through the roof."

A prostitute whom you've never met might give a potential client a sense of security that he won't be found out. If you engage in illicit behaviour with anybody in your immediate circle of friends, colleagues or acquaintances, there are more chances of being gossiped about, according to Tina B. Tessina, author of "Money, Sex, and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage."

"He's, in his mind, protecting his relationship by doing this," she says.

Tessina believes communication is the most important way to heal a troubled relationship. Sometimes that means facing facts that are initially unsettling.

"We have to come to terms with who we are as human beings," she says. "We can't pretend it's going to get tame and go away just because we're uncomfortable with it. It's like death. That's not going to go away either, just because we're uncomfortable with it."

March 19, 2008
The Canadian Free Press
http://canadianpress.google.com

The Surprising Joy of Christian Sex Toys

Joy Wilson went looking for something to spice up her marriage without compromising her Christian beliefs.

Finding nothing, she founded her own "sin-free" sex toy business. Book22.com caters to the Christian community with books, toys and occasional advice. The name refers to the Song of Solomon, the extended love poem that forms the 22nd book of the Bible.

Wilson says that after the birth of her first child, she had trouble rekindling her desire for intimacy. She and her husband went looking for marital aids, and found that Internet searches for products as tame as massage oil led to sites with pornographic images. "I was really surprised that it was that bad," she says.

She and her husband talked it over and decided that there must be a way for conservative people to add a spark to their romantic lives. She says their site steers clear of certain types of sexual activity that they believe are unholy. And they carefully consider which new products to add.

"We pray about things before we add them to our site," she says. "We live our lives very openly in front of Jesus, so we just kind of pray for direction about which way he would have us go, and I have to be honest with you — he's really surprised us. ... Almost our whole entire 'special order' page has come about from that."

Wilson says she and her husband are blessed with good health, but that God has shown them that other couples might need help from a particular toy.

The Bryant Park Project,
March 21, 2008
http://www.npr.org

Sex toy safety: What you need to know before you dig into the adult toybox

The sex-toy industry is like a bad parent that lets its children chew on toxic toys.

Recently, Health Canada announced it would be banning the use of certain phthalates in products intended for kids, like teethers and rattles.

Meanwhile, adults can play with toys that, in certain animals, may cause anything from hormonal and reproductive problems to liver and kidney damage.

"The sex-toy industry is largely unregulated. Products are sold as novelty items, which makes manufacturers immune to certain regulations that would provide more quality control," says Edmonton sexologist Brian Parker.

Most poorly made sex toys are often made of materials like jelly, plastic or latex, which are porous and can't be properly sterilized. They can also have sharp seams, which may cause tears in the vaginal or rectal walls, and can cause allergic reactions and bacterial infections.

Phthalates, a type of chemical often added to plastics to increase their flexibility, are at the centre of an unfolding controversy about what can safely be but in one's mouth, or anywhere else in one's body. Over time, the phthalates may potentially leach out, releasing compounds that can be absorbed through the body's mucus membranes.

"There's huge money in the sex-toy industry, and it's dominated by a couple of big companies, but they're not pulling up their socks," says Parker, who runs www.foreverpleasure.com, an online resource for adult sex education that also sells high-end silicone toys.

Silicone is an ideal sex-toy material because it is non-porous, non-toxic, hypoallergenic, warms to the body quickly, and "carries vibration like a dream," says Parker.

But buyers need to be wary of imitations, which are now flooding the market because of increased awareness of health concerns.

"Some manufacturers say their toys are made of silicone when there's only about 10 per cent silicone. They need to be 100 per cent medical- or food-grade silicone, Pyrex glass or Elastomer to fully protect you," says Parker.

A handful of stores adhere to strict guidelines and only carry safe sex-toys, like Vancouver-based womynsware.com, which is known as the authority on good products, says Parker.

"If you've got an old toy you love to use, but you're not sure about it, put a condom on it, and next time buy only good toys."

The majority of people are more interested in a sex toy's bells and whistles than in any potential health concerns associated with using them, says the owner of a west-end sex boutique.

"They just assume sex toys are all safe. There's not a lot of awareness around the possible dangers of phthalates. It's more about looking for the most powerful vibration they can find, not necessarily what's the safest," says Sandy Keeler, who runs Alluring Intimates.

She sells a range of toys made from silicone and glass to plastic, jelly and latex, to satisfy every customer. Silicone and glass toys range anywhere from $85 to $200, while products made only of partial silicone run about $35.

"We try to educate people, if they're interested. Some toy boxes now advertise that they're 'phthalate-free,' so people are starting to ask more questions," says Keller.

Sex toys are perfectly normal and natural to use with a partner or alone. They can enhance your sex life, but it's not worth putting yourself at risk, so shop carefully.

In 2006, Greenpeace Netherlands conducted a study that found seven out of eight vibrators and dildos tested contained phthalates in concentrations from 24 to 51 per cent.

The U.S. Center for Disease Control is currently studying the effects of phthalates on animals and humans. They've determined that phthalates cause a number of health-related issues for rodents, including infertility, endocrine problems, liver and kidney damage, and tumours, but so far no human studies have reported these issues.

The Canadian government is also testing phthalate levels in blood and tissue samples from 5,000 Canadians. In addition, a second study is underway that involves 2,000 pregnant women and their newborns.

Parker hopes scientific evidence will lead to stricter industry regulations.

Isn't the next step obvious: to hold the industry that produces sex toys to a safer standard?

We protect society's most vulnerable -- our children -- but what about making adults' playtime safe?

Friday, March 21
Jennifer Parks
http://www.edmontonjournal.com

Talking Sex... Understanding wet dreams

Threatened pandas taught new sex moves

Animal handlers in China have developed a "sexercise" program to try to encourage extinction-threatened pandas to overcome their notoriously low sex drives.

Efforts to remove pandas from the endangered list is helped little by their notoriously low sex drives.

Featuring hip and pelvic-strengthening "dances" for male pandas, the program also sees inexperienced pandas watching their older relatives make love to learn a few moves.

The handlers hope to encourage mating among the sex-shy-but-endangered animals, the Chinese state media reported Tuesday. They work at the Chengdu Research Base of Giant Panda Breeding in the southwestern Sichuan province, the China Daily said.

Keepers teach male pandas a dance-like routine to strengthen the pelvic and hip area -- it also boosts the animal's stamina, the paper said.

In the wild, pandas are solitary animals, coming together only in the spring to mate.

Keepers place a male panda in a female's den when she's not there and vice versa. This allows them to smell each other's odors. And if the pandas get randy at the same time, keepers bring them together, the report said.

"We arrange love-making between two excellent pandas in front of inexperienced pandas, which have never had sex. It does work," the reserve's deputy chief, Fei Lisong, told the newspaper.

The unusual measures are aimed at increasing the population of captive giant pandas. They have famously low sexual desires -- and that threatens their future.

Fewer than 1,600 giant pandas survive in the wild, along the edge of the Tibetan plateau in China, according to the World Wildlife Fund.

The peaceful, bamboo-eating member of the bear family faces a number of threats. Its forest habitat is fragmented, and giant panda populations are small and isolated from each other. Poaching is also an ever-present threat, the fund said.

The reserve has, in the past, tried to boost panda sex drive by showing the animals pornographic movies once in the morning and again in the evening.

The new "sexercise" regimen seems to be yielding results.

Fei said more than 30 percent of the 68 pandas at the reserve can have sex naturally now, compared with only 10 percent a decade ago.

March 25, 2008
http://www.CNN.com

Crazy U.S. Thinking: Rampant Sexually Spread Diseases and No Talk About Sex!

Spring fever has sprung! Just as a sobering CDC study report breaks that one in four American teen girls has a sexually transmitted disease, crime-busting Gov. Eliot Spitzer resigns for itching an eighty-grand, reportedly unsafe prostitution habit. Instantly the scandal storm blows bigger and more bizarre as New York's new governor holds an emergency press conference to confess -- also with wife by side -- to several affairs, one over several years. Meanwhile, journalists struggle for truth in the public dispute between New Jersey's former "I'm a gay American" governor and his divorcing wife about their alleged three-ways with their young male driver. News hasn't been this salacious since the Starr Report. And camera crews still have to dispatch to spring break hot spots to capture the bouncing B-roll of oiled and bronzed female flesh so news pundits can opine on America's moral decline.

Family values conservatives are spinning the current chaos to pin the blame on sexual health education and to push for more abstinence-only programming, already a $1.5 billion social engineering boondoggle that mandates the expected sexual standard for children (up to 29 years old!) be within marriage. Never mind that most of us at some point explore our sexuality outside of marriage -- even chastity champions like Sen. David Vitter (R-LA), a longtime patron of prostitutes. Never mind that real life proves that a wedding ring doesn't protect you from disease and despair, even if you're not a political wife. Never mind that the United States leads developed nations in rates of HIV, other STDs, teen births and unwanted pregnancies -- purity pushers don't want to send our kids any mixed messages. "Our challenge is that the government wants to talk about preventing the spread of STDs and HIV without talking about sex," says sexuality educator Deb Levine.

In our sex-saturated consumer culture, abstinence-only-unless-married is a mixed message. How can we talk about sex in a way that makes sense to us, and to our relationships? What is healthy sexuality? And how can we teach it in such a toxic environment of extremes?

"We sell and promote sex with everything from soap to cars, but it's still for the most part a closeted discussion. It is most absent in a meaningful way in curricula geared toward our most vulnerable sexually active populations," says Lennie Green, who at John Hopkins University facilitates communication among groups of young African American men who have sex with men -- a community the CDC reports to have experienced a spike in HIV infections.

"We seem to have this Sunday morning church mentality when we discuss sexuality, but when we review societal practices there's a major dichotomy in our rhetoric and what we actually do," says Green. "The weakest link has been 'family values.' They strike out against subcultures they find amoral, and crusade to establish law and order in bed. Even in the face of disease we hang onto old archaic beliefs that sex will not happen until marriage. Our public health record has been trashing that theory for decades."

"The biggest challenge is to be open on the subject of sex," says Kylee Darcy, a freshman at UC Berkeley and winner of the Fresh Focus Sex Ed Video Contest. "In spite of all the sexy messages out there, communication about sex is still shrouded with taboo. It's pretty ridiculous to think that an abstinence program is going to be able to outweigh the hundreds of sexual suggestions I get everyday from TV, the Internet, magazines, billboards, music, fashion, etc. Sex is something everyone, whether they want to do it or not, needs to be clear about. And the only thing that can create clarity is communication."

Darcy's animated video, showcased in January at Sex::Tech: Focus on Youth, the first STD/HIV prevention conference focusing on youth and technology, illustrated pop culture's sexed-up messages crushing the scale against abstinence-only messages. "The abstinence-only program is not productive, but sex ed that just addresses the physical act of sex and contraception is also outdated," Darcy continues. "Yes, students need to know about contraception and disease, but sex ed should be as much about the interpersonal as the physical. Good sex ed can help create rapport between young people and their parents as well as young people and their partners."

If speaking honestly about sex in person can be daunting, then the "perceived anonymity" of technology and new media can free youth to ask questions they might find uncomfortable, says Deb Levine, founder and executive director of the Internet Sexuality Information Services (ISIS). "Our culture promotes shame and embarrassment about explicit discussions of sex, sexuality and sexual health," she says. "We interviewed young men and women to find out how they wanted to receive sensitive information, and mobile phones were unanimously considered to be an acceptable and private way to talk about sexual issues." So ISIS engages in strategic collaborations to promote sexual health via cell phone, PDAs and the Internet.

"Overall, when people are asking about communication-building skills, they're wanting to know how to talk about sex without shame, how to talk to partners candidly without stepping too hard on insecurities or sensitivities, how to feel assertive in talking about it all," says Heather Corrina, founder and editor of Scarleteen.com, an independent online sexuality education resource and community for young adults that takes a feminist, inclusive and often humorous approach to answering sensitive questions. "For the girls particularly, lack of assertiveness is always a big area of need, and not just with birth control, but overall with negotiating sex and relationships. A lot of what would help is for adults to not just prepare kids to say 'yes' or 'no,' but prepare them for the fact that all of this communication and negotiation tends to be a lot less black and white than that, and a lot more nuanced," says Corrina, a passionate workhorse who runs Scarleteen -- which serves up to 30,000 users a day -- solely on donations. Approximately a third of the content in the model sexuality education guidelines by the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States focuses on relationship and communication skills, says Monica Rodriguez, SIECUS's Vice President for Education and Training. "The ultimate goal of sexuality education programs is to help young people grow up to be sexually healthy adults. We need to move beyond just giving information -- young people need to be given opportunities to practice skills in decision-making and communicating decisions to a partner," she says.

Fueling the myth that sexual health education causes promiscuity is blood sport in traditionalists' sex-driven culture war. "In our abstinence-only world today, people sometimes confuse providing sexual education with promoting sexual activity for young people," says Deb Levine. Debra Hauser, executive vice president for Advocates for Youth, agrees. "Even enlightened educators fear that parents and administrators will react negatively to a curriculum that promotes healthy sexuality -- that the perception will be that they are condoning or promoting sex," says Hauser, whose group lobbies for the stalled REAL Act to provide unprecedented funding for sex ed that goes beyond today's disease-prevention model. "The perception of many is that [sex ed] needs a heavy-handed message that teaches sex is likely to lead to negative outcomes. Thirty years of public health research shows that teaching young people about healthy sexuality does not promote sex."

And since talking sex beyond bananas and virginity pledges is essential to facilitating healthy identities and relationships, sexuality educators and advocacy organizations like SIECUS make easy targets. To show that sex ed undermines parents and corrupts childhood innocence, culture warriors cherry-pick from sexual health programs to find scary words like "masturbation" and "pleasure." "I am always interested in the way teachers are so afraid of discussing anything that might be pleasurable," says sex educator McCaffree. "Youth will want to know why people even have sex if there is no pleasure. They are very concrete early on, and it doesn't make sense to approach with all the negatives. Helping them see why and how people enjoy their sexuality is important ... When a program only deals with teen pregnancy, STIs, rape and those topics, pleasure is replaced with fear-based negatives."

McCaffree cites the United Church of Christ/Unitarian Universalist sex ed curriculum, Our Whole Lives, as a program that understands the importance of teaching about pleasure and the diverse reasons why individuals and couples are sexual. "OWL is the antidote to an overly sexualized society," says Ann Hanson, Minister for Sexuality Education and Justice, UCC. "Program assumptions" include the tenets that "sexuality includes more than sexual behavior" and "people engage in healthy sexual behavior for a variety of reasons, including to express love, to experience intimacy and connection with another, to share pleasure, to bring new life into the world, and to experience fun and relaxation." "OWL doesn't focus only on the negatives of sex, but encourages exploration of all aspects of sexuality," says McCaffree. "When you include everything, pleasure can be more readily seen."

Maybe the OWL lesson most threatening to the retro values movement bent on slashing away at sexual health and freedom is "each person is their own moral agent." Such modern ambiguity conjures apocalyptic nightmares for the moral absolutists who distort the sexual health conversation we need to lead responsible, joyful lives. Talking about sex and sexuality doesn't do anything to young people's "innocence," McCaffree reminds us. "What makes any aspect of sex or sexuality so awful that innocence is removed?" Indeed, courageous souls are working against the tide of America's sexual schizophrenia to help young people communicate openly about their sexual wants and needs. But can we really talk grown-up sex today amid the culture warmongering and commercial chatter of the next media sex scandal?

March 27, 2008
Laura Driscoll
http://www.alternet.org

Security 'bad news for sex drive'

A woman's sex drive begins to plummet once she is in a secure relationship, according to research.

Researchers from Germany found that four years into a relationship, less than half of 30-year-old women wanted regular sex.

Conversely, the team found a man's libido remained the same regardless of how long he had been in a relationship.

Writing in the journal Human Nature, the scientists said the differences resulted from how humans had evolved.
   
For men, a good reason their sexual motivation to remain constant would be to guard against being cuckolded by another male
Dr Dietrich Klusmann

The researchers from Hamburg-Eppendorf University Hospital interviewed 530 men and women about their relationships.

They found 60% of 30-year-old women wanted sex "often" at the beginning of a relationship, but within four years of the relationship this figure fell to under 50%, and after 20 years it dropped to about 20%.

In contrast, they found the proportion of men wanting regular sex remained at between 60-80%, regardless of how long they had been in a relationship.

Tenderness

The study also revealed tenderness was important for women in a relationship.

About 90% of women wanted tenderness, regardless of how long they had been in a relationship, but only 25% of men who had been in a relationship for 10 years said they were still seeking tenderness from their partner.

Dr Dietrich Klusmann, lead author of the study and a psychologist from Hamburg-Eppendorf University Hospital, believed the differences were down to human evolution.

He said: "For men, a good reason their sexual motivation to remain constant would be to guard against being cuckolded by another male."

But women, he said, have evolved to have a high sex drive when they are initially in a relationship in order to form a "pair bond" with their partner.

But, once this bond is sealed a woman's sexual appetite declines, he added.

He said animal behaviour studies suggest this could be because females may be diverting their sexual interest towards other men, in order to secure the best combinations of genetic material for their offspring.

Or, he said, this could be because limiting sex may boost their partner's interest in it.

Professor George Fieldman, an evolutionary psychologist from Buckinghamshire Chilterns University College, said: "These findings seem to fit in with anecdotal studies and his explanations seem plausible.

"The rational for why a woman's sex drive declines may be down to supply and demand. If something is in infinite supply, the perceived value would drop."

Published August 14, 2006
http://www.bbc.co.uk

Ryan Gosling enamoured by sex doll

GOSLING tells of how he fell for "Bianca" in his new movie Lars and the Real Girl

In the new movie, Gosling plays an emotionally stunted man who brings his first girlfriend, Bianca, home for dinner. His brother and sister-in-law are elated. But their joy soon turns to shock and horror when Bianca turns out to be a life-sized latex doll.

She's a "Real Doll", to be precise, a flexible, anatomically correct rubber woman.

Males drool, females rule in examination of mating rituals on PBS

Suppose you're a single adult male with a yen to impress the ladies but no cash, credit or opposable thumbs.

Given these limitations, you can't very well splash on some high-octane after-shave and go out to haunt the bars.

So, if you're a sage grouse, you coo and strut and fan your spectacular tail feathers.

If you're a bowerbird, you gather the prettiest pebbles, leaves, flowers and twigs to construct a cunning girl-trap.

And if you're a red-sided garter snake, you slither out of your den, coil yourself around the nearest female and - battling perhaps a dozen other males wrapped around the same she-snake - attempt to wriggle your way to the prize.

All this and much more is on display in a two-part "Nature" special airing this month on PBS, "What Females Want and Males Will Do."

A guide to some of the animal kingdom's most flamboyant mating rituals, it documents the ways males of diverse species pass on their genes without benefit of roses, chocolates or a carefully crafted iMix.

Why travel from New Guinea to Ethiopia to Manitoba to film courting behavior?

Not to belabor the obvious, but sex is, well, sexy.

"You get some of the most amazing behavior from these animals when they're trying to attract a mate," wildlife biologist Chadden Hunter told TV critics last summer at a PBS session to promote the "Nature" special, which airs Sunday and April 13.

"These arenas where you've got this one chance to impress . . . the opposite sex really are a fascinating part of biology."

Hunter, an Aussie by birth, spent three years in the mountains of northern Ethiopia studying the local gelada baboons.

The males toss their long, tawny manes and flash their bright-red pectoral patches to catch the eyes of potential mates.

Though the suitors can be twice the size of those they court, it's clear who wields power over the mating process.

"It's a lot of fun to watch these girls use alliances and networks and families to just completely control sexual access to a male," Hunter observed. "He's just a sex toy."

'Fembot' drives 'em wild

Among Wyoming sage grouse, too, the hen is mightier, or at least more discriminating.

"The females are extremely picky about the males, but the males are just keyed up," said Gail Patricelli, a University of California-Davis biologist who specializes in animal communication. "They're out there trying to copulate with cow pies most of the day."

To elicit the male birds' mating displays for her studies, Patricelli has rigged up an artificial female sage grouse. This remote-controlled "fembot," as she calls it, consists of a real bird's head and a feathered breast and back atop a toy airplane engine and model train wheels.

When the fembot tootles along on her train tracks, the guys go wild.

"The males don't seem bothered by the tracks," Patricelli said, "and we can send her out to particular stops in front of our target males. She has a little microphone so we can record the male sound from the female's perspective, and a little video camera (for) the display. She allows us to interact with the males and get inside the head of a real female to see what they see."

Surprisingly, for producer Kevin Bachar, the birds were more of a trial to film than the baboons.

"For the sage grouse, you had to be in a blind by 4:45 in the morning, and you couldn't leave until the last bird left, which was sometimes 11 o'clock," Bachar said. "It's 28 degrees, and you can't drink coffee because you can't leave the blind, (so you can't) go to the bathroom."

Baboons 'very visual'

The gelada, on the other hand "were amazing," Bachar marveled. "You could get up close with the camera. They really had no fear - they didn't stop doing anything they did. The main thing is, you really didn't want to make eye contact with them."

"They're very visual," Hunter said, explaining that, when a male baboon displays signs of aggression - raising his eyebrow, curling his lip, flashing his canines - it's best to avert one's eyes.

"Basically, they'll try to give you as much warning as possible before they take a chunk out of you. I've never been attacked because I follow the protocol and know how to behave."

Selective about genes

Another thing that surprised Bachar was the variety of subtle or not-so-subtle controls the females exerted over the males when it came to procreation. Far from being the passive receptacles pictured in some older wildlife documentaries, most future mothers that were studied were very selective about the genes of their offspring.

Female fireflies, for example, prefer virgin males. Some male lizards must do push-ups to demonstrate their vigor.

In some of the most common duck species, males without mates will force themselves on females who've already paired off with other males.

"Most of the time the female just can't escape, so they will actually be force-copulated on by several males, in some cases," said Patricia Brennan, who studies the birds at a Connecticut waterfowl sanctuary near Yale University, where she's a behavioral ecologist.

"That's not the end of the story, though. You know, the male's copulated, and he won, but everything else is happening inside the female.

"She can choose to use the sperm from that male or dump it. She can develop other defenses, chemical or whatever, to keep control of her reproduction.

"That's a good part of the story that doesn't get out as much because we can't see it quite so easily," Brennan said.

"The male might walk away going, 'ha, ha, ha,' " Bachar added, "but it doesn't mean (fatherhood)."

March 31, 2008
JOANNE WEINTRAUB
http://www.jsonline.com

Vibrator.com Airplane Ad Pulled in Texas

SOUTH PADRE ISLAND, Texas — A pink banner advertising adult products website Vibrator.com that had been flown over spring break destination South Padre Island has been grounded after complaints by residents.

"It's just a little community, and there are a lot of older folks there," John from Houston-based National Sky Signs told XBIZ. "We flew it a couple of times and the county asked me if I would not do it anymore. It was an informal request. I said, 'Not a problem.' They moved the banner to another place."

The banner is 25 feet high and 68 feet long, with the words “Got Toys? Vibrator.com" alongside the company’s logo of a silhouetted woman.

"We felt that it's a great audience for us, spring breakers," Vibrator.com CEO Keith Levenson told XBIZ. "We know our demographics, and the 18-25 crowd is a big audience for us."

Levenson told XBIZ that he might pursue the ban through the courts.

"So far as I knew, flying planes and aerial banners was a First Amendment right," Levenson said. "From what we heard, this was a little airport that took the law into their own hands. We're contemplating legal action."

April 1, 2008
Tod Hunter
http://xbiz.com/news/web/91994

Study gauges sex time

Sex offender drops suit vs. mom, McDonald’s

Male baboons just sex toys

Girls rule.

That's what wildlife biologist Chadden Hunter, one of the featured researchers in the two-part PBS Nature documentary What Females Want and Males Will Do, found after living for three years in the Simien mountains of northern Ethiopia with a troop of gelada baboons.

He found that the female baboons establish what, when, where, why and how, where sex is concerned. Girls rule -- literally, as it turned out: He watched as one group of four females chased a male off a cliff, after irreconcilable differences reached a crisis point.

"The males, even though they're twice the size, are just sex toys," Hunter said, with a straight face.

What Females Want and Males Will Do premieres tonight on PBS. Anyone interested in baboon social psychology -- and that of other animals as well -- will find their interests piqued.

Male gelada baboons, Hunter says, have "amazing hairdos" and spend much of their day, "poncing around, showing off like peacocks."

But when push comes to shove, it's the women who end up on top, while the older males just sit around, "do some housework, and look after the kids."

Hunter's baboon study is just one aspect of What Females Want. The program also focuses on the work of Yale University behavioural ecologist and duck researcher Patricia Brennan, who, in the words of Nature executive-producer Fred Kaufman, "has made groundbreaking discoveries in her research of duck phalluses and how they've co-evolved with female ducks' reproductive anatomy."

The program also profiles the work of University of California-Davis field biologist Gail Patricelli, a self-admitted "pornothologist" who uses remote-controlled robots -- "grouse fembots" -- to study the signals birds send to each other during courtship.

The idea was to show the many different ways sexual attraction manifests itself in the animal kingdom.

"When you get some of the most amazing behaviour from these animals is when they're trying to attract a mate," Hunter explained. "This one chance you get to impress and one chance to get it off with the opposite sex really is a fascinating part of biology."

Sex talk aside, parents needn't worry about What Females Want being inappropriate viewing, Nature's Kaufman insists.

TELEVISION

Nature: What Females Want and Males Will Do

When and where: Tonight at 8 on PBS

April 6, 2008
Alex Strachan
http://www.canada.com

Fred Hosts Andelloux, Dominatrix and Foot Fetish Model

"Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Orgasms" was the theme of the Erotic Justice event held at The Fred Pfelil Community Project last Wednesday, April 2 , featuring special guest speaker Megan Andelloux. The event was organized by Amanda Persad '10 for her "Sexual Labors in the United States" course, with Stephanie Gilmore, Visiting Assistant Professor of History and American Studies.

Persad summarized it best, saying, "[Andelloux] is helping to strengthen the sexual movement. What she does stands for all of that."

Part of the course involves conducting an interview with a sex worker, to be included as part of a bigger work, "an audio tribute," as Persad put it, called "Voices of Sexual Labor," put together by Gilmore. This is where Andelloux came in for Persad. Andelloux works as a dominatrix and foot fetish model, as well as a gynecological teaching associate. She also works at a feminist-run sex shop.

"I feel my mission in life is to bridge the gap between the medical and the pleasure centric models of sexuality and I aim to do this in a sex-positive and sassy, yet professional manner," she says on her Web site, www.OhMegan.com.

"She is more than just what she does for a living," Persad said. "She is an educator and very well-informed. People here have very narrow views, and they should hear the stuff she has to say."

Andelloux echoed the statement: "We need to get people talking about sexuality. I provide a safe space, so people can do that. It causes a commotion, which is something a math class doesn't do, although sex is just as important as math."

For her presentation, Andelloux was wearing a little black dress and bright red heels, completing her signature look with square frame glasses. According to Persad, this was actually Andelloux's fourth visit to Trinity College. However, there was a sparser crowd than usual at Andelloux's appearances - only a few dozen people were in attendance.

To start off the night, Andelloux began by showing a YouTube video called "Dildo Diaries," a documentary-style clip about a woman who was unable to buy the sex toy in Texas, as sex toys were illegal. (Very recently, this law has changed; however, their sale is still illegal in Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Mississippi South Carolina, and Tennessee.) After hearing the audience's bewilderment, Andelloux said, "We're not dealing with medical facts tonight; we're dealing with politics." She emphasized the fact that everyone's civil liberties were slowly being taken away, without anyone even realizing.

Andelloux made sure there was an ongoing discussion about all of the topics she broached. "I'll start breaking out into hives if I'm the only one talking," she warned.

After her introduction to the whole subject, Andelloux had all the attendees draw two pictures: one of something general that disgusted them, one of something sexual that disgusted them. She then asked for the pictures to be taped to the wall, and for everyone to gather around and discuss them. The pictures ranged from things like rotting garbage and unflushed toilets to bestiality and anal sex. Her point was that what some people find repulsive, others see as acceptable and even turn-ons. She said, "Some of you are probably going to go home tonight and think to yourself, 'Wow, I do that, and somebody thinks it's gross.' Mull it over. You shouldn't feel like a bad person, but you should think about it."

The interactiveness of Andelloux's presentation seemed very effective. Also, her forthright manner with it all made what could have been an uncomfortable, awkward conversation into something easy and informative to take in, without being clinical or lecture-like.

The discussion moved then to the religious right and their attempts at controlling and limiting what people can and cannot do in their personal lives. She used many good examples of current cases and trials that are going on in the courts today to illustrate what she was saying. Andelloux also brought up activist judges, as well as such organizations as the XXX Church, passing around a sample Bible that they hand out at porn star conventions. She showcased a video on their Web site called, "Save The Kittens," which declared that, "Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten." The conversation about these topics was so captivating that it lasted for over two hours.

"I thought it was interesting," Daisy Ramos '10 said, "It was my first time attending one of [Andelloux's] talks and it wasn't at all what I thought it was going to be like. I was surprised at how open everyone was to talking about subjects that are sometimes a little uncomfortable to talk about. It was also another reminder of just how much politics affects our daily activities."

Betsy Perez '10 agreed, "Events such as these are crucial to dispel ignorance about sexual health. Furthermore, the information that [Andelloux] provides dissolves the stigmas surrounding active sex lives that should not at all be stigmatized."

This was Andelloux's second event at Trinity this year. She also spoke during the Fall semester at a Fred event on the art of the female orgasm.

April 8, 2008
Krystal Ramirez
http://media.www.trinitytripod.com/

Sex? It’s written ‘all over your face’

Your face exuberate subtle hints about  your sexual preferences which the opposite sex perceives to make a better partner choice, according to a new research which gives deeper insight into mate attractiveness.

The research published in Evolution and Human Behaviour is an insight into how people can use their perceptions to make more informed partner selection depending on the type of relationship they are pursuing and is a significant step in further understanding the evolution of partner choice, according to the research team from Durham, St Andrews
and Aberdeen Universities.

The men who were most open to casual sex were generally  perceived as being more masculine-looking, with facial features  including squarer jaws, larger nose and smaller eyes, confirming that women see masculine men as more likely to be unfaithful.

It also showed that women who were open to short-term sexual relationships were usually seen by others as more attractive, though not knowing why. Contrary to this, women are usually all over men who are potential long-term relationship material.

Men generally prefer women who they perceive are open to short-term sexual relationships while women are usually interested in men who appear to have potential to be long-term relationship  material.

Participants in the research were asked to judge the attractiveness and attitudes to sex of the opposite sex from  the facial photographs of people in their early 20s. These  perceptual judgements were then compared with the actual attitudes and behaviours of the individuals in the photographs.

It was found that the 72 per  cent of the 153 participants  (both sexes) could generally correctly judge from photographs  the potential suitor for short-term relationship.

Lead author Dr Lynda Boothroyd from Durham University’s  Psychology Department
said: “This shows that these initial impressions may be part of how we assess potential mates.”

April 9, 2008
http://www.dnaindia.com/

Many regret having sex too young

Irish teenagers who have sexual intercourse before the age of 17 are significantly less likely to use contraception the first time they have sex, compared to those who wait until they are older, new research has shown.

According to the findings from the Crisis Pregnancy Agency (CPA), almost one-third of men and one in five women aged 18-24 had sex before the age of 17. Of these, almost 17% of men and 14.5% of women had sex for the first time at the age of 16.

Among those who had sex at 16, almost half (43%) of women and one in five (19%) men expressed regret at the timing, saying that they ‘should have waited longer’.

The research revealed that almost 15% of men and nearly 8% of women had sex for the first time before the age of 16. Of these, 37% of men and 59% of women said they regretted having sex for the first time at such an early age.

“For those who had sex before 17, the research shows the impact of early first sex on the individual’s later sexual health and suggests that some young people are saying they are having sex at a time in their lives that is not right for them. We need to equip young people with the knowledge and skills they need to delay their first sexual experience”, explained CPA chairperson, Katharine Bulbulia.

The research showed that those who had sex before the age of 17 were half as likely to use contraception the first time they had sex, compared to those who waited until they were older.

The CPA also pointed to international research, which indicates that the use of contraception at first sex has a strong influence on subsequent behaviour. This explains why women who have sexual intercourse before the age of 17 are almost 70% more likely to experience a crisis pregnancy later in life and are three times more likely to have an abortion, compared to those who wait until they are older.

The research is based on three sub-reports of the Irish Study of Sexual Health and Relationships, a survey which was carried out in 2006. The sub-reports have just been published and provide an in-depth analysis of that survey.

According to Ms Bulbulia, the CPA is currently planning a campaign to encourage adolescents to delay first sex, ‘which we hope to launch this year’

April 11, 2008
Deborah Condon 
http://www.irishhealth.com

Marilyn Monroe Sex Tape Sold for $1.5M

A steamy 15-minute sex tape of Marilyn Monroe performing oral sex on an unidentified man has been sold to a New York businessman for $1.5 million. The long-buried sex film recently hit the market, a memorabilia collector told the New York Post.

The footage, which appears to have been shot in the 1950s before Monroe became famous, first surfaced in the mid-'60s. Then-FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover reportedly spent two weeks trying (unsuccessfully) to prove that Monroe's sex partner was either then-President John F. Kennedy or his brother, Robert F. Kennedy, according to FBI documents.

In the silent black-and-white film, Monroe is on her knees in front of a man whose face is out of the shot, reports the NYPost. It appears he knew the camera was there, but Monroe never looks at the lens. The feds eventually confiscated the original film, but an FBI informant copied it, which is the footage that was just sold to the unidentified NY businessman.

Newly declassified FBI documents state that an informant "exhibited [to agents] a motion picture which depicted deceased actress Marilyn Monroe committing a perverted act upon a unknown male."

FBI documents also indicate that former baseball star Joe DiMaggio (who was once married to Monroe) knew about the tape and had offered [the informant] $25,000 for the film, but the informant refused the offer.

"You see instantly that it's Marilyn Monroe - she has the famous mole," according to an NYC memorabilia collector. "She's smiling, she's very charming, she's very radiant, but she's known for being radiant," he said. "She moves away, and then it [the footage] stops."

Fortunately for Monroe, the tape will never see the light of day if its new owner has any say in the matter. The wealthy New York businessman reportedly wants to keep this unseemly part of Monroe's past buried. He said: "I'm not going to make a Paris Hilton out of her. I'm not going to sell it, out of respect."

If his intentions are genuine, the guy is a class act and a true gentleman. If not, he's a total loser and douchebag, who's in the same class as sleazebag porn-meister Joe Francis and Rick Salomon (who made and sold the Paris Hilton sex tape).

April 14, 2008
http://theimproper.com

You’ll Never See The Marilyn Monroe Sex Tape

Sometimes all a man wants to see is a dead blonde girl commit sex acts on film - but what about when they’ve exhausted their Anna Nicole Smith supply?

Well, then there’s always the Marilyn Monroe sex tape. You heard - there’s a Marilyn Monroe sex tape. A tape of Marilyn Monroe gobbling on a man’s penis for 15 minutes. It really exists, but don’t get too excited.

A private collector has just bought the Marilyn Monroe sex tape for $1.5 million, and he’s sworn to keep it from the public in order to protect the dignity of Marilyn Monroe. Well, that and to masturbate himself scabby over the Marilyn Monroe sex tape 12 times a day for the rest of his life knowing that he’s the only one who knows what Marilyn Monroe looks like when she does blowjobs.

That’s it - this is the end of the world. We believe it was Nostradamus who said ‘all will be well when Lindsay Lohan copies Marilyn Monroe, but when Marilyn Monroe copies Lindsay Lohan we’re all fucked.’

And that, friends, is exactly what’s happened. Just a couple of weeks after the Lindsay Lohan sex tape leaked, Marilyn Monroe has got in on the act as well. Never mind that she’s been dead for 46 years - if you want to see Marilyn Monroe shove a bloke’s penis into her mouth and keep it there for 15 minutes, the Marilyn Monroe sex tape means you can.

Except you can’t. Everyone knows that a Marilyn Monroe sex tape would be the holy grail of celebrity sex tapes. More than that, in fact - since the discovery of the Marilyn Monroe sex tape, the holy grail has been papally downgraded to ‘the Marilyn Monroe sex tape of grails’ - but because of this, the man who yesterday bought the Marilyn Monroe sex tape has promised to keep it private forever, as Reuters reports:

A 15-minute film of Marilyn Monroe engaging in oral sex with an unidentified man will be kept from public view by a New York businessman who has bought it for $1.5 million, the broker of the deal said on Monday. Memorabilia collector Keya Morgan said he recently arranged the sale of the silent, black-and-white film from the son of a dead FBI informant who possessed it to a wealthy Manhattan businessman who wants to protect Monroe’s privacy. “The gentleman who bought it said out respect for Marilyn he’s not going to make a joke of it and put it on the Internet and try to exploit her.”

A good thing too, because who really wants to see one of the most iconic women of all time giving a blowjob to a man on film? Oh that’s right - everyone. Everyone wants to see Marilyn Monroe debase her own mouth in a sex tape, and if anyone says they don’t they’re lying.

But it looks like it’ll never happen now. Not until he dies and his heirs flog the video to the first website to turn up with a chequebook, anyway. Only then will be able to see a creepy dead woman silently fellate a man, and it can’t come a day too soon.

Of course, the real tragedy is that Marilyn Monroe died before this sex tape got out. Then the possibilities would have been endless. Maybe Marilyn Monroe would have been able to star in her own E! reality TV show just like Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson and Kim Kardashian, who are all equally good at filming themselves having sex. But, alas, she died before she could sell out her own life for a tawdry meaningless faux-documentary series. We don’t think we’ll ever be able to cope with that.

On the plus side, though, the existence of a Marilyn Monroe sex tape will be great news for Elton John, because it means he can bash out another lazy rewrite of Candle In The Wind to commemorate it. We’ll start it off for him: “It seems to me, you lived your life like a candle in the wind/ and by candle I obviously mean penis and by wind I mean some bloke’s gob/ you dirty great cow.”

April 15, 2008
Stuart Heritage
http://www.hecklerspray.com/

Sex Offenders!!!

Do our laws really protect kids, or are they misdirected reactions based on myths, misperceptions and stereotypes?

Most people reading this will remember when there were no public sex-offender registries—no online portals where you can type in your address and find out if a sex offender is living nearby or sign up to receive an e-mail alert when one moves into your neighborhood. A decade ago, there weren’t folks who memorized names and faces and went door-to-door to let their neighbors know that a sex offender moved in down the street—no one putting up fliers in apartment-building lobbies and laundry rooms.

No sex-offender registry or neighborhood watch would have kept a babysitter from molesting me when I was 6. He was around 16 or 17, the brother of our regular babysitter who filled in whenever his sister was busy. I don’t remember how many times it happened, but I know it was more than once. Years later, I found out that he molested my sister, who was 4, and my best friend, who lived across the street.

At some point I told my mom what happened, but I don’t know what words I used. At 6, “penis,” “vagina” and “sex” weren’t part of my vocabulary. Whatever I said, my mom didn’t believe me—at least that’s what she told me.

Looking back, I think she knew I was telling the truth, but she just didn’t know how to respond.

And then I simply forgot that it ever happened—until my first serious relationship in high school, when I had to admit to the guy that, in my mind, the male penis was a diseased, disgusting thing. A year later I ended up in counseling for severe anxiety and depression. There was a box on a questionnaire asking if I’d ever been the victim of sexual abuse, and that opened the door.

A couple of weeks ago, I threw the babysitter’s name into a national sexual-offender registry. A match came up, but the photo was a guy from Texas who happened to have the same name. I doubt the babysitter went on to become a habitual child molester—statistics suggest that he didn’t. I think it was a case of a sexually confused teen who made a bad decision.

In nine out of 10 sexual assaults, the victim knows the perpetrator. In roughly 35 to 40 percent of those cases, it’s a relative. And if it’s not a relative, it’s mom’s new boyfriend (one of the more common victim-offender relationships) or, as in my case, a babysitter.

“The mythology of the dirty old man in the trench coat with the candy lurking around kids at a school yard is misplaced,” says San Diego County Public Defender Marian Gaston. “The vast majority of sex offenders, they don’t look like that…. It’s not this easily identifiable group of outsiders who can then be cast away. It’s your sister’s new boyfriend; it’s your stepdad.”

The term “sex offender” conjures the kind of monolithic image Gaston refers to—one that’s reinforced by the news media and tough-on-crime politicians, despite evidence to the contrary. Misperception and fear, rather than good empirical research, seem to be what drives sex-offender laws.

A case in point is a new law that takes effect this week in San Diego.

The “Child Protection” ordinance, passed unanimously by the City Council in March, is a spin-off of California’s Jessica’s Law, approved by voters in 2006. Among other things, Jessica’s Law created mandatory sentences for sex offenders, requires that certain sex offenders be outfitted with Global Positioning System (GPS) devices for life and expanded the list of what constitutes a sexual offense. Most controversial are the 2,000-foot-radius “predator-free zones” the law established around schools and parks in which sex offenders who are paroled after Nov. 7, 2006, are forbidden to live (for a look at how this maps out in San Diego County, click here).

The law was named after Jessica Lunsford, a 9-year-old Florida girl who was abducted from her home, raped and killed in 2005 by John Couey, a registered sex offender who lived about 100 yards from the Lunsfords. Couey abducted Jessica by entering the home at night through an unlocked door.

Four unnamed plaintiffs—two from San Diego County—are challenging Jessica’s Law before the state Supreme Court, arguing that the law’s residency restrictions are too broad. None of the four’s crimes involved children.

Despite the court challenge, San Diego went ahead and added more locations to the list of safe zones: city libraries, city parks, amusement parks (SeaWorld, the zoo), video arcades, licensed daycare facilities and businesses that cater to children, like Chuck E. Cheese. (The map factors in only schools and parks.)

Additionally, the San Diego law creates “presence” restrictions that forbid registered sex offenders from being within 300 feet of any of the above locations. While the city’s enhanced residence restrictions apply only to people who commit a sexual offense after the law takes effect, the 300-foot restriction applies to all registered sex offenders.
Sgt. Mark Sullivan, who supervises the San Diego Police Department’s Sex Offender Registration Unit, said enforcement of the presence restriction would likely be complaint-driven.

“We used to get complaints from mothers that would take their kids to the park and say, ‘There’s a weird guy staring at my kids,’ and they’d call the police, the police would show up [and] realize they’re talking to a sex offender,” Sullivan said, “but there was no law that would allow an officer to tell him to leave.”

Now, under the new city law, the individual could be arrested, he said.

Unlike Jessica’s Law, which has no defined punishment for anyone who violates the residence restriction (unless the person’s on parole and, in that case, it’s a parole violation), San Diego’s ordinance makes it a misdemeanor criminal offense, punishable by up to six months in jail.

At the meeting where the City Council voted to implement the law, only one person spoke in opposition. Laura Arnold, a public defender, presented each council member with a 10-page memo that summarized what a number of studies have found: Restricting where a sex offender lives has no influence on whether or not he’ll commit another crime. In fact, Arnold told the City Council, research has found that such restrictions can be counterproductive, pushing sex offenders into low-income communities and rural areas or, worse, onto the street.

In 2006, the California Coalition Against Sexual Assault, an umbrella group for 84 rape crisis centers and sexual-assault prevention programs, issued a strongly worded position statement opposing Jessica’s Law: “Residency restrictions… don’t make communities safer. Residency restrictions don’t reduce recidivism, don’t improve supervision of offenders and ultimately do not protect children from sex offenders.”

And, according to a study by the Minnesota Department of Corrections that looked specifically at repeat offenders, it really does come down to relationships and not geography: “What matters with respect to sexual recidivism is not residential proximity, but rather social or relationship proximity.”

In 2006, the year before Jessica’s Law went into effect, 2,000 sex offenders registered as transient with their local police agencies. According to recent numbers from the state, 3,140 sex offenders have registered as transient—a 63-percent increase in less than two years. In San Diego, roughly 200 of approximately 1,880 registerd sex offenders have declared themselves homeless.

Sex offenders with permanent addresses are required to register annually or when they move, but transient registrants must check in with the police department every 30 days and provide officers with a general idea of where to find them, Sullivan said.

“They’ve made it very difficult for this population to find housing,” said Steve Kubicek, supervisor of adult parole operations for San Diego County. “With the city, now you’re adding [more locations]. It’s almost as if they’re purging the city of all registrants.”

Transient registrants, Kubicek pointed out, are more likely to commit other crimes. “We may see an increase in drug use when they go on the streets,” he said.

“Jessica’s Law was passed hurriedly in an election year,” he added. “And here we are in an election year.... I think [lawmakers’] intent was absolutely valid, but I think [the city law] was passed prior to evaluating the impact of the residency restriction.”

In Iowa, where a similar 2,000-foot rule has been in place since 2002, the Iowa County Prosecutors Association and more than three-dozen local governments have demanded that the state’s legislature repeal the residence restriction because of the number of offenders who’ve gone underground. And in Miami-Dade County, a reporter for the weekly Miami New Times discovered roughly 30 men living under a freeway overpass, the only place they could legally reside from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. or risk violating probation or parole.

There are other consequences of residency restrictions. Laura Arnold recently had to find a way around the law to get a client into a drug treatment facility that was too close to a school. The client, a former prostitute, is a registered sex offender because she once said “Show me your dick” to a vice cop. “Counseling” a person to expose himself is a sex crime.

Unlike most new laws the City Council enacts, this one got very little discussion; council members talked in general terms about needing to protect children, and Councilmember Ben Hueso talked about how a similar National City ordinance was pushing sex offenders into his district and so the city needed to push back. There was no factual evidence presented to the public as to why the ordinance was needed.

Not only does the ordinance lack any clear reason for being, but also, as written, it contains wrong information, specifically a portion included in the “whereas” statements that lead off the document:

“According to a 1998 report by the U.S. Department of Justice, sex offenders are the least likely to be cured and the most likely to re-offend and prey on the most innocent members of our society, and more than two-thirds of victims of rape and sexual assault are under the age of 18 and sex offenders have a higher recidivism rate for their crimes than any other type of violent felon.”

No such study exists. The information, rather, comes from a talk given by Florence Shapiro, a senator from Texas, at a 1998 conference organized by the Department of Justice. Shapiro was there to discuss “Ashley’s Law,” her overhaul of Texas’ sex-offender rules, prompted by the highly publicized death of Ashley Estell, a 7-year-old who, in 1993, was abducted from a playground and later found strangled. A man named Michael Blair, who’d helped search for the girl, was convicted and sentenced to death for her murder. Though an autopsy found no indication that Ashley had been sexually abused, Shapiro stuck with the story that the girl had been raped, and that’s what she told the audience who gathered for the conference. Blair, 23 years old at the time of the trial and already a convicted child molester, damned himself by telling the jury that he saw nothing wrong with consensual sex with underage girls. (Blair’s conviction is currently on appeal since repeated DNA tests of physical evidence suggest there were two men involved, neither of them Blair.)

Because Blair had served a shortened sentence for a child-molestation case, he became Shapiro’s poster sex offender—if he’d remained in prison, she argued, Ashley would still be alive.

“Sex offenders are a very unique type of criminal,” Shapiro told conference attendees. “I like to say they have three very unique characteristics: They are the least likely to be cured; they are the most likely to re-offend; and they prey on the most innocent members of our society.”

Those words—attributed to a “U.S. Department of Justice study”—have made their way into various pieces of sex-offender legislation, like Jessica’s Law and San Diego’s new ordinance, even though the DOJ included a disclaimer along with the transcript of the conference, saying the contents “do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the U.S. Department of Justice.”

One part of the statement is true—more than two-thirds of victims of rape and sexual assault are under 18. But the rest of the information isn’t accurate. A number of studies, including two by the Department of Justice (one released in 1997, another in 2003), have found that sex offenders have a much lower recidivism rate than any other type of criminal. According to the 1997 DOJ report, for which researchers tracked 272,111 parolees for three years, only 5.3 percent of the 9,691 sex offenders in the group were rearrested for another sex crime. As for the non-sex-offender cohort, 68 percent were rearrested. Other studies have found higher rates of recidivism among sex offenders—14 percent, on average, and as high as 26 percent—but still lower than for other criminals.

Parole’s Kubicek said his own experience confirms what the studies have found. “It’s very low for us for a new sex offense,” he said.

As the state’s Sex Offender Management Board put it, in its 219-page analysis of California’s sex-offender laws, released in January, “Statements that sex offenders cannot be ‘cured’—a concept generally accepted by experts in this field—have often been misinterpreted to mean that they will inevitably re-offend. In fact, the majority of sex offenders do not re-offend sexually over time.”

Ultimately, though, debates about recidivism mean little when it comes to the population most affected by sexual assault. As Phyllis Shess, the deputy district attorney who heads the DA’s sex offender unit, pointed out, “You have to ask, is 1 percent [recidivism] acceptable? Is 10 percent acceptable? When you’re talking about these kinds of issues, no it isn’t.”

So what’s the answer? Jessica’s Law mandated that all “high-risk” felony sex offenders must wear a GPS device for life, so that their movement can be monitored by law enforcement. The California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation began outfitting all newly paroled sex offenders—regardless of risk level— with some form of GPS device beginning last July.

In December, California was spending $21,000 a day on GPS monitoring, which comes out to $20 million a year. The state’s Legislative Analyst’s office estimated that within 10 years, the cost for GPS monitoring could grow to $100 million annually and continue to increase. Right now local governments are expected to pick up the cost after a person completes parole, an idea that no municipality has yet embraced.

While some studies have found that GPS-monitored offenders have lower recidivism rates, pilot-programs in San Diego and Tennessee found no significant difference between GPS-monitored sex offenders and those not on GPS. It’s not necessarily going to stop someone who’s dead-set on reoffending “It’s GPS, it’s not real-time; you’re not going to get the information until the following day.”

If anything, it stops an offender from absconding, though the device can just as easily be cut off. The Tennessee Department of Corrections warned that GPS devices are a resource drain when used too broadly and shouldn’t be used for life-long monitoring. Successful rehabilitation requires that an offender be given a goal to work toward, the study found.

At a community forum on San Diego’s Child Protection ordinance, Al Killen-Harvey, supervisor in the trauma counseling program at Rady Children’s Hospital, questioned whether GPS devices were the best use of limited resources:

“We only have so much money, and that money’s now gone to looking at these kinds of tracking devices.  We’ve wiped out early prevention and education programs that we used to have 15 and 20 years ago where we taught kids about healthy touch and bad touch and how to report it. We’ve wiped out funding for mental-health services for families that are economically distressed, which is a factor that may lead someone to cross a boundary that they wouldn’t have crossed before.

“In the macro sense, yeah, we’ve missed the mark here and we’re allocating way too much money in an area where the bang for the buck is minimal compared to where the real risk level is,” Killen-Harvey said.

His point on prevention is an important one. Eighty-seven percent of sex crimes committed each year are first-time offenses by people who aren’t already known to the police. It’s a statistic that turns public policy on its head—why put all the attention on the guys we already know about?

“There are agencies out there that have demonstrated that if you do a good public health, public awareness campaign, including a [hotline for] people who are afraid they might hurt a child… you can actually reduce the incidence of sexual assault in your community,” said Marian Gaston, the public defender. “Why wouldn’t we spend money on that? And instead, we’re busy spending how many millions of dollars on GPS for people who are in their 60s and who are statistically just not going to do it again.”

Then there’s the issue of treatment. The public’s perception is that treatment doesn’t work—a sex offender is a sex offender for life. But not everyone who molests a child fits the clinical definition of a pedophile, for one thing—sometimes other self-destructive factors drive behavior, like drug addiction. Recent studies have shown that, for repeat offenders, therapy does, in fact, lead to lower recidivism rates. California, however, is one of the few states that don’t offer in-custody treatment; only once a person’s released from custody is treatment mandated. It’s puzzling, given that Jessica’s Law is putting people behind bars longer.

The California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation has plans to build a new locked treatment facility for sex offenders, but, as the state’s Sex Offender Management Board pointed out in its January report, nothing’s moved beyond the planning stage. Anyone who falls into the category of “sexually violent predator,” based on a pre-release assessment, is turned over to one of two state mental hospitals, rather than paroled, where the individual goes through a multi-phase treatment program, is reassessed and then, if he’s found by a judge to be stable enough, released back into the community.

Once someone’s off probation or parole, treatment ends and it’s rare that those who need it will seek it voluntarily, said Shess, the deputy district attorney.

“We did an experiment through the [county’s] Sexual Offender Management Council, offering resources to people who felt like stresses—whatever it was in their life that might be putting them in a situation where they might re-offend—and no one took advantage of it.” The counseling wasn’t free, but it would have been low-cost, Shess said. And, even then, the county would have made arrangements for someone who couldn’t afford to pay. “We didn’t even get that far. Nobody called to say, ‘Hey I’m a prior offender, I’m feeling like I might need help—no one.”

Around 90 percent of sex offenders aren’t under state or county supervision, Kubicek noted. “The 10 percent that are on parole are receiving the best supervision available,” he said. “My concern is, how do we enforce the 90 percent who are receiving no supervision, who are just registering?”

One might assume that when a sex offender goes in to register with the police each year (or, each month if he’s a transient), there might be a brief talk with a counselor or some other kind of assessment that happens. But, aside from an initial assessment when an individual first registers, there’s not much follow-up. The city of San Diego has only five officers dedicated to the sexual-assault unit (which includes sex-offender management): one sergeant (Mark Sullivan), two detectives and two code-compliance officers who staff the office where more than 100 people go to register each week.

What if, rather than putting restrictions on where a sex offender can live and move about town—strategies whose effectiveness isn’t supported by evidence—the City Council pledged to fund a risk-assessment counselor for the police department? Sure, money’s short, but it’s hard to argue when it comes to protecting kids. Hire an intake counselor or set up a hotline that someone like my mom could call to find out how to respond when her kid says the babysitter’s asking her to do things she doesn’t understand.

Another thing to think about: It’s difficult to turn in a friend or relative when you know that, unlike any other crime, this is one that will follow the person around for the rest of his life. Would my mom have turned the guy over to police if it meant a lifetime of public scrutiny and, in essence, banishment?

Probably not.

April 15, 2008
Kelly Davis
http://www.sdcitybeat.com/

When It Comes To Sex, Some Men Are From Mars, Others From Venus

A study by researchers at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction at Indiana University finds that men report a variety of different experiences involving sexual desire and arousal.

Men participating in focus groups expressed a range of experiences and feelings relating to such matters as the relationship between erections and desire, the importance of scent and relationships, and a woman's intelligence. The Kinsey Institute study, appearing in the April issue of the journal "Archives of Sexual Behavior," is unique because few studies so far have examined how closely the findings of decades of laboratory studies on sex actually reflect the experiences of men.

"We have a lot of assumptions about how men think and feel and behave sexually," said Erick Janssen, associate scientist at the Kinsey Institute. "We use all kinds of methods to measure men's sexual responses; in addition, we use questionnaires and surveys to ask about sexual behaviors. It's less common to sit down with men and ask them to talk about their experiences."

The focus groups involved 50 men divided into three groups based on their age (18-24 years, 25-45 years and 46 and older). Below are some examples of the different experiences reported by the men:

• Some factors, such as depression or a risk of being caught having sex, were reported by some men as inhibiting sex, while other men found that they can enhance their desire and arousal.
• An erection is not the main cue for men to know they are sexually aroused. Most of the men responded that they can experience erections without feeling aroused or interested, leading researchers to suggest that erections are not good criteria for determining sexual arousal in men.
• Many men found it difficult to distinguish between sexual desire and sexual arousal, a distinction prominent in most sexual response models used by researchers and clinicians.
• The changes in the quality of older men's erections had a direct effect on their sexual encounters, including, for some, a shifting focus to the partner and her sexual enjoyment. Older men also consistently mentioned that as they aged, they became more careful and particular in choosing sexual partners.
• The sexual history of women also mattered to the men -- but differently for different age groups. Sexually experienced women were considered more threatening by younger men, who had concerns about "measuring up," but such women were considered more arousing for older men.

Janssen and his colleagues at the Kinsey Institute have been working for more than 10 years on a theoretical model that focuses on sexual excitation and sexual inhibition. They refer to this as the dual control model of sexual response. It holds that separate and relatively independent activating and suppressing sexual systems exist within the central nervous system and that the balance between these two systems determines a person's sexual response in any particular situation. Janssen relates this to the gas and break pedals in a vehicle -- both can influence a car's behavior (you can slow down by letting go of the gas or by pressing the brake) but they do so in different ways.

This model is used around the world by sex researchers in studies on topics as varied as sexual dysfunction and sexual risk taking. To measure the propensity for sexual excitation and inhibition, the researchers designed a questionnaire.

The original questionnaire was developed for men, leading researchers at the Kinsey Institute to conduct focus groups with women in an effort to create a similar questionnaire that would be more relevant for women. Janssen said the success of women's focus groups led him and his colleagues to conduct the focus groups with men.

The findings of this latest study ultimately could lead to a more effective questionnaire for the dual control model but also can inform research efforts to better understand the variability in sexual behavior.

"One of the main conclusions of the focus group study is that, just like women, men are different," Janssen said. "Sex researchers tend to focus a lot on differences between men and women, while not giving as much attention to the differences that exist among men, and women. This research is part of a larger agenda at the Kinsey Institute of looking at individual differences. This dates back to Alfred Kinsey's original research, but in our current research we not only try to capture the variations in men and women's sexual experiences -- we also try to understand better what explains variations in those experiences."

Co-authors of the study are Kimberly R. McBride, IU School of Medicine; William Yarber, Department of Applied Health Science; Brandon J. Hill, Department of Gender Studies; and Scott M. Butler, Georgia College and State University.

Adapted from materials provided by Indiana University, via EurekAlert!, a service of AAAS.

April 17, 2008
http://www.sciencedaily.com/

Not only can women have sex like men, they can buy sex like men

What to make of reports from Kenya that more and more (old, rich, white) women are traveling to the country solely to cavort with (young, poor, black) locals?

According to Reuters — which follows two white English women, aged 56 and 64, as they troll for “big young boys who like us older girls” — the country’s tourism board isn’t pleased with the “unwholesome” situation, wherein women exchange gifts for sex. Officials stopped short of condemning it in the way they have male sex tourism, however. And the women Reuters interviews seem to see it as a far lesser crime — comparing it to ordinary courtship rituals like a man buying his female date dinner.

It’s certainly not so tame, despite sugar-coated terms for the trade like “romance tourism” and a slew of films that neuter the sexual fantasies and fetishes which many female pleasure-seekers want to fulfill. Before “How Stella Got Her Groove Back” there was “Shirley Valentine,” a British housewife bored of preparing her husband’s meals, who wins a vacation and finds her groove with a Greek man. Even the gritty, straightforward “Vers le Sud” — featuring the ever-experimental Charlotte Rampling — explores what happens when the female sex tourist feels romantic and even falls in love. 

Responses to the female sex tourism trend vary from disgust to vague unease. No one’s willing to make this out as a victory for feminism, even if it’s a case of women acknowledging sexual desires and having purses of their own to gratify them. (Heidi Fleiss would be proud, and possibly annoyed that her future clientele can find the frisson they seek for cheap overseas.) And it's older women at that—not the ones who are usually chided for "having sex like men."

I’m going to put my vote in the “vague unease” camp. The acts can be considered consensual or, at worst, mutually exploitative. Establishing consent is a bit easier here than where men are concerned, as Catherine Price noted on Salon, since a female purchaser is unlikely to have the physical power of a man, and can’t dominate or abuse her escort. (In any case, danger is probably a desired part of the female sex tourism package.)

But mostly I’m uneasy because the United Nations links the sex tourist trade—mostly male, but also female — to severe child exploitation of both boys and girls in Kenya. Also, prostitution is illegal in Kenya — though, as one Kenyan official notes, unofficial exchanges of hotel stays and meals for compliments and sex may not qualify. Then there’s the reluctance to use condoms despite Kenya’s 6.9% AIDS rate.

And more abstractly, there’s the obvious racial fetishes sex tourism perpetuates. Even Reuters wasn’t immune. The article says that one solicited Kenyan male named Joseph resembled an “Olympic basketball player.” (They all look alike, don’t they?) The story then describes a dance club as filled with “Joseph look-alikes.” (Hey, they do all look alike!)

April 18, 2008
http://opinion.latimes.com

Does your face talk about sex?

Men, beware!

For a woman, one look is enough to make out whether you’re wooing her just for a one-night stand or marriage.

Researchers at the Durham University have carried out a study and found that a person’s attitude to sex are written all over the face – in fact, the clues lie in the shape of the jaw, the size of the nose and the shape of the eyes.

According to the study’s lead author Lynda Boothroyd, “It’s possible to judge someone’s sexual strategy simply from looking at their face. This shows these initial impressions may be part of how we assess potential mates – or potential rivals – when we first meet them.”

The researchers came to the conclusion after surveying 700 men and women in their early 20s. The participants were all asked to look at photographs of the opposite sex and judge how attractive they’re and what their attitudes to sex might be.

The answers were compared with the real-life behaviour and attitudes of the people in the images. The researchers found that instant perceptions not only had a role in people’s selection of partners, but that their interpretation of faces was more often right than wrong when determining the attitude towards one-night stands.

21 Apr 2008
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/

Britain to keep tabs on sex lives of citizens

 LONDON: The Brown administration's 'big brother' policy has reached Orwellian proportions with privacy a thing of the past for Britons.

Following it's biometric ID cards, surveillance cameras and national DNA database, the government will now snoop on the sex life of its citizens with probing questions about promiscuity and contraception.

British government inspectors are to pry into the intimate details of more than 500,000 people a year, asking a series of probing questions about their sex lives and earnings, according to Daily Mail. Snooping officials will want to know about previous sexual partners, contraception, and how long couples lived together before marriage.

The 2,000-question survey from office for national statistics will raise major concerns about privacy -especially as data will be with respondents' names and addresses.

Some of the questions seem remarkably insensitive. One asks: "Have you ever had a baby - even one who only lived for a short time?" Interviewers are told starkly: "Exclude: Any stillborn; Include: Any who only lived for a short time." Civil servants claim the sensitive personal information will be made anonymous once it is processed at the department's headquarters in Newport, South Wales.

Investigators conducting the survey - at a cost of more than £3.5million a year - will visit 200,000 homes at random each year and question each occupant - about 500,000 individuals altogether. They have questions on contraception alone, such as whether men have had vasectomies and brands of pill women take.

April 22, 2008
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com

Oslo offers best price for sex

The average price for a "number" in Oslo is NOK 500 (USD 100), compared to NOK 160 in Germany, which is considered an attractive land for pimps and prostitutes from the EU.

According to newspaper Aftenposten's sources, Norwegian customers are willing to pay far more for sex than those in other European cities.
Norway's welfare system and its buying power have given it the reputation as Europe's most attractive prostitution market.

Women from Bulgaria have become the largest-growing group of prostitutes in Oslo, reports Aftenposten, mostly from "Romani" (or "Gypsy") families.

The Bulgarian invasion began after Norwegians discovered Bulgaria as a place to go on vacation, starting from about 2003, says Aftenposten.

But although the prices are high in Oslo, they have been pressed down in recent years because of the flow of foreign women into the market.

Meanwhile, the Norwegian government has put forth a plan to make purchase of sexual services illegal in Norway, as well as in other countries.

The proposal has not yet been made into law, but it has a majority support in the parliament.

"People are not commodities," said Justice Minister Knut Storberget, "and criminalizing the purchase of sexual services will make it less attractive for people-traders to look towards Norway."

April 23, 2008
http://www.aftenposten.no

Mother's diet can help determine sex of child: study

PARIS (AFP) — Oysters may excite the libido, but there is nothing like a hearty breakfast laced with sugar to boost a woman's chances of conceiving a son, according to a study released Wednesday.

Likewise, a low-energy diet that skimps on calories, minerals and nutrients is more likely to yield a female of the human species, says the study, published in Proceedings of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, Britain's de facto academy of sciences.

Fiona Mathews of the University of Exeter in Britain and colleagues wanted to find out if a woman's diet has an impact on the sex of her offspring.

So they asked 740 first-time mothers who did not know if their unborn foetuses were male or female to provide detailed records of eating habits before and after they became pregnant. The women were split into three groups according to the number calories they consumed per day around the time of conception.

Fifty-six percent of the women in the group with the highest energy intake had sons, compared to 45 percent in the least-well fed cohort.

Beside racking up a higher calorie count, the group who produced more males were also more likely to have eaten a wider range of nutrients, including potassium, calcium and vitamins C, E and B12.

The odds of an XY, or male outcome to a pregnancy also went up sharply "for women who consumed at least one bowl of breakfast cereal daily compared with those who ate less than or equal to one bowl of week," the study reported.

These surprising findings are consistent with a very gradual shift in favor of girls over the last four decades in the sex ratio of newborns, according to the researchers.

Previous research has shown -- despite the rising epidemic in obesity -- a reduction in the average energy uptake in advanced economies. The number of adults who skip breakfast has also increased substantially.

"This research may help to explain why in developed countries, where many young women choose low calorie diets, the proportion of boys is falling," Mathews said.

The study's findings, she added, could point to a "natural mechanism" for gender selection.

The link between a rich diet and male children may have an evolutionary explanation.

For most species, the number of offspring a male can father exceeds the number a female can give birth to. But only if conditions are favourable -- poor quality male specimens may fail to breed at all, whereas females reproduce more consistently.

"If a mother has plentiful resources, then it can make sense to invest in producing a son because he is likely to produce more grandchildren than would a daughter," thus contributing to the survival of the species, explains Mathews.

"However, in leaner times having a daughter is a safer bet."

While the mechanism is not yet understood, it is known from in vitro fertilisation research that higher levels of glucose, or sugar, encourage the growth and development of male embryos while inhibiting female embryos.

April 24, 2008

7 Reasons Your Boss Should Send You to Sex Conferences

When it comes to technology, it's the great unfulfilled needs that matter most. That's where the next fortunes will be made. But if you're in the tech biz, how do you know what users want if you're hanging out with techies all the time?

You turn to sex. Here are seven reasons why your tech company should send you to sex conferences like Sex 2.0, Arse Elektronica and Sex in Video Games rather than to mainstream events like this week's Web 2.0 Expo.

1. You'll learn what people do with tech in private.

Even if your company springs for usability testing and focus groups, people aren't going to admit what they do when they think no one's watching. My friend who put an extra monitor in her office so she could dedicate one screen just to Facebook isn't going to reveal at a technology summit what she does with it at night. At a sex conference, however, that personal information can become a bona fide user case study.

2. Tech adapted for sex has applications outside the bedroom.

A tech conference exposes you to ideas people have already had. A sex conference exposes you to people who aren't afraid to ask for what they want, no matter how technically improbable it seems. You can use your tech-savvy brain to adapt these desires for general usage and present them to your boss. Meanwhile, you can create a sex-specific application on the side, knowing you have a willing user base waiting breathlessly for your next release.

3. Social-media platforms are built for sex.

If an application becomes crucial to lovers, they will have no problem coming up with genuine reasons to integrate that tool into their work flow. And once corporate users are on board, the paper millions are just an IPO away.

4. Young people -- your future customers -- do it with tech.

There's money in bridging old-school romance with new media, and the sex-positive community knows how to make that leap better than anyone. When today's youth get out of school, they're going to remake the world the way they want it -- and that means tech will be an essential ingredient in courtship, romance and sex. It's so essential to young people's communication now that they don't even realize they're doing it. And this is at a time when they're still spending most of their time surrounded by their peers. Just wait until they're out of school and in the workforce.

5. Sex bloggers reveal more than other people. A lot more.

Users in focus groups don't always possess the communication skills to get their true messages across. They also don't know what they don't know. Sex bloggers, on the other hand, are happy to communicate their needs, in minute detail, to someone they believe can satisfy them. Buy them a drink after-hours and you're in for something more fulfilling than the most comprehensive requirements-gathering meeting ever.

6. Sex conferences are tech conferences.

Until recently, sex conventions fell into two basic categories: medicinal/clinical and pornographic. Now, social-media pioneers are creating smaller, targeted gatherings that treat sexuality and technology as inseparable. Five years from now, this won't be shocking. And the gatherings won't be that small, either. Not that size matters.

7. Sex conferences happen in 3-D fantasy worlds made manifest.

Many of the most exciting exchanges happen after-hours at tech conferences. But more and more, organizers are holding serious sex-tech conferences in adults-only venues like swinger clubs and BDSM playgrounds. Observing how people interact professionally and personally in these spaces gives rise to many ideas for making your virtual environment stickier. Virtual world entrepreneurs know that whiz-bang wares can bring people in, but only relationships can entice them to come regularly.

Bonus reason: You might have a sexual experience of your own.

Granted, this reason isn't likely to go over well if you include it on the list of why your boss should approve your trip to a sex expo. While people who go to sex conferences can't be written off as a bunch of perverts who invent tax-deductible reasons to get together for wild orgies, we all know that going too long without a loving touch is a drag. It makes us too irritable, tense and depressed to perform our best on the job. Isn't that the major criticism of tech-mediated relationships, high-tech jobs and constant connectivity -- that we lose touch? Personal interaction is key to building a Web 3.0 we can all be proud of.

See you at the next sex conference,

Regina Lynn

April 25, 2008
http://www.wired.com

Age, Sex, Location: Why single men have an easier shot at getting laid

Apparently meeting and picking up women is a difficult, arduous, often embarrassing, unrelenting, highly risky task. According to American blokes Ron Louis and David Copeland, who wrote the definitive guide on the subject titled How To Succeed With Women, it's so difficult that hoping to meet a woman is like "hoping your apartment will get clean, but not cleaning it". Yikes.

Yet struggling single men listen up: you don't need to give up all hope just yet. Especially if the study Sex in America: A Definitive Survey is anything to go by, because apparently it's actually easier for men to find a date than it is for women.

Just think about how extremely normal it is for men to go out on the prowl alone to approach women, offer them drinks, attempt a snog, get rejected and move onto the next femme quicker than you can order the next round of cocktails! Yet take a woman, put her in the same situation and she'll immediately be branded as a desperate, slutty, wedding-ring chasing Bridget Jones. Not that fair, is it?

So do men really have the upper hand when it comes to the dating game? ...

"Absolutely!" marvels one single man (who doesn't want to be named), who seems to be feeling the dating prowess power more than ever before. "Women are falling over us everywhere we look because they think there's a shortage of us. Whether it's the fact that they're desperate to get married, have kids or simply have someone to belong to, they all want a man to nestle into at night."

But not all men agree. The other night at a hip nightclub for a mate's birthday, one gent fastidiously complained of the difficulties modern men face when it comes to finding a long-term date.

"It's so difficult to pick up because all the women have heard all the lines before," he tells me after discovering I'm a dating columnist. "Our dream as men is for a woman to ask us out, and it only happens once in a lifetime. I dream about that time."

When I ask him what his tactics are, his face lightens up. "Well I've read this amazing book which teaches these awesome moves," he smiles cheekily.

"The Game?" I ask, rolling my eyes.

"Yes! How did you know?" he asks, shocked that I'm one step ahead. And yet despite discovering this little tidbit about me, proceeds to use the lines straight from the book anyway.

"So can I ask a woman's opinion on something ...."

Sadly, it seems that good ol' book has made every club-hopping man into an exact pick-up artist clone of the inimitable Neil Strauss as they attempt to mirror his pick-up artistry success. Yet considering it only works with a cold approach, then they might as well give up now because the Sex in America survey also stated that picking up in a club or pub only works for a paltry 2 per cent of the single male population! (Of course the stakes change the later it gets as it becomes easier it is to meet women thanks to the "beer goggles" effect.)

So why then does the survey reckon it's easier for men to pick-up than it is for women?

"Perhaps it's because they try harder than us," muses my perpetually single friend Wendy. "I see them in my yoga class doing the Sirshasana and winking at the girl next to them. I see them in the underwear sections of department stores asking for advice for presents for their mums. And I see them walking their dogs in the park. It's swoonworthy!"

And indeed she might have a point. If we go by the theories of authors Louis and Copeland, then men are being advised to roam books stores, fumble their way through cooking classes and attend church all in the name of meeting women. (Apparently women who pray like to have "sex like bunnies".)

Then there's the age thing.

While older men seem to have the gamut of women to pick from, (anything from 18 upwards to their own age and even a few years above is usually acceptable for most), for women it's a little harder. The older we get, the more we're restricted we are of our choices of men. As my single builder friend Freddy tells me, "Even if you're young, we'll always be looking over our shoulder for someone younger." Ouch.

Yet at 42, Freddy admits that anything under 25 is too young in his books. "Dating someone half my age seems like such a cliche, although women that age do hit on me once in a while."

But ladies, don't give up trying altogether just yet because there's also good news for us gals, although maybe not in the pick-up department.

The BBC news reports on a study that found that single women do less housework than those in a relationship. That's because once a couple begins to live together, the hours men spend on housework decline, while the mess continues to climb. So while coupled-up women spend 15 hours a week on chores, single chicks only spend 10.

Single women also own more of their own homes and according to McGrath Estate Agents principal John McGrath who spoke to Domain.com.au, while single women made up 4 to 5 per cent of buyers a decade ago, "today, in some areas, they make up to 25 per cent of buyers".

Perhaps all that's left is the need to get up the courage to ask the men out ourselves ...

Is it harder for men or women to date and pick-up? What's your age limit both older and younger? Should women ask men out? And where's the best place to pick-up?

Samantha Brett
April 29, 2008
http://blogs.smh.com.au/

Daily pill to bring back spontaneous sex

Aussie couples will soon be able to reinvigorate their love life with a daily pill that the manufacturer promises will bring back spontaneous sex.

The erectile dysfunction (ED) drug Cialis has been approved in a once-a-day formulation designed for men who have sex at least twice a week.

The drug differs from standard Cialis and Viagra tablets, which are taken before a planned sexual interlude.

Manufacturer Eli Lilly is marketing the new product as the latest tool for sexual spontaneity, as men on this regime will be able to have intercourse without advance planning.

The drug, the first of its kind approved by the Therapeutic Goods Administration, will cost about $190 for a pack of 24 pills.

Professor Doug Lording, an andrologist at Melbourne's Cabrini Hospital, backs the drug saying continuous 24/7 coverage promotes a more "real" sexual experience.

"This is an important new option for men with ED because it separates the pill from the pillow, which can give them back a more natural sexual experience with flow-on benefits to their overall wellbeing," Prof Lording said.

The consumer support group, Impotence Australia, welcomes the drug's approval, with chief executive Brett McCann saying ED has a definite impact on Australians' ability to enjoy spontaneous sex.

An industry-funded Galaxy poll of 800 Australians released at the launch found 74 per cent of men rated spontaneity an important part of sex.

Almost 90 per cent of Aussie women said they preferred spontaneous sex over planned intimacy - a good insight for men, as the survey showed that taking advantage of unscheduled opportunities increases their chances of having sex.

About two million Australian men suffer ED, a problem triggered by blood vessel constriction or a blockage limiting penis blood flow.

Erection drugs work by targeting an enzyme to amplify blood flow to the penis.

Brisbane-based medical sex therapist Dr Jane Howard welcomed the once-a-day formulation and said trials had indicated efficacy and safety was in line with the on-demand formula.

The most common side-effects of both products include upset stomach, back pain, muscle ache, flushing and nasal congestion.

AAP
April 29, 2008
http://www.smh.com.au

Indians low on sexual pleasure

NEW DELHI: An international survey on sexual well-being claims that only 46% Indians experience an orgasm almost every time they have sex. In comparison, couples from other Asian nations like China, Hong Kong and Japan are worse off, being least likely to reach an orgasm every time during sex.

While less than a quarter, or 24%, of those surveyed from China and Hong Kong achieved an orgasm during every session of intercourse, they were closely followed by the Japanese (27%). Singapore too ranked poorly with those polled saying they only reached orgasm 36% of the time.

However, while 55% of Indian males almost always climax during sex, women get a worse deal with only 26% almost always achieving orgasm.

According to the survey, Italians, Spaniards and Mexicans enjoyed the most number of orgasms. They were tied for top place, achieving orgasms 66% of the time. The French came 48% of the time — the global average — the survey said.

According to the survey which polled 26,000 people in 26 countries, the humble orgasm was also found key to feeling good about oneself. Quite simply, the more orgasms you have the better you feel in general, the survey said.

The Durex Sexual Well-being Survey found that, globally, 58% of those who usually achieve orgasm were content with the emotional aspects of their sex life compared with 29% of those who rarely climax. Eight in 10 (77%) who frequently orgasm feel close to their partner during sex — a figure that falls to 54% for those who have difficulty hitting the spot.

Indians are also feeling the benefits of orgasm, with 84% feeling at ease with themselves sexually and 72% of them experiencing sound psychological health.

This compares well with other countries: 50% of British and 74% of French people who usually orgasm enjoy good psychological health while a whopping 9 in 10 (88%) Spaniards feel at ease with themselves sexually. The survey also found that a massage can be effective in reaching an orgasm.

30 April 2008
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/

Australia Will Recognize Same-Sex Couples in Tax, Pension Laws

The Australian government said today it plans to remove discrimination against same-sex couples from about 100 laws covering taxation, welfare and employment entitlements, meeting an election pledge.

Under the proposed changes, gays in long-term relationships will be treated the same as other de facto couples, Attorney- General Robert McClelland said in a statement.

Other areas where discrimination will be removed include superannuation, social security, health, aged care, veterans' entitlements and workers' compensation. The government has no plans to allow same-sex marriages, his office said.

The changes will ``make a practical difference to the everyday lives of a group of our fellow Australians who have suffered discrimination under Commonwealth laws for far too long,'' McClelland said.

The government, which won office in November, will begin introducing legislation in Parliament next month and expects all the changes to be implemented by mid-2009, according to the statement. In some areas, such as tax and social security, the changes will be phased-in to allow time for couples to adjust their finances.

``The changes will provide for equality of treatment under a wide range of Commonwealth laws between same-sex and opposite- sex de facto couples,'' McClelland added.

April 30, 2008
Ed Johnson
http://www.bloomberg.com

Four in ten Brit men find sex too troublesome

Those who said that men only have sex on their mind, might have to munch their own words, for now experts have claimed that a large fraction of men today find too much trouble with having sex.

Four out of ten men who approach relationship counsellors for help have confessed that though they are still physically able to make love, they just don't want to be bothered about sex.

“Men used to come to us with impotence but Viagra has sorted that. What we have is a lot of men who say, as women did in the 50s, ‘I can have sex, but I don’t want to. It’s not rewarding’,” the Mirror quoted Peter Bell, of Relate, as saying.

In fact, fifty percent of men he sees complain of a total lack of libido, something completely unheard of 10 years back. And all these men are married and are between the ages of 30-50.

One of his client, a 43-year-old graphic designer from Newcastle , told him: “I still love my wife but I don’t want to make love with her any more.”

While high rates of depression in men aged 30-50 can be considered as one of the reasons for such a trend, this phenomenon can also be attributed to long working hours and stress.

“People can find it impossible to switch off and relax, said Professor Cary Cooper, head of British Association of Counselling.

ANI
May 5, 2008
http://www.thaindian.com/

Casual Sex, Can You Handle It?

For some people, the one-night stand -- the "it just happened" moment -- is the most enviable of sexual romps.

But it's also one of the most mine-ridden of carnal pursuits. Whether hot and exciting or empty and meaningless, casual sex isn't for everyone.

So approach with caution. Before you play this game, it’s wise to read up on the rules of engagement.

Click here to discuss this story.

With no maintenance, no commitment, little time investment, and the potential to gratify sexual urges, casual sex appeals to a number of adults who are too busy, too burned out, or too bummed about love to pursue more traditional relationships.

Sexual desire, sexual experimentation, physical pleasure and alcohol use are also among the reasons many men and women cite for engaging in casual sex.

Yet, there are gender differences associated with such sex play. Casual sex makes many men feel attractive and wanted, but women often say it makes them feel less attractive.

Research confirms that men have more permissive attitudes toward casual sex than women. Furthermore, men tend to have casual sex for social-environmental reasons, like status enhancement or peer pressure.

Women, on the other hand, are more likely to have casual sex for interpersonal reasons; they may hope that the sex partner will commit for the long term, or they may have the need to feel empowered. Still, women rank sexual pleasure as the most appealing aspect of casual sex.

Overall, casual sexers consider this form of intimacy a great way to test out different partners with varying techniques. They love the spontaneity and unpredictability of the situation. Most say they would not engage in casual sex again with the same person.

Yet at the end of the day, a steady love relationship is seen as more emotionally satisfying than intense, passionate nights of the casual sort type.

Can You Handle Casual Sex?

As those who have “been there, done that” will tell you, casual sex is not every lover’s cup of tea. People can have different expectations, emotions can come into play, and any sign of disrespect can turn into trouble. Your ability to handle a casual liaison depends upon your comfort with nonchalant sex, whom you’re with and why you’re attracted to it at a given moment in your life.

That’s why it’s so important to consider the following checklist. The more checks you have, the better you can come away from casual sex unscathed:

— Are you looking for sex that involves less emotional responsibility and intimacy?

— Are you willing to have sex that may not be as emotionally and/or physically satisfying as sex with a committed partner?

— Are you a fairly emotionally detached individual, not touched by others?

— Can you come away from a casual sexual escapade feeling fulfilled, content and glowing?

— Can you guarantee yourself (and your partner) that you’re not going to want more from this encounter?

— Can you guarantee yourself that you’re not going to fall emotionally for a casual sex partner just because you’ve been intimate?

— Do you have no qualms about having sex with somebody you’ve just met?

— Are you comfortable with the health risks that are involved in a non-monogamous relationship?

— Can you handle the stigma society puts on people who engage in casual sex?

Some of these may seem harsh, but it’s important to be honest about the situation.

People often underestimate their emotional needs and the emotions that can arise from casual relations. You need to know where you’re at, what you’re in for, and whether your greater needs can be met from these erotic engagements.

Casual Sex Etiquette

Feeling like a pretty good candidate for casual sex? Think you’ve found somebody who is game?

In pursuing such a rendezvous, be sure to consider all of the following pointers on etiquette. It will only save you lots of grief and trouble, and make your sexual adventures all the better and easier to navigate. After all, you are dealing with another human being, and emotions always somehow come into play ...

-- Approach the situation with caution, taking care to respect the other person.

-- Consider the expectations you have about casual sex. You cannot see yourself as having a future with this individual, and vice-versa. If you want a future with this person, then don’t start out so casually.

-- Communicate. State your expectations.

-- Don’t feel used, as you are also using. Own the situation and milk it for what it’s worth. Casual sex is not for the fragile.

-- Watch your alcohol intake, since drinking too much can increase your chances of engaging in behaviors you’re not ready for. Plus, alcohol can muddle your feelings about the situation, opening an emotional floodgate.

-- Always practice safe sex. Use condoms or dental dams, which are small, thin, square pieces of latex that can be used for oral sex. “Souvenirs” in the form of STDs are not necessary.

-- Plan for a graceful and easy exit when you’re tired of playing. You never know when you might want to come back to this lover for more …

May 5, 2008
Yvonne K. Fulbright
http://http://www.foxnews.com

Sue Johanson ending `Talk Sex' on Oxygen after six seasons

NEW YORK (AP) — Sunday night is getting less steamy.

Oxygen's "Talk Sex" call-in show with colorful septugenarian educator Sue Johanson is ending its run after six seasons, the network announced Tuesday.

The final show airs at midnight Sunday.

"I'm going to miss it terribly," Johanson told The Associated Press. "It's been part of my life and I just love it. I'm going to miss writing scripts. I'm going to miss having to read books. I'm going to miss playing with sex toys."

Her final show will count down the year's top 10 sex toys.

Her show, derived from a Canadian radio program that began in 1984, offered practical advice and the latest information on sexually transmitted diseases. It was all the more colorful hearing it from a Toronto-based nurse who looked and sounded like your grandmother.

Now 77, Johanson said she had to recognize that 1 a.m. (when her shows ended) was not her finest hour. Since it's a call-in show, taping the show earlier didn't make sense.

"I have been on television for 32 years," she said. "I think it's time. I figured if we haven't got it by now, we're not going to get it. We've got to make room for somebody else."

She said she enjoyed working with Oxygen and wasn't pushed out. The only editing Oxygen ever did was to urge her not to use a particular slang for penis.

"Talk Sex" is Oxygen's most-popular late-night show, and its ratings among young viewers this season were the best ever, the network said.

Material from the show will continue to be available on Oxygen's Web site and on demand.

Johanson said she isn't retiring and will continue to give lectures. "I'm a ham," she said. "I love a large audience."

May 7, 2008
DAVID BAUDER
AP

Accused 'may have been sex-sleeping'

A PSYCHIATRIST, testifying at the trial of a man accused of grossindecency and intercourse without consent, accepted the man may have suffered "sexsomnia" which caused him to have sex with a woman while he was asleep.

Lester Walton was giving evidence via video-link at the trial of Leonard Andrew Spencer, 48, who is accused of entering the bedroom of a guest at his home at Nhulunbuy, in northeast Arnhem Land, on the morning of June 2 last year.

Mr Spencer has pleaded not guilty in the Northern Territory Supreme Court in Darwin, claiming that he had no recollection of the event.

Dr Walton said memory loss was "a hallmark of somnambulist behaviour", which was "better known as sleepwalking but includes sleeptalking and a range of other activities".

He said he had dealt with two or three cases of "sex-sleep", as the condition is known, in his 30 years as a doctor but in his early days did not recognise it as a phenomenon.

The first scientific paper describing sex-sleep was published in 1996. "It's reasonably well established that sexual behaviour can form part and parcel of somnambulism," Dr Walton said.

Based on interview transcripts between police and Mr Spencer, Dr Walton formed the view it was possible Mr Spencer suffered one of the primary "parasomnia" disorders in which abnormal behaviour, including recurring nightmares, sleep-terror, walking, talking, driving, eating and sexual activity, could occur.

He said there were five recognised stages of sleep and it was in stage three or four, when sleep was deepest, that somnambulists became active.

Mr Spencer's estranged wife had given evidence that he would sleepwalk on a monthly basis, walking into his son's room and urinating in a basket or in the bathroom sink.

She described one occasion when Mr Spencer tried to grope her when she believed him to be asleep. Dr Walton said he thought the ex-wife's testimony about Mr Spencer's sleep behaviour "quite convincing".

From what he had gleaned from interview material, Dr Walton said, Mr Spencer was depressed over his marriage break-up, suffered sleep deprivation and was on prescription medication, all of which were "potential triggers for sex-sleep".

Mr Spencer had been drinking heavily the night before the alleged assault.

Dr Walton agreed excessive alcohol consumption usually cancelled out somnambulistic episodes but he said Mr Spencer, who had gone to sleep about 1.30am and allegedly entered the woman's bedroom at 7.20am, may have slept off the effects of the alcohol by then.

Prosecutor Paul Usher began summing up to the jury by agreeing there was no DNA evidence of a sexual assault. But he said three months before the alleged event, Mr Spencer had put his hand on the thigh of the complainant as her boyfriend stepped outside.

On June 2, Mr Usher said the complainant awoke thinking the man in her bed was her boyfriend but quickly realised something was wrong.

"He was not in a state of sleep-sex or sleepwalking," Mr Usher said. "He had the full intention to commit the act."

The trial continues.

May 9, 2008
Paul Toohey
http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au

French Sex Lessons

Springtime in Paris, blah blah blah. Despite their proclivity for swing clubs, kinky saunas, and other libertine pleasures, it turns out the citizens of the supposedly most romantic city on earth aren't all born Romeos and sex kittens. Love coaches, bondage, spanking, and sex toy lessons at the city's chicest sex shops: here's a list of useful addresses where Parisians go to keep up their reputations as the sluttiest people on the planet.

Pity the poor out-of-luck French dude who can't score a date despite his supposedly god-given talent for romance. But the impotent and love-starved are out there walking the Paris streets. And to rescue them, an underground society of entrepreneurial "seduction coaches" have started holding seminars for the sexually insecure, charging them beaucoup euros for methodical approaches to seducing women.

Local evangelist of the American Mystery Method Sébastien Night addresses such French-specific dating concerns as: Do you tutoyer your desired prey or stick with the more formal vous when making a come-on? Should you say Excusez-moi before approaching a girl, as you would a shopkeeper, or just go for it with a bold "Bonjour"? "We are the pilots of the airplane," says traveling love coach Night, who traverses France giving his Seduction by Night seminars to small groups of hopeful young men. "Don't wait for the girl." He offers everything from a €295 simple seminar that teaches men "the principals and techniques of seduction" to a go-for-broke €945 weekend Atelier Séduction Maestro seminar that promises a 100% money-back guarantee if you're not satisfied. "You don't have to be handsome, rich or famous to seduce," promises Night.

Other love coaches we've heard about but can't vouch for: The French self-improvement media darling Spike of Spike Seduction. Coaching Seduction from Brussels-based Anthony di Milano, who makes house calls for his French clients, the majority of his business. Nicolas Doltea's Ecole de Seduction, in which Doltea gets guys out in the streets, in bars and department stores, to work on their practical technique at getting phone numbers. The serious-seeming team at Ecole Française de Séduction appears to mix business with pleasure in the seduction department. The similarly named L'Ecole de la Séductioncaters to both men and women on the make.

Finally, the slightly more genteel "Savoir-vivre au masculin et La French Galanterie" interactive workshops at La Belle Ecole promise subtle, modern, "non chi-chi" instruction in the old-world savoir-vivre, galantry, and good manners that help men get ahead in the office and in the bedroom. €75.

For girls looking for a little help with their spanking and bondage technique, Marais sex shop Dollhouse, on the rue du Roi de Sicile, has started offering workshops that include the Atelier de Bondage and Atelier Fessée (spanking). And at Passage du Désir, "un Lovestore" that sells sex toys on the Internet, and also has a boutique in the 4th, knowing what to do with your little fedora-wearing rubber duckie is not taken for granted. The kind folks at this chic modern sex shop, open every day of the year, have mounted an exhibition that runs until the end of June:Les Sextoys expliqués aux nuls (Sex Toys for Dummies) offers sex toy instruction to the estimated 80% of their clientele that have never touched un sex-toy in their lives. All this to help with the company's mission: to aid "the sustainable development of your relationship."

May 9, 2008
http://gridskipper.com/384843/french-sex-lessons

Plug 'n' play

'Teledildonics' are helping couples and complete strangers reach out and touch someone online.

Cyber sex isn't just the late-night pastime of techno-tarts, sex addicts and pedophiles.

Today, even the military thinks getting your virtual groove on is a matter of national security, says the creator of HighJoy.com, a virtual world where your vibrator meets your USB cable.

"We create the technology that allows you to control another person's vibrator over the Internet," says Amir Vatan, co-founder of HighJoy Products.

"We have thousands of members of military personnel using our products and staying intimate with loved ones. It can also alleviate problems in long-distance relationships if you have a spouse who travels regularly," he says.

Teledildonics are electronic sex toys that can be controlled via the Internet, transmitting the physical sensation of touch between remote participants.

Also known as cyberdildonics, they're the latest thing in cybersex technology. Although more crude than the Holodecks and cybersex suits that science fiction conceived of decades ago, today's devices are making virtual sex more real than ever, says a sex-tech expert.

"That mental and emotional connection you make during cybersex, even when you're just typing words or sending emoticons or photos, makes the body respond. Now there's a physical device that -- albeit still too clunky -- your partner can control, which augments the experience," says Regina Lynn, a Los Angeles-based columnist for Wired magazine.

"It not only bridges the gap between mental and physical, but now you can be stimulated without typing one-handed."

Can't make it home for a lunchtime romp with your lover? Why not put a "do not disturb" sign on your office door and log in to a private chat room for a cyber-quickie with your spouse?

"It's a nice way to send that extra-special message home from work," says Lynn. "Or if you're a soldier, you can schedule time at home with your wife and connect intimately."

Teledildonic technology has been around for awhile, but it's not progressing because of cultural barriers people have to overcome, says Lynn.

"It's just for fun. It's not intended to replace sex. We feel that only losers or weird people would do that, whereas it's the sexually adventurous, open people who are doing it," she says.

All you have to do is buy an Internet-compatible sex toy and download the appropriate software from a web browser like HighJoy.com or Sinulator.com.

Then all your partner requires is access to the Internet. The remote controls will work on a Mac or PC, Palm Pilot or even an airport kiosk, says Sinulator.com. And once you're set up, you can call or e-mail anyone anywhere and let them control your sex toy over the Internet -- should the mood arise.

There are now webcam porn girls with a teledildonic interface at Camz.com where you can pay a fee to control their toy and watch them respond to your remote "touch."

"Very soon, you will be able to post a HighJoy widget on any social networking site, like Facebook or MySpace, so that anyone who visits your profile can engage in virtual sex with you if you choose," says Vatan. "It is a tool to increase the level of interaction. Instead of just iCams or emoticons, you can reach out and tickle or fondle someone if they agree to it."

But good vibrations in cyber space come at a high price, which makes it inaccessible for most, says a Toronto sex educator.

"Teledildonics sounds great on paper or in science fiction. But until someone figures out how to make a lot of money out of it, a lot of people won't be into it," says Cory Silverberg, who will speak about the future of teledildonics at the Guelph Sexuality Conference next month.

The owner of Toronto sex shop Come As You Are, Silverberg sells over 200 different styles of vibrators, only one of which could be classified as teledildonic, he says.

The Je Joue comes with Pleasurewave software that allows you to build your own "groove" patterns online at jejoue.com, so you can "share them with friends, lovers and strangers." The toy retails for $350.

"A lot of people don't know about it. The ones we get coming in are in long-distance relationships and they don't want to cheat or lose touch with their partner," says Silverberg. "That's where the market's going to be."

He will put out a call next month to sex educators and therapists to become more involved in the future of teledildonics.

"They're just not that good yet. Sex-toy and porn companies aren't that imaginative, and the products are often poor quality. We need more sex professionals working with IT programmers if we want hardware and software that responds to our sexual needs," says Silverberg.

"By ignoring the broader emotional and physical context of sex, and only focusing on the genitals, most products will continue to come up short."

May 9, 2008
Jennifer Parks
http://www.canada.com/edmontonjournal

Fur Seal Caught Trying to Have Sex With Penguin

An Antarctic fur seal has been caught on camera trying to have sex with a penguin.

This seems to be the first known example of a sexual escapade between a mammal and another kind of vertebrate such as a bird, reptile or fish, "although some mammals are known to have attempted sexual relief with inanimate — including dead things — objects," said researcher Nico de Bruyn, a mammal ecologist at the University of Pretoria in South Africa.

One summer morning, scientists observing elephant seals on a beach on Marion Island near the Antarctic spotted a young male Antarctic fur seal subduing a king penguin.

"At first we thought it was hunting the penguin, but then it became clear that his intentions were rather more amorous," de Bruyn recalled Monday via e-mail.

The roughly 240-pound fur seal — in fact not a true seal, but instead closely related to sea lions — subdued the 30-pound adult penguin by lying on it.

The hapless bird of unknown sex struggled, rapidly flapping its flippers and attempting to stand and flee, without luck.

The fur seal then alternated between resting on the penguin and thrusting its pelvis at the bird in vain attempts to insert its penis for 45 minutes.

Natural, unsuccessful sexual escapades by this variety of fur seal with members of its own species may last as long as this penguin assault did, "but yes, it is quite a long time and thus unusual," de Bruyn told LiveScience.

The fur seal then abruptly gave up, moving to sea and completely ignoring the target of its affections. The penguin apparently did not suffer any injury.

The scientists detailed their findings in the May issue of the Journal of Ethology.

Sexual harassment is common in the animal kingdom.

"Homo sapiens are often testimony to that," de Bruyn said.

Many species perform some form of sexual harassment on members of their own species, "for a variety of reasons many of which are hotly debated," he added.

Many species of seals, fur seals and sea lions are polygynous, where one male mates with many females. The males often fight each other to control females.

"This system thus promotes extreme aggression in males towards each other, and if a male cannot control a beach, this aggression may spill over to sexual aggression directed at outlying females, pups or even in rare cases other seal species," de Bruyn said.

And this sexual aggression apparently might leap well beyond the species gap.

The Antarctic fur seals of Marion Island are the only ones known that eat king penguins. The thrill of the hunt felt by the seal the researchers saw may have channeled into its sex drive, as the mating season had just come to an end.

"It may have wanted to eat [the penguin] and half-way through the chase changed its mind," de Bruyn speculated. "I personally believe the link between aggressive and sexual behavior is evolutionarily far closer linked than we currently believe. This has obvious implications for humans."

On the other hand, the amorous fur seal may simply have been sexually inexperienced and playful, and wanted practice, the researchers conjectured.

"There are many things that we do not understand about ourselves that are mirrored in other species," de Bruyn said. "Thus by continuing with research efforts on other vertebrates we could learn a great deal about the whys behind human behaviors."

May 13, 2008
Charles C. Quoi
http://www.foxnews.com

Malaysia considers teaching sex to graduates

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (AP) — Malaysia's government is worried that high school graduates may not know enough about sex.

Authorities in the conservative, Muslim-majority nation are considering teaching sex education to teenagers when they undergo national service after leaving school, Abdul Hadi Awang Kechil, director general of the National Service Department, said Wednesday.

Ng Yen Yen, the minister who announced the proposal, was quoted by the national news agency, Bernama, as saying that sex education, including lectures about preventing AIDS, could shield youngsters from unhealthy activities. Ng's aide confirmed the minister made the comments Tuesday.

Tens of thousands of boys and girls who are typically 17 or 18 years old are selected at random each year to participate in the government's national service training.

The three-month mandatory program aims to instill discipline and patriotism through community service, military-style physical training in jungle camps and other activities.

Sex is often a sensitive subject in Malaysia, where unmarried couples can be fined for kissing and hugging in public.

The Cabinet approved guidelines to teach sex education in schools two years ago, but activists say it has not been implemented. Officials had suggested teaching students how to protect themselves from sexual predators, reckless behavior and sexually transmitted diseases.

Adeeba Kamarulzaman, president of the Malaysian AIDS Council, said Wednesday that students receive inadequate information about sex in public schools, which generally only teach basic facts about reproduction during science courses.

Sex education classes in national service could prove useful because many school teachers are too embarrassed to expound on sex-related topics, she said.

"Better late than never," Adeeba told The Associated Press. "It's a good opportunity. They are at the right age to be receiving this kind of education."

May 13, 2008
AP

Viagra 'aids muscular dystrophy'

The anti-impotence drug Viagra may help save people with muscular dystrophy from an early death, a study suggests.

Researchers found the way the drug works to combat impotence may also help ward off heart failure in muscular dystrophy patients.

Tests on mice with a version of the disease showed the drug helped keep their hearts working well.

The Montreal Heart Institute study appears in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
   
It is important to remember that benefits seen in animals do not always translate into human medicine.

Muscular dystrophy is a genetic condition causing wasting of the muscles.

The first signs of muscular weakness appear at roughly age five, leading to a progressive loss in the ability to walk by the age of 13.

People with the condition are also at a higher risk of heart failure due to a weakening of the muscles which keep the organ pumping strongly.

For this reason, many people with Duchenne muscular dystrophy - the most common form of the condition - die in early life, often in their 20s or 30s.

The Montreal team found that Viagra - known technically as sildenafil - prevents the loss of a molecule, cGMP, which plays a key role in keeping blood vessels dilated.

In the penis, this increases blood flow, and helps to combat impotence.

But in the heart it helps to ensure the organ itself receives a proper supply of blood, and remains healthy and strong.

With the heart in a strong condition, it is more able to withstand the impact of weakening muscle cells caused by muscular dystrophy.

Viagra works by blocking an enzyme, PDE5, which breaks down cGMP.

Professor Jean-Claude Tardif, director of the Montreal Heart Institute Research Centre, said: "These experimental results give us hope that one day it will be possible to treat with this approach cardiac problems in patients with muscular dystrophy, and perhaps even treat other heart diseases."

The researchers also inserted a gene that increased cGMP production in the mice's heart cells, and found that this helped the animals to maintain normal cardiac function.

Dr Marita Pohlschmidt, director of research at the Muscular Dystrophy Campaign, said the research was interesting.

However, she added: "It is important to remember that benefits seen in animals do not always translate into human medicine.

"Although this is promising, it is still very early days and we look forward to further research that will demonstrate the impact it might have for people with muscular dystrophy."

13 May, 2008
http://www.bbc.co.uk

California Supreme Court overturns gay marriage ban

SAN FRANCISCO (AFP) - California's Supreme Court quashed a ban on gay marriage in a historic ruling here Thursday, effectively leaving same-sex couples in America's most populous state free to tie the knot.

In an opinion that analysts say could have nationwide implications for the issue, the seven-member panel voted 4-3 in favor of plaintiffs who argued that restricting marriage to men and women was discriminatory.

"Limiting the designation of marriage to a union 'between a man and a woman' is unconstitutional and must be stricken from the statute," California Chief Justice Ron George said in the written opinion.

The ruling added that all California couples had a "basic civil right" to marry "without regard to their sexual orientation."

Before Thursday only one US state -- Massachusetts -- allowed gay marriage, although California, New Jersey and Vermont have legislation which grants same-sex partners many of the same legal rights as married couples.

Plaintiffs and gay rights activists erupted with joy after the victory.

"It's the best day of my life, quite honestly I'm thrilled for all of us," Diane Olson said.

In San Francisco, couples immediately began lining up at the city clerk's office for marriage licenses, even though officials said they will not be able to issue any for at least 30 days, when the decision takes effect.

Thursday's ruling came after a long-running legal battle that erupted in 2000 when California voters approved a law declaring that only marriages between men and women could be legally recognized.

In February 2004, the city of San Francisco defied state law by issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples, arguing that existing laws were illegal because they violated equal rights legislation.

A court later halted the issuance of licenses and declared that same-sex marriages that took place during this period were void.

However, San Francisco and civil rights activists waged a legal case arguing that limiting marriage to opposite-sex couples was unconstitutional and that the law should be struck down.

In 2005 the San Francisco Superior Court ruled in favor of the plaintiffs, finding that there was no justification for refusing to allow marriages.

But the decision was overturned in 2006 by the California Court of Appeal, which ruled in a 2-1 decision that the state's desire to "carry out the expressed wishes of a majority" was sufficient to preserve the existing law.

California lawmakers have also voted in favor of gay marriage but the bill was vetoed by Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, who has said that the matter is for the state's court system to decide on.

Legal analysts say Thursday's court ruling could have wide-ranging implications for other US states, noting the California Supreme Court's history of landmark rulings.

"The California Supreme Court's example is often emulated and it often is sort of a groundbreaker," said David Cruz, a law professor at the University of Southern California and an expert in constitutional law.

"In the 20th century California was the first state to strike down laws against inter-racial marriage. They did that 19 years before the US Supreme Court got around to it."

But Randy Thomasson, president of the Campaign for Children and Families, reacted with dismay, insisting "marriage is naturally for a man and a woman."

"If the institution of marriage is redefined and therefore destroyed in the law, the wellbeing of children is threatened, both emotionally, socially, even physically," Thomasson added.

A coalition of religious and social conservative groups have vowed to attempt to add a vote calling for a ban on same-sex marriage when California goes to the polls in November's election.

State election officials will rule next month on whether sponsors of the vote have gathered enough signatures to force the issue onto the ballot.

"We have 1.1 million signatures," according to the Reverend Lou Sheldon, chairman of the Washington-based Traditional Values Coalition, describing the California ruling as "completely out of line."

May 15, 2008
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp

'Better than Viagra': The new libido drug which boosts sex drive AND causes arousal

Scientists claim to have discovered the secret of sexual desire in a breakthrough that could change millions of lives around the world.

They are developing a "wonder pill" to generate sex drive in both women and men who struggle with their libido.

The medication could also have the potential to boost fertility rates and is believed to have the side- effect of encouraging weight-loss.

If successful, it could outsell the market-leading impotence drug Viagra, as it bolsters the brain's desire for sex, whereas Viagra boosts only physical capability.

Loss of libido affects more than a third of women and up to one in six men, but experts report a growing problem with a decline in sexual desire among stressed-out males.

The pill would use a hormone that releases Type 2 gonadotropin, which drives the reproductive system in animals and humans.

Tests on animals have proved successful and researchers at the Medical Research Council's Human Reproductive Sciences Unit in Edinburgh are working on an equivalent for humans.

Professor Robert Millar, the unit's director, initially thought the drug would work only on women - but now believes there is no reason for it not to work on men and is planning further tests.

Professor Millar said that when female musk shrews and marmoset monkeys received injections in laboratory tests, they displayed classic mating behaviour towards their male counterparts.

In musk shrews this was shown by "rump-presentation and tail-wagging" and in monkeys it included "tongue-flicking and eyebrow-raising".

An unexpected side-effect was that the laboratory animals ate significantly less food than usual - in some cases a third less than their usual daily diet.

In the animal tests, the drug could at first be injected only into the brain. But they have now been able to inject the drug into the bloodstream instead - a crucial move towards making a human version of the drug that could be released for a global mass market.

In time, they hope to produce the drug in pill form and believe it would make Viagra, the tablet that has so far been used by 27million men around the world, redundant.

Professor Millar said: 'This drug would cut out the need for Viagra completely - Viagra does not produce desire, it simply leads to an erection but not to the desire for sex.

"This drug would arouse and produce the desire for sex at the same time, in both men and women.

"It is very exciting that we have made so much progress, as the stimulation of libido would mean a great deal to a huge number of people.

"One of the next steps will be to produce a pill, as at the moment we can only inject, although surveys show many people, particularly men, are happy to inject and diabetics seems to manage it without too much trouble.

"Certainly we want to produce an oral form of this so that it could be taken very easily by both men and women."

19th May 2008
Graham Grant
http://www.dailymail.co.uk

State pharmacy places trust in lust

Sweden’s state run pharmacy Apoteket is buzzing at the prospect of selling a new range of vibrators and other sex toys.

On Tuesday Apoteket presented the new products, which are set to hit the stores on June 23rd. The ‘Trust in lust’ range includes a pink dildo, a clitoral vibrator, Ben Wa balls, a vibrator ring, three scented lubricants and some handy wipes specially designed to clean the products.

Anyone interested in buying the full range can expect to fork out 2,500 kronor ($412) for the pleasure.

Apoteket has justified the sale of its ‘Trust in lust’ range on the grounds that sex is good for its customers’ health.

“Sex is a natural part of our lives. We want to make it something decent, something which isn’t embarrassing” said Eva Fernvall, Apoteket’s product manager.

Customers wishing to buy sex toys are currently limited to the internet or specialist stores, which are only located in big cities.

Research carried out by RFSU, the Swedish Association for Sexuality Education, showed that approximately fifty percent of people between the ages of 20-45 own a sex toy. Seventy percent of people who did not own a sex toy said they would consider buying one.

“Sexual activity is important for a person’s wellbeing and health. The most important thing is that these toys are of good quality and are safe. All pharmacy staff have already been educated in this area and will be able to inform customers”, Katarina Knutz managing director of RFSU AB, told The Local.

“There are people who are against this move but they are a minority. The majority of our customers have been very positive”, said Eva Fernvall.

There will be no age limit on any of the sex toys.

“These products will attract mainly older people. Besides, these products are too expensive for very young children. If someone who is very young tries to buy sex toys then we will have a talk with them at the checkout but we cannot stop them from purchasing anything”, Fernvall told The Local.

According to RFSU, over 200 stores have already showed an interest in stocking the new line. But to begin with the products will only be available in 100 selected stores.

May 20, 2008
TT/Ronnie Gilchrist
http://www.thelocal.se

Good vibrations!

Mr Big is a character in Sex in the City - and also the name of a sex toy launched to coincide with last week's film premiere. Sex toys are a huge market, and growing. The entire adult industry, which includes the sex-toy market, brings in between $8-12 billion each year in the US.

But the niche that is really growing is top end, designer toys, often bought by women - either for solo use or to spice up a relationship. It's all about women taking greater control of their lives, a step-change in attitudes that is now of course most apparent across Asia.

Women don't generally want to go into sleazy back streets to buy these products. Neither, it appears, do they want
pink rubber replicas of the real thing. In this world the less like  a dildo a toy looks, the better. Some labels are even aspirational, such as Coco de Mer, the exotic gear shop in Covent Garden, where you can buy a Diva crystal crop for £245, a gold-plated vibrator for $249 or a chic swirled glass number for £195.

But it is really the internet that has opened up the mass market for women where the uninitiated or timid can survey sex toys in private. When Ann Summers first went online in 1999, the erotica store sold one million vibrators in the UK in just 12 months. At the most conservative estimate, at least 2.5 million are now sold in the UK every year, and the market is growing at a rate of 20-25% per year.

May 20, 2008
Cheri Jones
http://www.iii.co.uk

Travelling with toys and other unmentionables

Traveling makes it hard to have sex. And no, I don't mean getting initiated into the mile high club.

Airline travel with sex toys and similar items has always been a bit of a gong show, but since 9/11, exactly five years ago today, and the on-going terrorist threats, the no carry-on reins have been pulled even tighter, especially when crossing borders.

Gone are the days of toting an innocuous tube of K-Y jelly in your carry-on bag (no gels allowed). But sex toys have always come under immense scrutiny; whether they pass the checks or not seems to come down to the subjective approval of one security person versus another.

Every sex toy I know of has no sharp edges or can in any way can harm a fellow passenger (unless we are speaking of S & M playthings, and that's a completely different arena).

And what about those poor, innocent people with their "strategically" placed piercing(s) who trigger the metal detector, and are pulled over to be searched? What a nightmare.

What started this rant? I recently read about the U.S. fellow who claimed he had a bomb in his bag because he didn't want to let his mother to know he was toting a penis pump.

"Cook County prosecutors say a 29-year-old man travelling with his mother desperately didn't want her to know he'd packed a sexual aid for their trip to Turkey," CNN reported. "So he told security it was a bomb."

OK, so Mr. Pump isn't the sharpest dude.

However, in 2002, on the way home from a vacation in Las Vegas, Renee Koutsouradis's newly purchased vibrator made a racket in her checked luggage. She was made to go out to the tarmac, in full view of other passengers, and hold up the vibrator while Delta personnel laughed hysterically and made comments such as, "Doesn't your husband satisfy you?" She did press charges.

Granted, this type of incident is rare. But it does raise a point. If airline personnel were to pull out other personal effects (such tampons), wave them around in full view and make inappropriate remarks, Koutsouradis's case would have become a huge harassment suit.

If her personal item happens to be a vibrator, why should it be treated any different?

The quick and easy solution would be not to pack anything sex related. I, of course, have a problem with this. Many a couple has planned a romantic getaway or wild weekend. Why should they change their plans and their potential fun because a security guard might get squirmy around their sex toys?

I'm in no way saying security and immigration officers shouldn't be doing their job. Being alert and asking questions about non-traditional carry-on items is a good thing. Yet there needs to be a more unbiased judgment and respect, because it is not illegal to take sex toys onto airplanes.

What can you do if you want to take your toy on a trip? First off, use your common sense. Remove all batteries so they don't accidentally get turned on. For all the other things without mechanical parts, packing should not be as much of an issue.

Believe it or not, I suggest carrying on your paraphernalia. And instead of getting embarrassed and mumbling lies about it being a gag gift, medical device or a bomb, tell the truth.

Sex educator Cory Silverberg (www.sexuality.about.com) writes: "I have travelled from Canada to the U.S., Mexico and the U.K. dozens of times with sex toys for workshops, and I know lots of other sex educators who have done the same and none of us (we're a mix of genders, colours, ages and tattooedness) have ever had trouble from security.

"They tend to either be embarrassed or interested. On the other hand, I've heard several stories of people's sex toys going missing from checked baggage."

Honestly, it's simply a matter of looking the security person in the eye and stating the obvious: "It's a sex toy, officer."

Your incentive could be the fact many sex toys come with a hefty price tag and it's pretty disappointing to have them confiscated.

But, whatever you do, do not become huffy or argumentative -- you will undoubtedly get yourself red flagged and put on the no-fly list. And that's no fun at all.

May 23, 2008
Dr. Trina Read
http://www.canada.com

Traders blatantly sell banned sex toys and medicines

The Jinming Border Trade Market in Hekou (China), which borders Vietnam’s northwestern Lao Cai Province, is a big market for sex toys.

Its first floor, with an area of some 2,000 square meters, has more than 200 booths selling mainly sex toys and sex medicines – items outlawed in Vietnam.

The booths display many kinds of nude rubber dolls in different postures.

As well as the exhibits, there are sex toys and sex organs in boxes – or hung outside to attract customers – as well as sex-supporting medicines.

Sinh, one of the shop owners, displays a series of items for your correspondent to choose from.

“Many people buy this,” he says, inserting batteries into a fake penis.

Then, he shows four different kinds of Viagra worth between 50 and 300 renminbis (VND90,000-VND600,000) which he says are not very good because they are counterfeit.

He advertises “Spring love,” a sex-supporting medicine he says is effective because “this special medicine contains the strength of the Chinese.”

Sinh says he supplies Viagra and “Spring love” to traders in Vietnam.

Compared with the Jinming Market, the Tan Thanh Border Economic Zone in the northeastern border Lang Son Province, which trades similar goods, has less hustle and bustle.

Entering a shop for electric appliances, we ask for sex toys for women.

The shop owner shows some suitable products as well as medicine for men with weak sex capability.

Quang, a salesman, presented a vial of brownish medicine worth VND500,000 (US$31.25).

This medicine, he says, has an immediate effect on women.

It’s supplied in large quantities to traders at Hang Chieu Market, a well-known sex toy-selling area in the old quarter of Hanoi.

Hang Chieu Market is located at one end of Hang Chieu Street in Hanoi’s Hoan Kiem District.

The market covers a distance of about 100 meters.

At night time, dozens of women sit on plastic chairs to awaiting customers.

When your correspondent dropped by, several women asked if we wanted to buy medicine or condoms.

One of them took some different types of medicine out of her bag and explained their uses and effects as if she were a pharmacist.

Then she gave us a name card, saying she could supply goods directly to our place.

The “happy” market on Hang Chieu Street has operated for nearly 10 years.

Everyone knows that many products sold there, especially sex-stimulating medicines, are illegal.

Illicit trade with diverse customers Vo Thanh Thong, a resident of Ho Chi Minh City, is allegedly the head of a trans-Vietnam group that trades sex toys and sex-stimulating medicines.

Thong has set up a company, designed a website and used his blog to expand his sales network.

The website introduces sex-support tools, sex medicines, sex toys, and sex food.

In each category of goods, Thong supplies to both male and female customers dozens of different products such as fake penises, fake vaginas, rubber people and other sex enhancement tools.

He has Viagra and related drugs, such as Cialis and VPRX for men and for women, items such as “Rock-In” and female condoms.

All the products are packed for delivery to guarantee the privacy of customers.

According to Thong’s website, the company delivers goods to customers in HCMC, Hanoi, the Mekong Delta, Hai Phong and other northern provinces.

“I have many customers in the north,” Thong says.

“I sometimes send to Hanoi two to three parcels of medicines a week, mainly erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation medicines for men.”

Customers in the north are mostly rich old people who will become loyal customers if the goods have good quality, he added.

Sometimes, Thong has women customers.

They email the company wanting to buy dildos.

They usually use indirect addresses to receive their products.

In fact, many other websites like Thong’s sell sex-related things.

Recently, Le Van Loc, 51, and Thai Quoc Viet, 31, were arrested by HCMC police for selling sex toys over the Internet.

Viet confessed to building a website to sell sex toys and medicines for men and women.

He sold products of unclear origins which were advertised as products from the US and Europe.

To the customers who placed orders of more than VND300,000 ($18.75), he supplied goods to them by post or express cars.

We discovered most of the sex medicines sold at border markets, along Hanoi’s Hang Chieu Street and over the Internet are of unclear origins.

Sellers do not care about the quality of their goods, focusing instead on money and profit.

Consumers could suffer unexpected consequences if these medicines have side effects.

May 27, 2008
Tuoi Tre
http://www.thanhniennews.com/

Flying sex toy places chess genius in check

Russian chess legend Garry Kasparov has an amazing ability to predict the next move of his opponent.

But even his brilliant mind couldn't have foreseen a flying penis interrupting him mid-speech.

The political activist and noted Kremlin critic was addressing opposition forces when a radio-controlled penis with testicles started buzzing around the room.

The sex toy — which was attached to a helicopter blade — hovered around for about 20 seconds before one of Kasparov's minders swatted it out of the air.

The Moscow Times reported the erotic aircraft was being controlled by "pro-Kremlin Young Russia activists".

Kasparov later saw the stunt's funny side, remarking that it was "below the belt".

It's not the first time a machine has troubled the chess champion.

He was involved in a much publicised running battle with chess program Deep Blue in the '90s.

The IBM-designed machine famously defeated Kasparov in a six-game match in 1997.

The Russian demanded a rematch, but IBM decided to retire the program while it was on top.

May 28, 2008
http://news.ninemsn.com.au

In 'Sex and the City,' number of sex partners true to New York life

Before Carrie puts on her Vivienne Westwood wedding dress in the new "Sex and the City: the Movie"; before Charlotte became a mom at the end of the TV series; before Smith and Harry, Steve and Big, "Sex and the City" was all about flings ... too many too count. Until now.

We did the math, punched in some numbers and calculated that during the course of 94 episodes and six seasons, the women of "Sex and the City" hit the sheets with a combined total of 94 men and one woman.

Perennially chic newspaper columnist Carrie Bradshaw and her three cohorts picked up waiters, doormen, trainers, lawyers, yoga instructors, bartenders, writers, baseball players, ophthalmologists, Realtors, artists, architects, furniture designers and unemployed actors.

Of the four women, public relations exec Samantha racked up the most sexual partners. She bedded 41 men and one woman, while Carrie hooked up with 18, Charlotte 18 and Miranda 17.

Everyone has a "number." But how many is too many and were the "Sex and the City" women oversexed?

Definitely - compared to the average American woman, who has nine sex partners in a lifetime, according to a survey by the Durex brand of condoms. But compared to the average New Yorker, they were right on target.

According to Karyn Bosnak, who researched the topic for her novel "20 Times a Lady" - about a New Yorker who vows to have sex with a maximum of 20 men - the typical New York City woman's number is twice the national average.

"Women in other parts of the country tend to get married much younger. It's not a big deal to be single in your 30s in New York," says Bosnak, "There's also the anonymity factor. You can date men from different social circles here. If you have 20 sex partners and you live in a small, rural town, that's not good.

"I stopped counting at 56," says Christine, 35, a locations director from Bayside who lives in SoHo. "There are so many opportunities to meet men here - bars, restaurants, clubs, walking down the street, the deli. Men are everywhere."

Brooklynite Linda, who has been with 13 men, agrees. "I'm married now, but when I was single, I had a blast. Sex was empowering. I once had sex on [the] F train. It was three in the morning and the car was empty. So we were like, 'Why not,'" says the 39-year- old Carroll Gardens artist.

"Manhattan tends to draw career women who typically wait longer to get married. These women usually have money, so they are not financially dependent on men. Their priorities are elsewhere," says pyschologist Victoria Zdrok, author of "Dr. Z on Scoring."

While women with digits like Samantha may keep their number to themselves, Zdrok makes the case that it's something to be proud of. "Women with higher numbers tend to be more educated, have more liberal views and higher self-esteem," she says.

Not all women think having a high number is a good thing.

"The women on 'Sex and the City' went through so many guys they devalued sex," says Crystal, 22, an exotic dancer at Rick's Cabaret in midtown. "I've seduced thousands of men, but my actual number of sex partners is one, maybe one and a half. Sex should be special."

May 29, 2008
Christy Smith
http://www.nydailynews.com/

New York Must Recognize Out-Of-State Same-Sex Marriages, Governor David Paterson Says

One day before California became the second state in the nation to legalize gay marriage, New York Governor David Paterson directed all state agencies to begin updating their regulations to recognize same-sex marriages that have been legally performed in Massachusetts, California, Canada and elsewhere.

According to The New York Times, Paterson issued the directive on May 14, less than 24 hours before the Supreme Court of California struck down that state's ban on gay marriage. The new rule in New York, which came from the governor's legal counsel, David Nocenti, tells state agencies that gay couples married outside the state "should be afforded the same recognition as any other legally performed union." The revisions to the code could cover more than 1,300 regulations in New York on everything from joint filing on tax returns to the transfer of fishing licenses between spouses.

Paterson delivered a videotaped message to gay community leaders at a dinner on May 17, in which he described the decision as "a strong step toward marriage equality." Gay-rights advocates and opponents both see the measure as the first step toward the state fully legalizing same-sex unions.

"Very shortly, there will be hundreds and hundreds and hundreds, and probably thousands and thousands and thousands of gay people who have their marriages recognized by the state," said Democratic Assemblyman Daniel O'Donnell, who has pushed for legalization of gay unions, according to the paper.

For now, Massachusetts and California are the only states that have legalized gay marriage, though Connecticut, New Jersey, New Hampshire and Vermont allow civil unions. Forty-one other states have passed laws limiting marriage to unions between a man and a woman. It is expected that the new regulations in New York will take effect by mid-June, unless a court grants a stay.

Less than two weeks after the California Supreme Court ruling, California officials said Wednesday that same-sex couples could begin obtaining marriage licenses as soon as June 17, according to CNN. The state Department of Public Health has released new marriage license forms that have lines for "Party A" and "Party B."

Talk-show host Ellen DeGeneres and actress Portia de Rossi are one of the first celebrity couples planning to take advantage of the change in the law. During a show last Thursday, DeGeneres put presumptive Republican presidential candidate John McCain — an opponent of gay marriage — on the spot about his position on the controversial issue.

"Let's talk about it; let's talk about the big elephant in the room," DeGeneres said to McCain. The senator said he supported "legal agreements" between same-sex couples, but added the caveat, "We just have a disagreement, and I, along with many, many others, wish you every happiness."

"So, you'll walk me down the aisle?" DeGeneres asked the clearly uncomfortable McCain.

"Touché," he laughed.

DeGeneres had even more fun with the topic this week during a Wednesday show, when her guests were First Lady Laura Bush and recently wed daughter Jenna Bush Hager. "So, the ranch was a great place to get married. It looked like nobody could fly over and get pictures or bother you, really," DeGeneres said of the Bush family compound in Crawford, Texas, where Bush Hager was married.

"Yeah," Bush Hager replied, "that was really nice."

"So, can we borrow it for our wedding, can we get the ranch?" asked DeGeneres. While the first lady sat quietly and didn't respond, her daughter chimed in, "Sure."

May 29, 2008
Gil Kaufman
http://www.mtv.com

The history of vibrators

From the moment that the steam-powered “Manipulator” appeared in Britain in 1870, the story of vibrators is every bit as thrilling as the devices themselves, reflecting science, medicine, design, technology and social history. I am this week giving a lecture at the Cheltenham Science Festival on the science and history of vibrators, and through my research I have come to realise that, above all, the vibrator story reflects men's changing attitudes towards women.

It starts hysterically with “womb furie”. Hippocrates thought the womb wasn't a fixed item but wandered about the body looking for trouble. At the moment of orgasm, it gripped the windpipe causing the breathless panting so familiar to watchers of When Harry Met Sally. From earliest times there was a recognised women's complaint characterised by nervousness, fluid retention, insomnia and lack of appetite. Hippocrates thought that a blockage in the womb was the cause of it, hence it was called hysteria from the Greek for womb (hysteros). Galen, a Greek physician, claimed it was caused by sexual deprivation, particularly in passionate women, and was noted in nuns, virgins, widows and occasionally in married women whose husbands were not up to the job.

Massage to “paroxysm” was the ticket. “Arising from the touch of the genital organs required by the treatment, there follows twitchings accompanied at the same time by pain and pleasure...from that time she is free of all the evil she felt,” proclaimed Galen.

The trouble was that doctors regarded this treatment as numbingly tedious. Bringing a woman to paroxysm by hand could, understandably, take for ever. It was a job that required stamina and not a little patience. And, significantly, because it took so long, it wasn't lucrative enough for doctors who needed to see many patients to achieve a reasonable income.

And masturbation (by either sex) was regarded as wrong. It was not only a moral affront but something that was thought of as constitutionally dangerous, enfeebling mind and body. “Women [with hysteria] should not resort to rubbing,” said Avicenna, the Muslim scholar and founder of early modern medicine. It was, he advised, “a man's job, suitable only for husbands and doctors”.

A vibrating sphere did the business

By the late 19th century spas had introduced water treatments to do the job more efficiently. A scary French pelvic douche from about 1860 involved what looks like a high-pressure fire hose, trained on the clitoris. It claimed to induce paroxysm in less than four minutes. If marriage wasn't delivering the goods, rickety trains, rocking chairs or horse riding were advised for nervous women as gynaecological Dyno-Rodding techniques. But if the 2.20 from Tooting failed to oblige, there was no option but recourse to a medical man. Given that many in the medical profession thought that as much as 75 per cent of the female population were “hysterical” and that it was a chronic disease which could be relieved but not cured, there was a pressing need for cheaper, less cumbersome devices. By the mid-1870s, steam power had been explored. “The Manipulator” was a table with a cut-out area for the woman's pelvis. A vibrating sphere driven by a steam engine then did the business. But like the hydrotherapies, it was not suitable for the doctor's treatment room. It was a niche market poised for exploitation.

The first British vibrator was manufactured by Weiss in the early 1880s and it had several interchangeable “vibratodes”. It was battery-driven, but as electrification swept the world, devices rapidly appeared that were powered by street current. They delivered vibrations at the rate of 1,000-7,000 pulses a minute. There was every sort of variation: portable, floor-standing and, oh joy, the wondrous Carpenter vibrator which hung from the ceiling, looking like a device familiar to those who visit Kwik Fit to have their tyres changed.

These devices were operated by doctors, which medicalised the process and made it entirely proper. But more importantly, the medical paradigm for millennia had been that women's sexual pleasure involves penetration. A bit of rubbing by a doctor was perfectly acceptable because it didn't involve putting anything in the vagina. In fact, there was far fiercer controversy when the speculum (a metal device that is put into the vagina to allow a clear view of the neck of the womb) was introduced. The other point that is often raised is why, if paroxysm was the sovereign cure for hysteria, women were not taught how to masturbate and cure themselves.

In the early 20th century, everything in the garden was rosy until electrification made vibrators available in the home. They were, incidentally, electrified ten years before either the washing machine or Hoover. The first home machines were awesomely large, with a big box attached to the mains. One imagines that they were also awesomely noisy. But then they were miniaturised (relatively speaking). Hand-cranked versions became available, which presumably must have been distressingly prone to running out of power long before satisfaction had been achieved.

With names like Dr Macaura's Blood Circulator or the fabulously titled Veedee Vibrator, these were common devices. The Science Museum has many. “People never expect that the Science Museum has over 40 examples of vibrators,” says Katie Maggs, its assistant curator of medicine. Indeed. The product leaflets of these machines claimed they cured not just hysteria but also deafness, polio and impotence. No doubt dropped arches, halitosis and dandruff were in there somewhere, too. These machines were advertised everywhere. Good Housekeeping ran a “tried and tested” on vibrators in 1909, claiming they brought a glow to the face.

From medicine to high street accessory

Once this “treatment” had escaped from the medical arena and was available for home use, doctors stopped using it. Moreover, although vibrators were still widely advertised before the First World War, the advent of silent films, some of which portrayed them being used sexually, discredited them. Vibrators then disappeared from view completely for the best part of 50 years, although they continued to be offered, labelled as “neck massagers” in catalogues.

By the 1980s, shops such as Ann Summers were offering devices in lurid flesh tones. They were largely designed for penetration and bought by men in back streets. How things have changed. Now the devices are smaller, all colours, largely designed for clitoral use and bought by women on the high street.

But look at the latest Ann Summers device, the iGasm. Its various ‘tickler' attachments make it look startlingly similar to something illustrated in the Army & Navy catalogue of 1905. There is nothing new in the world.

June 02, 2008
Vivienne Parry
http://women.timesonline.co.uk

Men and infidelity: More than just sex

Many believe that men are genetically wired to have multiple sex partners; while others feel this is just an excuse that the weaker of the species resort to when they feel the urge for some action between the sheets.

Like it or not, but men do cheat - that’s not to say that women don’t, they certainly do but in this article we will look male infidelity.

Coming back to the point, it is commonly believed that sex is the root cause of male infidelity; that boys will be boys, and it’s all about the basic desire to satisfy the male libido. Wrong! Believe it or not, having another woman in his life is not all about sex.

Kya Kool Hain Hum
“Gone are the days when men desired another woman for satisfying their male libidos! Nowadays it has become more of a status issue, especially among male friends’ where one tends to flaunt that they are going around with more than one woman at one time,” says Yash Batra, married for 14 years.

Adman Prahlad Kakkar says, “Having another woman in life has become a ‘trophy’ thing for men today. Some just dump their wives and look out for a new woman half their age because when a wife turns 50, she gets fat and no longer looks as beautiful. And those ‘uncle types’ men, who have become industrialists and now hang out with cooler people are worried about taking their wife out. So, they end up picking a hot 23-year-old chick as arm candy to make their friends feel jealous. But they fail to realise that these ‘trophy girlfriends’ are just eyeing their bank balance.”

Ask film-maker Raj Kaushal, married to Mandira Bedi and he fully agrees, “Its all about choosing between ‘Who I am’, and ‘What I want’ attitude. Having a fling or a one night stand is different from having a full fledged affair. Eighty per cent of men talk more than they do, just to show how sexually competent they are, not only with their wives but another woman too. For them, it’s more about showing off among friends that ‘look I am so cool and yours is a boring life’ but they are just fooling themselves.”

Experts Speak
Experts believe that more than physical attraction, it’s a desire to flaunt male prowess that makes men pick ‘trophy girlfriends’.

Leading psychiatrist Dr. Sanjay Chugh states, “Maybe these men believe in the phrase 'the more the merrier' which is why the so called deprived ones’ feel jealous and inadequate and the protagonist is almost made to feel like the king!”

“Just like for some having an expensive car, dining at the finest of restaurants, wearing branded clothes, carrying branded accessories, going for luxurious holidays means attaining a high status among their social circle, for some men - for whom women unfortunately might be perceived as mere commodities - having an attractive woman by their side could be a symbol of status or power.”

Psychiatrist Dr. Samir Parikh elaborates, “If any section of men thinks that infidelity gives them a status in society, I believe that they don’t have substance in themselves and need to show multiple partners in life.”

Dr. Sanjeeta Kundu, consultant, clinical psychologist at Max Healthcare, adds: “Men with a not-so-well established self-consciousness can cash-in on such tactics. This not only indicates their poor self-esteem but also shows how they minimise the importance of a woman to mere objects that satisfy materialistic needs.”

The last word....
These men may seem to have it all – money, power, status, yes and so-called ‘trophy girlfriends’. But alas, all that glitters is not gold...

TV actor Aamir Ali in a committed relationship says: “Undoubtedly, these men are mere attention seekers who aren’t confident about their personality and comfort level when they are with friends. Just to prove their superiority, they opt for such bizarre things of flaunting their relationships.”

Kakkar supports, “A man who pretends to prefer ‘status’ to ‘sex’ can be a total wannabe who is so desperate for acknowledgment among the peer group that he is flaunting a second or maybe third / fourth woman in his life with whom he can wine, dine and enjoy. Even if the girl, in real, disagrees to mingle up with the men in the desired way, he would still show off among friends as to how hot she is in bed.”

June 3, 2008
Monika Rawal
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com

Same-Sex Marriages Performed in Greece

ATHENS — Defying governmental wrath, the mayor of a remote Greek island performed the country’s first same-sex marriages on Tuesday, wedding two men and two women.

The civil ceremonies, held at sunrise in the nondescript town hall of Tilos, a tiny island in the eastern Aegean Sea, defied statements by a senior Greek prosecutor last week that such unions were illegal.

“It’s done, now,” the mayor, Anastassios Aliferis, said in a telephone interview. “The unions have been registered, and the licenses have been issued. It’s a historic moment.”

With its abundance of glamorous gay bars and summer island resorts like Mykonos, Greece has long drawn thousands of gay tourists annually. But gay men and lesbians in this European Union nation of 11 million people frequently complain of discrimination. Public displays of affection are widely frowned upon. The country’s military bars gay men and lesbians from joining its ranks, and in 2003 a private Greek television network, Mega Channel, was fined $116,000 by the National Radio and Television Council for showing men kissing in a weekly drama. Greece’s powerful Orthodox Church has also denounced homosexuality as a sin and “defect of human nature.”

On Tuesday, however, a bubbling just-married Evangelia Vlami emerged from the Tilos town hall, telling the BBC that the unions would help end discrimination. “We did this to encourage other gay people to take a stand,” she said.

About two dozen people attended the no-frills ceremony, held under the watchful eyes of police officers and dumbfounded locals.

“I couldn’t believe it,” said Sofia Kamma, a resident contacted by phone. “I know they’re people too, but couldn’t they have gone on doing what they were doing without getting our community involved?”

Greek gay rights groups have noted a loophole in a 1982 law that does not specify that a civil union must involve a man and woman.

But last week, as the gay couples made plans to tie the knot, taking out a wedding notice in a local newspaper, Greece’s top prosecutor, Giorgos Sanidas, warned that any same-sex marriage would be “automatically nullified and considered illegal.”

He said the decree was founded in the spirit of the Constitution, which defines marriage as matrimony between a man and a woman with the intent of forming a family.

But Mr. Aliferis, a Socialist foe of the ruling conservative government, insisted otherwise. “There is no court in Europe that will side by this arcane reading of the Constitution,” he said. “What happens if a couple cannot reproduce and have a family? Is their marriage null and void?”

Gay activists have warned that they may now begin to sue any of the country’s municipalities if civil authorities resist requests for similar same-sex unions.

The Netherlands was the first European Union country to offer full civil marriage rights to gay couples, in 2001. Belgium did so in 2003, followed by Spain, despite fierce opposition from the Roman Catholic Church.

Most other European Union countries have varying forms of civil unions.

“It’s ludicrous for Greece, the cradle of democracy and human rights, to deny homosexuals equal rights and privileges,” Mr. Aliferis said. “Officials should take the time and reassess their views.”

Gay activists have vowed to seek recourse with the European Court of Justice if authorities in Greece continue to challenge same-sex marriages.

June 4, 2008
ANTHEE CARASSAVA
http://www.nytimes.com

Decline in Teen Sex Levels Off, Survey Shows

The nation's campaign to get more teenagers to delay sex and to use condoms is faltering, threatening to undermine the highly successful effort to reduce teen pregnancy and protect young people from sexually transmitted diseases, federal officials reported yesterday.

New data from a large government survey show that by every measure, a decade-long decline in sexual activity among high school students leveled off between 2001 and 2007, and that the rise in condom use by teens flattened out in 2003.

Moreover, the survey found disturbing hints that teen sexual activity may have begun creeping up and that condom use among high school students might be edging downward, though those trend lines have not yet reached a point where statisticians can be sure, officials said.

"The bottom line is: In all these areas, we don't seem to be making the progress we were making before," said Howell Wechsler, acting director of the division of adolescent and school health at the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, which conducts the survey. "It's very troubling."
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Coming on the heels of reports that one in four teenage girls has a sexually transmitted disease and that the teen birth rate has increased for the first time in 15 years, the data are triggering alarm across the ideological spectrum.

"We have a number of signs that are all going exactly in the wrong direction," said Sarah S. Brown, chief executive of the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. "All of us in this field are on red alert."

The new report did not examine the reason for the trends, but experts said there could be many causes, including rising complacency about HIV and AIDS, changing attitudes about sex and pregnancy, shifts in ethnic diversity, and the possibility that there will always be teens who cannot be persuaded to wait.

"The truth is that, as a field, we really don't know what the answer is," Brown said. "There are lots of theories: the economy, classroom education, the messages kids are getting in the digital world where they spend their time. They probably all play a role."

The new figures renewed the heated debate about sex-education classes that focus on abstinence until marriage, which began receiving federal funding during the period covered by the latest survey and have come under increasing criticism that they are ineffective.

"Since we've started pushing abstinence, we have seen no change in the numbers on sexual activity," said John Santelli, chairman of the department of population and family health at Columbia University. "The other piece of it is: Abstinence education spends a good amount of time bashing condoms. So it's not surprising, if that's the message young people are getting, that we're seeing condom use start to decrease."

Proponents of abstinence programs dismissed the criticism, blaming "comprehensive" sex education that emphasizes contraceptive use.

"Contraceptive sex education does not provide practical skills for maintaining or regaining abstinence but typically gives teens a green light to activity that puts them at great risk for acquiring STDs or which serve as gateway-to-intercourse activities," said Valerie Huber, executive director of the National Abstinence Education Association.

Others blamed the onslaught of movies, books, advertising and cultural messages that they say glamorize sex.

"The No. 1 movie that all teenage girls want to see right now is 'Sex and the City,' " said Charmaine Yoest, a spokesman for the Family Research Council. "Our culture continues to tell them the way to be cool is to dress provocatively and to consider nonmarital sexual activity to be normative."

The proportion of teenagers reporting having sexual intercourse rose steadily through the 1970s and 1980s, fueling a sharp rise in teen pregnancy. The trend reversed around 1991 because of AIDS, changing mores about sex and other factors. At the same time, more sexually active teens started using condoms and other contraceptive measures. Together, the trends have pushed the U.S. teen pregnancy rate to historic lows.

The first sign that trend might be reversing came last summer, when the CDC conducted an analysis for The Washington Post of data collected in 2005 by the Youth Risk Behavior Survey, a nationally representative survey the CDC conducts every two years to track risky behaviors. While the rates still remained far below the all-time highs, the analysis showed that the proportion of teens who said they had ever had sex or had had sex in the last three months had leveled off, beginning in 2001. Researchers, however, were waiting for the next round of data to see whether a real trend was represented.

The new data come from the 2007 survey, which involved 14,103 students in grades nine through 12 at 157 high schools nationwide. The survey found a slight increase between 2005 and 2007 of the proportion who reported they had ever had sex, had begun having sex before age 13, had engaged in sex within the last three months and had had sex with at least four partners.

None of the increases was sufficient to convince statisticians that there is an upward trend. But when the agency analyzed the numbers for The Post, statisticians found that every measure of sexual activity passed the statistical test for having leveled off between 2001 and 2007, and the condom use numbers passed the test for leveling off beginning in 2003.

Because the survey involved only teens who are still in school, it might underestimate the level of sexual activity and overestimate condom use, several experts said.

"What's really important here is we're really running out of steam," Wechsler said. "There's no reason for panic, but there is reason for concern."

Rob Stein
June 5, 2008
http://www.washingtonpost.com/

Stressful lifestyles 'wrecking sex lives'

Sex is considered to be a stress buster. But what happens when stress kills sex? It can take its toll on bedroom lives, suggests a new study.

Researchers have carried out the study and found that stressful lifestyles and poor diets are wrecking the sex lives of nearly 15 million Britons, leading British tabloid 'The Sun' has reported.

According to David Cherrie of Lactofree, which commissioned the research, "Bloating and feeling uncomfortable are common symptoms of digestive health problems.

"With the hectic lives we lead, many of us reach for convenient foods which we are often intolerant to, causing symptoms we'd rather live without."

For their study, the researchers surveyed a number of British men and women.

A third of the respondents admitted they flopped in the bedroom because they were too tired or suffered tummy problems after eating unhealthy food at the wrong times. "And a quarter admitted their inability to make love had put
pressure on their relationships."

June 6, 2008
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com

Parenting and sex: keeping the magic alive

I believe it wasn't long after I learned how babies are made that the most disgusting thought occurred to me: My parents probably had sex at least once. And "once" was just assuming that my sister was planted in our house by some deity as a Job-like trial for me. In that moment, the fantasies I had -- that I was in fact the child of royalty, adopted by commoners to protect my identity until the day I could be reunited with my "real" parents and assume the throne -- became infinitely more appealing. Because maybe that meant the people who were raising me did not have sex after all, and I'd deal with the issue of my royal parents doing the nasty when the time came.


Nothing personal, kid ...

Now that I'm a parent myself, I know the truth is so much grosser than I imagined as a child. Parents do have sex, and sometimes even on a semi-regular basis. (Like on Wednesdays. You should totally watch this, by the way.) The problem, of course, is that kids make it that much harder to actually find the time and privacy to have a little intimacy. Here's three sex-blocking scenarios, and a possible solution for each. Consider this my public service for the week.

1. Co-sleeping. We ended up unintentionally co-sleeping with our kid, mostly because it was just easier. But of course, having a kid in the bed makes nighttime sex impossible. I have read advice like, "Oh, we just lay down with junior and then get up and go into the other room to get it on." I don't really know who these people are that can lie down with their heads on a nice, soft pillow and close their eyes and then actually get up for anything less than morning or a fire. (And I mean a literal fire. The call of burning love doesn't cut it.)

Needless to say, this is not a solution I endorse. However, I'll admit that the desire for privacy did play a big part in my desire to get the kid into her own bed, though I don't really mind the snuggly sleepy family thing. So here's our fix: We made a rule that she had to fall asleep in her own bed. Then if she woke up in the night she could come into our room, or if she wanted she could request to be brought into our bed after she fell asleep. This has worked out really well for us, but I think it's important to enforce the rule on a regular basis for it to work, not just on nights when love is a'calling.

2. Sex when the kids are around. When the little one was younger and needed regular supervision, daytime hummada hummada was only possible during naps. And even now, when she's playing alone, it's a little touch-and-go (har har) to try and work some magic with the fear of being interrupted in a way that would be traumatic for all parties. My answer? The electronic babysitter. This is why I'll never kill my television. Pull up an episode of "Peep" and it's off to the other room. (When I was discussing this story idea with someone, they said, "Oh, like you put on 'Ratatouille' and then slip away?" Let's face it: We are parents. We are tired. We don't need a two hour movie. One show is pretty much sufficient for the whole deal, clean-up and all. That's why I call it the TV quickie.)
Barry says: When the kids are gone, you must get it on.


Barry says: When the kids are gone, you must get it on.

3. The overnight. Having the kids go to someone else's house and spend the night ought to be a golden opportunity. However, sometimes this one falls into the date night trap: When it happens so rarely, there's a certain amount of pressure placed on the whole thing, and pressure can be a mood-killer. Plus this is everyone's big chance to get more than six hours of unbroken sleep! My answer to this? Too bad. Just do it anyway. Like birthdays and anniversaries, there are certain times when everyone has a right to expect some good attention and a little quality uhh-huh time. Buy some Barry White or download some porn or whatever you have to do and just have at it. Then arrange your schedule so you can sleep in. But the sex is a necessity, like eating and breathing and shopping for cute shoes.

Oh, and one final note: We have not tried this, but some people get a lock for the bedroom door. Our kid doesn't even know what the word 'quiet' means, so we don't really have to worry about being surprised, but if you have one of those more subdued little angels, it might be worth it. Just make sure you can pick the lock from the outside so you don't have to call the fire department when your child imprisons himself in your room.

You should share your own tips, but if any of them involve actual act logistics or the word "feather" or "harness," you can and should totally keep that to yourself.

KELLY MILLS is a writer, editor, blogger, and sucka for her daughter's theatrics. She has a fitness blog, Fitness Fixation, and also blogs about the world of parenting for Babble.com at Strollerderby and Droolicious.

June 9, 2008
http://www.sfgate.com/

Longer, better, hotter: The best sex of your life

Reports say Hollywood star Jennifer Aniston is having the best sex of her life, thanks to lover John Mayer, who’s got her into role play. Here’s how to set your bedroom on fire without being a star

To be able to build up a plan that propels your sex life into the orgasmic cosmos, you need to figure out what sort of lover you are. And the easiest way to find that out, is to see if you are committing any of these oh-so-common mistakes.

If you are a man, you are likely to think...
You have a stronger sex drive than women: A woman’s sex drive is influenced by hormones, which is why she may often oscillate between wanting to pounce on you, and giving you the cold shoulder in bed. Most women do the housework, some even hold a job, and that leaves them exhausted enough to not want to jump into the sex routine every time.

Women orgasm only through intercourse:
Only about 30% women climax through penetration, and most are likely to go wild if you perform oral sex, or use your fingers to stimulate her.

A Woman’s satisfaction is proportionate to the size of your penis:
Almost all nerves of the vagina are concentrated in the first inch, and so, a longer organ does nothing to stimulate her.

Women need to be pushed to orgasm:
There’s nothing like a quickie as far as women go. Statistics show that it takes 20 minutes or more for women to have an orgasm, during oral sex. So, that gives you a vague idea of the time frame you are playing with. It also depends on what she’s been doing before the act, how turned on she is, whether she’s had anything to drink (over four drinks, and she’s practically numb!). If you think she takes too long to climax, settle into a position that’s comfortable. Use a pillow to rest under her hips, if your back hurts. But don’t make the blunder of asking her when she’s going to orgasm.

Why wear a condom?
Apart from helping avoid pregnancy, and STDs, a condom helps block the human papilloma virus (HPV), that causes cervical cancer, a recent study proved

How to turn your bedroom into a sex den
Props to prep it up: Sex toys and essential oils might sound hackneyed, but they always yield significant results. Stock up on aroma therapy massage oils, erotic books and movies, and handcuffs.

The Bed makes all the difference: A firm bed makes for better sex, and clean, fresh, good quality sheets are a fabulous incentive to stay naked in bed. Cushions in varied sizes are a must, if you like to fool around with positions.

Aaina to your wants: Mirror wardrobe doors can be angled to provide a full-front view. Alternatively, you can use a full-length portable mirror which can be moved around.
Get the lighting right: For the most flattering view, use light from below or at eye level. Dimmers are the next best thing and can match the mood you are in.

How to fight the O quandary

For Him
Stop fretting about the orgasm you are about to have and focus instead on the fabulous sensation you are experiencing.
Know your orgasm inside out, so you know exactly what’s going to send you over the edge. The easiest way to do this is to think about your last great orgasm. Practise rating yourself to gain control.
Make friends with her vibrator. Most men feel threatened and are sometimes even envious of the apparatus. But then, they say a vibrator is the best way to achieve simultaneous orgasm. One of you can hold a vibrator over the clitoral area during penetrative sex to attain dual nirvana.
Have an orgasm first and make the “together” orgasm the second one. Most men find that they have much better control the second time around.

For Her
Use lubrication and make sure he understands it doesn’t mean you’re not turned on if you’re not wet.
Choose the right position. Woman on top, or him from behind are the most likely positions to stimulate the front vaginal wall and up your chances of achieving orgasm.
Use your pelvic muscle to control orgasms. The better toned your genitals, the more control you’ll have over both your orgasms.

For him and her
Touch yourself in front of each other. Take turns to watch your partner’s body signs at each stage for more info.
Switch simulation: Change positions, rooms, CDs  to keep it hot and sexy.

53%
Australian women admit to having had a “friend with benefits”, a “sex buddy”, at some stage in their lives. Experts applaud it saying it’s a much safer option than a typical one-night stand

Brits spend an average of six days a year in bed having sex (a total of 153 hours) and nine days (211 hours) lying in bed thinking about it

June 10, 2008
http://www.mid-day.com

Study: Women attracted to men's underarm sweat

Forget deodorants. The scent of sex is in your armpit sweat, for a study has found that women are attracted to chemicals in a man's underarm smell that can make her decide if you are the one for her.

In fact, underarm sweat contains a complex compound of odourless pheromones that have a powerful subconscious effect on females, according to researchers at Monell Chemical Senses Centre in Philadelphia.

In their study, the researchers found that the exposure to the pheromone from the male armpit accelerated the release of the luteinizing hormone which controls menstruation in women, the news.com.au reported.

Even the female test subjects admitted that they felt increasingly relaxed as they sniffed the hormone. As mentioned -- it's odourless.

According to the researchers, the finding may one day lead to the development of new fertility drugs. They have also speculated that men's fragrances can contain male pheromones, which would presumably be irresistible to any woman.

There's also evidence to suggest that pheromones discourage inbreeding, through part of the human genome called the major histocompatibility complex that plays a role in sexual attraction as well as combating disease.

June 5, 2008
http://www.expressindia.com

MTV Launches Sex Blog

MTV’s Staying Alive safe sex campaign has launched a cool new blog where you can leave your messages about the anything to do with sex.

From the celebrity you’d really love to ‘have’, to STDs or advice on sex you can put it all on the Stand By What You Say website.

You can do it simply by calling a number- where you will be greeted by Kelly Rowland- and leave a message which will be changed into text and put online.

Check out the blog and messages from music stars here

MTV has also launched a special Facebook application where you can give to our Staying Alive campaign. Donations will be matched by the SpinVox company.

June 16, 2008
http://www.mtv.co.uk

Same-Sex Marriages Begin in California

SAN FRANCISCO — With a series of simple “I dos,” gay couples across California inaugurated the state’s court-approved and potentially short-lived legalization of same-sex marriage on Monday, the first of what is expected to be a crush of such unions in coming weeks.

The weddings began in a handful of locations around the state at exactly 5:01 p.m., the earliest time allowed by last month’s decision by the California Supreme Court legalizing same-sex marriage. Many more ceremonies will be held on Tuesday when all 58 counties will be issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples.

In San Francisco, Del Martin, 87, and Phyllis Lyon, 84, longtime gay rights activists, were the first and only couple to be wed here, saying their vows in the office of Mayor Gavin Newsom, before emerging to a throng of reporters and screaming well-wishers.

Ms. Martin and Ms. Lyon, who have been together for more than 50 years, seemed touched, if a little amazed by all the attention.

“When we first got together we weren’t thinking about getting married,” Ms. Lyon said before cutting a wedding cake. “I think it’s a wonderful day.”

Outside City Hall, several hundred supporters and protesters chanted, cheered and jeered in equal measure, giving an unruly carnival feel to the scene, complete with a marching band playing wedding songs and signs reading “Homo Sex is Sin.”

In Oakland, across the bay from San Francisco, Mayor Ron Dellums presided over more than a dozen marriages in the City Council chambers, which had been transformed into a de facto wedding chapel, with stands of flowers and a standing-room-only crowd.

In Sonoma County, the wine-rich region north of here, 18 couples were scheduled to be wed on Monday, including Chris Lechman, 37, and Mark Gren, 42, who called to book their nuptials shortly after the court’s decision.

“We’ve been on pins and needles,” said Mr. Lechman, who celebrated the 15th anniversary of meeting Mr. Gren on Monday. “We are thrilled to be part of history.”

Janice Atkinson, the Sonoma County clerk, said her office would stay open late for the rest of the month to accommodate what she expected would be a heavy load of same-sex weddings.

On Sunday, Ms. Atkinson and staff members were at a gay pride celebration in Sonoma handing out applications for marriage licenses to prospective newlyweds.

“We’re expecting some very happy couples,” she said. “And a lot of media.”

The selection of Ms. Martin and Ms. Lyon as San Francisco’s first same-sex couple was symbolic; the couple wed here in 2004, when the city broke state law by issuing more than 4,000 marriage licenses and conducting weddings in City Hall. Those marriages were later invalidated by the state Supreme Court.

On May 15, however, the same court struck down the two California laws that prohibited such unions, opening the door for California to becomes the second, and largest, American state to legalize same-sex marriage. Massachusetts did so in 2004, and more than 10,500 couples have wed there.

Same-sex marriage has been hotly contested nationwide and state by state in the courts and at the ballot box, and California is no exception.

Voters in the state will decide a ballot measure in November that would effectively overturn the court’s decision by defining marriage as “between a man and a woman.”

Forty-four states already have some sort of legal barrier — either a law or constitutional amendment — barring such unions. In 2004 alone, 13 states passed ballot measures banning same-sex marriage.

This year, however, supporters have found encouragement in both the California Supreme Court decision and in a subsequent order by Gov. David A. Paterson of New York to force his state agencies to recognize same-sex marriages from elsewhere. The California court has also rebuffed several challenges to its May 15 decision made by two conservative legal groups and Republican attorneys general who fear that the marriages will cause legal challenges to be brought in their own states.

One legal challenge was filed last week by the Liberty Counsel, a group based in Florida that wants the California Court of Appeal to halt the weddings to allow the State Legislature time to work out discrepancies in marriage law created by the state Supreme Court’s decision.

Mathew D. Staver, the founder and chairman of Liberty Counsel, said Monday’s ceremonies “make a mockery of marriage.”

“Marriage has traditionally been known, across continents and all geographical regions, as between a man and a woman,” said Mr. Staver, who is 51 and married. “Marriage between the same sex may be some sort of union, but it’s certainly not marriage.”

There has also been some local opposition to the ceremonies. In rural Kern County, north of Los Angeles, the county clerk has canceled all weddings performed by her office, a position she took after consulting with the Alliance Defense Fund, an Arizona legal group that argues against marriage for gay men and lesbians. Weddings at the county clerk’s office — long an affordable, no-frills option for couples — have also been called off in Butte County, north of Sacramento, the state capital.

In more liberal parts of the state, however, the weddings were being warmly embraced.

In Beverly Hills, Robin Tyler and Diane Olson also married, saying their vows under a chuppah on the steps of the city’s courthouse. The ceremony was solemnized by a rabbi, Denise Eger.

“Great floods cannot dampen your love,” Rabbi Eger said. “Your courage brought you here today.”

Carolyn Marshall contributed reporting from San Francisco and Oakland, and Rebecca Cathcart from Beverly Hills.

June 17, 2008
http://www.nytimes.com

Young men taking enhancers 'to meet modern women's needs'

It's no longer the oldies who are taking anti-impotency pills. Now-a-days, even younger men are turning to enhancers to meet the increasing bedroom demands of their modern female partners, claim experts.

According to them, today's modern women, inspired by strong female characters in flicks such as 'Sex and the City', have become more vocal about their sexual desires and demand a higher level of stamina and imagination in the bedroom.

As a result, men aged between 18 and 40 years feel increasingly emasculated -- in fact, the pressure is causing many of them to experience "performance anxiety" and is also leading to the diagnoses of erectile dysfunction, the experts in Britain have claimed.

Dr John Tomlinson of Sexual Dysfunction Association said that he was hearing from an "enormous" number of 18 to 40-year-olds worried about sexual problems.

"Men may feel emasculated by modern women and feminism has taken its toll. But most of problems are psychological. I am sure many of these men are fuelling the counterfeit drugs industry by buying their Viagra online," British newspaper the 'Daily Mail' quoted him as saying.

According to him, advertisements glamorising the well toned male body, make an impact on men who presume it is what women expect.

Dr John Dean, a specialist in sexual medicine, said when Viagra was introduced ten years ago, it would have been unusual to treat men in their 30s. Now, however, it is common, he said.

Added sex therapist Denise Knowles of counselling service Relate: "Pornography affects how men see themselves and how they think women will see them. Further pressure comes from the myth that men should know what to do in the bedroom and that women are difficult to satisfy."

June 17, 2008
http://www.deccanherald.com

For today's seniors, it's never too late for sex education

Like any sex education seminar, this one covered the familiar topics: how to use a condom, how to protect against sexually transmitted disease. But some of the questions - How will Viagra affect my heart medication? Where does an 82-year-old man meet women? - signaled that the needs of this particular group were, perhaps, a little different.

News flash: Older people are having sex, and increasingly open about wanting to enjoy it. But with pleasure comes complications. Today's seniors are learning they are vulnerable to STDs and HIV; this week, Stanford and Veterans Affairs researchers released a study demonstrating the cost-effectiveness of HIV/AIDS testing for adults age 75 and up.

Add disease to the list of other challenges - learning how to work with an aging body, navigating a romantic realm that now includes online dating and sex toys - and suddenly it's a whole new world for seniors.

"I think as seniors get older, they need a lot more information," said Larry Saltman, 73, of San Jose, "because we're not dead yet."

Saltman was among the seniors who attended a "Sexuality and Aging" seminar sponsored by the San Jose Office on Aging. Today, representatives will discuss offering similar talks at all the city's senior centers.

Already, signs suggest the sessions will be popular. Pfizer claims Viagra has helped 25 million men. Baby boomers, the same folks who led the sexual revolution in the 1960s, now are becoming senior citizens.

After marching for sex, "They're thinking, 'Wait a minute, maybe I still deserve to have some,' " said Bryna Barsky-Ex, a psychologist and sex therapist with Kaiser Permanente Santa Teresa, who has counseled couples in their late 90s about how to enjoy their sexuality.

Different times

But generations like Saltman's did not grow up with the same comprehensive sex education offered today in most schools; these men and women were at least in their 40s and 50s when AIDS appeared on the scene.

In 2005, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported 15 percent of new HIV cases in the United States were among people over 50.

Saltman, who sits on the San Jose Senior Citizens Commission, suggested a sexuality session after he and his wife, Linda, saw a program about the rising rates of STDs and HIV in older adults.

Last week's program, led by Barsky-Ex, was a reminder that seniors can have fun but also need to protect themselves, he said.

"Sexuality is not just for the young or the pretty or for penises working perfectly," Barsky-Ex said. "It's for everybody."

Saltman still speaks in the accent of his native Boston, where he said it was a "no-no to talk about anything like this" when he was young.

But the conversations are becoming easier. Nearly 40 people - some with canes and ranging from 60 to 90 years old - attended the seminar.

"Sometimes it was really quiet, like, 'Ooh,' " said Linda Saltman, 69, describing the session, which covered everything from lubrication to vibrators. "And then, when it was over, everybody was smiling."

But the topic can make some a little antsy.

"To be honest with you, this is the first time I've even given it thought," said Nasario Gutierrez, a gerontology specialist with Gardner Senior Center.

Uncomfortable topic

Dr. Susan Kegeles, co-director for the Center for AIDS Prevention Studies at the University of California-San Francisco, said people are often uncomfortable talking about sexuality; discussing the sexual proclivities of the elderly is even harder.

While the prevalence of sexual activity decreases with age, men and women still have sex well into their 80s and 90s, according to a study last year in the New England Journal of Medicine.

But as more people divorce now, the chance of contracting diseases through multiple partners increases.

Jane Fowler's HIV-positive diagnosis at age 55 came as a shock. The few times she had sex after her marriage ended, condoms seemed unnecessary; she thought of them only as contraception.

"There is this denial among older people that this can happen to them," said Fowler, now 73 and the founder of HIV Wisdom for Older Women, based in Kansas City, Kan.

In Santa Clara County, people over 60 make up only 1.2 percent of the total number of HIV or AIDS patients. Those 50 to 59 years old make up 8.8 percent of the county's HIV/AIDS population, said Joy Alexiou, county public health department spokeswoman.

Experts said sex education is key to ensuring the percentages stay down. Just as important: learning that sex is about more than intercourse.

"Seniors need companionship," Saltman said. "Even if it's just touch, feel, the idea that somebody gives a hoot."

"It's part of life," said his wife, Linda. "Why keep it a secret?"

June 19, 2008
http://www.mercurynews.com

Hedge While You Play, Profit From Porn, Sex Toys: Susan Antilla

Peter Lynch, the famed investor and vice chairman of Fidelity Investments, often advised to ``invest in what you know.''

Maybe that's why Francis Koenig thinks Wall Street is ready to come around to putting big money into the adult-entertainment business.

Koenig is chief executive officer and founder of AdultVest Inc., ``the world's first and only investment community designed specifically for the adult industry,'' according to the company's Web site.

AdultVest matches buyers with sellers of strip clubs and other businesses; offers a forum for ``talent'' to be bought and sold in the adult industry; and seeks out investors to pony up money for hedge funds that invest in clubs, adult-toy companies, porn-movie producers and other legal players in the sex business. It is the latter -- the hedge funds -- that is the ``primary focus'' of AdultVest, Koenig said in a telephone interview.

Primary, perhaps, but not quantifiable for anyone trying to determine how much cash has come AdultVest's way. Koenig won't say how much money is under management, allowing only that it's a ``small group'' of institutional investors -- fewer than 20 -- in his Bacchus Investment Fund (minimum ante: $1 million) including one pension fund that he declined to name.

His second fund, the Priapus Investment Fund, has lured enough smaller investors expending a $100,000 minimum that Priapus was able to purchase the domain name iPorn.com, which Koenig calls ``the crown jewel of the portfolio.'' Priapus also owns shares of strip-club operator VCG Holding Corp.

Comparable Deals

Koenig won't say what the price was for iPorn.com, which consisted of the domain name only and no content. But he does hint that a similar domain name -- porn.com -- fetched $9.5 million in March 2007.

His investors may all be anonymous; his business may be sordid and the amount of actual money he's managing may be a mystery. None of that will keep Koenig from being among the luminaries honored at New York's Cipriani Wall Street on June 25, where Michael Steinhardt and other hedge-fund icons will gather for the black-tie Sixth Annual Hedge Fund Industry Awards sponsored by Total Alternatives (formerly Alternative Investment News). AdultVest is among four nominees for the ``Hedge Fund Launch of the Year'' award.

Last year, the award went to KKR & Co., formerly Kohlberg Kravis Roberts & Co.

Koenig says he thinks that investors ``have gotten over the moral issues'' related to adult investing.

VCG Owners

There may be something to that. The New York State Common Retirement Fund, the California Public Employees Retirement System, or Calpers, and the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania Public Schools all disclosed in Securities and Exchange Commission filings that they owned VCG shares. That should go over big with the kindergarten teachers and school social workers in the Keystone State.

Money managers JLF Asset Management LLC, Burlingame Asset Management and Slater Capital Management LLC also held stakes in VCG as well as strip-club operator Rick's Cabaret International Inc., according to SEC filings.

Rick's is a particular favorite of the Wall Street crowd, catering to multitasking financial types who stop in for a quick lap dance by making sure there's always a TV screen tuned in to CNBC.

Little Fetish Fairy

Still, considering the company AdultVest keeps, it should come as no surprise that Koenig's is a venture that gives many investors the creeps. When AdultVest appeared at the Erotica LA trade show June 6-8, its co-exhibitors included Little Fetish Fairy, a seller of provocative women's clothing; Desire Resort & Spa, a nudist resort; and, proving that this is the ultimate open-minded crowd, Escorts for the Disabled. Visitors to the show could attend seminars such as ``Sex Toys for Beginners'' and ``Pole Dancing for Fun and Fitness.''

Paul Fishbein, publisher of AVN Media Network, which runs adult trade shows and publishes magazines about porn and other adult businesses, said that for AdultVest to succeed, it will need ``big-name acquisitions,'' including a content producer, an Internet outlet, and a big player in the sex-toy business. AdultVest is an AVN client.

At AdultVest, Koenig is feeling good -- that's the idea, after all -- about his crown jewel, iPorn. He's offering free membership for customers who sign up for a ``pre-launch'' test before he unveils the Web site later this year.

``Twenty percent of our traffic is from iPhones,'' he gushes of the initial response, adding that iPhone users can download the iPorn icon ``right on the phone so that you can access your iPorn any time you're on the go.'' Porn watchers can even ``carry it with them and watch on an airplane.''

Uh, not if they're sitting in my aisle, they won't. Flight attendant, could you ask the guy in 3D to give up his toys and just read a book or something?

June 20, 2008
http://www.bloomberg.com
(Susan Antilla is a Bloomberg News columnist. The opinions expressed are her own.)

Juvenile sex offenders marked for life

Records of childhood transgressions, never sealed, limit options for adults.

They were neighbors, aged 13 and 10, who played together in a toy fort at the older boy's home. But one summer afternoon, the teen began talking about masturbation, then performed oral sex on the younger boy. He said they should do it again the next day. And they did.

Soon after, two sheriff's deputies arrived at the adolescent's Eastside home to read the seventh-grader his rights. Within two months, he was a registered sex offender, convicted of first-degree child rape.

"I didn't know that what I was doing was a crime -- that's not to minimize it -- I just didn't know," said Tyler, now 23, who agreed to talk with the Seattle P-I if identified only by his middle name.

"I was just some stupid kid growing up, who had an urge and he didn't know how to cope with it. Afterward, I always wondered, 'Is there something wrong with me? Is there some malfunction in my brain? Am I a pervert?' But it was just my inability to understand what I was feeling."

Since 1997, more than 3,500 children in the state -- some as young as 10, though on average about 14 -- have been charged and convicted as felony sex offenders, a mark that remains on their records forever, barring them from careers in medicine, teaching or a host of other professions that serve the vulnerable. It also frightens many into under-the-radar housing arrangements to avoid landlords who require background checks.

"Juvenile sex offenses cannot be sealed -- ever -- and that's huge," said Kim Ambrose, a former public defender who now runs the Child and Youth Advocacy Clinic at the University of Washington School of Law. "It messes you up with any public housing or any job that allows you access to children -- teaching, coaching, shoot, even cosmetology. The only thing that's available, basically, is to get a pardon from the governor."

Washington is among the few states to include juveniles in its sex offender management plan, assessing youths with tools designed for adults and funneling them through the courts with adult-sized punishments.

Next year, those laws could become even stricter if legislators decide to implement the Adam Walsh Act. The federal legislation, which financially penalizes states that decline to apply it, requires all offenders 14 or older to register with law enforcement for at least 25 years, no matter how upstanding they may have been since their crime.

Tyler, like most youths who get treatment, has never been charged with a sexual offense again. The court sentenced him to two years in an intensive therapy program designed as an alternative to incarceration. He attended school but had to avoid sports -- counseling appointments conflicted with practice -- and he lied desperately to keep his secret from friends.

"As a 13- or 14-year-old, you're sitting there wondering if you're as much of a freak as they say you are," he said. "Are you going to be like this forever? What's going to happen in the future? It's the scariest thing you can possibly imagine."

He looks away then, this preppie young man in a North Face jacket, tears in his eyes.

Now a student at the University of Washington, Tyler has a girlfriend and tries to live as normally as possible. But the childhood record has scuttled his hopes of becoming a doctor and, by alienating him from peers who might ask too many questions, paralyzed much of his social development.

"I was arrested on a Friday morning, at home, by myself," Tyler said, his voice tight at the memory, his fingers snapping a rubber band on his wrist. "I was booked and held, handcuffed to a plastic chair. I remember overhearing one of the police officers calling my mother and telling her there was nothing she could do because her pervert son was going to go to jail.

In general, prosecutors defend their approach to offenders such as Tyler, saying the law treated juveniles too leniently before several changes were made in the 1990s. Therapists who specialize in sexual deviance also acknowledge that some youths warrant aggressive oversight -- kids who hunger for graphic details about sex acts and seem unable to control their impulses.

But these are the minority, said Tim Kahn, who has been treating such young people for nearly three decades. Most of Kahn's patients are closer to the 12-year-old boy he recently met, an elementary school student who had pulled down the panties of his 4-year-old cousin and touched her genitals with several toys. The child, who committed no other crime, is now a registered sex offender.

While supportive of laws that essentially force kids into treatment, Kahn and others wonder at the wisdom of tarring them forever with a childhood act.

"They're branded -- it's on their forehead, even if their face isn't on the Internet," said Michele Shaw, a defense attorney in Seattle who has handled hundreds of these cases. "The punishment is just never-ending."

Shaw is among a group of lawyers and therapists planning to push for new laws that would permit sealing juvenile records in certain cases.

Consequences for these youths may depend, at least in part, on a child's attorney. Jack, for instance -- also 23 and identified here by his middle name -- was discovered at 12 fondling a 5-year-old neighbor. But his lawyer was able to get a felony child molestation charge reduced to assault with sexual motivation, a misdemeanor, and the distinction allowed Jack to have his childhood record legally expunged.

He now works with youngsters at the Big Brothers/Big Sisters program in Seattle and plans to apply to medical school in the fall -- all of which would have been impossible with a felony history, even if it happened when he was 12.

"I sat down with this woman for like 15 minutes, paid her $100 and the next thing you know, my record was gone," Jack said. "If I hadn't, I know it absolutely would have prevented me from the work I'm doing now, helping kids."

Court officials, acknowledging current research that shows youths who complete sexual deviancy treatment have extremely low rates of recidivism, accept that some refinement of sex crime laws may be in order. But in the current political climate, few believe legislators will make adjustments soon.

Even prosecutors concede that the law for juvenile sex crimes sometimes acts as a bludgeon, rather than a scalpel.

"The entire purpose of the juvenile justice system is more for rehabilitation than retribution," said Ian Goodhew, deputy chief of staff at the Office of the King County Prosecutor, who formerly supervised juvenile sex crimes. "Has that always been accomplished? No, and that's particularly true with juvenile sex offenders."

The vast majority of these felons are rated as Level 1's -- the least likely to reoffend. In King County, for example, of 79 young sex offenders being tracked in a recent week, 84 percent fell into that category.

Yet Goodhew still supports a hard-line approach.

"Under the past system, we didn't treat these cases seriously enough," he said. "Has there been reform and increased punishment from 20 years ago? Yes, and I think that was the right move. But we should always ask, have we gone too far the other way? I don't believe we have."

Many therapists feel otherwise.

"A common misperception is that they're like adults," said Dan Knoepfler, president of the Washington Association for Treatment of Sexual Abusers. "But they're not. We're mainly talking about geeky, nerdy, socially immature kids. And so many of the factors that contribute to risk -- like where they live or how their families work -- are out of their control."

In decades past, Knoepfler said, few believed that youths committing inappropriate sex acts -- whether awkward adolescents or predatory criminals -- needed treatment. "But my sense is that now we've oversold the case," he said.

Tyler, struggling to find a way to use his talents productively -- medical school is out, a legal career may also pose problems -- agrees, with bitterness evident in his voice.

"All my ambitions are bound by a felony conviction from when I was 13 years old -- 11 years ago," he said. "I just don't want to be a felon any more. I want to wake up one day and not be a criminal, a sex offender. That, I guess, is now my ambition in life."

June 22, 2008
Claudia Rowe
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com

Does sex make you fat?

The idea that a good workout in bed could pile on the pounds rather than help to shed them seems bizarre, and yet this is exactly what a group of scientists are now proposing.

Writing this month in Medical Hypotheses, the researchers argue that the hormone prolactin may be to blame.

Prolactin stimulates milk production and fatherly love. Blood levels of the hormone rise after sex, especially following orgasm during intercourse. Increased prolactin has in turn been linked to weight gain in several species, including humans who suffer from hyperprolactinaemia (chronically high prolactin levels). And expectant dads are also thought to get chubbier due to a rise in prolactin.

Putting these observations together, Ritesh Menezes from the Department of Forensic Medicine and Toxicology at Kasturba Medical College in Mangalore, India, and colleagues suggest "that increased sexual activity may possibly be a causative factor in gaining body weight".

I couldn't reach Menezes to find out what inspired their idea: voluptuous nymphomaniacs, pot-bellied lechers? But Stuart Brody at the University of the West of Scotland, discoverer of the post-coital prolactin surge, thinks they are barking up the wrong tree.

"There is a relationship between frequency of penile-vaginal intercourse and slimness in humans, but in the opposite direction," he says.

Brody previously found that of 120 healthy men and women, those who had sex often were slimmer than those who did not. He argues that it is inappropriate to compare a medical condition like hyperprolactinaemia with a normal short-term hormonal surge.

"As an analogy, when you exercise, your heart rate increases to perhaps, say, 140 bpm. Good. If your resting heart rate is 140 bpm, that is not likely to be a good thing. Also, speaking of exercise, do not forget the exercise value of, especially, penile-vaginal intercourse."

So, is sex a good way to lose weight, after all, as some have claimed? Or could it still be that if you just do it often enough, prolactin levels stay so high that the scales are, so to speak, tipped in favour of weight gain? Personally, I imagine that having sex this often would either burn calories far in excess of any extra weight that might be put on - or leave no time to eat much in the first place.

June 18, 2008
Nora Schultz, New Scientist contributor
http://www.newscientist.com/

Unsafe Sex Remains Common Among New Yorkers

More than one-third — 36 percent — of New York City men who have sex with other men and have had five or more sex partners within the past year do not consistently use condoms. City officials said that statistic was one of the most troubling findings from a new report — titled “Are New Yorkers Having Safe Sex?” — that was released on Tuesday by the city’s Department of Health and Mental Hygiene.

The report comes just a few months after the city warned about an alarming increase in H.I.V. infections among young gay men, which has occurred even as overall H.I.V. infection rates and AIDS deaths have declined.

The report [pdf] was based on a telephone survey of 10,000 residents conducted by the department’s Bureau of Epidemiology Services. It contained an array of facts about the sexual practices of New Yorkers. Among the most notable findings, as organized by topic:

General Sexual Activity

    * Nearly three-quarters (72 percent) of adult New Yorkers reported being sexually active in 2006, and one in nine said they had had two or more sex partners.
    * Over all, 11 percent of New Yorkers, or 610,000 adults, report having more than one partner in the past year.
    * Men are three times more likely than women to report multiple partners (17 percent vs. 6 percent).
    * Young adults (18 to 24 years old) are four times as likely as older adults (45 and older) — 25 percent vs. 6 percent — to report having multiple partners.
    * Asian adults were less likely to report having multiple sex partners than any other ethnic or racial group.
    * New Yorkers with same-sex partners are nearly three times as likely (33 percent versus 13 percent) as those with opposite-sex partners to report having more than one partner in the past year.
    * Five percent of New Yorkers who are married or in steady relationships say they’ve had two or more partners in the past year.
    * Men who have sex with men were more likely to have five or more sex partners in the past year than men who have sex with only women (23 percent vs. 6 percent).

Contraception and Condom Use

    * Only 60 percent of New Yorkers with multiple partners reported using a condom the last time they had sex. The proportion is even lower – 43 percent – among New Yorkers who are in committed relationships but have had other partners during the past year.
    * Reported condom use is similar between women and men (62 percent vs. 61 percent).
    * Condom use is higher among younger New Yorkers (18 to 24) was higher than among older age groups.
    * Hispanic adults are more likely to have used a condom the last time they had sex than white adults (66 percent vs. 55 percent).
    * Only about half of men with both male and female partners (55 percent) reported consistent condom use. Among men who have sex exclusively with other men, 75 percent said they always use condoms.
    * One third of women (34 percent) used a condom as their only form of contraception the last time they had sex.
    * Only 7 percent of women of reproductive age used both a hormonal method — like the birth control pill, shot or implant, the patch or the vaginal ring — and a condom the last time they had sex. Officials recommends using two methods of contraception as the most effective way to prevent pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections.
    * Few women (8 percent) and even fewer men (5 percent) of reproductive age reported receiving information, counseling, or prescriptions for emergency contraception in the past year.

Pregnancies and Sexually Transmitted Diseases

    * In 2006, more than half of all New York City pregnancies were unplanned.
    * In 2006, more than 60,000 new sexually transmitted infections were reported – including 3,745 new H.I.V. diagnoses.

Dr. Thomas R. Frieden, the city’s health commissioner, said in a statement:

    Tens of thousands of New Yorkers put themselves at risk by having unsafe sex. Reducing your number of sexual partners, and using condoms correctly and consistently, makes it less likely you’ll get a sexually transmitted infection such as H.I.V. Of most concern, among men who have sex with men who had 5 or more partners in the past year, 36 percent did not use condoms consistently. This is a core group which is at high risk for getting – and spreading – H.I.V.

June 24, 2008
http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com
Sewell Chan

Jimmyjane Launches The Usual Suspects Iconic Vibrator Collection

Certain vibrator styles are now so ubiquitous, they've become household names. In particular, "the rabbit", the "pocket vibrator", and the "vibrating ring" are recognizable at a glance, and have become mainstays of popular culture. As a result of their popularity, some of these styles have remained in production for decades, and have spun off a dizzying array of variations. Today, with so many alternatives available, the selection can be almost overwhelming.

"We've been hearing from customers that they're interested in these iconic styles, but are unable to tell which are the most functional, durable and - most importantly - safe," says Ethan Imboden, Founder and Creative Director of Jimmyjane. "To make it easy, we tracked down the best of each style, distilled them to pure white, and gathered them into a single collection for our customers. Each of The Usual Suspects meets our stringent material quality and safety standards, and is backed by our one-year limited warranty - the first of its kind for these types of vibrators."

The Usual Suspects line up includes something for everyone -

- Iconic Rabbit, AKA "Twice As Nice" - Perhaps the best known vibrator ever made, this "Rabbit Habit" is the original that inspired hundreds of derivative products. Created in Japan over 25 years ago, it was the first to offer simultaneous internal and external stimulation. This configuration was so successful that it launched an entire category of products, now known in the industry as "Twice As Nice" vibrators.

- Iconic pocket, AKA "Pocket Vibrator" - Pocket Vibrators were first produced in Japan over 25 years ago. Their compact all-in-one design made them the most portable vibrators available at the time. They were also among the first waterproof vibrators in wide circulation. The versatility and innocuous appearance of the Pocket Vibrator, combined with its usefulness for non-sexual massage, has given everyone a reason to keep one handy.

- Iconic Ring, AKA "Vibrating Ring" - Only recently introduced into the market, Vibrating Rings have immediately become a favorite. The first hands-free vibrators to become widely available, they're an easy way for couples to share sensation. Unlike the disposable products that are more common in the market, the Iconic Ring features replaceable batteries for an extended life. It is also one of the most versatile products of its kind, featuring a unique touch-sensitive vibration mode and showerfriendly water resistance.

Remaining true to the heritage of these iconic styles, Jimmyjane has partnered with Vibratex to offer this curated collection. Vibratex is a family owned and operated company that has been a pioneer in offering highly original and functional sexual accessories since it was founded nearly 25 years ago. Included with each product is a brief history of its creation.

The Usual Suspects are presented simply and cleanly, with photography that emphasizes the unmistakable silhouette of each vibrator in the collection. The elegance of the packaging, and the pop culture appeal of the styles, makes them ideal as a gift or personal treat.

"Whether they're updating a personal favorite or trying something new, we're excited to offer our customers these iconic styles in the highest quality available," states Imboden. "The Usual Suspects are another example of Jimmyjane's commitment to being a complete resource for our discerning customers."

June 24, 2008
http://www.pr-usa.net

Remote chance of long sex

IT may explain a lack of understanding between the sexes, or it just may mean our men need a sex lesson, but many women admit they are so hooked on their favourite TV shows they speed up sex so they don't miss them.

The UK's Sun paper reports that almost a fifth would even give up the chance of a romp in favour of slumping in front of Home and Away or Sex And The City.

Others plan annual holidays around the TV schedules or lie to friends about being busy so they can avoid missing their programme, a new study has revealed.

Telecoms firm Tiscali which quizzed 1,600 adults, found 17 per cent of women aged 16 to 24 will either race through sex or put it off altogether to get in front of the TV in time.

June 28, 2008
http://www.news.com.au

Aussie women turned on by cyber sex

AUSTRALIAN women have welcomed technology into their sex lives, with one in five admitting to a sexual encounter in an internet chatroom.

The survey, which questioned nearly 2000 women from around the country, also found more than half had sent or received a sexual text message and one in five have starred in their own sex tape.

"As a society, we increasingly rely on technology to get the job done, whatever the job is," writes Joan Sauers in her new book, Sex Lives of Australian Women.

"Have Australian women joined the cyber-sexual revolution?"

The answer, apparently, is yes.

Sauers used an online survey to question women about their sex lives during a three-month period last year and the results are published in her book.

According to the results, the most avid participants in chat room sex are women in their 20s (26 per cent) followed by those in their 50s (21 per cent).

Some women reported finding net sex "liberating", "exciting", "guilt-free", empowering and safe - no chance of STDS or pregnancy.

Others described the experience as "empty", "unfulfilling", "demeaning", "tacky" and "pretty lame".

However, women who had good experiences with chat room sex outnumbered those who had bad experiences two to one, Sauers reports.

The webcam also forms a part of online sexual activity for some women, who use it either with their partner or with strangers.

Young women are the most likely to engage in text sex using their mobile phones, the survey shows.

Seventy per cent of women in their twenties had engaged in sexual SMS exchanges, followed by 44 per cent of those in their forties and 34 per cent of women in their fifties.

Meanwhile, 22 per cent of women in their twenties and 20 per cent of women in their thirties had been filmed or taped having sex.

Some enjoyed the experience but slightly more were less than thrilled when seeing the results in the cold, hard light of day.

Many said they didn't like seeing themselves on film because they looked "fat".

"It was fine, but to tell you the truth ... watching it again was hilarious ... not erotic ... my arse was NOT ever meant to be on a tape," responded a 33-year-old mother from Western Australia.

But a 34-year-old designer and artist from Victoria highlighted another problem: "At the time OK - exciting, defiant, liberating ... Absolutely horrified after the event - especially after we broke up".

Sex Lives of Australian Women also reveals intimate details about masturbation, sexual fantasies, same-sex sex, pornography, affairs, as well as posing the question: "Are men necessary?"

Respondents were almost evenly divided between yes and no, Sauers writes.

"It was also interesting to note that proportionately, lesbians tended to find men necessary more often than straight women," she reports.

"A lot of women feel that men aren't exactly necessary, but they're nice to have around."

June 30, 2008
http://www.news.com.au

Judge to rule on shop that sold sex toys

PLAINFIELD A Hendricks Superior Court judge is expected to rule today on an order sought by Plainfield to close a shop selling sex toys and offering live lingerie modeling.

In a court hearing Monday in Danville, attorneys for the Plainfield Plan Commission asked Judge Mark A. Smith for a preliminary injunction to close Hot Temptations, 2316A E. Main St.
Advertisement

The town claims that shop owner Christopher Justin Eads, West Lafayette, ignored a stop-work order issued June 3 by Plainfield Plan Director Joe James.

Adult entertainment businesses in Plainfield are required to get a license from the town, and Hot Temptations has no license.

Eads never asked for a license and doesn't see a need for one now. He testified that he had removed videos, sexual devices and other items for sale cited by James, so Eads claims his shop is not offering adult entertainment.

Town attorneys said even if the objectionable items are removed, Eads still violated the stop-work order by opening the shop.

June 24, 2008
http://www.indystar.com

Boy Butter Makes Lubricant History

NEW YORK - BBL, LLC, the manufacturer of Boy Butter and Lucky Lubricants is launching the first ever gay personal lubricant television advertisement on Monday, June 30. The 30-second spot is set to air on the Bravo network and is said to reach approximately 330,000 households in the Los Angeles area.

BBL, LLC, president and founder, Eyal Feldman, told AVN Novelty Business the commercial is actually two 15-second spots back to back. The first spot is for Boy Butter Personal Lubricants, the best-selling cream lubricant popular in the gay market, and the second is for the female-targeted Lucky Personal Lubricant, a doctor recommended line.

"Bravo is the perfect channel for these commercials and the best platform for a little bit of gay TV history," Feldman said. "With shows like Kathy Griffin's My Life on the D-List and Project Runway, gay and women-friendly programming like these are absolutely perfect for spreading the word to my target demographic groups."

Feldman has also made the commercials available for viewing on YouTube.

June 27, 2008
Boots Bryant
http://www.avn.com

Is Sex With a Robot Hooker Cheating?

So asks the headline at website Asylum. So far the poll shows 77% of respondents consider a little robot-love to be guilt free, something I'd agree with – after all, an all-singing, all-dancing (and all-sucking) robot doll is just a better featured vibrator, right?

The Lady, whom I always consult in matters sexual and sartorial, agrees. "Do you think using a vibrator is having sex?" she asked me, "I do. It's having sex, but it's not getting laid."

But what about the partner left at home? Because these dolls are so human, waving goodbye to your man as he heads off to the cyber-brothel might not be so easy. The erotic part of sex, after all, occurs in the mind, and the only reason to use a full sized fake woman is to pretend you are with a real woman.

In the mind of the John, is there a difference between the two? Is it the high-tech equivalent of getting up on the job, closing your eyes and pretending you are actually having sex with a celebrity (or as I have done in the past, drawing the face of Queen Elizabeth on a paper bag)? And if it is done illicitly, without the knowledge of your other half, is that deception is worse than the sex itself?

We suppose that there are advantages. No viruses (unless the girl runs Windows), and no payoff money if you happen to be a high profile, blackmail-able celebrity (a Gadget Lab blogger, for instance). For me, it comes down to price. If it's cheaper than dinner and a movie, I'm in.

June 30, 2008
Charlie Sorrell
http://blog.wired.com

More sex means less chance of ED for older men

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - There's new advice for older men who want to preserve their sexual function: have sex, and have it often, researchers say.

In a study that followed nearly 1,000 older Finnish men for five years, researchers found that those who were regularly having sex at the start of the study were at lower risk of developing erectile dysfunction (ED) by the study's end.

In fact, the more often the men had sex, the lower their ED risk.

The implication, say the researchers, is that men should be encouraged to stay sexually active into their golden years.

Dr. Juha Koskimaki and colleagues at the University of Tampere in Finland report the findings in the American Journal of Medicine. The study included 989 men who were between the ages of 55 and 75 at the outset.

Overall, those who said they had sex less than once per week were twice as likely to develop ED over the next five years as men who had sex at least once a week. Furthermore, compared with men who had sex three or more times per week, their ED risk was increased nearly four-fold.

A number of factors contribute to ED development, many of which could also affect a man's sexually activity -- such as age, diabetes and heart disease. However, after taking account of those factors, sexual activity itself remained linked to ED risk, Koskimaki's team found.

It may be a matter of "use it or lose it," according to the researchers. Just as exercise boosts physical fitness, they note, regular sexual activity may help a man preserve his erectile function.

ED occurs when there are problems with blood flow to the penis. Regular sexual activity, Koskimaki's team writes, may help maintain healthy blood vessel function in the erectile tissue.

SOURCE: American Journal of Medicine, July 2008.

July 7, 2008
http://uk.reuters.com

New book reveals Hugh Hefner's sex romp choke shock

PLAYBOY boss Hugh Hefner nearly choked on a sex toy during a romp, a new book will reveal.

The book Mr Playboy details the publishing mogul's history of sexual escapades.

The sex toy scare happened when the 82-year-old was dating Playmate Sondra Theodore in 1977.

A source said: "Hef began choking and was about to pass out. Sondra pumped his chest until the toy was dislodged."


July 8, 2008
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk

Sex Toy Technology Finally Hits Beauty Market

First sex toy worker bees busily manufactured vibrators in "girl-friendly" shapes and colors. The Rabbit! It's Pink -- for girls! And now beauty chemists and marketers are releasing mascaras that vibrate, as everyone knows you are supposed to apply mascara to lashes by moving in side-to-side motion, gently working your way up, from base to tip.

Estée Lauder and Lancôme have announced plans to launch mascaras that vibrate, offering a gentle buzz to any female's otherwise static beauty regime.

Lauder is coming out with TurboLash All Effects Motion Mascara, a battery-operated, vibrating mascara  which delivers 125 micropulses per second, while Lancôme’s Oscillation delivers 7,000 micro-oscillations a minute. Both tubes will require batteries to operate, which could bring in a host of problems, a la the Weeds episode when Nancy Botwin (MLP) was unable to find batteries to work her vibrator, and went days with sexual angst and frustration. However, this time, women will angrily plow into work and on the subway with imperfect lashes, which could absolutely ruin her day.
 
Both mascaras will appear in stores this fall, Lauder's available exclusively at Saks Fifth Avenue and yours for $30 (!), and already beauty-crazed women everywhere are brazenly singing, "Hey, don't knock it 'til you've tried it."

July 3, 2008
http://www.collegeotr.com

Seniors Having More Sex Than Ever

When it comes to sex, grandma and grandpa are having more of it these days, new Swedish research suggests.

According to the study, the last quarter century has seen a dramatic rise in the frequency of sex among the 70-year-old set, whether married or unmarried. And as an added bonus, seniors today (particularly women) say they're much more satisfied with their liaisons than the previous generation -- facing less sexual dysfunction and feeling more positive about the experience.

"Our study shows that a large majority of elderly consider sexual activity and sexual feelings a natural part of late life," said study author Nils Beckman, a doctoral candidate with the neuropsychiatric epidemiology unit at the Institute of Neuroscience and Physiology at Gothenburg University. "It is thus important that health professionals and others take sexuality into consideration, irrespective of age."

The findings are reported online in theBritish Medical Journal.

Beckman and his team reviewed surveys concerning sexual behavior and attitudes that had been completed by more than 1,500 healthy 70-year-old Gothenburg residents over a 30-year period.

The polls had been conducted in 1971-1972, 1976-1977, 1992-1993, and 2000-2001.

Between the first survey and the last, the frequency of sexual intercourse was found to have increased among all groups. Among married men, 68 percent said they were engaging in the practice in the latest poll, compared with 52 percent in 1971, while among married women the number had risen from 38 percent to 56 percent.

Among unmarried men, the jump went from 30 percent to 54 percent in the same 30-year span, while among unmarried women the observed bump was from just under 1 percent to 12 percent.

Women seemed to make the most headway in terms of increasing their sexual satisfaction. While men expressed more positive attitudes about sex in 1971, by 2001 the gender difference had evaporated.

As well, more 21st-century women said they were highly satisfied with their sex; fewer said they had low satisfaction; more said they experienced an orgasm during sex; and fewer said they had never had an orgasm.

Regarding the degree to which the respondents said they felt "very happy" about their relationship, the three-decade trend also moved in a similarly positive direction for both genders: rising from 40 percent to 57 percent among men, and from 35 percent to 52 percent among women.

Beckman and his colleagues speculated that, in part, the findings might simply reflect the degree to which Western societies have become more comfortable in dealing with sexual matters frankly and openly -- perhaps leading to a greater willingness to honestly report sexual encounters.

"(And) maybe it has become more permissible to leave an unhappy marriage today," suggested Beckman. "And even for widows [and] widowers to establish new relations."

Whatever the explanation, S. Jay Olshansky, a professor of public health and senior research scientist at the Center on Aging at the University of Illinois at Chicago (UIC), said the findings closely mirror the results of similar research conducted at UIC and elsewhere.

"Probably the addressing of physiological problems with the development of medications like Viagra explain some -- but not all -- of the upward sexual activity trend," he said. "But the most important point being made here is that when it comes to sex, clearly it doesn't matter what age you are. At least most men and many women still have a desire to have it as they age."

More information

For more on seniors and sex, visit the U.S. National Institute on Aging.

SOURCES: Nils Beckman, R.N., doctoral candidate, neuropsychiatric epidemiology unit, Institute of Neuroscience and Physiology, Gothenburg University, Sweden; S. Jay Olshansky, Ph.D., professor, public health, and senior research scientist, Center on Aging, University of Illinois at Chicago; July 2008,British Medical Journal

July 9, 2008
http://www.washingtonpost.com

The 5th China International Sex Toy Exhibition

Sex is on the agenda this month and it's all about accessory-assisted sexuality. Next weekend, The 5th China International Adult Toys and Reproductive Health Exhibition (a.k.a. China Adult-Care Expo—we love the name) takes place. As an exclusive and trade-only show, China Adult-Care Expo has become one of the more renowned trading fairs in the industry. Items on display will include: vibrators, dildos, love dolls, anal stimulators, bondage gear, lube, erotic furniture, piercing, condoms, toys for girls/boys, lingerie, S&M gear, sex-related medicines, and we-have-no-idea -what-that-does-but -it-looks-scary products.

Last year set the record for the biggest crowds when 30 000 people attended the exhibition. This weekend, 85 exhibitors from Sweden, China, America, Japan, Korea and Hong Kong will show their stuff to visitors from more than 30 countries.

"China Adult-Care Expo has become a genuine pageant in adult toys industry providing visitors with a fantastic opportunity to find out about trends and new technologies.The exhibition is dedicated to bringing together everyone that has a professional interest in adult care products."

And if you can't make it to the Adult-Care Expo this weekend and you're still craving a piece of vibrating rubber, there is always the massive sex market on Suzhou Creek which so few seem to know about--so here you go and you can thank/punish us for it later.

As Smart Shanghai's Matsume describes the place: it's: "a sex market about four floors, full of shops with all kinds of goodies. They have everything from dildos, lubes, vibrators, S&M outfits, lingerie and herbal viagra as well."

The market has hundreds of little shops and you can pick up a variety of odd cheap contraptions. But if you would prefer to spend a bit more and get some really decent artistry, Swedish brand, Bloomnine, who recently set up shop in Shanghai, will sort you out.

The 5th China International Adult Toys Exhibition
Dates: July 19 – 21
Hours: 9 am – 5 pm
Venue: Shanghai International Exhibition Center (INTEX Shanghai)
No. 77 Xingyi Road, Changning District, Shanghai, China
Phone: 86-21-22817535

Suzhou Creek Sex Market:
Kai xuan men Dasha , 428 Tianmu Zhong Road (Take Line 1 metro to Xinzha Lu. Cross the bridge over the river and its two blocks straight ahead on the right side), taxi print out here.

July 11, 2008
http://shanghaiist.com

Republican politician named in gay sex scandal

Alabama Attorney General Troy King, a conservative Republican Christian who has called homosexuality the 'downfall of society,' has been caught with his pants down—literally—in a gay sex scandal.

King was reportedly nabbed having sex with a male assistant by his wife, Paige King, in the couple’s own bed.

After being caught having sex with his male aide by his wife, Attorney General King was reportedly banished from his home in Montgomery by his infuriated spouse, according to PerezHilton.com.

Although reports about the scandal are sketchy and the events have yet to be confirmed by official sources, some media outlets are reporting that King is preparing to resign over the affair.

King, considered a potential front runner for Alabama Governor in 2010, has been vocal in his condemnation of homosexuality and abortion.

He has worked to outlaw sex toys and is a staunch supporter of the death penalty.

King previously served as Assistant Attorney General and was appointed to Attorney General by Alabama Governor Bob Riley in 2004.

As a law student at the University of Alabama, King wrote frequent editorials for The Crimson White in condemnation of gays, affirmative action and abortion.

In his editorials for the student newspaper, King called homosexuality the ‘downfall of society’ and said AIDS could be cleansed from America if "this nation’s current purveyors of perversion would refrain from committing sodomy."

King also slammed the idea that gays and lesbians could provide loving, normal families for children, saying:

"I often hear the argument that homosexuals who live together create a loving, caring family environment, perhaps an environment which is even superior to that which can be provided by a heterosexual couple. In this day of rampant decadence, many homosexuals would misled society into believe that three men, an armadillo and a house plant create a functional family."

A spokesperson for Governor Bob Riley has denied that King is preparing to resign from his post as Attorney General over the scandal, according to The Locus Fork Journal.

Spokesperson Tara Hutchison stated the Governor’s office has heard nothing about a resignation and knows nothing about the rumors King was kicked out of his home over a gay affair.

The Attorney General's office has reportedly denied the rumours of King's affair, according to various media outlets.

King is a long-time supporter of presumptive Republican presidential nominee John McCain and his name has been tossed about as a possible candidate for Alabama governor in 2010.

July 13, 2008
http://www.pinknews.co.uk
© 2008 GayWired.com; All Rights Reserved.

American sex culture still taboo to most

We've come a long way, baby. At least that's what we'd like to think.

In 1986, the most controversial film of the year was David Lynch's Blue Velvet, a film about a sleepy, picket-fenced small town and its salacious, crude undercurrent -- and probably for good reason: It's probably the only Academy Award-nominated film that prominently features both erotic asphyxiation and lobotomy.

The ensuing uproar seems understandable, at least until you realize the most controversial film in 2005 was probably the only Academy Award-nominated film that prominently featured two cowboys who scandalously fell in love.

You'd think we'd have learned something from Lynch, but judging from the evidence presented in a Florida obscenity trial this month, it's small town America that is still living in a bubble.

The defense, arguing in favor of a porn site operator, is using Google Trends to show that Pensacola residents generally prefer an "orgy" over an "apple pie," according to Google search records.

Maybe we'll be changing that phrase to "as American as two girls, one cup" in the near future.

It's bizarre that this is still an argument. Doesn't it seem obvious? I learned in my high school biology class that the mission of every species, including homo sapiens, is to reproduce and help the species survive. So yes, while Leona Lewis' "Bleeding Love" is a jam and an eighth, people in the club would much rather hear Lil' Wayne li-li-li-li-lick it (or have it licked) like a "lollipop."

When it comes to the bottom line of survival, sex drives culture. Hell, "rock and roll" came from slang for having sex, and now it's become the signature of modern American music.

But all signs point to the fact that most Americans want sex to remain a subculture. Think about it: Our main mission as living beings is to have sex, but we don't want anyone to know we're doing it. Imagine if Wal-Mart didn't advertise its everyday low prices, instead trying to convince consumers that it was the most expensive retailer in the country.

An article in Wednesday's Collegian made it clear that those dudes with the "I'd rather be fishing" bumper stickers are full of crap, unless "fishing" is some creepy slang for getting some. According to a recent study, 53.3 percent of participants enrolled in college had sex during the fall following high school graduation, compared to 70.2 percent of participants not enrolled in college.

I guess that's the answer to the question "What are you doing with your life?"

We're still arguing about 15-year-old Miley Cyrus having an unclothed back in Vanity Fair, because, of course, everyone knows "spine" comes right after "breasts" and "ass" on the list of men's favorite body parts.

Yet last week, Flavor Flav told Complex Magazine that he lost his virginity on a box in the bushes at age 6. Everybody, say it with me: YEAAH BOYYY!

We've been through all this before. Elvis' hips, Madonna's S&M, Janet's nipple. The next day, everyone was still standing. And the next day, everyone was still trying to get laid.

Kevin Doran is a former Daily Collegian editor and reporter and is the Monday columnist. His e-mail is kevin.a.doran@gmail.com.

July 14, 2008
Kevin Doran
http://www.collegian.psu.edu

'Sex talk' advice packs for parents

Parents should be sent advice packs to help them talk to their children about sex, a Government advisory group said.

Encouraging families to discuss sex and relationships will help drive down the teenage pregnancy rate, it said.

The Teenage Pregnancy Independent Advisory Group (TPIAG) also renewed its call for sex education - as part of Personal, Social and Health Education (PSHE) - to be made a mandatory part of the National Curriculum.

In its annual report, the TPIAG recommended "the removal of the restriction on promoting condom use before the 9pm watershed".

It also wants to see a website developed with information for parents, teachers and pupils.

The report said: "TPIAG would like to see restrictive and outdated broadcasting standards reviewed and overhauled to ensure positive sexual health messages, including the advertising of condoms, are communicated effectively before the 9pm broadcast watershed."

"TPIAG believes the Government should develop a safe web portal, which can be easily found and gives immediate access to safe and approved websites on SRE and teenage pregnancy-related issues."

The group said clinics providing abortions should also receive funding to supply contraception with the aim of cutting the number of repeat terminations.

Young people need easier access to contraception and sexual health services both in the community and in schools and colleges, the group said in its annual report.

TPIAG chair Gill Frances said: "There need to be more conversations about sex and relationships, both at home and at school. Parents are a child's first educators and they need to know how to talk about the issues if we are serious about reducing teenage pregnancy in this country."

July 16, 2008
http://ukpress.google.com

Three’s a crowd? Pregnant sex stirs thrills, fears

Just a month before her twins were born, Angelina Jolie boasted to Us Magazine that pregnancy is “great for the sex life. It just makes you a lot more creative. So you have fun, and as a woman you’re just so round and full.” Her statement prompted one pregnant friend of this column to grumble about how life is wickedly unfair if Angelina Jolie gets to be Angelina Jolie and also gets to enjoy great sex during pregnancy while many other women are having trouble keeping down lunch.

Well, some people really do have great sex during pregnancy. Some people also have lousy sex, or no sex, and are miserable about it. But many of those miserable people don’t have to be miserable, say experts, and sex, or at least intimacy, can be helpful to parents and baby alike.

As one Polish study put it, “research makes it evident that experiencing sexual satisfaction by pregnant women improves their self-esteem, facilitates [the] mutual relationship between partners and tightens the marital bond.”

But sometimes, says Armin A. Brott, author of “The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips and Advice for Dads-to-Be,” men and women aren’t sure what to expect when she becomes pregnant, nor how their mate might be feeling about everything from body image to desire.

“There is lot of second guessing that goes on about sex during pregnancy,” says Brott, who has talked to “thousands” of men on the topic of pregnancy. “As soon as a woman begins to notice her body change, lots of guys say ‘She is self-conscious about her body. She is not feeling good. I will leave her alone.’ But at the same time many women find their growing bodies to be somewhat erotic and may be more into having sex than before. But she says to herself ‘He does not find my changing body much of turn on any more.’ So they both back off a little bit even though they both may be turned-on by her body.”

Ups and downs in the bedroom
Study after study shows that most women go through a somewhat predictable trajectory of desire during pregnancy. Libido drops during the first trimester, often rises during the second, and then falls off precipitously in the third. The reasons are pretty obvious.

“You can imagine making love and suddenly having to get up to vomit,” Brott says, not uncommon during the first trimester. But things usually settle down during the middle three months before some significant discomfort can take over — often requiring new and sometimes challenging positions — during the last three.

UCLA reproduction researcher Dr. Kari Sproul surveyed 30 women (divided into two groups of infertility patients and non-infertility patients) for a 2004 study and found that the non-infertility patients had intercourse 6.6 times per month before the pregnancy, 3.8 times per month in the first trimester, 4.3 in the second, and 3.1 in the third. The infertility patients, perhaps reflecting heightened concern after their struggle to become pregnant, had intercourse less than once per month during the first trimester, 1.3 in the second and .07 in the third.

Subsequently she surveyed the women in both groups using a measurement called the Female Sexual Function Index and found that while desire remained virtually unchanged from the first trimester compared to the third, some physical indicators, especially lubrication, dropped significantly. On a scale ranging from 2 to 36, overall sexual satisfaction by the third trimester was 18.92, which isn’t too bad, Sproul says, all things considered.

“We inferred that even though during pregnancy there is a decline in the frequency, the actual function or quality of intercourse does not change,” Sproul explains.

Hitting the baby on the head
Though women are often depicted as the crazy ones during pregnancy (think Lucille Ball ordering Ricky out to get sardines and ice cream) men are sometimes the irrational ones. Men can feel as if they are being watched by their future offspring, or that they will hurt the baby usually by hitting it with their penis.

Such worries are unfounded. It would be virtually impossible for any man to bonk Junior on the head or poke his eye out with that thing, for example, because the penis would have to be very, very long and even then it’s unlikely to bother the baby. (Sorry, men.)

But, says Sproul, research has proven that “the chances of doing something to the baby is small,” and that unless the pregnancy is fraught with complications like bleeding or contractions, there is no reason not to have sex and enjoy orgasms throughout the pregnancy if both partners feel like it.

Almost as important as what’s going on in her body is what is going on inside his brain.

July 17, 2008
Brian Alexander
http://www.msnbc.msn.com

Coming Soon: Your Own Personal Sex Machines

UNIVERSAL CITY, California -- It's the ultimate revenge of the nerds as product developers use their big brains to create sex machines that kick pleasure into overdrive. In fact, the very nature of the sex "toy" is changing as a new generation of sex-positive engineers infiltrates the industry.

From the smooth, silent glide of the Monkey Rocker Tango to Le Chair's ability to put two people into a dozen compromising positions, the new products and prototypes unveiled at this week's Adult Novelty Expo straddle the line between toy (a passive, frivolous object) and machine (a substantial apparatus that inspires commitment and even emotional attachment).

Here are some of the most interesting.

Power Bullet

The gigantic Power Bullet gives you the stealth option, because it doubles as a muscle massager and hides its complex machinery inside a velvety, matte-black cylinder. It wouldn't be out of place in a Pilates studio or a physical therapist's office for people to roll up and down their quadriceps, but straddling it on a pillow is going to be a lot more effective at relaxing muscles and relieving stress. Its motors provide a deep throbbing touch and its single button offers a simplicity much appreciated by tired tech workers with wrist pain. I'm just sayin'.

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Imatah

As you can see in this photo, Imatah spokesmodel Danka takes the machine's debut very seriously. That's a custom-made dildo mounted on a plate connected to a mechanism that can pump straight in and out or move in an oval pattern. The Imatah weighs about 5 pounds and comes with a fabric sleeve that hides its legs and prevents the machine from falling off the bed when you use it.

"The machine becomes part of you!" gushes inventor James Hatami, who is working with Fleshlight (NSFW) to add functionality for male users. The Imatah requires only a 12-volt power supply "so you don't electrocute yourself," Hatami says.

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Monkey Rocker

The original Monkey Rocker (NSFW) is an amazing cybersex accessory, a silent machine that responds to your body motions without any complicated control panels or need for batteries. It's handmade from powder-coated, 100 percent recovered and recycled wood fiber -- PermaCore MDF, if you want to get technical -- and supports up to 400 pounds.

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Monkey Rocker Tango

The new Monkey Rocker Tango brings the cybersex experience offline -- when you meet your online lover in person, you can both ride it at the same time (as long as your combined weight is less than 450 pounds). The Tango also works for folks who skip the whole cybersex thing and just have a regular ol' fashioned, in-person relationship. (Weird!)

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Le Chair

In a surprise departure from its inexpensive signature collections from porn stars and sex therapists, an upcoming robotic sex chair from California Exotic Novelties (NSFW) is based on love furniture already available in Japan.

This prototype, called Le Chair, comes with motors in the seat and back supports that can pound, vibrate or stroke. One seat adjusts up and down to place lovers in optimal positions for various intimate activities, and both sides provide arm and leg support as well. A representative confided that the company plans to work with programs to help get Le Chairs to war veterans wounded in Iraq and Afghanistan at low or no cost.

At right, we have Le Chair with people in it, to give you an idea of its scale. For this picture, we have raised one seat and reclined its back support. If the woman were to lie back, her pelvis would be positioned conveniently for her partner's mouth. The target audience for Le Chair is "adventurous people" and "people with physical limitations," says California Exotic Novelties, although of course it's fun for everyone.

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Menage-A-Tool

I'm convinced that the man who goes by "Preston Penobscott" developed the Menage-A-Tool (NSFW) simply as an excuse to spend more time in his machine shop, machining things. The tool is an adjustable, lightweight rod with two attachments for various dildos, so you can penetrate two people at a time and still have one hand free for someone else.

"The next one's gonna be hydraulic," he enthuses, already sketching out how he wants to make the new version even more adjustable so the dildos can go closer together for double penetration or further apart if whatever you're doing requires more space between your partners.

See you in a fortnight,

Regina Lynn

July 18, 2008

http://www.wired.com

Alabama Supreme Court upholds sex toy ban

MONTGOMERY - The Alabama Supreme Court on Friday upheld the state's ban on the sale of sex toys, but Love Stuff, the Hoover store that filed the challenge, has no plans to stop selling the devices.

While people have the right to use the devices in private, the Legislature has the right to ban public distribution of those products, the court majority ruled in a 7-2 decision.

Love Stuff had asked the court to strike down the 1998 law, arguing that the ban violated a person's right to sexual privacy. The court upheld the law, saying public morality was a legal reason to regulate sales.

"Public morality can still serve as a legitimate rational basis for regulating commercial activity, which is not a private activity," Associate Justice Michael F. Bolin wrote in the majority opinion.

The judges cited an opinion from the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Atlanta that also upheld the law from a legal challenge filed by the American Civil Liberties Union.

"As the 11th Circuit pithily and somewhat coarsely stated: `There is nothing `private' or `consensual' about the advertising and sale of a dildo,'" the majority opinion said.

Love Stuff attorney Amy L. Herring said the store is reviewing its options. That may include an appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court, because appellate circuits have decided the legal issues differently, Herring said.

"It's been an issue in the Southeast because no one else has a problem with this," Herring said.

Regardless, the store does not plan to close, she said.

Herring said she was pleased that two justices dissented from the majority opinion.

"In my opinion, the majority's focus is unduly narrow and ignores the burden the statute places on private sexual activity," Associate Justice Thomas A. Woodall wrote. Chief Justice Sue Bell Cobb also dissented in the case.

Friday's decision came out of a 2007 case in which the city of Hoover tried to have Love Stuff shut down. Jefferson County Circuit Judge Robert Vance ruled for the store, saying the state law banning an "adult-only" business from operating within 1,000 feet of homes, churches, schools and day care centers was too vague.

But Vance's ruling also rejected Love Stuff's request to declare unconstitutional the state ban on selling sex toys and other obscene material. Lawyers for Love Stuff filed an appeal, leading to Friday's state high court decision.

The law, passed in 1998, prohibits the sale of "any device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs." Exceptions are given for medical, scientific, educational and other purposes. Love Stuff requires customers to sign a statement declaring their purchase is for one of the listed reasons.

Hoover Mayor Tony Petelos said Friday city lawyers hadn't had a chance to decipher the lengthy Supreme Court ruling.

Rep. John Rogers, D-Birmingham, has tried unsuccessfully to get lawmakers to repeal the law. He won the "Shroud Award" in 2003 for the deadest bill of the session for his efforts.

"They don't call it the Bible Belt for nothing," Rogers said Friday.

Rogers said the law was ridiculous and unenforceable. "What are you going to do? Stop people going into the bedrooms with them?"

September 14, 2009
http://www.al.com

Ladies: 5 ways to get your sex life going

Sexually dysfunctional women in the United States are, well, mostly out of luck.
Women's sexual dysfunction is an area of medicine that's highly neglected, experts say.

Women's sexual dysfunction is an area of medicine that's highly neglected, experts say.

Unlike men, there are no approved drugs to take. If you go strictly by the rules, the best medical science has to offer is counseling, or a device that applies suction to your clitoris, or physical therapy for your vagina. While not to diminish these choices, where's that convenient, little blue pill for women?

That's what Joanne wanted to know. This isn't her real name, but she's a 26-year-old nurse at the Cleveland Clinic who felt no sex drive -- nothing, nada, zilch -- for eight years. She wasn't happy, and neither was her boyfriend.

When Joanne asked her gynecologist for help, she told her to talk to her psychiatrist. Her psychiatrist said her antidepressants were to blame -- they're known to decrease libido in about a third to a half of women, experts say.

"My psychiatrist just kind of shrugged her shoulders," Joann says. "It was just like, well, that's a side effect of the drug. That's just the way it is."

Finally, fate intervened on behalf of Joann's sex life. Last year, the anti-depressants she was taking stopped working, and her psychiatrist had to switch her to a new one. "All of a sudden, my sex drive went through the roof. It was awesome. It was wonderful," she says.

But it wasn't perfect, or even close to it. Probably because of her long-dormant sex drive, Joanne could get sexually excited, but couldn't reach orgasm. Again, after being shuffled around to various doctors, Joanne ended up with a urogynecologist at the Cleveland Clinic.

That doctor prescribed the anti-impotence drug, Cialis. At first Joanne thought it strange to take a drug meant for a man. But she tried it, and she says it's helped somewhat. "I'm still not able to achieve orgasm, but I'm getting closer each time," Joanne says. "We're working with changing the dosage."
Don't Miss

Getting help for women's sexual problems is often a long and complicated road. "This is an area that's highly neglected," says Dr. Sharon Parish, an internist at the Albert Einstein School of Medicine who treats sexually dysfunctional women. "Many primary care doctors have no idea what to do."

So if you want help for your sexual problems, you may have to make suggestions to your doctor. "I feel like if I hadn't aggressively pursued it, I'd still be stuck in the same spot," Joanne says.

Here are some treatments for sexual dysfunction you can discuss with your doctor.

1. Impotence drugs such as Viagra, Levitra and Cialis

Some studies, like one out this week in the Journal of the American Medical Association, show they work for some women with sexual problems; others have shown they don't work.

A woman's biggest hurdle could be finding a doctor who'll prescribe them, since they're approved by the FDA only for men.

The solution: Be frank with your doctor. Ask if he or she is willing to consider prescribing these drugs "off label." Be clear that you recognize these medicines have not been approved for women, and that you want to know about the risks and benefits.

2. Testosterone

Experts we talked to said taking testosterone has helped many of their female patients. "It not only helps with sex drive, it will also help with arousal," says Dr. Cynthia Brewer, a clinical associate at the Center for Specialized Women's Health at the Cleveland Clinic.

Testosterone, produced naturally by both men and women, boosts libido. Synthetic testosterone, however, has been approved only for use with men. In 2004, the FDA declined to approve a testosterone patch for women, saying it hadn't been thoroughly tested.

As with Viagra and its cousins, if you're interested in possibly trying testosterone, tell your doctor you know it's off label, and you'd like to discuss the benefits and risks for women -- knowing that not all the risks are fully understood.

There's one big hitch: Testosterone is available only in men's doses, which are way too high for women. You'll need a doctor who's familiar with how to fit the dose to a woman. There's no one central place to find doctors who specialize in female sexual dysfunction, but you can start at the American Urological Association, or at the International Pelvic Pain Society.

3. Arginine

Some doctors suggest using a cream with arginine, an amino acid that's supposed to increase blood flow.

"It's supposed to act like Viagra," says Brewer. "I saw one patient try it, and it had benefits. For another it didn't. Women can try it and decide for themselves."

4. Anti-stress herbs

You don't have to be Dr. Ruth to know that when you're under stress, you're not in the mood for love. "Stress levels will affect a woman's libido. We're more sensitive to stress than our male counterparts," says Dr. Esther Konigsberg, medical director of the Family Practice Center of Integrative Health and Healing in Burlington, Ontario.

Konigsberg often suggests these anti-stress herbs to her patients with sexual problems: ashwagandha, astragalus, panax ginseng. Licorice can also be used for stress, but she says your physician must monitor your potassium levels.

5. Experimental medicines

"There are a few investigational drugs in the pipeline for both pre- and post-menopausal women," says Sheryl Kingsberg, a clinical psychologist and chief of the division of behavioral medicine at Case Western Reserve Medical School.
Health Library

While you can't get these on the open market, women can try to join a clinical trial. Two experimental drugs, called flibanserin and bremelanotide, work on the brain to increase arousal. A third, Libigel, is a gel that boosts testosterone.

The National Institutes of Health has a list of clinical trials for female sexual dysfunction.

And the most important rule: Don't wait for your doctor to ask you about sexual problems. "Women should feel empowered to bring up the topic first, because lots of physicians aren't comfortable bringing it up themselves," Kingsberg says.

Also, be aware that drugs won't help every woman with a sex problem. Kingsberg says drugs have helped about half of her post-menopausal patients, and about 20 percent of her pre-menopausal patients. The rest, she said, benefited from counseling.

July 24, 2008
Elizabeth Cohen
http://www.cnn.com/

Animals Get Freaky at Museum of Sex

When it comes to sexual promiscuity, Madonna's got nothing on the average free-loving, masturbation-happy bottlenose dolphin.

So I learned this morning at The Sex Lives of Animals, opening today at the Museum of Sex in New York City.

The exhibit contains everything you ever wanted to know about animal sex but were afraid to ask. Heck, it's probably more than you ever wanted to know, much less thought of asking.

Upon entering, wall text informs attendees that animals "participate in an astounding array of sexual behaviors, where all conceivable sex acts and sexual partnerships exist." Indeed they do -- and things get crazy well before the sex.

PandasThere's the sheer startling variety of animal sexual physiology: in about half the animal kingdom, individuals possess both male and female genitalia. Many species have three genders, if not more. Male Bornean fruit bats have milk-producing mammary glands; female hyenas have a pseudo-penis. Male barnacles are relatively better endowed than any other animal, and some tropical fish switch sex on demand.

Then we start getting into behaviors, which truly are astounding. Hermaphroditic banana slugs sometimes chew off their own penises. The aforementioned dolphins live in long-term, multiple-partner open relationships. Red deer spontaneously ejaculate by rubbing their antlers against the ground. Bedbug sex is every bit as horrid as you'd imagine. Baboons, bonobos and other primates engage in sex so frequently and variously that one wonders where wildlife documentarians get their G-rated footage.

Threedeer (And the once-cute prairie vole, insufferable ever since conservatives used them as lessons in purity? They're faithful and monogamous only when their booty calls go unanswered.)

It's quite a show, and its centerpieces -- life-size sculptures of copulating animals, including a deer threesome, by Norweigan artist Rune Olsen -- are stunning. But for reasons I'm still trying to explain to myself, I came away slightly unsettled.

"By exploring the most intimate part of life," reads another gallery text, "we can appreciate the significance of research on animal sexuality and, perhaps, extrapolate these concepts to larger issues regarding sexuality in general." A noble goal, no doubt, especially when confronted with the moral opprobrium of bedroom police. Calling homosexuality or most any other sexual behavior "unnatural" is simply inaccurate.

BonobosBut sex -- sexuality -- isn't always a matter of mere physicality, or even pleasure. It's psychological; it's emotional; it's more than bodies. And except for the human-like eyes of Olsen's sculptures, that's generally the level at which Sex Lives approaches its subjects. It's hard to interpet the animals' behavior as anything else than getting their rocks off; and when the sex takes place in a social context, as with primates, it still feels utilitarian rather than personal.

In short, Sex Lives goes a long way to dispelling our sanitized illusions of animal sexuality, but isn't without its own illusions. And in some ways, these make it harder for us to interpret animal sexuality for ourselves, as with the shellbacked mates of Italo Calvino's "The Loves of the Tortoises," who prompt Calvino to contemplate the nature of eros and union.

Also absent from Sex Lives is love. That condition is not, it seems, uniquely human, and deserves as much consideration as any other in a discussion of sexuality. And as the exhibit correctly places humans on the animal spectrum, one wishes they'd saved a little space for the strangest and rarest of all sexual creatures: happy, faithful lovers.

July 24, 2008
Brandon Keim
http://blog.wired.com/

Sex Toys For the Nintendo Wii, Truth Or Hoax?

Come September 9th of this year we can possibly expect a very interesting toy to come out for the Nintendo Wii. But, the authenticity of this new gadget is questionable.
According to a brief article on the website known as “Gizmodo,” the Nintendo Wii could possibly expect an interesting new gadget come September 9 of this year. However, the authenticity of the story is up for question. Right now, many are wondering what I am talking about.

On the Gizmodo article, it explains that there will be a pair of Wiimote sex toys. In the article, there’s a picture that looks like a dildo. Yes, it looks like that there’s going to be a Nintendo Wii controller that looks like a dildo. But perhaps this is just a fluke to get people riled up.

It is very likely that Nintendo itself would not take a stand for something such as a Wiimote dildo. This is reminiscent of an article I had written several weeks ago in regards to porn peddling on the Apple iPhone. On official applications, Apple has vowed to ban viewing of porn.

Perhaps Nintendo may take legal action.

The so-called Wiimote sex toys come from a mysterious company known as “OIOO.”

There is nothing on the website itself but the pictures. However, it does ask how much you would pay for such gadgets along with an e-mail address. One thing is for sure, the company and website does not look to be Japanese.

If that was the case, there would be .jp at the end of the url. However, there is .de at the end of company’s website url. Perhaps this company is based in Germany.

But there are questions to be asked:

Is this for real?

Will Nintendo be seeking legal action?

If it is for real, how much would you be willing to pay?

But, there is not much information present. In the meantime the possibility of such “gadgets” for the Nintendo Wii can neither be confirmed nor denied. I do have to agree, this isn’t your children’s Wii toy.

It does make me think of the College Humor video on rejected Wii concepts. Regardless, the authenticity is up for debate.

July 24, 2008
http://www.digitaljournal.com/

LifeStyles Condoms Wants Miley Cyrus for Spokesgirl

LifeStyles Condoms wants Miley Cyrus to be its spokesgirl.

The company says it has offered the 15-year-old Disney star — who has said she won't have sex until she's married — $1 million to represent the brand.

"Pop culture proves that teens are more ready than ever to discuss the subject of sex," says the company's VP of marketing, Carol Carrozza. "We believe that Miley is both influential and relatable to this afflicted set — and is the obvious choice to get the message of safe sex out to teens across America."

But Cyrus' rep says they never got an offer.

"We never received an offer, nor would she consider the offer," her rep tells E! News.

Meanwhile, Cyrus says she's almost done with "Hannah Montana."

"We’re thinking this is our last season," the star tells E!'s Marc Malkin.

The single Cyrus also told Ryan Seacrest on his KIIS-FM radio show that she would ideally date a "16-year-old [Coldplay lead singer] Chris Martin."

July 29, 2008
http://www.foxnews.com

Straight Men Who Have Sex with Men

Once again, a female singer has a hit song called "I Kissed A Girl"; I saw Katy Perry perform it on network television the other night. As she danced around in her cute yellow dress, I thought: "Wow, singing about lesbian smooching was pretty racy when Jill Sobule did it—same title and subject, different and better song—in 1995 on MTV." Now it's ready for prime time? Well, it's been almost 15 years. Plus, the whole idea isn't that threatening anymore. If a straight woman confesses she's messed around with another woman—even had full-blown sex with her—most people are quick to shrug it off. She was drunk. She's experimenting. At most, maybe this means she's bi-curious. But it's no big deal. Women have a lot more leeway to explore their sexuality with other women without questioning their orientation or setting any alarms off. On the other hand, society doesn't make room for men to do the same. Can you imagine the flip side of this scenario? No, I don't mean Bon Jovi topping the charts with a new rock anthem called "I Made Out With a Guy." Let's say one of your male friends confesses: "I was at the club last night with Bob. The music was pounding, I had a few shots, and his hair just looked so good, so we made out, and I jerked him off in the bathroom." For most people, there's really only one response: "Dude, you're gay." Maybe, but maybe not. According to the Centers for Disease Control, more than three million men who self-identify as straight secretly have sex with other men. Although there's been some mainstream dialogue about African-American men who have sex with men "on the down-low," there hasn't been much talk about white guys who do it. And there are plenty of them out there. Take a brief scroll through one day's worth of "Men Seeking Men" posts on New York City's Craigslist, and you'll find dozens of listings like "Str8 Guy Needs Great Cocksucker" or "Handsome Masculine Married Irish Guy Seeks One or Two Hung Married Irish Buddies Who Want Head and Maybe More." From the super-brief to the incredibly detailed, some posts offer interesting explanations:

Though I have always been hetero, I also have had a fantasy to anonymously suck cock and swallow his cum.

I am a married white male forty-six, six-one, one-ninety—a goodlooking, successful, Ivy-educated guy who finds himself in town alone this week. Not interested in changing my life in any major way, but do feel the occasional need to deal with this side of my nature.

I am married . . . looking to provide no reciprocation needed or wanted oral service for VERY masculine, verbal straight/bi/straight acting men. My clothes do not even have to come off. This is about YOUR pleasure . . . not mine.
These examples articulate some of the reasons why heterosexual men get it on with other men: for anonymous, no-strings-attached sex; to explore homoerotic desire without a gay identity or relationship; or to fulfill a fantasy, including one of dominance and submission.

"When these straight men have sex with other men, it is not about an attraction to the other man—it is about an attraction to the sex act," says Joe Kort (joekort.com), a licensed therapist in Michigan. "When asked about what they enjoy, it is never the actual man, but instead his body parts, the sexual behavior they engage in." Many of Kort's clients (who are overwhelmingly white) are straight men who have sex with other men (SMSM). He's even created Straight Guise (straightguise.com), a website dedicated to the subject. He cites dozens of explanations for SMSM behavior: "Some have been sexually abused and are compulsively re-enacting childhood sexual trauma by male perpetrators; some have sex with men because it's easier and requires fewer social skills than those required to have sex with women; some are 'gay for pay'; some like the attention they receive from other men; some like anal sex, which they're otherwise too ashamed to talk about or engage in with their female partners." He acknowledges that some of these men may be bisexual or closeted gay men, but in his experience in treating clients over an extended period, many of them are not. He believes that when it comes to sex, identity and orientation, preferences, fantasies, and behavior do not always neatly line up in one category. More often, they are complex and even contradictory.

Mike, whom I found on a personals website, is 44, married, and works on Wall Street. He has been having sex with men for four years, and says he likes the closeness and the male bonding. Plus, "It's just less complicated than with women. We're both there for sex, and that's it." John, 35, also works in finance, identifies as straight, and is dating several women. But he mostly enjoys getting blowjobs from men: "There are less emotional complications for me. Many men will do things some women will not, and many men give better oral sex. I think men will exercise their hunger for sex and not deny that they are horny more so than women. They feel comfortable sexually bonding." Both men admit that their female partners don't know about their behavior; in fact, their families and friends don't know.

Unlike some psychology professionals who want to pathologize these men, treat them for sexual addiction, or "cure them" of homosexuality, Kort approaches his clients without an agenda. He also unpacks some of the cultural baggage that contributes to this phenomenon: "They are interested in the sexual contact with other men. They are working through issues of father hunger, lack of touch from other males, and the need for contact with other men on deeper levels that women enjoy with each other and men do not. Some of these men tell me they meet other men and really just want to be held and talk to the other men, but that the men they meet want it to be sexual, so they go through with it but really don't want to. Ironically, since men are not allowed to touch—except for a pat on the butt in sports—they use the sexual realm to find ways to touch each other and receive touch."

July 29, 2008
Tristan Taormino
http://www.villagevoice.com/

China's Olympic-sized sex and gender problems

In a couple weeks, the Olympics begin in China. It's a big country. So big that it manufactures most of the world's sex toys, and was recently host to the world's largest sex toy expo, the Fifth China International Adult Toys and Reproductive Health Exhibition. In 2007, the expo boasted over 30,000 attendees who gawked, poked, squeezed and generally tingled (or cringed) at all the weird and wonderful and wobbly and mystifyingly gender-bending sex gizmos on display.

Next month, something similar is supposed to happen on a more athletic scale: The 2008 Summer Olympics will attract athletes, press and spectators from all over the world. And China's done some pretty weird things to get ready for the fete. Like Beijing shutting down all building sites and many factories to clear the smog after failing air quality tests. And arresting (or sorta-disappearing) the founder of China's pioneer human rights Web site 64Tianwang — the numbers refer to the date of the Tiananmen Square massacre. There's a lot more, like the pre-Olympic clampdown on sex, after-hours bars and adult lifestyle chat.

No sex please, we're Chinese. As if. But what's more to the point with China, sexuality, sexual human rights and the Olympics is Beijing's announcement that it will set up a "sex determination lab" for female Olympic athletes "suspected" to be males. You know, because we're sneaky like that. We could, like, totally kick your ass at the pole-vault competition with more experience than a girl should probably have with a pole in China, and no one likes that.

According to Xinhuanet News, "Suspected athletes will be evaluated from their external appearances by experts and undergo blood tests to examine their sex hormones, genes and chromosomes for sex determination, according to Prof. Tian Qinjie of Peking Union Medical College Hospital." In this context, women are being singled out as "suspects," "gender cheats," "getting caught," "being abnormal" and "failing" to be female, and judged by a parade of endocrinologists, gynecologists, a geneticist and a psychologist. Boys will apparently always be boys. Meaning, at the Olympics, men are never gender suspects. Contrast Beijing's female gender profiling to Athens, where at the 2004 Olympics, Durex donated 130,000 free condoms to athletes, and the Sydney 2000 Games, where each athlete got 51 condoms on arrival at the Olympic Village (yet happily, another 20,000 were cargo-dropped in when Olympians were "burning rubber" in earnest).

How are Chinese officials deciding whom to test? You only need to be "suspicious-looking" to be forced into testing. The Olympic Committee's woman-test began in the 1960s when Communist countries were untrustworthy "Reds," Russian and German female athletes made leatherfags lift weights a little more often, and the first method of "testing" was to "ask" suspected women to parade nude before a panel of doctors to verify their sex. Some didn't pass simply because they didn't "look right" down there.

San Francisco's Mikayla Connell is the former chairperson of the Board of Directors at Transgender Law Center and current board president of the San Francisco LGBT Pride Celebration Committee, and also an attorney at the Judicial Council of California. Transgender and intersex issues abound here, but turns out, the Olympics already have policies for such athletes. Connell tells me, "Though the subject of transsexual athletes might come to mind — that's not what this is really about. The Olympics has specific rules regarding transsexual athletes and how they can compete. With the rules about transsexuals in place, the people most directly affected (as I understand it) by 'gender verification' testing are people whose chromosomes, genitalia or genetics don't conform to whatever arbitrary standard the testing agency has created or adopted. People are drawing a line in the sand in a desert without borders — the line is arbitrary, and ultimately unsupportable scientifically. And unfortunately, the results are devastating to those found to be on the 'wrong' side of that arbitrary line. The Olympic Council of Asia should learn from the International Olympic Committee's 31 years of experience and drop this testing — it doesn't work and it's harmful to the athletes."

Connell also thinks — while the rest of us girls practically burst into our own Olympic torches of anger — that the Olympic Council hasn't come a very long way, baby. Not one to miss an exciting moment of misogyny, Connell adds, "You don't see men being tested for 'masculinity,' just women being tested for 'femininity.' There seems to be a perception in certain parts of the sports world that women who are really good at sports must not actually be women, but men in disguise."

But is this even legal? Connell tells me that it depends on whether you look like the current, local, cultural standard of female or not: "The Olympic Council of Asia, the governing body of sports in Asia, sets the rules, and despite other sports sanctioning bodies around the world dropping these kind of tests after decades of failures, they are persisting in the use of said tests. In short, the OCA is in charge, but they are at least a decade behind the times on this subject."

But OK, so then why should gender be tested for, like steroids? Connell tells us, "Gender should NOT be tested, and much of the international sports community already knows this. 'Gender verification' began in the late '60s, and was introduced into the Olympics in the 1968 games in Mexico. For the next 31 years, the International Olympic Committee (and various other sports sanctioning bodies) struggled with various methods to verify gender — they looked at genitalia, chromosomes and various other attributes, and in the end, they gave up. While the majority of people may conform to what is believed to be male (male genitalia, with XY chromosomes) or female (female genitalia with XX chromosomes) there is a sizable portion of the population that simply doesn't. There are women with XY chromosomes; there are people with genitalia not easily classified as male or female. The lines of gender get blurry around the edges — gender is not as binary (male or female) as people are brought up to think. And the international sports community learned this the hard way as it spent more than 30 years trying to nail down a sure-fire test for who is female and who is not. And in the end? They gave up. The International Olympic Committee dropped gender verification in 1999 because there simply is no reliable test for femininity, something that scientists and doctors had been telling the sports world for years. Socially, we can quickly (if inaccurately) divide people into two camps, male and female, but scientifically, human beings are not that simple."

Humans are not simple when it comes to sex and/or gender, but this is about sports. The thrill of victory, the agony of defeat, the male swimmers in those fantastically flimsy Speedos. The competitive environment creates enough hostility, despite the higher love of all for gamesmanship and excitement and beauty that athlete and sport can make us feel, all of us. But when a segment of the population is being singled out and rounded up for invisible crimes of genetics — not talking about steroids here — it sours the fairness of a spectacle that is supposed to be a gathering of nations on equal ground. Something our world needs very badly right now. So I had to ask Connell, does she think this creates a hostile, personally traumatic or dangerous environment for "suspected" athletes?

Connell retorted, "Of course! Especially for those female athletes who are declared not to be 'feminine' enough to compete. One article written on this subject in 1992 quoted John Fox, senior lecturer in obstetrics and gynecology at the Charing Cross and Westminster Medical School, as stating, 'Personal experience of several such athletes suggests that the psychological impact of failing the test, interpreted as implying they are male, is so damaging that they seek instant anonymity and disappear without trace.' How many fall into this category? Well, the 1992 article suggested as many as 1 in 400 female athletes fail to pass the tests, and other sources are similar, putting the 'fail' rate at 1 in 500 or 1 in 600 athletes. That's a lot of women being disqualified from competition because they are not 'feminine' enough by pseudo-scientific tests which 30-plus years of experience have shown don't work."

And how would we do things here in the city? Besides with unlimited free condoms, rainbow-flag Speedos, and weeklong Male Verification Beer Bust Nights at The Eagle and Female Verification Lap Dance Contests at Asia SF? While hitting speed-dial for Asia SF to book seats for two, Connell answered, "I believe we would follow the International Olympic Committees rules and there would be no gender-verification testing."

Yup. We've got your gender verification test right here. It's called Call Off Your Old Tired Olympic Sexist Bulls— and let the games begin.

July 31, 2008
Violet Blue
http://www.sfgate.com

Screech To Share Sexy Secrets From “Saved By The Bell”

Dustin Diamond, the actor who played the nerdy Screech in the popular series “Saved By The Bell,” announced he was planning to write a book in which he will reveal all the secrets behind the set of the sitcom.

Diamond said he would also include in his book, titled “Behind The Bell,” “sexual escapades among cast members, drug use, and hardcore partying,” New York magazine informs.

The former geek impersonator warned he would also tell on what his costars, including Mario Lopez and Elizabeth Berkley, did when cameras weren’t recording.

The show featured Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Mario Lopez, Lark Voorhies, Tiffani Thiessen, Elizabeth Berkley and Diamond as students of fictional Bayside High School and ran from 1989-1993.

“Behind The Bell” will be written with help from ghostwriter Alan Goldscher and will be released by Gotham Books.

Diamond had been a subject of controversy in the past, as the star of a sex tape in which he engaged in several sexual acts with two women. In 2006, the actor also got in a scuffle with a woman who allegedly broke into his hotel room while he was on tour with an adults-only comedy show. In the same year, he tried to save his Milwaukee home from foreclosure by selling autographed T-shirts on the Internet.

July 25, 2008
Ona Zachary
http://www.efluxmedia.com

Texas Loses Attempt To Argue Anew For Sex Toy Ban

AUSTIN — A federal appeals court turned down Attorney General Greg Abbott's attempt to reinstate a ban on the sale and marketing of sex toys Friday, upholding its previous ruling that the prohibition violated Texans' right to privacy.

The 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in February had struck down the Texas law, which made it illegal to sell or promote obscene devices.

The attorney general sought a rehearing on the matter, decided by a panel of judges. The state argued that the full court should have a chance to rule, but the court turned down the request and said any appeal would have to be decided by the U.S. Supreme Court.

Abbott spokesman Tom Kelley said the state hasn't decided yet if it will appeal the ruling.

Companies that own Dreamer's and Le Rouge Boutique, which sell the devices in its Austin stores, and the retail distributor Adam & Eve sued in federal court in Austin in 2004 over the constitutionality of the law. They appealed after a federal judge dismissed the suit and said the Constitution did not protect their right to publicly promote such devices.

The appeals court struck down the ban in February, ruling that it violated the right to privacy guaranteed by the 14th Amendment.

August 4, 2008
http://www.keyetv.com

Hetero sex a big HIV risk

STRAIGHT couples are much more likely to transmit HIV during sex than most people realise, with new research showing the true risk may be hundreds of times higher than official guidelines suggest.

Doctors and patients are told that on average only one heterosexual transmission of the AIDS virus would be expected for every 1000 sexual contacts, assuming one partner was HIV-positive and the other negative.

But US researchers have told a world meeting of HIV experts in Mexico that the true figure could be as high as one transmission for every 10 instances of vaginal sex.

The risk could be as high as one transmission for every three instances of heterosexual anal sex, the researchers told the International AIDS Conference - a risk level more than 300 times greater than the 1:1000 figure would suggest.

The researchers, who analysed findings from 27 previous studies on HIV transmission, said the underestimate had arisen because most of the studies were based on heterosexual couples with particularly low-risk habits.

Risk factors that would be common among a more representative sample included the presence of genital ulcers or other sexually transmitted infections; having sex a short time after the HIV-positive partner had been infected; and the male partner being uncircumcised.

The findings were published online yesterday by The Lancet Infectious Diseases.

August 6, 2008
Adam Cresswell
http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au

Marital sex on TV burdensome or non-existent: study

A new study says the boob tube is undermining traditional family values and creating a world where adultery and pre-marital sex are the new normal.

The study by The Parents Television Council, titled "Happily Never After" finds that television broadcast networks depict sex within marriage as "either non-existent or burdensome while showing positive depictions of extra-marital or adulterous sexual relationships with alarming frequency."

"These study results suggest that many in Hollywood are actively seeking to undermine marriage by consistently showing it in a negative manner," said Tim Winter, president of the PTC, in a release.

He goes on to say that in addition to its mostly negative portrayal of marriage, television has also become a stage for sexual expression that would have been unacceptable less than a generation ago.

Those include, according to the survey, threesomes, partner swapping, pedophilia, necrophilia, bestiality and sex with prostitutes.

Add to that depictions of strippers, references to masturbation and sex toys, and television has created the perfect storm to blast away the last remnants of family values in Hollywood, the report suggests.

Winter said the phenomenon will undoubtedly influence the values of future generations.

"Throughout much of the history of broadcast television, the networks adhered to a voluntary code of conduct which stipulated that respect should be maintained for the sanctity of marriage and the value of the home. Our report finds that not only are the boundaries no longer respected - they have been obliterated," Winter said.

The researchers who conducted the study examined all prime time entertainment programs on the five major U.S. networks over a four week period last fall. Movies, news, sports and reality programming were not included.

The networks ABC, CBS, Fox, NBC and the CW were included in the study.

Following are some of the key findings of the study across all networks:

    * Verbal references to non-marital sex outnumbered references to marital sex three to one.
    * Scenes depicting or implying sex between non married couples outnumbered by a ratio of four to one, scenes between married partners.
    * References to adultery outweighed by a ratio of two to one, references to marital sex.

Following are some of the study's findings broken down by network:

    * ABC has the most references to marital sex, but many of them put it in a negative light, while almost all referenced to non-marital sex were positive or at worst, neutral.
    * In 46 hours of programming NBC has only one reference to marital sex while there were 11 references to non-marital sex and one reference to adultery.
    * Also on NBC, references to incest, pedophilia, bestiality, prostitution, transsexuals/transvestites, partner-swapping and necrophilia outnumbered references to marital sex 27 to one.
    * And a tally showed NBC's depictions of adults having sex with minors as equal in number to scenes implying or depicting sex between married partners.

But Rob Salem, television critic for the Toronto Star, said the PTC is naive if it believes television has a role as an ambassador for family values.

"There's the expectation that television is some reflection of reality. Reality television isn't even a reflection of reality," Salem told CTV Newsnet.

"Have these people been living in a cave? I mean, pre-marital sex, extra-martial sex, it's not like this is new to television. It's been around for a while."

The study mentions the steamy "Grey's Anatomy", "Boston Legal" and "Desperate Housewives" as harmful to families, while the shows "Everybody Hates Chris" and "Friday Night Lights" are listed as depicting solid family values.

But Salem said TV has always pushed the boundaries and is continuing that trend.

"The thing I find encouraging is a lot of these shows are going beyond that and reinforcing non-traditional families with single parents or same-sex parents," Salem said.

Winter, on the other hand, is calling for a return to more modest prime time programming.

"Broadcasters, knowing television's ability to influence behavior, must exercise greater responsibility when handling sexual situations during primetime hours -- opting for less graphic visual content, and favoring storylines that don't celebrate promiscuity, glamorize criminality, or denigrate monogamy," he said.

"The American people need to hold the networks and their local broadcast affiliates accountable for pushing questionable content into their homes over the publicly owned broadcast airwaves."

August 6, 2008
http://www.ctv.ca

Thousands apply for job as sex toy tester

A website was inundated with responses from randy readers after it announced it was looking for sex toy testers.

Thousands signed up with the hope of landed the job where they would beasked to rigorously test 10 vibrators, bringing a new meaning to the term 'putting a hard day in at the office.'

20 lucky women were sent the £300 worth of sex toys and were asked to rate them in terms of, attractiveness, build quality, quietness, strength of vibrations and orgasm quality.

The website has now released the results of all the 'hard work' the women put in and named their top sex toy.

A weird looking device called the Fun Factory Delight came top with many of the 20 testers giving it a 100 percent orgasm rating.

August 8, 2008
http://newslite.tv

Dial S for Sex

A disturbing number of people confess to talking on a mobile phone during sex.

In a UK-wide survey by iGizmo, just over one per cent of people admit to talking on their phone whilst "on the job". One per cent doesn't sound like a lot, but it really is one per cent too many. On top of that, two per cent confess to talking on their phone during a funeral, whilst more than a third have chatted on a mobile whilst sitting on the bog at work, at home or in a public dunny.

The survey looked into the gadget usage habits of nearly 10,000 male and female consumers aged 16 to 45. I think the most disturbing thing about these results is that they probably won't come as much of a shock to most people.

Considering your phone is constantly by your side, people answering calls in the dunny shouldn't come as a surprise. Talking at a funeral is poor form, but even if you don't have respect for the dead you think you'd at least have respect for the living - especially when you're in the middle of shagging them.

It must be a pretty dud root if you'd rather answer a call rather than let it go through to voicemail and I wouldn't hold out much hope for the relationship. If you're waiting on a call that's really *that* important, maybe you should have kept your pants on a little longer.

It's pretty clear that people are obsessed with being connected and have their priorities out of whack. According to the survey, a mobile phone and an MP3 player are ranked higher on the list of priorities than beer, wine, spirits and smoking. Under 24s value socialising and their mobile second only to their family, whereas nearly nine per cent of under 16s view their mobile phone as more important than their health and their family.

Even allowing for possibly dodgy survey methodology, these results are a worry. What does it take for you to let a call go through to voicemail or, heaven forbid, turn off your mobile phone?

August 8, 2008
Adam Turner
http://blogs.smh.com.au/

Men challenge sex toy 'discrimination'

Apoteket, the state-run chain in Sweden, has been reported to JämO, the country's equal opportunities ombudsman, over its decision to stock only female sex aids.

The chain introduced the lines of vibrators and other items in June, but two claims have already been made against it.

One said that Apoteket was guilty of double standards, giving a "misguided and untrue view on sexuality where a woman with a dildo is seen as liberated, strong and independent, whereas a man with a blow up plastic vagina is viewed as disgusting and perverted."

But the company has defended its decision, saying it would stock sex toys for men if there were any good ones on the market.

Eva Fernvall, who oversees products for Apoteket said the company believed "there are no products of good quality for men on the market".

"Should there be such products specifically for men, then there is nothing stopping us from selling them," she added.

The ombudsman has rejected the claims, saying that "Apoteket's goods are made available to men and women, and therefore Apoteket does not break the law regarding sex discrimination".

August 12, 2008
David Thomas
http://www.telegraph.co.uk

Healthy Sex Life Can Extend Into 80s

A satisfying sex life is possible as you age into your 70s and 80s, new research suggests.

Many older Americans are apparently taking advantage of that fact, because 68 percent of men between 57 and 85 reported having sex last year, as did 42 percent of women, according to the study's lead author, Edward Laumann, the George Herbert Mead Distinguished Service Professor of Sociology at the University of Chicago. And, Laumann added, more older women might have wanted to have sex, but there just aren't as many available older men for them to partner with.

"Healthy people can have reasonably satisfying sexual health for most of their lives," said Laumann. "There are challenges that arise, but it's not aging, per se, that's the issue. A decline in sexuality may be the canary in the mineshaft. Sexual problems may manifest before diabetes and high blood pressure."

The study findings were published in the current issue ofThe Journal of Sexual Medicine.

"It's definitely whether you're elderly or "wellderly" that makes a difference," said Dr. Virginia Sadock, director of the program of human sexuality at New York University Langone Medical Center in New York City. "Illness and medications make a difference in sex lives."

Other factors that can get in the way of a satisfying sex life later in life include having had a sexually transmitted disease, and having physical problems, mental health issues or relationship difficulties, the study found.

The study included information from 1,550 women and 1,455 men between the ages of 57 and 85. All participated in the National Social Life, Health and Aging Project.

Some highlights of the study include:

Having had a sexually transmitted disease (STD) in the past nearly quadrupled a woman's odds of having sexual pain, and it tripled the odds a woman would have lubrication problems. In men, a history of STD was associated with five times the risk of finding sex unpleasant. In both older men and women, a common factor in sexual dysfunction and a decreased interest in sex was urinary tract syndrome. Both older men and older women reported that mental health issues affected their interest in sex. For men, relationship troubles also contributed to a lack of interest in sex and the inability to achieve orgasm. Drinking alcohol daily improved a women interest in and pleasure from sex. Alcohol didn't have that effect on men.Hispanic women were twice as likely to report pain during intercourse.Black men were twice as likely to say they weren't interested in sex and were more likely to report climaxing early.

"Sexual health is a harbinger of physical and mental health, and it plays an important role in the quality of life," Laumann said. "Older people don't just drop out of the picture. In general, if you're healthy, you can be sexually active."

Sadock added: "Don't assume that because you're older, your sex life has to be gone. If you're healthy and connected to someone, and you've had a pretty good sex life when you're younger, then you can have a pretty good sex life in old age."

More information

To read more about sex as you age, visit the U.S. National Women's Health Information Center.

SOURCES: Edward Laumann, Ph.D., George Herbert Mead Distinguished Service Professor of Sociology, the University of Chicago; Virginia A. Sadock, M.D., psychiatrist and director of the program of human sexuality, New York University Langone Medical Center, and professor, NYU School of Medicine, New York City; August 2008,The Journal of Sexual Medicine

August 14, 2008
Serena Gordon
http://www.washingtonpost.com

Man banned from sex at love nest

A man has been banned by a court from having sex with his partner at her home after keeping neighbours awake with loud shouting and banging in the night.

Brighton council obtained an injunction against Adam Hinton, 32, of Brighton, for threatening neighbours whose complaints had led to legal action.

Last week he was fined £200 for breaching a noise abatement order.

Partner Kerry Norris faced eviction and Mr Hinton has been banned from going within 100m (109 yards) of her flat.

Ms Norris lives in a one-bedroom council flat in Brighton.

Neighbours said they had suffered two years of the couple's noise throughout the night.

Some suffering sleepless nights had to be rehoused by the council.


August 14, 2008
http://news.bbc.co.uk

Pills snuff out women’s smell power

London: The Pill can screw up a woman's ability to sniff out a suitable partner, suggests a new University of Liverpool research.

Women are said to have an inbuilt ability to pick up the scent of a partner who differs genetically. Falling for this type of man helps ensure that the couple's children will have broad immunity against disease, so the theory goes.

But researchers found that birth controlling pills disrupt a woman's power to recognise the aroma of a compatible mate, says the study which has been published in the Proceedings of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences.

Disturbing a woman's instinctive attraction to genetically different men could result in difficulties when trying to conceive, an increased risk of miscarriage and long intervals between pregnancies.

Passing on a lack of diverse genes to a child could also weaken their immune system.

Called the Major Histocompatibility Complex (MHC), different MHC molecules fight different diseases, so it is important to have a mix of MHC types.

Previous studies have shown that, even though humans have a relatively poor sense of smell compared with other creatures, women tend to identify partners with suitable MHC molecules - preferring males with the correct mix of immune genes critical for the survival of future offspring and to curb inbreeding, which is harmful.

To reach the conclusions, the research team analysed how the contraceptive pill affects odour preferences. In the study, one hundred women were asked to indicate their preferences on six male body odour samples, drawn from 97 volunteer samples, before and after starting to take the contraceptive pill.

They did not find that women who were not on the pill were more attracted to men with a different MHC, showing that the extent to which preferences for genetically dissimilar odours varies from study to study.

But they did find that the pill made women more likely to be attracted to a man with a similar immune makeup.

“The results showed that the preferences of women who began using the contraceptive pill shifted towards men with genetically similar odours,” Telegraph quoted Dr Craig Roberts, who carried out the work in collaboration with the University of Newcastle, as saying.

“Not only could MHC-similarity in couples lead to fertility problems but it could ultimately lead to the breakdown of relationships when women stop using the contraceptive pill, as odour perception plays a significant role in maintaining attraction to partners,” he added.

August 18, 2008
http://sify.com

Getting Down With The SaSi: Does The "Most Technologically Advanced Vibe Ever" Live Up To The Hype?

The SaSi is, quite possibly, the most hyped sex toy ever introduced to the sex parts—it's certainly the most hyped sex toy that I've seen in my lifetime. Since announced at the AVN Expo this past January, I've heard countless tales of how technologically advanced the toy is; how unlike any other toy it is; how it will give you an orgasm, cook you dinner, and polish your floor to such a shine that you can see your face in it. (Okay, I made that last one up.) But now that the months have passed and the SaSi is finally available for purchase, does is actually live up to the hype?

The manufacturer of the SaSi makes two main claims about it: that it learns what you like and that it stimulates the body in a way completely unlike any other sex toy. So let's take these one at a time.

The first time I heard that the SaSi could learn how to get me off, I got a little freaked out, thinking that this toy was powered by some kind of A.I. voodoo that would sense when and how often and how hard the toy made me came. Not so much, though: turns out "learns what you like" is actually just code for "fancy system of programmable stimulation settings."

In other words, the SaSi has two different modes: "learning mode" and "favorites mode". (You select which mode you'd like to enter after you turn the toy on.) In learning mode, the SaSi works its way through every stimulation setting and pauses for twenty seconds at each movement pattern. If you like the way a pattern feels, you can hit the "don't stop" button. When you shut the toy off, favorites mode updates with your last five "don't stop" settings, turning the mode mode into your own customized orgasm session. It may not be as impressive as some A.I. voodoo, but it's still pretty cool.

As for the completely unique stimulation method, though ... well, this is where the SaSi really, really shines. Most vibrators function as a blunt object of erotic stimulation. You turn them on, they vibrate. Sure, you can alter the speed or pattern of vibration, and some of them have parts that swivel, but there's not a lot of subtlety involved.

But with the SaSi, things are different. From the top side, the SaSi looks a bit like a sleek, wireless mouse. Flip it over, however, and its true nature is revealed. You'll see a small bump, and it's this bump that makes all the difference. It kicks into action when you turn the SaSi on, moving along the clit as fast or as slow as you wish: it moves sideways, it moves in circles, it moves up and down. Most importantly, it places pressure (not vibration, but pressure) directly on or around the clit. As you may have guessed, it pretty closely simulates getting head. Try getting a Hitachi Magic Wand to do that.

But that's not all: in addition to the movements of its magic bump, the SaSi is also capable of vibrating in a traditional style. With the push of a different button, the body of the SaSi starts rocking and rolling. Vibration can be increased or decreased, or set to a variety of pulse patterns. If you can imagine a small tongue moving just the way you like that's connected to a flat, vibrating head ... well, that's pretty much what the SaSi is like. In other words, it's awesome.

I had just two issues with the SaSi. The first issue was relatively minor: after extended periods of use, the SaSi tends to get a bit hot. I wasn't particularly bothered by the sensation—I actually kinda liked it—but a part of me did worry a bit about the motor overheating, or possibly catching on fire. (It never happened. I just worry.)

The second issue was a bit more bothersome, and certainly something to keep in mind if you're planning on spending $185 to buy one. The SaSi is strictly a clitoral toy, which means it's not designed to penetrate the vagina. So if you need penetration to get off, or if clitoral stimulation makes you want to get fucked, you might find yourself a bit unsatisfied if you're not using it in combination with another toy.

On the other hand, if clitoral stimulation is all you need to get your world rocking, this may just be the best thing that's ever happened to your ladyparts. It's been a long, frustrating wait for the SaSi. But now that it's finally available, I can definitely say that wait was worth it.

You might also appreciate the fact that the SaSi is a rechargeable vibrator with a sterilizable silicone coating. So if you're diligent about cleaning it, you can share it with your loved ones. But with a toy this good, you might not want to.

August 19, 2008
http://fleshbot.com/

Park bench as sex partner

A "lonely and disturbed" Hong Kong man had to call police to try and free him after getting stuck on a park bench he had apparently tried to have sex with.

Emergency workers took four hours trying to free Le Xing in the deserted park after dark.

Eventually they had to take him to hospital with the bench's 2.5-metre-long metal base still attached to him.

August 20, 2008
http://ukpress.google.com

P&G to License Noven's Patch for Women's Sex Drive

Procter & Gamble, the world's largest consumer-products company, will license Noven Pharmaceuticals Inc.'s hormone skin patch designed to boost sex drive in women, Noven said.

Procter & Gamble will pay Noven undisclosed royalties, manufacturing fees and milestone payments for meeting development and commercial goals, Miami-based Noven said in a statement. Noven rose the most in three months in Nasdaq Stock Market trading.

The experimental testosterone patch treats lack of desire, the most common sexual complaint of women, according to Noven. The $2 billion-a-year market for male impotence treatments, led by Pfizer Inc.'s Viagra, has spurred a search for a version of the drugs for women. Procter & Gamble sells a testosterone patch for women, known as Intrinsa, in Europe though no therapy for the disorder has been approved in the U.S.

``We are excited to be advancing our collaboration with one of the world's best-regarded companies,'' said Peter Brandt, Noven's president and chief executive officer, in the statement.

A study published July 23 in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that Viagra improved sexual desire in women taking antidepressants who had complained that the medication diminished their arousal. Pfizer has said it conducted numerous tests of Viagra in women that showed the drug didn't increase women's desire or sexual enjoyment.

Still, several different therapies are being studied for women's lack of desire such as Lincolnshire, Illinois-based BioSante Pharmaceutical Inc.'s testosterone gel, LibGel. The therapy is part of three, late-stage studies that will involve more than 3,500 women, according to BioSante's Web site.

Cincinnati-based P&G will fund clinical development costs for Noven's patch and oversee applications to regulatory agencies, according to Noven.

August 21, 2008
http://www.bloomberg.com

Sex Trade Spikes During Conventions

Prostitution in Denver and Minneapolis will spike during the political conventions held there in the coming weeks, experts say, and online ads indicate sex workers are preparing themselves.

"Republican Convention Party Entertainment – Hostesses wanted," reads the headline of one "erotic services" ad from the Minneapolis area on Craig's List, the popular classified-ad Web site.

In the advertisement, the unnamed outfit said it was looking for "fun, outgoing" women to help entertain "High-end clients" during the convention, expected to bring tens of thousands of delegates, reporters, lobbyists and volunteers to the Twin Cities in two weeks.

The company did not respond to an emailed request for an interview. A recorded message for the phone number listed in the ad did not allow a message to be left.

In Denver, where the Democrats will hold their convention next week, a Craig's List "erotic services" ad titled "DNC Delight" beckoned, "Help me celebrate democracy," and promised a tall, blue-eyed, dirty-blond "Rebecca" will come to a visitor's room ("I only do outcalls to hotels").

In a second ad, "Rebecca" explained that she was offering a special convention rate of $350 for two hours – but to qualify, clients must "provide proof of dem. Membership."

Speaking by phone Thursday, "Rebecca" declined to give her real name and denied she performed sex acts for money. She confirmed that responses to her online ads had increased in the days leading up to next week's convention.

"We know it's going to rise," said Vednita Carter of Breaking Free, a Denver-based nonprofit which helps women and girls involved in prostitution and sex trafficking. "That's what we've been hearing from women who are involved in that life."

Crowds like those coming for the political conventions will inevitably mean a boost for the sex industry, said former prostitute Carol Leigh, a spokeswoman for the San Francisco-based sex workers-rights group Call Off Your Old Tired Ethics (COYOTE). Indeed, any convention which draws so many people boosts the prostitution business -- not just the political gatherings, said Leigh.

Police in St. Paul and Denver did not respond to requests for comment Thursday. In earlier news accounts, police spokesmen in both cities dismissed concerns that their cities' sex trades would flourish during the conventions.

August 22, 2008
Justin Rood
http://www.abcnews.go.com

Beer goggles: A drink or two really DOES make the opposite sex more attractive

It is something that anyone who has woken up regretting the night before has long suspected.

Now researchers have finally proved that beauty is in fact in the eye of the beer holder, rather than the beholder.

According to a new study, people do appear more attractive to both sexes when they've had a drink and have their 'beer goggles' on.

As little as a pint and a half of beer is enough to make everyone seem more desirable, researchers have found.

Men are worst affected, with their vision distorted or their 'goggles' lasting for as long as 24 hours after a heavy drinking session.

The study, conducted at Bristol University, involved male and female volunteers being randomly allocated either a drink of vodka and lime or a similar-tasting soft drink.

Half an hour later, they were asked to rate the attractiveness of 20 male and 20 female faces on a seven-point scale.

Those who had been drinking alcohol scored the faces around 10 per cent higher than those who had not.

The following day both sexes were tested again and men who had drunk alcohol still scored pictures of women more highly than the non-drinkers.

The researchers concluded: 'Alcohol consumption increases ratings of attractiveness of facial stimuli.

'In addition, the effects of alcohol consumption on ratings of attractiveness persist for up to 24 hours after consumption but only in male participants when rating female faces.''

Lead researcher Dr Marcus Munafo, an experimental psychologist, said the findings helped explain the phenomenon of drinkers having sex with someone they would never normally consider while sober.

'The findings are important because of the role drink plays in, for example, unsafe sex,' he added.

Experts believe that alcohol stimulates the striatum, an area of the brain that plays an important role in attraction.

Previous studies have found that more than two thirds of people – 68 per cent – have woken up the morning after the night before regretting handing out their phone number to someone they were not attracted to when sober.

Researchers from Manchester University concluded that light levels in pubs and clubs, the beholder's eyesight and closeness in proximity to the object of their desire all played a part in the 'beer goggles' effect.

August 11, 2008
http://www.mailonsunday.co.uk

'Longer sex' billboards banned

Prominent billboards promising longer lasting sex are to be removed from all capital cities across Australia.

The yellow billboards advertise medication for sexual dysfunction.

But the Advertising Standards Bureau (ASB) says it has received between five to 15 complaints a week over the ads and yesterday announced they will be removed.

The move is a reversal of the Bureau's 2007 decision that the advertisements were acceptable.

The Advanced Medical Institute (AMI) today said it would comply with the ASB's ruling.

"Our ads have been very successful in reaching men with sexual health issues to explain that help is available," AMI CEO Jack Vaisman said in a released statement

"We need to be direct in our advertising because we've found men don't respond to the message otherwise.

"More than 7,000 men call the Advanced Medical Institute every week for assistance. However, we are sensitive to community attitudes and if we're deemed to be out of step, then we'll change.

"What's concerning is that the ASB has done a complete about-face on community standards - last year the word 'sex' was OK, today it's not.

"We're not out to offend anyone, the purpose of our direct advertising approach is to let men know that help is available."

ASB chief executive Alison Abernethy says the ruling is not a reflection of the board being out of touch with community attitudes.

"I think that this shows the board is very responsive to the community's needs," she said.

"I think it demonstrates a clear understanding and belief in community, that community standards are always shifting."

August 26, 2008
http://www.abc.net.au

3 Ways To Put Sex Back Into Your Marriage

When you and your mate first met, it’s a safe bet there were sexual fireworks. The newness of the relationship, the rush of anticipation and the fact that you were about to enter into a previously unknown erotic experience all added up to phenomenal sex. And that’s the way it should be.

But once you two got to know each other, that same kind of electricity didn’t come so easily anymore. Sometimes, getting worked up sexually can seem like more work than play! That’s normal too, and you’re absolutely right to be looking for ways to spice things up again, since sexual attraction is one of the keys to long-lasting marriages.

So, let’s look at three factors that added up to great sex when you first slept with your mate, and see how you can reintroduce them into the bedroom.

Freshen Things Up
You may assume that there’s no way to get around the newness of the experience, but that’s not quite the case. Yes, this soul next to you in bed is still your life partner, and no doubt, a few years older and more worn than when you first laid eyes on each other. But you can use fantasy to meet your mate all over again. You can arrange for a blind date in a bar, find each other at a dance club or approach each other at the county fair. You can even precede the event by placing an ad in the personals section of the newspaper. Walk over, introduce yourself, and see if you’re able to get into each other’s pants! You don’t have to go out of your own home to stir up that sense of novelty. You can meet someone new by role-playing with your partner. Want a cute waitress, a kindergarten teacher, an escaped con or a personal trainer? Just ask your wife or husband to dress up for the part.

Waiting Game
Anticipation was also part of your original chemistry and since you kind of know that your guy or gal is a willing sex partner, there’s not that same breath-stopping moment before going to bed together. But there can be. Set up some mystery for your next sexual liaison. Have her hide somewhere in the house. Lock the doors on him and have him figure out which window is open (preferably when there are no kids around). Play up the moment and postpone your sexual liaison. Your wife might enjoy wearing sexy clothes. When she does this, try to fight her off a bit as she tries to lure you. If she plays along, you could ask her to refuse you a few times and finally give in. The growing heights of expectation should get the love juices going—much like when you were dating.

You can build expectations together by going to a sex-toy shop. Walk around, get ideas and start to touch each other as you talk about what you can or won’t do together. Even if you don’t buy anything, the anticipation will guarantee that you won’t even make it out of the car before you’re all over each other.

New Tricks
Untried sexual experiences were rampant when you were dating, but unless you’ve memorized the Karma Sutra, there are sure to be sexual experiences you haven’t tried. Experimenting with new sexual practices is a great way to increase the "wow" factor in your love life. One way to get started is to actually buy a toy at the sex shop. Doesn’t matter what it is, just having something new will get the motors revved-up. Also, watching a porn movie can give you some ideas for new positions. Finally, find unusual places to have sex that will challenge you to be inventive about positions. Sitting on a rocking chair or a rocky shore, laying spread eagle on a granite kitchen countertop or on a towel-strewn bathroom floor are all challenging, but fun places to try getting it on.

Bonus Sex
There’s something distinctive about the urgent ecstasy of being a teenager making out in the back seat of a Chevy. But one of the wonderful things about being hitched is it gives you the chance to find a deeper and more meaningful quality of lovemaking. Pay attention to the sense of closeness you feel with your life partner and enjoy the "buzz" of bonding not only with the person’s body, but with their soul as well.

Introducing novelty, stirring up anticipation and learning new sexual techniques won’t guarantee that all your encounters will be gangbusters, but by mixing the tried and true with the wild and new, you’ll get enough fantastic sex to keep both of you happy for a longtime.

Dr. Haltzman is a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at Brown University. He is also the author of the newly released "The Secrets of Happily Married Women: How to Get More Out of Your Relationship by Doing Less." You can find Dr. Haltzman at www.DrScott.com

August 27, 2008
http://www.hitchedmag.com

Eight bad reasons to have sex

As I'm sure you're well aware, there are many good reasons to have sex. In fact, sometimes you don't need any reason at all -- other than, say, loving your partner.
Eight bad reasons to have sex

However, sometimes a lady finds herself doing all the right things for all the wrong reasons. That's what we're here to cover. So if you find yourself in any of the following situations, please extricate yourself as quickly as possible:

Revenge: The most popular very-wrong reason to have sex, revenge sex never ends well.

Hooking up with his best friend because you're angry at your boyfriend will get you nowhere. If you do manage to break up their friendship, then you're stuck with an untrustworthy dude (if he did it to him, he'll do it to you).

Even worse, there's always the (strong) possibility that he went right back and told his buddy and the two of them are now comparing notes over high-fives and hot wings.

Ego gratification: You must be fine if that scorching hot bartender took you home. Or not. Men have been known to do some unsavory things for physical gratification. The fact that he's willing and able doesn't say squat about your appeal.

Appliance envy: Your roommate "doesn't believe" in air conditioning. You can't afford premium cable and are addicted to "Weeds." You're desperate to try out Wii Fit. All of these desires are perfectly rational.

However, they are absolutely not worth the price of waking up next to someone you otherwise cannot stand. (Well, except for the AC, but that's only if it's above 100 Fahrenheit.)

Weight loss: Yes, you may have read those women's magazine articles about how being physically intimate can help you shed pounds. However, a 120-pound woman burns only 57 calories during 15 minutes of sex. That's less than half a Hostess Ho-Ho. The sweat could do nice things for your skin, but your waist will remain the same size.

Clarity: Ever since you were nine years old and saw that topless Kate Moss Calvin Klein ad, you've had a hunch you were same-sex oriented.

Unfortunately, the thought of sharing this with anyone scares you, so you get yourself a boyfriend. But you can't stop thinking about that ad....

Mercy: Empathy for a sad soul is one thing; holding an intimate pity party is quite another. Oh, and you know that saying, "no good deed goes unpunished?" It goes triple in this instance. Misery loves company -- good luck getting him out of your apartment.

Quid pro quo: I'm not knocking or talking about the sex professionals out there -- this is for the amateurs among us. Just because he bought you a lobster doesn't mean you need to give up dessert. Catch my drift?

Fame by association: He's famous, you want to be. Contrary to what you might've surmised from that old Pamela Des Barres book, "I'm With The Band: Confessions Of A Groupie," fame is not transmissible through intimate contact. However, lots of other things are, so watch out.

August 28, 2008
Judy McGuire
http://www.cnn.com

Giant smelly flower puts on sex show in Belgium

MEISE, Belgium (Reuters) - It's one of the world's largest flowers, it stinks of rotting meat or rancid cheese and looks very much like a giant penis.

The Amorphophallus Titanum -- literally "the giant strangely shaped penis" -- has been attracting big crowds at the National Botanic Garden of Belgium on the outskirts of Brussels.

The rare phallus-like flower that springs from the plant only survives about 72 hours and its timing is completely unpredictable, said Gert Ausloos, head of education at the garden.

Auloos called it "a botanical superstar". "It's there for a short time, it's glamorous, it's big, it produces something special ... it's star quality."

Also known as Corpse Flower, it releases a strong smell to attract pollinators, thought to be sweat bees.

Thousands queued to see -- and smell -- the 1.6 metre tall specimen on Thursday.

Visitors compared the smell to rotten fish, others to rotten meat or old cheese.

"It smells like a mix of rotten fish and rotten meat. It's quite impressive!" said visitor Frederic Lebreux.

"I don't know, maybe like a Camembert," said Rachel Kaiembe.

First discovered in 1878 in western Sumatra, the plant was first cultivated in Europe at the Royal Botanic Garden, Kew, in London in 1889. Because of its appearance, Victorian women were kept from viewing it.

(Reporting by Marine Hass; writing by Ingrid Melander; editing by David Brunnstrom)

August 8, 2008
http://nz.entertainment.yahoo.com

Is sex on the beach legal?

Two Britons have appeared in court in Dubai after allegedly having sex on a beach in the Muslim emirate. What would happen if a couple got frisky on a beach in the UK?

The sandy shores of a beautiful beach might seem like the ideal setting for a romantic rendezvous.

But for 30-somethings Michelle Palmer and Vince Acors, getting carried away in the heat of the moment could come at a heavy price.

The pair - who are not a couple - were arrested in Dubai on 5 July, and charged with indecent behaviour, being drunk in public and having unmarried sex.

They admit drinking but deny the other charges. If found guilty at next week's trial, the punishment is between three months and six years in jail.

But would al fresco lovers face a similar fate if the mood took them on the shingle shores of Brighton or the golden sands of Durness?

The Sexual Offences Act 2003, which mainly covers England and Wales but also covers Northern Ireland in some areas, does not specifically legislate against sex on the beach so long as the act is consensual, says a Ministry of Justice spokeswoman.

"Effectively sex on the beach in isolated places is allowed, so long as there is a reasonable expectation of privacy - which someone engaging in such an activity would be expected to prove."

But someone could be charged with outraging public decency under common law, she says, if it is proven that at least one person has seen the act.

The witness has to see the "act of intimacy" first-hand. CCTV does not count, says travel lawyer Philip Banks, of the firm Irwin Mitchell.

Section 66 of the Sexual Offences Act 2003 - which bans exposing one's genitals if the intention is to cause alarm or distress - can also be applied in England, Wales and Northern Ireland.

Although the act does not fully apply in Scotland, indecent exposure is an offence under common law, says a spokesman for the Law Society of Scotland, although intent would be difficult to prove.

The same expectation of privacy applies north of the border, although there could be a breach of the peace if someone saw and was offended.

Another thing to bear in mind is that getting frisky on the beach in the presence of a child is a criminal offence under section 11 of the act, says the Ministry of Justice spokeswoman.

And a person can also be charged if they use "words, behaviour or display" to cause another person harassment, alarm or distress under sections four and five of the Public Order Act 1986.

But both of these offences only apply if the couple intend to cause alarm, or are aware that a child is watching, says Mr Banks. "These legislations are very unlikely to be used in this context."

Punishment

Sentencing in the UK depends on the offence and its circumstances, and is a matter for the courts.

It is rare for an amorous couple to appear in court, says criminal lawyer Mark Haslam, of BCL Burton Copeland. If police do spot a couple engaging in al fresco love making, they are more likely to issue a caution or warning.

"But if it is reported by a passing - and outraged - member of the public, the couple are likely to be prosecuted and would probably be fined, with the case reported gleefully in the local press," says Mr Banks.

But holidaymakers should be aware that many countries are not as liberal as ours, he says.

"It would be regarded as a much more serious offence in the Middle East, most of Asia, Africa and most Catholic countries - and probably the USA too."

September 2, 2008
http://news.bbc.co.uk

Sex addiction: A disorder or pseudoscience?

It's not exactly a recipe for domestic bliss.

First, actor David Duchovny announced last week that he was entering a rehab centre for sex addiction. Now his wife, actor Téa Leoni, who hasn't had a hit film in years, has reportedly bailed on this week's Toronto International Film Festival, where she was to promote the movie Ghost Town, to avoid awkward questions about her husband's sex habits.

But Mr. Duchovny's news also highlights another rift, one that's simmering among therapists and psychiatrists over the subject of "sex addiction" - and whether it even exists.

On one side are experts who say people can be addicted to sex or pornography, just like alcohol or cocaine. To curb the compulsion, some therapists treat the condition with programs such as Sexaholics Anonymous.

"I think everyone has known someone with a sex addiction," says Doris Vincent, a psychologist with Edmonton's Recovery Path Counselling Services, which offers 12-step programs for sex addicts and their partners.

She defines sexual addiction as "sexual behaviour that you cannot control despite negative consequences," including addictions to pornography, masturbation or massage parlours.

But others say diagnosis of the condition is a pseudoscience.

"I don't believe in sex addiction," says David McKenzie, a Vancouver sex therapist who is among those who say the term "addiction" is misleading.

They are backed by the American Psychiatric Association, which publishes the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the clinical bible for psychiatrists and psychologists in Canada and the United States. Sexual addiction is not included in the manual's list of recognized conditions.

"It's not in there because so-called sex addiction doesn't follow the usual characteristics of what we think an addiction is," said Paul Fedoroff, a psychiatrist and head of the Sexual Behaviours Clinic at the Royal Ottawa Mental Health Centre.

Those characteristics include dependence on an external substance, an increasing tolerance for that substance, and withdrawal when it's removed, he said.

"If we start talking about sex addiction, we also have to talk about addiction to [other behaviours] like sleep, or eating, or breathing," Dr. Fedoroff said.

As well, it's difficult to define what is too much sex.

"When I hear that someone has a sex addiction I never know how strong their sex drive is. I also don't know how much sex they're having," he said. "I think it's more useful to talk about sexual preoccupation." Dr. Fedoroff says most patients are treated through individual counselling.

Still, no matter what you call it, experts agree that sex can play havoc with some people's lives if it becomes an obsession. People who say they are addicted to sex or pornography are more likely to be depressed or to have substance-abuse problems, Dr. Federoff says.

Ms. Vincent, who has counselled hundreds of people in the past 10 years for sex addiction, the vast majority of them men, says families also suffer.

"The wife is leaving and the children don't want to talk to them. ... I think that's the worst combination," she said.

People who enter Ms. Vincent's program have weekly counselling sessions and enter 12-step programs. Some people may require periods of abstinence from sex, or the removal of Internet access.

Ms. Vincent was certified by Patrick Carnes, a U.S. psychiatrist who pioneered the Certified Sex Addiction Therapist program and the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals, which defines sexual addiction as sexually related compulsive behaviour that interferes with normal living and causes severe stress on a person's family, friends, loved ones and work environment.

Only a small minority of people will have serious problems with sex, Dr. McKenzie said.

Mr. Duchovny - who has been married for 11 years to Ms. Leoni, with whom he has a nine-year-old daughter and a six-year-old son - should be treated with compassion, he said.

"It may well be that he has a sexual compulsivity that needs to be treated," he said. "It can destroy your life. ... But I want to distinguish those people, who are a very small minority, from the person who likes to masturbate every day, or from the person who likes to have sex with his wife twice a day. That's not a sexual addiction."

Extramarital snares

MICHAEL DOUGLAS

Labelled a sex addict by ex-wife Diandra Douglas in the early 1990s after a very messy public divorce, Mr. Douglas sought treatment in a Los Angeles clinic and now calls himself a "recovering sex addict." To keep himself in line, Mr. Douglas has reportedly agreed to pay a $5-million (U.S.) "straying fee" to current wife Catherine Zeta-Jones if caught in an extramarital snare.BILLY BOB THORNTON

When Mr. Thornton and Angelina Jolie split, British tabloid the Daily Star reported the actor cheated on his wife with his sex therapist. According to the newspaper, Ms. Jolie ordered Mr. Thornton to seek therapy after he reportedly slept with a raft of groupies and household staff.ERIC BENÉT

Halle Berry's estranged husband checked himself into an Arizona rehab centre to treat a sex addiction in 2002, two years before their tumultuous split. Mr. Benét later denied having a problem, saying he was a "person who ... through a series of emotional events, troubles, challenges, made some really, really stupid, painful mistakes."

September 3, 2008
http://www.theglobeandmail.com

The top 10 fantasies of women

A LOT of British women fantasise about acting out the seduction scene from the classic flick, ‘The graduate’, according to a new survey. The survey revealed that most women aged between 28 and 46 long to be sex instructors and love to impart lessons in love to a male virgin, just like the 1967 film, which featured Anne Bancroft and Dustin Hoffman. The women polled said that pulling on the stockings and suspenders and fitting in the role of Mrs Robinson would be as exciting and thrilling as the sex itself. However, the women made it clear that instead of trying out this fantasy of seducing a younger man, they preferred doing it with their regular partners.

The second dream that made the popular dream chart was to keep a man as a sex slave. Other fantasies in the top 10 included a lesbian romp, a threesome with two hunks and joining in an orgy, reported a leading website. The study revealed that the number one soft spot that most women would love to be kissed was the neck.

The next to follow was the ear followed by the inner thigh, according to the survey conducted by Skinbliss. A lot of women also complained that their partners tended to stare down their top while they should have been staring in their eyes.

The following are the top 10 sexual fantasies of women as revealed by the survey:

1. Mrs Robinson and the toy boy
2. Having a man as a sex slave
3. Being carried off by a hunky stranger
4. Pretending to be a high-class call girl
5. Lesbian romp
6. Threesome with two guys
7. Going to an orgy
8. Sex on a tropical beach
9. Joining the mile-high club
10. Sex in a public place

September 1, 2008
http://www.merinews.com

Sex ads on Denver Craigslist spike with Democrats' arrival

DENVER--An unusual phenomenon has recently appeared on Craigslist's Denver Web site. Sex-wanted ads spiked this week, which happens to coincide with the Democratic National Convention.

Ads seeking casual sexual encounters through the Denver Craigslist site increased an average of roughly 70 percent to 80 percent over the same days of the week earlier in August.

On average, 425 posts on Craiglist's "Casual Encounters" area appeared on the first three Sundays in August. But this Sunday, when tens of thousands of people had arrived for the convention, 763 posts appeared--an 80 percent increase.

The general content is what you might expect. Posts suggested "Here 4 DNC? Come get sexual with me"; "Does the DNC make you hot?"; and "Looking to service a young Democrat." (Most are far more explicit, but unsuitable for our upstanding, discriminating readers. Use your imagination.)

Other days showed the same week-over-week jump. Monday increased 77 percent over the average of earlier in the month; Tuesday increased 69 percent; Wednesday's increase was 74 percent.

This is where we insert the disclaimers. Mere correlation does not imply causation: other factors could explain this rise in advertisements.

Perhaps universities are back in session, or it's warmer or colder out. Perhaps loyalists of another political party are intentionally posting fake advertisements in hopes that the Democrats will be blamed. Perhaps the thousands of journalists in town are seeking extracurricular activities. Make up your own mind. And yes, we'll be paying attention to what happens during the Republican convention as well.

(Technical details: We saved headlines for the posts of each day in August into a text file, and ran the Unix "sort" and "uniq" utilities on each to eliminate duplicate headlines. Also, we noticed that the posts-per-day can vary over time, as posts are deleted once someone's needs are met, making this analysis something of a moving target. The outlier in the chart--a one-day lull--on August 10 seems to have been caused by a previously reported outage.)

August 28, 2008
http://news.cnet.com

Declaring love boosts sex appeal

Telling someone you fancy 'I really like you' could make him or her find you more attractive, research suggests.

Making eye contact and smiling have a similar effect, says Aberdeen University psychologist Dr Ben Jones.

His study, involving 230 men and women, found such social cues - which signal how much others fancy you - play a crucial role in attraction.

The work will appear in Psychological Science and will be presented at the BA Festival of Science in Liverpool.

Romantic success

Dr Jones said singletons could use his findings to help prevent wasting time chatting up people who were clearly not interested.

"Combining information about others' physical beauty with information about how attracted they appear to be to you allows you to allocate your social effort efficiently," he said.

In other words, avoid wasting time on attractive individuals who appear unlikely to reciprocate.

In the study, 230 men and women were asked to look at flash cards picturing a face with different expressions - making eye contact or not and smiling or not.

The volunteers were then asked to rate how attractive the faces were.

The preference for the attractive face was much stronger when people were judging those faces that were looking at them and smiling.

Dr Lynda Boothroyd, a psychologist at the University of Durham, said: "We like it when attractive people seem to be behaving positively towards us.

"And we seem to end up with people who are on our level in terms of attractiveness.

"Maybe one of the ways you learn your level of attractiveness is through how other people behave towards you."

September 8, 2008
http://news.bbc.co.uk

A How-To Guide for Men on Multiple Orgasms

Men, imagine being rocked by the same luxury that many women enjoy: Multiple orgasms.

These days, thanks to ancient Eastern exercises, more and more men are learning they can experience multiple Os with a partner after weeks of discipline and practice.

So consider this your crash course to exploring multi-orgasmic potential ...

— Build your physical stamina.

If you aren’t already, dedicate yourself to strengthening your pelvic floor muscles. Like women, men can exercise their PC (pubbococcygeus) muscle for better sex and endurance.

— Boost your mental strength.

Concentration is crucial. OK, maybe it sounds weird, but during stimulation, calm your mind by counting to 100. Make each breath worth one count, and don’t let your mind wander.

— Become intimately familiar with your orgasmic response.

Be aware of how your body reacts when it’s sexually aroused. Become familiar with your sexual response cycle, focusing on what goes on during the "plateau phase," which is the third stage of the human sexual response cycle. It follows the desire and excitement phases and precedes orgasm.

The plateau phase is also called the contractile phase or the emissions phase, because it is at this time that the prostate contracts and empties semen into the urethra. At this point, every male must make a major decision: Do I keep doing what I’m doing and go for immediate gratification and emit semen? Or do I slow down a bit, postpone the ultimate pleasure, and attempt ending with multiple orgasms?

If you choose the former, then you’ll enter the third phase of sexual response called the expulsion or orgasm phase, where semen travels through the urethra and out the opening of the penis. But if you hold off, you’ll remain in the contractile phase, relishing a series of prostate contractions. Lasting three to five seconds, these pelvic orgasms may range from mild to intense.

After orgasm, the body enters the resolution phase, during which the muscles relax, blood pressure drops and the body slows from its excited state.

— Perform a balancing act.

If you expect to experience multiple orgasms, you must not give in to certain temptations – those amazing fluttering sensations. If you stay strong and hold your course in hopes of multiple O’s, then you still want to stay as close as possible to this ejaculatory inevitability – that point right before semen is emitted.

Sounds like a lot of work, right? You're not done yet.

To do the above, you must:

— Squeeze your pelvic floor muscles, focusing on those around the prostate.

— Apply pressure to your "million dollar point" while contracting your PC muscle. This point is the area on your perineum (the area between the anal opening and where your scrotal sac attaches to your body). This will help to control the reflexes that can push you over the edge, as well as force more blood to the penis for even more of a throbbing effect.

— Make a mental effort to draw energy away from your genitals and up your spine.

These seven steps will help you in your efforts:

1. Learn how to breathe properly while exercising your pelvic floor muscles. Holding your breath isn’t going to cut it. Practice belly breathing, taking a few deep breaths to relax your entire body and your arousal response. This will ultimately expand orgasmic sensations.

2. Stay positive, challenging thoughts that may have you doubt your abilities.

3. Practice visual imagery. This should involve you being in charge and in control of your sexual response: Be calm, cool and collected while thrusting (including when you’re slowing down and gradually increasing your pace), and reaching the point of inevitability -- and not letting go! It should also involve you imagining your partner’s warmth, wetness, grip... and -- no matter how excited you are -- you’re in charge, relaxed, and at ease.

4. Learn to adapt your state of arousal. Make changes in your behavior, even if it means simply stopping to maintain control.

5. Know what to do during a stop. While it may work to relax and enjoy your lovely, tingly feelings of decreased arousal, you need to be able to think or talk about non-arousing things that will help you to postpone orgasm.

6. Stop before you reach the contractile phase if you tend to lack control in general.

7. Consider using a condom for lasting longer if you don’t already use one.

You might want to read up on this subject, so try Mantak Chia’s “The Multi-Orgasmic Male,” which I think is a super resource.

Furthermore, make sure you’re patient with yourself. You may not always be successful, and that’s OK. Practice makes perfect, remember? So adopt the attitude of "try, try again."

As stated, this is a quick low-down on how a man can begin this ultimate sex journey for himself. This effort, however, takes a lot of time, energy, discipline and practice. It requires solo and partner exercises, with many men not seeing results for four to six weeks. Some men learn to do it on their own, naturally reacting to their body’s rhythms— but even they did not learn this overnight.

Likewise, men who are willing to commit themselves to this exploration have very patient, giving, understanding partners – lovers who are willing to temporarily put their pleasuring on a backburner for a greater cause.

But the hard work and long wait will be worth it.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, "Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots."

September 9, 2008
http://www.foxnews.com

Behind Closed Doors: Vibrators take sex into hyperspace

I have a vibrator. Her name is Princess Leia (because she has a way with the Force), and she is purple. Many women would be embarrassed to share this kind of information with the world. I am somewhat uncomfortable with revealing her in print, but, nonetheless, there she is.

So why did I share? Because vibrators are controversial, and I want my readers to know that there is nothing to be afraid of.

Some people see vibrators as harbingers of sexual perversion, such as legislators in Texas who, until last February, had banned the sale and use of such toys. Other people may be threatened by them, as vibrators can be perceived as penis replacements. Some say that a straight woman has a vibrating phallus, her need for a man could disappear. Still, more people just think vibrators are strange. Some may have reasoned arguments on the purity of sexual interaction or may be weirded out by the idea of an electronic device finding its way to their nether regions.

That’s where I come in. Vibrators are fun and effective tools for reaching orgasms.

To those who think that they are perverse: Vibrators have existed in some form since the 1880s. They were invented by doctors as a way of curing “hysteria” in women; bringing women to orgasm in order to relieve emotional and psychological ailments dates back thousands of years.

The vibrator was invented to speed along the process so that the doctor could fit more patients into the day. Thus, the vibrator is not a product of the corrupted morals of the new generation. It is an updated form of a past medical technology.

If you believe that not only vibrators but all sex toys are corrupt, I can’t help you.

To those who fear replacement by vibrator: At first glance, this may seem to be a legitimate position. Vibrators have advantages that flesh-and-blood penises do not. Vibrators are always erect and they never prematurely ejaculate. They are always the right size and shape and are around whenever you need them. Most significantly, they vibrate, something that penises can’t do.

But to think that penises are in any way replaceable to those who love them is just faulty logic. Guys, have a little faith in the value of your penis. I would choose my boyfriend’s penis over Princess Leia any day of the week. There is nothing like a smooth shaft, the warm flesh and pulsing blood flowing through the tip or the overall aesthetic value of the penis. And that disregards the enjoyment of having another human being involved in your sexual experience.

To those who maintain that sexual interaction between two people is the only way to go: You are right, somewhat. There is something very special about simple sex. To know that all you need is yourself and your partner is an incredible feeling. However, bringing in a sex toy doesn’t necessarily mean that the connection between the participants is fundamentally altered. Using a vibrator during sex does not mean that you’re having kinky sex.

Vibrators simply aid in the sexual process. Most women need between three to 20 minutes of direct clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. However, with a vibrator, this time can be significantly shortened. This allows the person being stimulated to reach climax quicker (it can be very frustrating to be lying there for an hour before coming) and gives their partner an easier job, so the mind is less likely to wander, and the hands are less likely to tire.

Vibrators are also used to spice things up in the bedroom. They can be used in conjunction with a penis for dual penetration or on their own for prostate, G-spot or clitoral stimulation. They can do tricks that a penis cannot, so they introduce a whole new element to sex.

To those of you who feel uncomfortable with the idea of something buzzing around your genitals: I say, try it. You may be surprised at your reaction to the sensation. There is, however, some risk involved in vigorous stimulation. Overuse of vibrators can cause you to lose nerve endings in your special places, so everything in moderation.

So get out there and start experimenting. There’s no reason to be afraid of a big, bad vibrator. And the best news? Vibrators are for everyone, whether you’re gay, straight, bisexual or anything else.

September 10, 2008
Maya Horowitz
http://flathatnews.com

Electronics giant Philips to launch sex toy range

Royal Philips Electronics has introduced a new foreplay product for couples, the first in what the company says will be a lucrative line of sex toys.

The product, the "Intimate Massager", will first be sold in British stores including the pharmacy chain Boots, as well as through the Amazon.co.uk web site.

Philips is known better as the world's largest lighting manufacturer and a major player in flat screens, ultrasound machines, and electric shavers.

The company says it believes the European market for sex toys is €280 million ($390 million) per year and growing rapidly.

The "Intimate Massager" resembles a vibrator but is oblong and crafted to fit easily in the palm of a hand.

Philips said Thursday the product will be sold throughout Europe next year.

September 11, 2008
http://edition.cnn.com

Sue Johanson talks sex, toys and disease prevention

“I’m so aware that I could be your grandmother, so the fact that I can get out there and make a total ass of myself, that’s very satisfying for me,” Sue Johanson said Wednesday, before taking the stage to talk to a few thousand first year students about sex.

The famous face behind Sunday Night Sex Show, who turned 78 this July, entertained and educated the attentive crowd on Orientation Week’s main stage in Talbot Bowl, covering all the topics high school sex-ed teachers don’t go near.

“They know a lot about the plumbing [anatomy],” Johanson explained. “But how do they know when a female is horny? They don’t teach that.”

In her upfront and uncensored style, Johanson openly discussed topics like female erections, anal sex and how to get the best sex toy on a budget — not exactly the subject matter you’d expect to hear from a woman who was born during the Great Depression.

Johanson even went as far as showing how to put a condom on with her mouth, a stunt that received momentous applause from the crowd.

“I live in Toronto, and sometimes I go down to Yonge Street and talk to prostitutes. They taught me how to put a condom on,” she explained.

Behind all the dirty talk was a strong message. Learning and talking about sex, and most importantly safer sex, is something we all need to do.

“There’s so much you need to know about sex. Don’t let sex just happen,” Johanson told the crowd.

While Johanson stressed there is no such thing as “safe sex,” unless you’re pleasuring yourself, practicing safer sex is not an option. It’s a necessity.

“The number one issue is still HIV,” she said. 15 per cent of newly diagnosed cases of the virus occur in people aged 15 to 24. “[People still] think no friend of mine is going to have it.”

The number two issue Johanson says is facing students right now is chlamydia. “It’s almost epidemic,” she said about the most common bacterial Sexually Transmitted Infection in Canada, which produces no noticeable symptoms. “It’s a sneaky one ... and the problem is, it causes sterility.”

The third hot issue students need to know more about is the taboo topic of anal sex, which Johanson casually refers to as “bum sex” and “fudge-packing.” She noted 10 per cent of calls received at the Sunday Night Sex Show, which wrapped up its final season last May, were anal sex-related questions. “There’s not enough information, and anal sex is high risk behaviour,” she said.

Her message of talking and learning about sex was not lost on the first year audience. Except for a few O-Week cheers erupting in response to Johanson’s more outrageous antics, such as the condom episode, they let go of their rowdy O-Week ways and listened intently to Johanson’s words of wisdom.

“I thought it was really important. She really stressed safety,” first-year sociology student Rebecca Pointet said.

For over 35 years, Johanson has been educating others and increasing the awareness of the importance of sexual education. She put her first major mark in Canada’s sexual health movement in 1972 when she opened a birth control clinic in the health room of Toronto high school Don Mills Collegiate Institute, the first of its kind in Canada.

Her passion for teaching and her lively personality soon garnered the attention of school boards and universities across the country, and with the success of her multiple radio and television shows, Johanson has become one of Canada’s most well respected and well-known sex educators.

“I just love what I’m doing,” she says. “I’m not going to slow down. My biggest fear is having to retire.”

Stuff Sue said:
“We’re here because everyone at Western is horny, and horny is a beautiful thing”

“Having a big penis is not essential”

“Vibrators are great”

“Rrroll up the rim to win” (in reference to putting on a condom)

“What is the point of cumming in your girlfriend’s face?”

Fun Fact:
If Sue could sleep with any famous person, past or present, it would be Richard Gere.

Brief history of Sue Johanson:

1930:
Born in Toronto, Ontario

1972:
Opens birth control clinic at Don Mills Collegiate Institute

1984:
Debut of Sunday Night Sex Show on Q107

1988:
Publishes first book, Talk Sex

1992:
Publishes second book, Sex is Perfectly Natural but Not Naturally Perfect

1996:
Sunday Night Sex Show debuts nationally on television

2001:
The Governor-General of Canada awards Johanson the Order of Canada for a lifetime of service to the country

2002:
Oxygen Media purchases 26 pre-taped episodes of Sunday Night Sex Show to air in the U.S.

2004:
Publishes third book, Sex, Sex, And More Sex

September 5, 2008
Carly Conway
http://www.gazette.uwo.ca

Detailed Study on Spread of H.I.V. in U.S.

An unusually detailed study of people newly infected with H.I.V. in the United States has confirmed that the majority of new cases occur among gay and bisexual men and that blacks are most at risk. But the data show that whites and blacks tend to be infected at different times in their lives with the virus that causes AIDS.

Most new infections of white gay and bisexual men occur when the men are in their 30s and 40s, the study found, while black gay and bisexual men are more likely to be infected in their teens and 20s. The results were reported on Thursday by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

The C.D.C. reported last month that the study found that the virus was spreading faster in the United States than had been thought. In 2006, the study found, 56,300 people were newly infected with H.I.V. — 40 percent more than the agency’s previous estimate of roughly 40,000 new cases a year. The study was performed using new technology that allowed researchers to distinguish between new and older infections.

Dr. Kevin Fenton of the C.D.C. said the study’s findings served “as a powerful reminder that the U.S. epidemic of H.I.V. disease is far from over.”

The details of the agency’s demographic analysis were released on Thursday in the hope that knowledge of the age, race and other characteristics of the newly infected would better direct prevention efforts.

“The data really confirm what we had suspected and known before,” said Dr. Fenton, who emphasized the disease’s “disproportionate impact on gay and bisexual men and on blacks and Latinos.”

Black people, who make up about 12 percent of the population, accounted for more than 45 percent of the new infections, the study found, and the disparity was particularly acute among women.

Black women are nearly 15 times as likely to be infected with H.I.V. as white women. Hispanic women are four times as likely to be infected as white women. Black men have six times the H.I.V. incidence rate of white men and nearly three times that of Hispanic men.

Among those newly infected with the virus, black men were no more likely to be drug users or to engage in risky sex than were white men, according to the study. More research is needed to explain why young black men are at such greater risk for contracting the disease, but there are several hints from other studies, researchers said.

The fact that proportionally more blacks than whites are already infected would tend to produce higher transmission rates among blacks, said Dr. Richard Wolitski, acting director of the center’s division for H.I.V. and AIDS prevention. Young black men are much more likely to have been incarcerated. Infection rates among former convicts are high, largely because of behaviors outside of prison, studies show.

Dr. Wolitski said young black gay and bisexual men also tended to have partners who were older than their white counterparts and thus were more likely to have already been infected.

Girls and women make up 27 percent of those newly infected with the virus, and 80 percent of them contracted H.I.V. because of high-risk heterosexual contact. Among newly infected males, 81 percent of white men and 63 percent of black men were gay or bisexual.

In one of the most dismal statistics provided by the centers, researchers said that 80 percent of gay and bisexual men in 15 cities had not been reached by intensive H.I.V. prevention efforts that have proven effective. Agency officials said that more must be done, including expanded H.I.V. screening programs and better directing of prevention efforts at those most at risk.

September 11, 2008
Gardiner Harris
http://www.nytimes.com

Running on empty? Ladies, it's time to take control of your own pleasure

Faced with a shrinking libido, ladies?

It may be poor body image, waning desire for a partner, fatigue or keeping a schedule so dizzyingly frantic it makes a spinning class look like a heavenly day at the spa. Whatever the reason, it's time to give that snail-paced sex drive some tender loving attention.

If your erotic self is M.I.A., you're not alone.

A Chatelaine magazine survey released earlier this year polled nearly 4,000 Canadian women found that 22% had never masturbated and 62% said they don't have a vibrator in their goody drawer.

Meanwhile, the findings suggest that how we view our physical selves impacts sexual desire (the majority of women rated their bodies a six out of 10). In other words, the more body confident types reported higher levels of in-the-buff enjoyment. So what's a gal to do? Take charge, of course -- and that means getting that libido back in shape for fall.

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Eroticism rousers

Crave that tingly feeling down under? Not only is this easy to achieve, it doesn't have to break the bank either. Bring on the arousal cream.

This magical goody heightens arousal in erogenous zones quickly and can be used to boost pleasure on your own or with a partner.

Water as well as silicone-based lubes are both safe and gentle choices. For extra titillating pleasure, try a warming lubricant, which, as the description suggest, heats things up rather nicely.

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Get your motor running

We all know the saying practice makes perfect, right? Well bring on the practice!

For the solo-flying dames out there, single status shouldn't have to mean forgoing regular orgasms.

Need a helping hand? One of the most discreet offerings around is the super compact Magic Bullet -- and it isn't called magic for nothing.

Patti Brisben, in her book Pure Romance Between the Sheets, says "It's truly up to you to know what turns you on. You need to start by discovering your own path to sensation."

Cheers to that!

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You time

There are certainly women who have been taught that sexual self-satisfaction is dirty but, thankfully, the times are changing.

This may explain the growing number of erotic books and films made with the female audience in mind.

In other words, hardcore porn may not get you hot, but reading deliciously erotic tales or watching them unfold before your eyes could unleash those long-forgotten fantasies (or help you discover new ones along the way).

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Skip the burger and fries

Poor lifestyle habits such as a high-carb, starchy diet along with smoking, lack of exercise and improper sleep can send a libido on a big downward spiral.

According to Marrena Lindberg, author of The Orgasmic Diet, a wholesome body boost will also trickle down to your nether regions.

Lindberg suggests cutting back on fatty foods, reducing unrefined sugar and carbohydrates, all the while increasing fibre, taking fish oil supplements and eating about a half an ounce of dark chocolate daily to get things started.

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Confidence boosters

Whether it's booking a massage or hanging out with your girlfriends, we generally feel better when we're active, balanced and taking care of ourselves. Same rings true for exercise. Sorry folks, the classic "no time, no energy" excuse just doesn't fly, because even the simplest of activities, such as going for a walk, actually increase energy levels.

Now get this: Squeezing in regular workouts not only helps us feel sexier and better about our bodies, but also serves a natural way to sex-ercise our libidos by helping reduce stress and increase relaxation.

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Did you know?

- The clitoris has more than 8,000 nerve endings.

- The majority of women reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation.

- Kegel exercises reportedly enhance sexual enjoyment among some women.

- The muscles that control a woman's orgasm also control urine flow.

- Medications such as birth control pills, blood pressure reducers and antidepressants can hamper your sex drive.

September 11, 2008
Tanya Enberg
http://www.edmontonsun.com

The Great Seducers

Ah seduction, that noble art. Its roots can be found in the most ancient myths; the alleged nobility is more recent, perhaps originating from mediaeval courtly love, when the beguiling of an innocent virgin (or, if you were really good, a rival's wife) could be accomplished with flattery, favours and a joust or two. But baser motives have never been far below the surface, and, ultimately, the methods that work are the basic ones: get them to notice you in the crowd, make them feel special, win their trust, make their pupils dilate, get them into bed.

Yet seduction is, in its highest form, far more than a one-note, wham-bang-thank-you-ma'am skill: it's a ritual with a complex set of rules. It can't be too aggressive, or the element of beguiling is lost in the relentless advances; but it neither should it be too refined, too unobtrusive because then the interplay between the two protagonists is lost.

So what's the secret? These 10 great seducers may offer some clues. Selected from various eras, from ancient history to the present day, they have a lot in common: success, in spades but also a vast array of techniques, some conscious, some primal, to conquer fair maid (or young man). From wild romantic to mordant wit to eager charmer, these artful inveiglers are the best in the business.

Of course, the real art in seduction is not to take advantage of the seduced but to be more of a to use the mealy-mouthed modern word facilitator, helping the seduced to open up to a whole new world of freedom and satisfaction through sex.

It's a nice trick if you can get away with it.

Casanova

Giacomo Casanova was the seducer by whom all others are measured, the man who gave his name to the charming yet roguish breed. The Venetian adventurer, wit, charlatan, spy and writer had a law degree by the age of 17 always handy for extricating yourself from intrigue a short and of course scandalous career in the church; and was run out of most of Europe's grand cities after drawing the attention of the local constabularies because of his sexual escapades. His technique? Discover a lady in trouble; be attentive; extricate her from her difficulty; bestow small gifts; use alluring words; make hay; get bored; exit stage left.

Catherine the Great

All enlightened despots need a way to relieve the stress, and the Russian empress's outlet was to take lovers. She often gave them important positions in government and was good enough to pension them off after she'd had enough of them (which certainly beats being exiled/executed). Her technique? Employing a former lover to do the work for you: after her affair with Potemkin, he would select a candidate-lover for her who had both the looks and the intelligence to hold Catherine's interest. Bar-room historians still claim (wrongly) that even men, ultimately, failed to fulfill her needs, leading to an unfortunate accident involving a horse.

Cleopatra

The woman with perhaps the most famous nose in history ("Had it been shorter," wrote Pascal, "the whole face of the world would have been changed"), Cleopatra was the last Pharaoh of Egypt and a great beauty who consolidated her power through affairs with both Julius Caesar and Mark Antony. When she and Antony's navy were defeated at the Battle of Actium, she killed herself with the bite of an asp. Her technique? Playful, witty and coquettish, requiring access to large quantities of milk for bathing/flirting with Roman generals, and priceless pearl earrings to dissolve in vinegar to astonish onlookers.

Lord Byron

The acme of a Romantic, not just a brooding poet but a revolutionary soldier. And oh! did the ladies fall for that heady mix of searing intellect and man of action. As did the men, although that side of his sexuality was long ago airbrushed from history. Lady Caroline Lamb, one of his lovers, described him as "mad, bad, and dangerous to know". His most famous poem, "Don Juan", takes the fictional arch seducer and makes the hero susceptible to the seductive powers of women so it was all their idea, after all (always a good line). Byron's technique? Passion, passion, and more passion. And dead by 36.

Errol Flynn

The actor whose buckle swashed on screen like no other of his time also had a notoriously rumbustious life off-stage, with vast amounts of drinking, plenty of brawling, and oodles of womanising. His famously debauched lifestyle caught up with him in 1942 when two underage chorus girls, Betty Hansen and Peggy Satterlee, accused him of statutory rape (they were under 21 at the time). However, he was found not guilty at trial, and his reputation did not suffer any lasting harm. And his seduction method? If the expression "in like Flynn" really does refer to him, then it probably was none too subtle.

Wilt Chamberlain

If sheer quantity is the mark of a successful seducer, there can be no finer exponent than the 7ft 1in basketball player Wilt Chamberlain, who claimed to have slept with 20,000 women. If true, this suggests that he had sex with more than eight different women per week from the age of 16 (who are we kidding?) to the day he died. His technique? Confident but respectful. And being the highest paid basketball star of the time probably didn't hurt his chances either. "I think Wilt hit on everything that moved... [but] he never was bad or rude," said the Swedish high jumper Annette Tannander.

Russell Brand

The rakish, bohemian stand-up comic, TV presenter and "World's Sexiest Vegetarian" is a self-confessed erotomaniac. He even underwent treatment for his affliction in a Philadelphia clinic. As he writes in his autobiography, My Booky Wook: "At one point, I had a harem of about 10 women, whom I would rotate in addition to one-night stands and casual random encounters." And his technique? Verbal dexterity, hyperactive charm and, presumably, that ridiculously over-coiffured barnet: "In Bangkok ... bar girls in Patpong left their posts to follow me down the street, cooing and touching my hair."

Alan Clark

The diarist, MP and deadpan patrician snob (who dismissed Michael Heseltine as "a man who bought his own furniture") was also an incorrigible lech. He was also very sure of his type: "Girls have to be succulent," he pronounced; "and that means under 25." His most infamous escapade was an affair with what he described as his "coven" a judge's wife and two daughters. His technique? Boundless boyish enthusiasm "A plump young woman came into my compartment at Waterloo," he wrote in his diary. "She was not wearing a bra, and her delightful globes bounced prominently... I gave her a huge grin; I couldn't help it."

Jack Nicholson

Like his fellow Hollywood lotharios Warren Beatty and Frank Sinatra, the US acting legend and force of nature isn't a one-woman man. No, sir. "Physical and sexual vitality is one of the reasons that I'm lively," the 71-year-old, who has no fewer than six children by five women, recently claimed. Kim Basinger called him "the most highly sexed individual I have ever met". His technique? The bad-boy glint in his eye, that grin, the charm, the monomaniacal intensity the late Playboy model Karen Mayo-Chandler revealed that he ate peanut butter and jam sandwiches in bed "to keep his strength up".

John Wilkes

John Wilkes is an unlikely candidate. He was a radical MP, journalist and later Lord Mayor of London who wrote pornographic poetry. And he was described as the ugliest man in England. But his charm was extraordinary: "With the start of a quarter of an hour," he said, "I can get the better of any man, however good-looking, in the graces of any lady." (He later amended this to half an hour modestly.) In an exchange with the Earl of Sandwich, who declared "Sir, I do not know whether you will die on the gallows or of the pox," Wilkes replied: "That, sir, depends on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress." His technique? Unfettered charm.

September 14, 2008
Mark Wilson
http://www.independent.co.uk

George Clooney Helps Boast Sex Toy Sales

90% of American women will buy just about anything George Clooney endorses, and sex toys are no different.

Clooney, who plays a sex addict in his new flick 'Burn After Reading,' carries around two items "The Liberator Ramp" and "The Silky" in the flick. Both are currently being sold in sex shops around the world.

Thanks to Clooney's plug, sales of both are on the rise. One retailer told the NY Post, "Small mentions of adult products in mainstream media can have an outsized effect on sales."

This is almost as huge as "the rabbit" on Sex and the City. Almost. Let's face it, no one sold sex better than Samantha.

September 21, 2008
http://www.hollyscoop.com

The Vibrator - What's All the Buzz About?

It used to be that diamonds were a girl’s best friend. But these days, it’s something much more stimulating. And it vibrates. Better yet, it’s battery-powered to last for hours. Plus, it never needs Viagra.

So given the fuss it has created among women in recent years, many men have found themselves wondering if they will eventually become replaced. Are they just suffering from bruised egos in the bedroom ... or could they actually be sexually substituted someday?

In sizing up today’s vibrator craze, many point to the "Sex and the City" episode that made "The Rabbit" vibrator famous. And while that show definitely piqued more than the public's interest, you can actually blame the medical community for getting us turned on to the original electronic gadgets more than 100 years ago. At the turn of the century, vibrators became all the rage for treating female "hysteria."

From the time of Hippocrates all the way to Freud, doctors stimulated orgasms in women and girls to relieve them of what was thought to be their "starved" or "misplaced" womb. Historically, people thought that hysteria ("hyster" is Greek, meaning "womb") was a condition where the uterus was revolting against sexual deprivation. Marriage or a medical massage was considered the best remedy.

Using a clinical procedure known as the "medical massage." physicians would induce "hysterical paroxysm" in their patients. This "fit" or sudden attack, also known as an orgasm, involved an increased breathing and pulse rate, a reddening of the skin, vaginal lubrication and abdominal contractions. Is it any wonder that many women of the puritanical Victorian era flocked to their doctors, claiming to be afflicted with hysteria?

Doctors’ hands were finally relieved of masturbating their patients to orgasm in the 1880s when electromechanical vibrators hit the scene. These "medical appliances." as they were known, were designed to improve the efficiency of medical massage and treat hysteria. Yet they weren’t around for long. Medical massagers disappeared from doctors’ offices in the 1930s, replaced by psychotherapy.

It is no wonder, then, that women have been working themselves into a frenzy over the vibrator’s comeback in recent years. In the meantime, some men have worried that they’ve finally met their match. And in some ways, they may be right when it comes to their lover’s orgasm.

Vibrators can help a woman not only to become orgasmic, but multi-orgasmic. They deliver orgasms consistently and easily. They enhance her sexual responsiveness and pleasure. Vibrator users also report higher levels of sexual desire, arousal, and interest.

In a 2004 Berman Center study titled "Health Benefits of Sexual Aids and Devices," nearly half of women ages 18 to 55 had used a vibrator. These women were found to be more interested in sex, reached orgasm more easily and were likelier to have a better quality of life.

On first take, such benefits and research findings can definitely feel threatening to a gal’s lover. How is he supposed to compete with that?

But men should stop looking at vibrators as the enemy; they should start seeing them as their friends. They make their job much easier. When used in a supporting role, a vibrator can help a man bring his lover to orgasm.

The Berman Center study further found that 30 percent of couples use vibrators. This is no surprise given that users of sex aids, in general, have sex more frequently and experience more satisfying sex with their partners. Vibrator use can lend itself to better sexual functioning, as well as:

— enhance your emotional and sexual intimacy;

— heighten your pleasuring;

— boost your eroticism quotient;

— promote mutual sexual and emotional satisfaction.

So in making friends, ask for a show and tell. Ask her to use it on you. Take a chance, and use it during sex, using it on her clitoris during intercourse to increase her chances of reaching the "Big O."

Finally, take comfort in knowing that the vibrator will never replace you. Unless you’re a lousy lover or your relationship is already in shambles, a woman will never opt for a mechanical device over you. She’ll always prefer the emotional support and sexual intimacy that only her lover can give her. After all, the best sex is that which provides overall pleasure.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, "Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots."

September 23, 2008
http://www.myfoxwausau.com

Sex doctor: Don't dream it, be it...

There's a certain type of man who will react to any suggestion of spicing up your sex life with disapproval. Women delicate little petals that we are aren't supposed to want naughty things and this man's judgment of you will be harsh: you're a tart or a slut and definitely not good enough to be sitting at his parents' table for Sunday lunch. Happily, despite all the potential pitfalls, there are ways to have your orgasms and keep him too. These are the basics which you should apply to any situation where you're suggesting something new sexually:

*Make it his idea. Men are far more open to doing something if they think the idea came from them.

*Make it clear you've only ever wanted to do it with him. His first thought will be: has she already done this with someone else?

*Make it clear you're suggesting it because you trust him: You know you won't be judged and he's made you feel so good about yourself; you feel that you can truly open up and tell him anything.

*Tell him you're suggesting it because you want to have the best sex life possible. You know all the statistics about couples cheating on each other and don't want that to happen to you two.

*Be aware that most men feel threatened by the new breed of sexually confident women: No matter how liberated he is, you have to remember the poor little sausage is just getting over the horrific news that his penis alone often can't give you an orgasm. It's crucial for you to present your proposition tenderly and tactfully.

Here are some specific tips on how to help achieve your dream fantasy.

Sex with another woman

Most men love it if you admit to lesbian fantasies, so why not take it through to reality? If your partner's not the jealous type and it's a relatively new relationship that you don't mind risking, go ahead and suggest it. Broach the idea by telling him you had an incredibly erotic dream last night about you and another woman in whichever scenario you crave. See what reaction you get. It's pretty easy to move from here into a serious discussion.

A threesome

Just because he's always joking about it doesn't mean he really wants to try it. Faced with it happening in reality, all sorts of fears creep in.

Suggest it by: pretending you saw a magazine story about threesomes and then ask, "What do you think of them?" If he doesn't react with horror, confess you'd like to try it, then talk about the reasons why it appeals, loading on the sexual compliments. If you decide to go ahead, always practise safe sex and make rules on what is and isn't allowed. Don't take being left out personally and always pay your partner more attention than the third person.

Role-play

Acting out a role-play is relatively tame compared to swinging but it's still a dreaded scenario for many guys. The risk of humiliation is high because you both have to "act" and even if he's not shy, fears that he'll burst out laughing may plague him.

Suggest it by making a joke of it eg, "How about doctors and nurses?" Once you've let him know it doesn't have to be deadly serious, the chances are he'll come round to the idea.

Spanking

Some men think it's degrading to spank their partner and it is if you don't ask for it but wanting them to spank you is quite another thing.

Suggest it by visiting a good sex shop or going online and buying a rubber whip but only if you're pretty confident he'll get a buzz from it.

Having phone sex/talking dirty

"The first time I talked dirty, the guy I was with lost his erection and told me I was a slut. Needless to say, I'm a little nervous suggesting it again even though I love it when guys do it to me." I get letters like this from women all the time and there's a common theme throughout: confusion. Like, he watches porn all the time and swears with his friends, why wouldn't he like talking dirty? What's going on?

The sort of men who react badly are usually traditional men, brought up in a household where sex was dirty and good girls definitely didn't. But even "normal" men sometimes find it difficult to hear very rude things coming out of their girlfriend's mouth.

Suggest it by: upping your moans and groans, then slipping in the odd swearword. If he seems to like it, start describing what's happening: "I'm watching you disappear inside me and that is so sexy." If you want him to talk dirty to you, follow this by whispering, "Tell me what you'd really like to do to me," in his ear.

Adapted from 'The Sex Doctor', by Tracey Cox

September 17, 2008
http://www.independent.co.uk

Guys and dolls: A revealing look at men's sex toys

It's a long time since any stigma was attached to the use of sex toys by women. For most men, the issue remains a little more embarrassing. But not for all. Tanya Gold tracks down some serious enthusiasts.

I am standing in the Harmony sex shop in central London, staring up a plastic vagina. I don't often do this. But a few weeks ago I read a news story about some men in Sweden who have reported a pharmacy to the Swedish equal opportunities ombudsman for sexual discrimination. Why? Because it stocks sex toys for women, but not for men. Now people don't usually talk about this; they rabbit on about the rabbit, but the plastic vagina has yet to have its Sex and the City moment. So what is out there? Or rather, what is in there?

Simon Pope is the buyer for Harmony. He is small and he looks tired, but he takes me through the racks of men's toys with the intensity of a man discussing drill bits. "The big thing at the moment are the anal toys," he says, waving at a wall of Rocks Off Naughty Boy prostate massagers. "Men seem to have discovered their bums at last. Straight men didn't used to want to buy anything anal," he beams at me. "That's all changed."

Together we peruse inflatable dolls there is an obese one called Fatima the Fully Functioning Sex Doll, who I feel a weird compassion for and some vaginas. I stick my finger inside one. It has the texture of rotting jelly. It feels dead. "Men mostly buy these to use alone," Simon says. He points out the Juicy Lucy portable can, which looks like a beer can but has both a vagina and an anus inside, and the Fleshlight, a torch containing a vagina. Both look like they were made by the ever-smiling Q for James Bond: "Now, Bond, if you press this a vagina will shoot out!"

"Toys are a lot more acceptable now than they used to be," Simon muses. "There is more crossover between the mainstream and us. But sex toys for women are still more talked about. They are more out there." Why is this? Why do women wave their rabbits at the world while men hide their rubber vaginas? (As it happens, I don't have a rabbit. I don't like anything up there with a face.)

Simon pauses. He chooses his words carefully, saying: "Male sex toys don't look quite as er cuddly as female sex toys. A vibrator looks more attractive than a fake vagina." I pout at him. You cannot say the vagina is ugly. You cannot say it looks like a face a car door slammed into. Not in The Independent. Not in 2008. "A vibrator doesn't have to look like a penis," he says. "A vagina always looks like a vagina." We pause together in front of Australia's Finest Vibrating Pussy and Ass. "You'll never see that in Boots," he says. It's hard to disagree.

A man is loitering by the Juicy Lucy portable can. He says he's going to buy it. Why? He's handsome. I'd shag him, if he had a house. "It's an easy way of masturbating," he says. "You can't go to a girlfriend all the time. It's a requirement nowadays. Any time you want it, it's available." I also find a man buying the Fleshlight. He too looks perfectly normal; if you looked in his wallet, you'd probably find a Pizza Express loyalty card. "I'll take it, but I'm not going to tell my girlfriend," he says. Why not? He looks aghast. "Would you tell anyone you were going to stick your dick up this?" he asks. "It looks like a badly packed ham sandwich."

A-ha! So the men in Sweden have it wrong. It's not hatred of men that is keeping Australia's Finest Vibrating Pussy and Ass off the shelves at Boots. It's hatred of women. Our bits look like food. Men don't want to be seen alone with them.

On the way out I talk to Tony, the store manager. He has the face of a central casting gangster and he has sold sex toys for 13 years. He says he flogs up to 30 plastic vaginas a day. Who buys them? "Men," he says. "Lonely men." (So the plastic vagina men are lying about having real girlfriends?) "The bum toys go to couples, but a lot of women still don't like the idea of their men screwing a plastic vagina," he says. "It's still not acceptable." He peers at me, and takes me over to view the strap-on dildos, which are for women who want to sodomise their boyfriends. So, are men becoming more open to the idea of being sodomised by their girlfriends? (This pleases me.) "Yes," he says. Tony is a man of few words.

But these are not the most sophisticated sex toys available for men. Davecat (not his real name) is a 35-year-old American man from Detroit. He owns a $7,000 silicone RealDoll called Sidore, manufactured by Abyss Creations in California. According to her drooling website, Sidore is "a Cancer, partial to Joy Division, videogames and foot rubs". She is also absurdly beautiful. A perfect 10. She has breasts, a vagina, an anus, and three removable tongues. Davecat is part of the community of "i-dollators". They worship dolls.

"Sidore means a great amount to me," Davecat says, when I ring him to discuss Sidore. "She is my ideal partner. She fulfils a lot of sexual needs but more importantly she fulfils a lot of emotional needs." Such as? He pauses. "She doesn't make demands I can't meet. She is always there for me. Human beings can't give guarantees. There are no variables [with the doll], no bizarreness that may or may not occur. There is always a constant. I like things constant and you can't get more constant than a doll." Any future girlfriend, he adds, would have to accept Sidore. "There is no way I could get rid of her."

Do you mind that she can't talk? "I'd prefer it if she did, but doll technology can only go so far," he replies. "My ideal partner would be a gynoid [a female android]. There are only a few in the world and they are not available for consumer markets yet. Dolls are wonderful, but they can't move, and they can't speak". I'm not sure what to say to Davecat. So I ask him you would really rather have a relationship with a robot than a really beautiful er actress? "Yes," he says. "That is the end all, be all of it."

He doesn't like to use the term sex toy for Sidore."It's demeaning and it's limiting," he says. "Sidore provides more than sexual fulfilment. When people think sex doll, they think blow-up toys or something really crude" I briefly think of poor, obese Fatima "not something you can actually have a relationship with. I don't consider myself a doll fetishist. I consider myself a doll husband."

Mr G, 41, lives in Virginia. He owns two pouting RealDolls GingerBrooke and KellySue. "Ginger Brook is pure and innocent," he says. He speaks incredibly seriously, in a southern drawl. "She wouldn't hurt a fly. Kelly is more aggressive."

So I ask him why do you sleep with RealDolls (three times a week), and never real women? "Dating has always been more trouble than it was worth," he says. "I don't want to get involved with anybody." He doesn't want to catch a disease, he adds. He doesn't want children. And he relates a few disastrous experiences with women. Doesn't he mind that the RealDolls are so passive? "No. I like being in control." Do you ever wish they could speak? "No". Do you ever get lonely? "No". Will you ever give them up? "No".

When he first got GingerBrooke, he explains: "I thought this would be great for sex and somebody to hang out with. But I had more fun with Ginger in the first month than I ever had with human women. I had no idea how far it would go. They are more human than anyone I have ever met. They don't break the law, they don't lie to me, and they aren't going to steal. There is no evil in them." But there is no good in them either, I point out. "They are good to me," he replies. "They look the same today as they did when I got them. They aren't going to age. I want to be buried with them."

I also speak to a British i-dollator, who asks to be called Zazakell. He is 62, and he bought three dolls Tess, (for Tess of the D'Urbervilles), Romy and Leeloo after his divorce. He talks to me like a stern schoolteacher, telling me how benign the RealDolls are. "They are very clean, they are very safe, and they are low maintenance," he says. "They aren't going to cause anyone any harm." They are helpful, he adds, "for shy men, virgins, the handicapped, and men who are unsuccessful at dating. Or they can be a learning tool. It takes a lot of the stress out of trying to get into a relationship. Women use them, couples use them to simulate a threesome, and gay men have male dolls." (I checked out a male RealDoll. He's called Charlie, and I would go there.)

Zazakell first saw a RealDoll on the So Graham Norton show. "She was a beautiful doll and that is how I discovered them," he says. He mostly uses them as cuddle companions. "It's nice to have something to cuddle. Do you remember when you had a cuddly toy when you were younger? It's the same feeling. You need to have some sort of contact, and touch at any age. But nothing can replace a real woman."

It is time to ask him: is i-dollatry about fear, hatred, or mistrust of women? "Far from it, no," Zazakell says, emphatically. "Most of us adore women. We use electric blankets with our dolls so they aren't cold. It has its own character; its own personality, even though it is an inanimate object. If you are romantic you will probably give your doll a name and you will dress her nicely and you might talk to her occasionally. There is a big difference between a sex toy like a vibrator and a doll. Dolls are so much more than that. I can't see someone paying 5,000 for a sex toy. Can you?"

I tell Zazakell a story from a doll repairer, who was sent a doll who had been mutilated; her leg was ripped off, her chest cavity spewed open. "There is only one time that I saw a photograph of a doll that had been run over by a delivery truck and crushed," says Zazakell. "There was almost an outcry that the person published the photos on the internet. It got taken down. Because we [i-dollators] felt so badly that a doll had been run over.

"We don't want anybody like that [in our community]. It's like saying that everybody that kills is a serial killer and people kill for all sorts of reasons don't they?"

He sends me a strict note later, telling me not to sensationalise the doll people. "We are a cross-section, just like society," he says. And so I leave the Valley of the Dolls.

September 25, 2008
http://www.independent.co.uk

Risque business: sex toy parties take off

Forget Tupperware. The latest party plans are creating a buzz all of their own.

The front door opens and two poppets in pyjamas scramble over each other to say hello before their father shoos them off to bed. It's a school night. And, besides, they're not even allowed in the lounge room. That's where Mummy's having her party. She's showing her friends her frilly knickers and fluffy slippers. Mummy has candles and creams that smell like vanilla ice-cream and musk sticks. She has books with pictures to teach dads how to help their wives destress.

And toys. Bright, buzzing toys for toe-curling clitoral rub-downs and deep, vibrant sensations with G-spot precision that deliver 90 minutes of bliss before the battery conks out. And then the ladies will have supper.

Hostess Rebecca Bullock thought twice about taking on her saucy new role but she has the poise of a woman who has attended to every detail. Her house in Denistone is spotless. Sofas are plumped, refreshments arranged on the buffet. And her little vibrating rubber ducks, with their discreet on-switch, are all in a row on tables swathed in pink satin. It's the efficiency developed over years as a party-plan doyenne.

Tonight will be a challenge. Tonight she faces the girls from her old team - Tupperware.

A former executive manager with Tupperware, Bullock now travels the country training the 600 consultants who have signed on to Pash, a party plan newcomer with erotic bits and bobs for women who can't bear the thought of walking into a porn shop. The concept is unadulterated, X-rated girls' world: sexy babydoll nighties in sizes up to 24, raunchy books by Cosmo writers, bubble bath, chocolates, body paint and "love toys".

"We never talk about vibrators," says Pash's founder, Jo Karabin. "Everything is sent out in ribbon drawstring bags, organza and tissue paper. Everything is very pink, very feminine and non-threatening, not tacky and sleazy."

Since Sex And The City's good girl Charlotte went missing with her "rabbit" (more on that later), women have taken responsibility for their satisfaction into their own hands. It's led to the advent of myriad companies of the home-shopping ilk, from Horny Little Devils and Hush-Hush to Quiver, which promotes fund-raisers for bushfire brigades and hospitals. Fiona Patten, the chief executive of the Eros Association, says there's even more. "I don't think I know a large adult business that doesn't have a party-plan wing. And they are pretty much 100 per cent women," she says.

This is hardly a hen's night. Those of us on the sofas at Bullock's home are in our 30s and 40s, married with children, neat of jeans and hair and can make one glass of wine last all night.

"The reason we're gathered here this evening," our hostess begins, "is because we like to feel good about ourselves ... Let's face it, after 15 years of marriage, the spark can wear off ..."

We are here tonight to discover ways to "enhance" our own "sensuality". To "create the mood" and "have fun". To feel like a goddess and "walk with your shoulders back and lead with your hips". The only words that are never mentioned are "sex" or "masturbation".

The Pash script involves countless shopping opportunities. We admire gossamer butterfly G-strings and sweetly perfumed lotions, gaze confoundedly at the routines in Superhot Sex and other manuals until at last it's time to unveil the hardware. "Shall we do it, girls?" Bullock asks. We'd be crushed if we didn't.

Oh, hello, little vibrating egg. Lilac and velvety, the Eggtastic is passed around the audience as our hostess discusses the virtues of a wireless remote control. You could pop one in and clean the house. But why not surprise your husband? "Go to a restaurant together and, after a few glasses of wine, just quietly slide the remote across the table," she says. "He'll love it. He can even clip it onto his belt."

Then a voice from the crowd: "Will it open the garage?" "No," Bullock quips. "But if you go to a party and other women are wearing one, you might all go off."

The ice has definitely broken, which is just as well. From here on, everything vibrates. After a brief stopover with Nea, an ergonomic, Swedish-designed black pebble for clitoral stimulation, Bullock unleashes the i-Vibe. He (definitely a he) has a band of tiny white balls at the hips that swish about like a washing machine. We weigh him in our palms, pressing and squeezing as though he were an avocado at the fruitshop. The consensus is the apparatus is very realistic - if he wasn't quite so purple.

The i-Vibe is a Rabbit, the genus of vibrator that's world No.1. They can be waterproof, illuminated and musical but the one thing in common is the appendage with fluttering ears at the base beside its control panels. One understands its success when Bullock explains that 70 per cent of women can't climax with vaginal stimulation alone.

That doesn't count for the weird toy-like shape of its head. Again, there's a simple explanation. The i-Vibe is made in Japan, where designers get around the country's strict regulations by producing "dancing dolls". Its stablemate My Hero looks like a pink lightsaber with a hula-hoop function that allows it to rotate 360 degrees. "For the retroverted uterus?" suggests a neighbour.

For G-spot adventurers, Bullock pulls out the Rock Chick, a U-tube that might double as a suitcase handle. It is hypo-allergenic and dishwasher-safe, thank goodness.

Australia is awash with vibrators. More than one million were sold last year, according to the Eros Association. That figure has been steadily climbing since 2003's total of 600,000. The electronics company Philips unveiled its first vibrator this month in Europe, where the sex toy economy is valued at EUR280 million ($490 million) a year.

"In 1992, less than 10 per cent of [adult-product] customers were female; in 2007, they represented between 35 and 40 per cent," Patten says. The market has cleaned itself up. Manufacturers and designers have invested heavily in R&D to create gelato-coloured, purse-sized, silent, purring "lifestyle products".

Instead of pornography with wet naked girls, glossy brochures read like a torrid Mazda manual. Would Madam prefer hers with "five preprogrammed pleasure modes" or "a pair of individually balanced vibrator engines"? Multi-speed his-and-her dual controls? And will that be in medical-grade silicone, 18-carat gold or Pyrex?

Finally, there's a cure for loneliness and tension on "a long intercontinental flight or during a break on a busy day".

But that's where it ends. As Bullock says. "Ladies, they're not to replace your husband - they don't put out the garbage."

Indeed, the bedroom could be the most even playing-field in gender politics. "It could be as close as we'll ever get to equality," says Liz Lord of Madame Rouge. "Women are feeling comfortable enough to ask their partners to do what they need to satisfy them or to show them what they want. Or they can say, 'Yes, I'm a single woman, I have sexual needs and I can cater for them myself."'

Only women would use the name "love toy", says Joan Sauers, the author of The Sex Lives Of Australian Women. "It's not to say women don't like sex for sex's sake but most women can't disconnect from the emotion."

Masturbation, she says, is a way of getting to understand how the body works.

"It's very rarely about just the sex. But if [women] can learn how to get themselves off, they can talk to their partners about what they like, which is what sex toys help them understand."

Bullock's mission is to inspire romance. "I think that's the word. So many of us are missing it in our lives, the actual making of love," she says.

After nearly a year at Pash, she's only once had reservations about her line of work: at Canberra airport, going through security with a dozen love toys in her hand luggage. "Someone had forgotten to take the batteries out of the toys. I'd read about an airport in Helsinki that had been closed down because someone's vibrator had gone off in their bag," she says.

Our hostess ends the demonstration and glides over to the kitchen to produce supper: mini smoked salmon parcels, three tiers of friands, chocolate slice and caramel-filled filo tarts and meringues topped with whipped lemon curd. Finally, we feel ecstasy. "I should have been a '50s housewife," she says and smiles wickedly.
The shape of things to come

Women are enjoying battery-operated love but, alas, there's been a casualty. As a pleasure object, the penis is deflating.

The new generation of lady vibes include eggs, pebbles, bullets, wands, rings and tiny catamarans that flutter at the most sensitive region on a woman's body.

Durex, for example, has released two contoured feminine objects "based on the physical make-up of the female form" after consultation with sexologists, sexual health professionals and women. International electronics company Philips has chosen an ergonomic sculptural purple rock for its first foray into Europe's lucrative sex toy market.

"People are buying products that are not phallic-like," says Liz Lord, of Madame Rouge lingerie parties. Her biggest sellers are the pebbles, including a porcelain-feel Swedish toy that's so pretty "it looks like a little ornament for your bedside table".

This is not another argument to support male obsolescence. Lord says 75 per cent of her toys are used for "couples play" and that men are happy with the new shape. "A vibrator for a man is just as pleasurable as it is for a woman," she says. It's just that two penises in the bed can be one too many. "The pebbles aren't as threatening."

Those with issues about size should let their hang-ups go. The Eros Foundation's Fiona Patten says Australia's top-selling toy, the iVibe rabbit, has been replaced by a smaller model. "Not a trend you would expect for a sex toy," she says.

September 25, 2008
http://www.smh.com.au

History: A Brief History of The Vibrator

Sometimes, misunderstood and revered, but secretly loved by its supporters, the Vibrator has as colourful a history as the modern day models that sit proudly on the store shelves or the pages of websites, waiting patiently and offering the promise of pleasure to an eager purchaser.

Some are not too different in form and function from the earliest ones found, much to the embarrassment of archaeologists earlier this century.

Excavations of ancient civilizations unearthed stone objects that were clearly sculptures of penises. Probably used in fertility or religious rituals, these objects played an important role in their communities.

The ancient Greeks with their olive oil and phallic objects understood a little better than most and realised that if they went to war and they wouldn't be around to satisfy their women, that they would develop a wandering uterus, so they would leave their wives with phallic shaped objects made of wood or leather to pleasure themselves until they returned. Naturally the olive oil came in handy as a natural and healthy lubricant for such devices.

These days Vibrators are far more developed and their usage is certainly different to that prescribed in their unusual beginnings..or is it?

The historical documentation of their development is certainly an interesting story to note.

The first mechanical vibrator was invented in the late 1800's by a British physician as a way to more efficiently perform a type of therapeutic massage on female patients.

First we must set the scene in the 1800's with a society of well dressed gents and ladies in flowing gowns who carried parasols and certainly didn't discuss pleasures of the flesh.

Imagine for a moment all these ladies parading around in their finery but hiding a deep mysterious affliction.

What was this affliction?

Apparently it was called "hysteria" a sinister type of madness. Hysteria was originally perceived as a disease, but what it basically boiled down to was sexually frustrated women suffering from an intense need or longing for an orgasm.

This forced repression began early on in the schools for young women where the matrons would glove the hands of their pupils at night in their dormitories to prevent them from their carnal desires to masturbate, anyone caught would have the further embarrassment of having their hands strapped to their beds while they slept.

To cure this affliction or Hysteria, doctors would manually massage women to orgasm in the hope of relieving them of this mysterious illness. No doubt it came as a huge relief when the first steam powered device was invented. Doctors all over Britain, suffering from repetitive strain injury, no doubt breathed a sigh of relief as now they would just have to stoke the small steam contraption and let it do the work for them.

Can you imagine how busy those doctors were!

One wonders how many women feigned hysteria simply to get to the doctors for some hands on relief!

Fortunately in the 1950's this idea of hysteria was replaced by the theory that it was simply a revolt of the womans need for sexual liberation following periods of sexual deprivation. How many husbands were suddenly jolted by the realisation that the local GP had been masturbating their wives for them for years.

I would imagine there were a few doctors a little disappointed by the downgrading of this 'disease' as well!

Today, gone are the crude stone, wood and steam powered models. They come in different lengths, sizes, shapes and textures to more adequately replicate that which they are representing. Some have collections to perform different functions while couples may use them as an enhancement to their sexual lives.

Owning a vibrator is a sign that you are comfortable with your sexuality and that as a woman you don't need to rely solely on another man to give you satisfaction. How could we compete as men with these battery operated or rechargeable wonders anyway. As hard as we try we have some stiff competition.

September 29, 2008
http://www.prudentpressagency.com

The science of desire

It's a biological riddle. We think of our libidos as a force of nature beyond our control; yet we also complain, increasingly, that they are too weak. Cathy Holding investigates the enigma of sexual response.

Human sexual response is a complex combination of social, hormonal, physiological and psychological factors, most of which are poorly understood. Society plays a role in what is considered to be acceptable in sexual desire: religious beliefs, family values and upbringing all affect one's attitude to one's own feelings of sexual desire. Hormones play a role the massive surges in testosterone and oestrogen in adolescents that precedes sexual activity are overwhelming in the changes they bring about in the transition from youth to adult. Sexual desire is the first of three behvioural repertoires associated with reproduction: sex drive (to find a mate), attraction (to find the best mate) and attachment or love (to allow time successfully to reproduce).

It is possibly one of the strongest drives in man (and animals) and it can bring out the best and the worst in people. In excess it can lead to hypersexuality and hyperstimulation of the genital region, sex crime, sexual addiction and persistent use of pornography. When repressed it can result in depression and neurosis or conversely it can be channelled into great creativity. When ignored, within stable relationships, it can lead good men and women to stray outside these relationships and threaten the happiness and stability of their families. It can be entirely suppressed, as in elective celibacy, and the energies re-routed to the greater spiritual good of the person and those around them. It can be denied and used to form the basis of lifelong friendships between people based on emotions much stronger than mere affection. It can be unfulfilled producing some of the most beautiful prose, poetry, music and art. It can change lives following chance meetings. It can lead to shotgun weddings... or it can just end up in total frustration after a boozy night and lead to the writing of songs such as "All Revved Up and Nowhere to Go".

The term "sexual desire" can mean one of two things: it can refer to the need for sexual intercourse itself, or it can mean something closer to sexual attraction for a specific person. This can lead to confusion in how sexual dysfunction is interpreted: it is possible that failure of the partner of the first part in their desire for the partner of the second part has nothing to do with the partner of the first part's true capability for sexual desire. This dimension to sexual desire/dysfunction is not addressed at all in the scientific literature.

The sexual response comprises three phases: desire, arousal and orgasm. Desire is the anticipation through imaginary processes of a pleasure hoped for in reality. It both precedes and accompanies the rise of excitation or arousal. The phases are, however, not independent of each other: for example, problems with orgasm can be related to problems with arousal that in turn can stem from a lack of desire. Conversely, erectile dysfunction is associated with lowered sexual desire. Sexual dysfunction of female sexual desire, arousal, or orgasm affects approximately one in three (30 per cent) of women. Sexual desire decreases with increasing age, and social, psychological or physical distress lowers levels of sexual desire in both genders. Few studies are aimed at examining sexual desire in the normal population but most focus on sexual dysfunction, particularly in the older generation.

(Most) people like sex

Having an orgasm is a powerful demonstration of a person's health. It is also very good for you. In a Welsh study on 918 men between the ages of 45 and 59, death from heart attacks or heart disease were 50 per cent lower in men with high orgasmic frequency than in those with low orgasmic frequency sex actually has a protective effect on men. Most men enjoy sex with their partners; more than two thirds of men (75 per cent) always achieve orgasm with their partner. A third of women always climax with their partners, but according to one feminist this may be because the rest simply choose to limit the number of climaxes they award to their mates. Higher orgasm rates are recorded in older people.

Losing one's mojo

Reduction in sexual desire can, in fact, be perfectly normal, particularly with increasing age. It only becomes a problem when it causes pain or distress to oneself or a partner and hence conflict. Differences in desire can be linked to hormone differences and men seem to be provided with more of the hormone of desire, so to speak, (ie, testosterone) than women. In addition, on a psychosexual level, men have a greater need actively to express their sexuality to prove their masculinity to themselves. Some women may only need to experience their man's desire to be reassured of their femininity.

Sexual desire and age

From an evolutionary point of view, female sexual desire must contribute to the success of reproduction, and hence a link exists between levels of desire and levels of fertility. Positive emotional responsiveness to erotic stimuli is found to be increased during the follicular phase of the menstrual cycle, when women are at their most fertile, and this could mean an increase in the probability of sexual activity at that time; in general it is known that female sexual desire fluctuates with the menstrual cycle. However, sexuality is completely dissociated from reproduction in older women, and usually so in older men. Nevertheless sex is a need that improves quality of life, promotes feelings of well-being and undoubtedly a person's health whatever the age. Most (younger) people are repulsed by the idea that older folks should be sexually active and this can reflect back on the older person who may feel that they should not be behaving in this manner at their age. It is the responsibility of health workers and those professionally in charge of older people to help them better understand that their desires are perfectly normal. Older people seem to enjoy sex more. A study in 904 men with an average age of 60 years (and mild to severe erectile dysfunction) found that older men are not quite so anxious about sexual performance as are younger men, which may reflect different levels of expectation between age groups. Older men reported more sexual satisfaction than younger men no matter how severe their erectile dysfunction. Older men reported slightly less sexual desire than younger men but lower sexual desire was related to higher levels of erectile dysfunction. In this day and age, medications such as sildenafil (Viagra(R)) are available to assist in overcoming the physical limitations of the elderly population (ie, erectile dysfunction), but others such as testosterone have been found to increase sexual desire in older men without improving any of the other parameters of sexual function.

It's a man thing...

A recent Danish study, in which 8,868 adults responded to a questionnaire, examined the prevalence of self-reported sexual desire and the decrease in sexual desire over a five-year period in both men and women across different age ranges. Results showed that men have a significantly higher level of sexual desire than women. Investigations into the sexual activity of an elderly population with an average age of 81 years, who were mostly (56 per cent of them) women, found that only 18 per cent of women, compared with 41 per cent of the men, were sexually active. The most common sexual activity was intercourse for men and masturbation for women. Among the women, "no desire" was the most common reason for sexual inactivity. Sexual function scores for women were low across all categories which included lubrication, desire, orgasm, arousal, pain, and satisfaction. For men, the main reason for sexual inactivity was erectile dysfunction, and sexual function scores were also low for the categories of orgasm, and overall satisfaction but not for desire. For older men at least, it seems that the spirit is willing, even if the flesh is weak. For the majority of older women, the desire for sex appears mostly to be lost.

Desire and the menopause

The Menopause Epidemiology Study, a cross-sectional, population-based study of 1,480 sexually active postmenopausal women aged 40 to 65 in the United States, attempted to define female sexual dysfunction. It found that sexual dysfunction, in terms of desire, arousal and orgasm difficulties, was due mainly to vulvovaginal atrophy defined as vaginal dryness, itching and irritation, pain on urination, or pain or bleeding on intercourse. Estimates of the prevalence of low sexual desire and hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) in the US were calculated in 755 premenopausal women and 552 naturally and 637 surgically menopausal women. Low sexual desire is more common among surgically and naturally menopausal women compared to premenopausal women. However, the women who were surgically menopausal were distressed about their low desire. Low levels of sex hormones, particularly oestradiol, physical and mental well-being and, importantly, feelings for partner are all relevant to a woman's sexuality in natural menopause.

Working at it

In a questionnaire study in 219 Brazilian-born women, the sexuality of women in midlife was found to be adversely affected by such factors as living with a sexual partner and being in the menopausal transition or being postmenopausal. Living with a sexual partner might be viewed as an unusual reason for an adverse effect on sexual desire, but maintaining sexual desire in long-term relationships can be a problem. A "goal-oriented" strategy is one psychological approach to such a problem. Studies tested whether adopting strong "approach goals" (ie, goals focused on the pursuit of positive experiences in a relationship such as fun, growth, and development) result in greater sexual desire in relationships. They found that individuals with strong approach goals experience even greater desire on days where partners are getting along, and less of a decrease in desire on days when things aren't going too well between partners. This kind of goal-oriented "working-at-the-relationship" approach works better with women than with men, but men surely must benefit from their partner's increased sexual desire. How a woman sees herself, in terms of positive imagery of the female body, affects a woman's sexual desire and what she does with it. Signs and symptoms of depression are significantly associated with loss of libido in older women and the odds of losing libido increases as the number of depressive symptoms increases. Women who do not have concerns over their level of sexual desire say that they feel loved and safe with their partner, that he tells her she's sexy, and that he is romantic. It makes no difference in this case whether or not the woman is in menopause, but interestingly, postmenopausal women prefer more love and emotional bonding cues from their partner, with these resulting in feelings of sexual desire in the woman, compared with premenopausal women.

In conclusion

Overall, knowledge about human sexual desire is somewhat limited, mainly because it is such a complex issue revolving around hormones, feelings and health. Generally speaking, desire decreases with age, but this may simply be because older people are more likely to suffer illness and loss of loved ones, as well as lower hormone levels. Whether loss of desire causes distress ultimately depends on the individual, although it may have repercussions in partner relationships for example, because more men experience sexual desire than women, which can continue right into old age.

Treatment therapies: for hypoactive sexual desire disorder

Exogenous testosterone treatment has been suggested as a rational therapeutic alternative for women whose low libido negatively affects their quality of life. Despite a recent (anonymous) publication suggesting that the disorder HSDD has been cynically created by drug companies to coincide with the market release of testosterone patches, HSDD is a recognised disorder and testosterone therapy is known to improve HSDD.

Testosterone patches are licensed in the UK for women with surgically induced menopause who are taking concomitant oestrogen therapy.

Testosterone patches are not recommended for naturally menopausal women or for those taking conjugated oestrogens. Safety and efficacy of testosterone patches have not been established beyond one year of treatment. In the meantime, hormone replacement therapy (HRT) has been shown to provide significant improvement in sexual function compared to women receiving no treatment although harmful effects have been found in some clinical trials: certain health authorities now consider that risk-benefit considerations do not favour the use of HRT. However, most experts agree that if HRT is used on a short-term basis (taken for no more than five years) then the benefits of HRT outweigh any associated risk.

As with all aspects of partner relationships, the most important aspects in dealing with problems are communication and a will to make the relationship succeed.

It is also important that people should practise healthy lifestyles – not drink too much or smoke, and take more exercise for overall health and fitness. Women should strengthen pelvic floor muscles (preferably with those little Japanese balls that you get from Ann Summers).

Couples should seek counselling if necessary – and, for men, psychosexual therapy significantly can deal with erectile dysfunction, caused by mental problems, more than sildenafil on its own.

September 18, 2008
http://www.independent.co.uk

Giving yourself a hand

You started this in your mother’s womb. You might have even continued in spite of the fear tactics, embarrassment, secrecy and shame that became associated with it as you grew up. It’s such a private thing that many people do not share this part of themselves with their partners. The majority of sex education classes disregard it. You don’t brag about it to your friends. It’s masturbation.

The art of self-love is completely downplayed; there is no glamour associated with masturbation. For the hundreds of thousands of books on sex positions with a partner or partners, the literature detailing the techniques and suggestions to finding satisfaction with oneself is very dismal. Yet what could be more important? The key to having great sex with someone is knowing what great sex is for you.

“My design was to write upon the disorders occasioned by masturbation, or self-pollution. … Besides, is not the crime sufficiently proved, when it is demonstrated to be an act of suicide?” This is what a prominent doctor named Samuel Auguste David Tissot wrote in 1766 in “Onanism: Or, a Treatise on the Disorders Produced by Masturbation: Or, the Dangerous Effects of Secret and Excessive Venery,” his essay on masturbation. For hundreds of years, people believed epilepsy, seizures and insanity were just some of the illnesses caused by masturbation. The scary thing about these beliefs and erroneous medical disorders is that they haven’t changed drastically over the centuries.

It was just a little over 50 years ago — when the first Kinsey studies came out — that masturbation became publicly discussed on a large scale. Still, the topic isn’t openly lauded. Many children are told that if they touch themselves their genitalia will fall off or they will become blind. Many people do not masturbate because they fear they will lose interest in their partner, while others simply think that masturbating is unhealthy.

So, let’s clear up the confusion and state the facts.

Fetuses masturbate. Little kids masturbate. Dolphins masturbate. Every gender and non-gender masturbates. People over 100 years old even masturbate. Masturbation relieves tension, stress, headaches and cramps. It heightens your mood after, or in the middle of, a long and crappy day. Masturbation helps you go to sleep. For women and men, masturbation boosts hormone levels and releases endorphins that give you that great feeling and make you glow for the rest of the night and/or day.

The key to great self-loving is exploration. Find out what you like best, in the position and location that you prefer. Try different fantasies, read erotic stories and watch different types of porn to see what peaks your interest. Whether in the shower, in the car, classroom or bed, sex with yourself can lead to new aspects of enjoyment in every area. The wonderful thing about masturbation is that it involves only you; there is no need to make room for another person in the bathroom stall — just be aware there are public indecency laws.

Discover the ways that you respond to soft touch, warm liquids, hard surfaces, on your knees or with your hands handcuffed to the bed. (This can be done if you have safety handcuffs that unclip in the middle.) Body pillows can be rubbed against; the shower head can give you amazing sensations. Check out your kitchen and see how sweet and sour sauce feels on the inside of your arm. But be sure to keep the sugar above the belt — this can produce yeast infections in both men and women — and the oils away from latex condoms as oil breaks down latex. Try more than one finger, both hands and even your feet.

And don’t forget the anus; it’s full of nerves, and the delights that can be found with a finger or a butt plug are just waiting for you. However, remember that anything you play with anally needs to have a flared base because the rectum does not have an ending. You don’t want to lose your toy or carrot mid-orgasm.

Involve parts of your body beside the nether regions. Suck on your fingers, bite your shoulder and spank your own ass. Find out what gets you going and what may get you off. You can also use a sex toy such as a vibrator or a flogger; just remember to clean the object after use. Using a condom on the toy can decrease mess and ease clean up. Just don’t mix silicone lube with your favorite silicone toy as the liquid silicone will potentially melt your toy — that includes the lubes on the condoms.

Masturbation does not need to be done alone. Mutually masturbating while watching your partner can enhance the act, and it can also make you aware of more ways your partner likes to be pleased. Additionally, mutual masturbation can also create a greater sense of closeness. Still, please be aware that when a partner is present, fluids may fly and potentially transmit an STI, so use a condom. Masturbating with a partner can also balance out the sexual needs of partners if one partner has a higher sex drive than the other partner.

Masturbation: the cure for your aches and pains, the excitement at the end of your day, the sex act that does NOT spread STIs, the relationship builder and confidence booster. It feels good. Go ahead; brag about it.

Nicolette Pawlowski is a member of Sex Out Loud and a graduate student pursuing her master’s degree in educational policy studies.

October 1, 2008
http://badgerherald.com

Bedroom Pleasures Bring the Award Winning We Vibe to the UK

Bedroom Pleasures, one of the largest sex toy and lingerie companies in the UK, has made the revolutionary couple's sex toy, the We Vibe, available in the UK after previously only being available in the US.

The We Vibe Personal Massager is a new, dual purpose vibrator for individual use or with a partner. Totally rechargeable and waterproof, the We Vibe can be used while having sex even upon penetration, offering both partners the added sensation of pulsating vibrations, with

The We Vibe is a well designed and discreet clitoral vibrator. The revolutionary and distinctive "C" shape is exclusive to the We-Vibe and it boasts a number of innovative features not currently available anywhere else in the adult novelty market. Unlike traditional and typical dual stimulation toys, the We-Vibe is the only hands-free, strapless, and wireless product that provides powerful stimulation directly to the clitoris and G-Spot as it is worn while making love.

The inner skeleton design of the We Vibe allows it to be flexible helping to ease insertion. The soft surface is made from medical grade silicon ensuring that users won't experience the allergic reactions that can be suffered when using items made from phthalates or latex. The surface is also ridged, designed to give stimulation along and around the clitoris and vaginal wall. Discreet and small, the We Vibe's dual motors provide harmonic pulsations between 3000rpm and 5000rpm.

Over time, the We-Vibe becomes familiar with its owner's body and conforms naturally, while the internal memory material learns to accommodate its individual user.

The new vibrator recently won Top Toy of the Year by the viewers of "Talk Sex with Sue Johanson" in the US and, due to its innovative design and overall versatility, many in the sex toy industry see the potential of the We Vibe replacing a selection of sex toys upon its arrival in the UK.

About Bedroom Pleasures

Bedroom Pleasures was formed in 2003 by James Knight and Rob Stevenson. The company was founded with the aim of selling high class sex aids of any nature on the internet, and 2006 saw Bedroom Pleasures move into a new 2500 square foot premises in Watford.

Currently, Bedroom Pleasures is one of the largest online sex toy and lingerie companies in the UK. Over 3,000 products are in stock and ready for same day dispatch. Bedroom Pleasures serves hundreds of happy customers every day and dispatches to the UK, Europe and beyond.

Vibrator.com stocks the We Vibe and it's one of our best sellers!  Get yours here:  We Vibe


October 2, 2008
http://www.24-7pressrelease.com/

Top Ten Crazy Sex Toys

10. The Accommodator – This rubber strap-on dildo you wear on your face makes us think all sorts of naughty thoughts about Walt Disney's Pinocchio, but once we get past the idea of a pre-pubescent puppet poking his nose in places we will not speak of, the Accommodator starts to make a lot of sense in that you can penetrate your lady friend while orally pleasuring her at the same time.  

9. Mr. Jack with Mustache – This rubber jack-off sleeve for men thoroughly creeps us out, especially the Chester-Molester-like mustache, but we have to admit it is the ideal alternative to a one-night-stand – a mouth that doesn't talk – which means no awkward morning after goodbyes.

8. Nanny Cam – This "insertable micro camera for internal viewing action with a powerful, multi-speed bullet easily plugs into your television or records on your VCR" sounds a tad bit freaky, but makes us feel super special at the same time because hell, we've never been on TV.

7.  Road Warrior – This vibrator that plugs into your car's cigarette lighter would certainly make the drive home from work one worth looking forward to, but we're a bit worried about the salivating semi-truck driver with the bird's eye view into our car.

6. Mega Nipple Exciter – This vibrating pump with a red rubber bulb that you attach to your tit sounds fun enough, except for the fact that it leaves a hickey behind. The only problem is we can't shake from our head that the pump looks strangely similar to a clown's nose and we fear our boyfriend might make obnoxious noises when squeezing it.

5.  Double Dong with Balls – Two dildos joined at the scrotum has us thinking, "Double the pleasure, double the fun," only thing is we might find our dog thinking the same thing and mistaking it for a chew toy, in that case we'll give it to him and suffer the consequences when our parents come over for dinner and ask us, "What the hell is that?"

4.  EZ Rider With 6-Inch Realistic Cock – This dildo mounted on an inflatable ball looks absolutely bizarre, but because it reminds us of a therapy ball like the ones we use at the gym, we have to admit it would probably make working out so much more relaxing.

3. Joy Finger – This realistic dismembered rubber finger mounted on a plastic vibrator is probably the most horrifying sex toy we have ever seen in our life, but damn would it make a great Halloween decoration and boy, do we love Halloween.

2.  Kaylani's Foot Fetish – This molded female foot in a high-heeled sandal with a vagina on the sole of the shoe simply has us wondering, "Why?"

1. Dick Rambone Dildo – This dildo, cast from the member of a porn star, which is 15 inches long, almost 8 inches around and 2 1/2 inches thick absolutely, positively scares us, but more importantly, we think it would scare a burglar if one broke into our home, especially if we were swinging it around screaming obscenities.

October 3, 2008
http://media.www.ecollegetimes.com

Nerds rejoice: Braininess boosts likelihood of sex

Lonely men ought to flaunt their copies of New Scientist. Women looking for both one-night stands and long-term relationships go for geniuses over dumb jocks, according to a new study of hundreds of university students.
nerd jock

"Women want the best of both worlds. Not only a physically attractive man, but somebody in the long term who can provide for them," says Mark Prokosch, an evolutionary psychologist at Elon University in North Carolina, who led the study.

To many women, a smart man will appeal because he is likely to be clever enough to keep his family afloat. But he may also pass on "good" genes to his children, say Prokosch and his colleagues at the University of California, Davis.

Rather than ask women to rate qualities they seek in men, as other studies had done, Prokosch's team asked 15 college men to perform a series of tasks on camera.

The volunteers read news reports, explained why they would be a good date, and what would be the ramifications of the discovery of life on Mars. They also threw and caught a Frisbee to parade their physical appeal. Each potential suitor also took a quantitative test of verbal intelligence.

Smart is sexyMore than 200 women watched a series of these videos before rating each man's intelligence, attractiveness, creativity and appeal for a short-term or long-term relationship.

While the difference between short- and long-term mates may amount to a boozy decision students face each weekend, it has some evolutionary significance, Prokosch says. In potential husbands, women look for signs that a man might be a good provider and father. In one-night stands, women are on the prowl for little more than good genes, not to mention a good time.

Women proved to be decent judges of intelligence, with their scores generally matching each man's intelligence test results.

As for picking a bed-mate, the men's actual smartness proved a reliable indicator of their appeal for both brief hook-ups and serious relationships – which came as something of a surprise. Other studies have suggested that, for women anticipating short-term relationships, a man's braininess isn't foremost in their minds.

The disparate results may be due to women's lack of awareness that intelligence also affects the attractiveness of candidates for quick flings – how intelligent women perceived a man to be influenced his desirability as a long-term mate much more than his appeal for a one-night stand.


Martie Haselton, an evolutionary psychologist at the University of California in Los Angeles, also notes that although women were good judges of intelligence, they weren't perfect. In many cases, women rated good hook-ups as dunces, when their intelligence scores indicated otherwise.

"There could be aspects of intelligence that we pick up on when we interact with a person and that affect our assessment of them, even if we wouldn't label it as intelligence," she says.

But some things never change. Looks were still a much more powerful predictor of sex appeal than brains. "Women are still going for the hunk," Prokosch says. "If you had an option to pick from five different people, you would pick the most attractive one."

So in a perfect world, women want a Nobel prize winner with movie-star looks. Creativity also proved to be a sought-after trait, and Prokosch's team is currently working on an objective measure of creativity, similar to the intelligence test they used.

However, in a world of limited resources, not every woman gets what she wants, and some are bound to fall for ugly, unintelligent and uncreative men. "There's always other people out there that find everything attractive," Prokosch says.

October 6, 2008
http://abcnews.go.com

Wisconsin Band Director Not A Fan Of Sex Toys

The University of Wisconsin marching band has been suspended amid rumors of hazing, alcohol abuse and sexual misconduct. That's right. The whole band. What kind of "sexual misconduct" gets an entire band suspended? I don't know but I was in the marching band and I can assure you, band geeks are freaky people.

    That means the band will not perform at tonight’s Big Ten football game between the 18th-ranked Badgers and the No. 14 Ohio State Buckeyes at Camp Randall Stadium, and it marks the first time the marching band has been suspended from a game show in at least 40 years, band director Mike Leckrone said.

    “I thought the only thing I could do to send the message was to suspend,” Leckrone said.

Apparently the band has run into deviance in the past. In 2006, the band was put on probation for "semi-nude dancing, sexualized banter and hazing ". No details are available about this year's incident, but the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel has drummed up some of the band past indiscretions:

• A hazing incident in which a female band member was told to suck on a sex toy.
• Female band members being forced to kiss other female band members to gain access to bus bathrooms.
• Younger band members being forced to run errands and refill beer cups for older band members.
• Behavior in 2004 that led a bus driver to pull over and call the police.

Kissing girls and sucking on sex toys? Sounds like a standard Friday night for most co-eds. After the 2006 incidents, Leckrone promised to get a handle on his band and had this to say, ""If it doesn't happen, I don't think I should be the director." Well that just seals his fate, doesn't it?

October 7, 2008
http://deadspin.com

Modern Sex: The Masturbator’s Dictionary

Some of my friends mentioned that they did not recognize many of the toy types that I listed several weeks ago. I figured since they were lost, others of you are probably lost too. So, today’s column is devoted to telling you about the different types of sex toys available.

Dildos are non-vibrating insertable toys. They often have phallic-like details; however, if you are not into phallic toys, it is possible to find non phallic dildos. Dildos can be harness-compatible with a large flat base so that it won’t slip out of the ring meant to hold it in place. Some dildos have a suctioning ability, and thus, replicate to some degree the motion and angle of several positions of sex. Dildos come in a variety of shapes and sizes, and can usually be used anally (if it has a wide or flat base) as well—however, always wash it thoroughly with antibacterial soap and water, and use a condom when going from anal play to vaginal play. Anal specific dildos are called butt plugs.

Vibrators encompass a large variety of sex toys. The traditional vibrator is usually straight and has an obelisk-esque shape to it. It’s generally not fancy, but can do its job well. Traditional vibrators can be used both clitorally and vaginally. They should not be used anally because they do not typically have a flat base that would prevent it from getting stuck inside.

That being said, there are vibrators made specifically for anal play with a t-shaped base or a flat base. An anal vibrator will have a vibrating mechanism inside the toy itself, or it will have a removable bullet vibrator.

A bullet vibrator is a small vibrator, typically no more than 2.5 inches in length and no more than 1 inch in circumference. They can be used vaginally, but are typically used clitorally. Some bullet (or egg) vibrators have multiple speeds while others simply have one speed. Never use a bullet vibrator anally because it can get stuck or lost in the rectum and will require a visit to the ER. If it has a string or a cord, it still shouldn’t be used anally because the string or cord could break.

Bullet vibrators are what are used with cock rings to make a vibrating cock ring. Cock rings come in several varieties, one that simply sits around the base of the penis, one that sits behind the penis and testicles, one that has two loops—one to go around the base of the penis and one to go around the top of the testicles, and finally a vibrating cock ring. The purpose of the cock ring is to help an erection last longer and provide additional pleasure for one or both partners.

G-spot vibrators are vibrators that have a curved end meant to stimulate the g-spot, the urethral sponge located behind the vaginal wall, 2-3 inches inside the front wall of the vagina. There is a variety in the severity of the curve among different vibrators. Some people find the sharp curve to be intimidating, I find it most pleasurable. G-spot vibrators often work equally well as p-spot vibrators or massagers.

The p-spot stands for the prostate gland. Only males have it and it can only be stimulated anally. It is located 2-3 inches past the anal canal on the front wall (facing the navel) of the rectum. There are toys made specifically for p-spot stimulation, I recommend using silicone, metal, or glass.

Clitoral vibrators, often called personal massagers, are meant to be used externally. They come in a variety of shapes, sizes, colors and price ranges. Since these toys are less likely to pick up and harbor bacteria, since they are not used internally, you can be slightly less cautious with the material, but be sure to wash your toy thoroughly before and after each use.

Dual action vibrators are those that have an insertable portion as well as an external attachment that is used to stimulate the clitoris or perineum (the area just in front of the anus) or the anus. These are commonly called rabbit vibrators (vaginal and clitoral stimulation). Likewise, dual penetration vibrators are used to penetrate both the vagina and anus. Both toys have two sets of controls for each motor in the toy.

For next week: Tell me where you hide your toys and adult videos, and why you hide them in that particular place. All submissions will remain anonymous. Email me at BiCoModernSex@gmail.com to ask anonymous question, or request that I address a specific topic, unless you tell me you intend to harm yourself and/or others without mutual consent, your email is confidential.

Signing off for now, remember to always Kovet Yourself.

October 8, 2008
Kama Yama
http://www.biconews.com

MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ IN SEX TOY BATTLE

Actress Michelle Rodriguez is a feisty one, there's no doubt. The star of 'Girlfight', 'Lost' and 'Battle In Seattle' has been romantically linked with Vin Diesel (yeah right), and Olivier Martinez and best of all Kristanna Loken, the only good thing in 'Terminator 3'.

    Why, just last year she told 'Latina' magazine: "If I wanna fuck a girl, a boy, a dog, that's my business."


Classy lady. Though the whole sex thing does become everybody's business if you have a massive argument with your partner at 9am on a Sunday morning, especially if you conduct the argument in a motel in Florida. Guests at the motel were surprised to hear Rodriguez screaming and hammering on a room door, says the New York Daily News who quoted an eyewitness.

    "I woke up Sunday morning to the sounds of two women yelling, and one of them was smashing the door knocker very loudly. I peeked out and saw it was Rodriguez. She's screaming, 'Open up, let me in, bitch!'"


Oh, it gets better. When the 'bitch' in question still refused to open the door, Michelle decided to use her greatest weapon. Literally.

    "If you don't open up, you're not getting your dildo back.”


It's no surprise that the eyewitness reports that the door immediately opened and a furious Rodriguez marched inside, then probably set about administering enough discipline to make a whore blush. One can only imagine what she was using to hammer the door so forcefully, but it seems to have worked. Maybe it's the end of the road for the simple doorknocker and the advent of the 'doorcocker'

October 9, 2008
http://www.holymoly.co.uk

My Vibrator and I

I really like to masturbate. There, I said it. Sometimes all I want to do after a long and stressful day is go home, whip out my vibrator, put on some porn and have a few orgasms. Is that so wrong?

Personally, I don't think so. In fact, I think all you ladies should possess your own vibrator to use from time to time. Perhaps something small and unobtrusive, like bullet vibes, which are discreet enough to carry around in your purse or pocket. Or perhaps something fun and fancy, like Rabbit vibrators, which come in a variety of sizes and colors to suit your more particular tastes. I prefer bullet vibrators, but in case the idea of owning a sex toy is too freaky for your vanilla mind to compute, I would instead encourage you to use your hand, showerhead, bathtub faucet or even electric toothbrush in order to get yourself off. Why am I pushing this, you ask?

Because if you can't get yourself off, how can you expect someone else to do it for you?

Masturbation is the best way to figure out what feels good to you and what doesn't. Some girls like steady pressure on their G-spot; some prefer rhythmic pulsing against it. Some girls can't orgasm from sex without simultaneous clitoral stimulation, and some girls can have multiple orgasms with ease. Some girls squirt when they orgasm, and some girls, well, don't. If no one has touched you in that special way, how else would you know if you're a squirter? The point of the matter is that you won't know what gets you off until you experiment a little and experience it firsthand. And if you don't have a boyfriend, masturbation is the best way to experiment without having copious amounts of potentially awkward sex with random guys.

Before I continue, I should apologize to the men reading this column, because it's written more for the female sex. It's nothing against you, I just don't think males need any convincing when it comes to jacking their rods every once in a while-I'm pretty sure you guys already have that covered.

But moving on now, you may be thinking to yourself, "Thanks, but no thanks, I'm not down with touching myself. Gross." And that's OK, because you don't need to use your hand to have a clitoral orgasm. To be honest with you, I don't like physically "touching" myself either, as I would much rather have someone else doing the touching for me. But for a quick and easy good time, I highly recommend a vibrator with adjustable speeds (or a steady stream of water), applied directly on or around your clit. Basically. I say on or around the clit because preferred pressure and intensity vary from woman to woman, so it's up to you to discover what gets you off best. You should also be somewhat aroused when doing this (i.e. watching porn, reading erotica, fantasizing about that cute guy in English class, etc.), otherwise you may just feel awkward.

Oh, and just in case you didn't know, girls are capable of having two different types of orgasms: clitoral orgasms and vaginal orgasms. (That's right, boys, not only can we have multiple orgasms, but we can also orgasm in two different, yet equally amazing ways. Don't be too jealous.)

However, vaginal orgasms often require stimulation of the G-spot, and therefore would probably entail use of your hand or a well-shaped vibrator. I'll leave that up to you to discover for yourself though, as it requires a bit more experimentation than I can lay out in this brief column.

Before I end this, let me give you one more plus for self-pleasuring: It's a great form of foreplay. Seriously, I can guarantee that almost any guy would get hard off a girl touching herself in front of him. It's just science.

Likewise, I'm also a strong proponent for couples masturbating together. Mutual masturbation, as it is more technically called, is a great tool to use in the sack, as it serves a dual purpose: One, it increases the arousal of both parties and two, it allows both parties to demonstrate how they like being touched. It's a win-win situation, really. You turn yourself on and you teach your partner how best to turn you on.

If I still haven't sold you on the whole masturbating thing, that's fine. But if one day you find yourself frustrated that you've never had an orgasm, let me sum up this column for you: Porn, vibrator, orgasms. Go.

October 6, 2008
Kristine Deguzman
http://www.dailycal.org